"I wish we had some wine that I could drink," Mariel says, sitting on the edge of Tasha's bunk and laying back until her shoulders hit the wall. "I always pictured girls sitting together in their pajamas and drinking wine for talks like this."
"If it makes you feel better Nariel, I drank beer with men and my room was a hammock and a chest for my things. This is as much a intimiate conversationas I've had with another woman," Tasha admits, sitting on the container she had pushed in to a corner and never gotten around to upacking. "If you don't count my meeting Hakeber that is, but that was mostly business. I can almost see what you mean about how things 'should' be, but I know that's Nora's memory, not mine."
"It's all going to be weirder before it seems normal too," the young-yet-ancient Karnor girl notes. "I never really believed we could be alive again, in real bodies. But.. the doctors are making progress, and Fallen-Star is going to be reborn as Calligenia's daughter now. I guess.. well, I'll probably have an easier time of being eight-years-old again than the others, since that wasn't so long ago for me. Relatively speaking. Are you going to be our mom?"
Depending on who you are, Tasha's quaryers could be considered a treasure trove of adventure memorabilia, a visual tour of the history of the Expedition, a shrine toshiny things, or a pile of junk with a bed. Brought from the Orpheus, mismatching pictures of the various home worlds and other planets of the Fleet species bedeck the wall, spaced unevenly around the viewscreen, her small desk and computer terminal, and the various random assortment of things that only a Vartan explorer would love. Here and there are pieces of crystal or irregular industrial gemstones and broken laser refractors, seemingly out of place next to more conventional trophies of her journies: model ships, a moving sand sculpture of the Melchior, and a small army of Titan figurines. The lot of it grants a certain jaunty worldiness that is at odds with itself, the cozy chambers of a traveler who lives in two different worlds; were it not for the technology, the style could have been at home in captain's cabin of a Vartan airsh
ip.
Tasha listens, ears forward and legs crossed. when Mariel finishes, she doesn't answer immediately, closing her eyes and seeming tothink on it. After several seconds, she answers, "I'm not sure I should. In my rush to make a family, I didn't stop and think how that drive would impact others, and I'm not sure my efforts were entirely appreciated. Nora in particular won't like having to live that way, especially not with me as holding an authority over her. Having to call me "mother" would just grate on her ... " She shakes head, then opens her eyes. "I've thought that maybe she would be more comfortable leaving us, if she does somehow 'align' with her child body. We have enough contacts now that a family could be arranged -- it could be arranged for all of you, you wouldn't need to stay here any more. I know being trapped her is painful, and it would be insensitive of us to assume you will all want to remain when free to go where you chose."
"I'd like to travel," Mariel says, sitting fully upright again on the edge of the bed. "You're going back to Sinai. I bet it's a lot more fun for a kid than Abaddon. I hear you aren't even allowed to climb the park trees in New Zion. What's the best place for me, in your opinion? You've been everywhere, after all."
"I don't know about everywhere," Tasha insists with a grin, "but I have been around, mostly to the port cities. I'm not sure what your expectations are, though. The world you know seems to have been very different from the world of Abaddon, and even more so from the world I lived in on Sinai. Your world seems to have been very structured, very ... safe? When I listen to Gabriel, I get the impression he doesn't take the dangers of Sinai seriously, that he still thinks of it as a great adventure world full of interesting natives waving stricks around, no threat to him. But Sinai has its own dangers, and if you're not careful it can go very badly for you. Gabriel talks of college and waiting tables as if it were all good fun, but some one the people I waited tables for were murderes, pirates, rapists and worse. I grew up on streets where you might get stabbed for a few shekels. That's the reality of Sinai, for all its wonders."
Tasha lets out a sigh, shaking her head again. "I'm sorry, I'm just being overprotective. Again. Let me ask you this, Mariel: What do you think these worlds are like?"
"Open," Mariel says, looking at the pictures on the walls. "Nobody telling you where to go or what to do.. or at least, you can say no when they do, and take the consequences. And you aren't any better or worse than the people around you and nobody is out to kill you just because of your species. Someplace where I can be outside, wearing just shorts or something. And where there are mountains to climb and beaches to run on and trees to climb. I know it was hard for you growing up, Tasha.. but that's not your situation any more."
"No, it's not. But, it is the reason I don't want you to have to grow up the way I did. I may be able to restrain myself from trying to pull you all in and never let you go, but you'll never be able to convience me to be indifferent to your wellbeing!" The young Vartan pauses as she realizes her voice is rising, and so she takes a breath, then offers an embrassed smile for the slip. "See? I can't even avoid getting worked up over something happening to you! And you're all older than me!" She chuckles, leaning back and shaking her head. "Maybe I'm not the right person to ask, but, ... if you're set on Sinai ... Keep in mind it's not as free as it appears. Classisim is rampant; you won't get anywhere without money. They may not kill you for your species, but that doesn't mean there's no danger. There's slavery, corruption, power-hungry governments and people ... We just had a major war several years ago, as well. It is freeier than these worlds, but it's also harder to get anywhere, unless you're a
unless you're already there. Layth was a slave, and so were nearly the entire Silent-One population. Education is inferior to Abaddon and expensive, but they do have, well, magic that we don't. You can go anywhere, Mariel, but that doesn't mean you end up any better. Still, Abaddon has its own troubles ... Does Sinai still sound like where you want to be?"
"I'd at least like to see it," Mariel admits. "I mean.. it may be just as nasty, but it also sounds like it has more opportunity. Here, I'd just be another Karnor - but on Sinai I'd have a built-in education from the start. Maybe I could work for the Temple, since they probably need people who know their technology. Although I'm just guessing at that. I really don't know what I want! I never had to think about it before, since.. well since the paths were all laid out for me, I just had to stick to one."
"I know it's hard, Mariel, but there's no rush. Sinai isn't going anywhere, and neither is Abaddon, at least not soon. Barring disaster, neither are we. Being aimless is a perfectly acceptable way to live until you figure out what you want, and should it be too much for you, you could always come home. Keep in mind technology barely works on Sinai -- most of what you know is unworkable there, whereas here you can achieve a fairly high level of technology. But if you still want to go to Sinai, well ... " Pulling in a deep breath, Tasha eyes Mariel in a way that would remind her far too much of her her mother eyed her before she left for Abaddon, she finally gives in. "Fine," she says, exhaling, and shrugging her wings. "Fine, if that's what you want ... Then you can live with my mother. That's where I was going to send Nora, if she wanted it, that is. You two could go together."
"Your mom? Isn't she a crazy drunken Vartan?" Mariel asks with wide eyes. "I was hoping maybe I could just go to school there. I mean, I'm good with math. Really good! Without computers, I bet they really need mathematicians. That's if I retain all that in a new brain. I don't how it'll work, if I'll still have the same personality or just the memories. I guess I think about traveling and adventure because I'm really scared about the whole thing. I've sorta accepted this existence, limited as it is, since.. I don't feel like I'm different inside. With a new body, I'm sure I'll be at least a little different."
Tasha listens, turning her head to stare off as she struggles to avoid admitting what she fears will happen, that Sinai will eat Mariel up; that she isn't sure the young woman is strong enough to survive alone. Reaching over, she picks up a Titan figure, turning it in her hands. "Mariel, there aren't many schools on Sinai, not as you know them. I know of two; one its the Mages Guild, but the other, on Rephidim, matches what you're looking for. I don't know if they have dorms, or what-not, but you'll be dealing with with middle and upper society people, people with power and politics. They wouldn't even have let someone like me in the door. I have no doubt you could impress them, but what I really fear is ... can you survive on your own? And if you can't, or you stumble, who will be there to help you? Intelligence isn't enough, and at least my mother can give you a haven if things go badly. I might be able to convience the Temple to allow you to study under the auspices of interplanetary good will a
alliance, that should keep you safe ... It might even win you some friends and allies."
"You're really worried about this stuff," Mariel notices. "When I come out.. decant.. whatever.. I'll be just eight years old. I don't mean that I'll run off right away! I still need to grow up again first, and I'll need a family for that. At this rate.. I think Dr. Caravelli will be the one ready to start one first. And his wife would be a Mage, which wouldn't hurt. I mean.. there's magic on Abaddon now too, so there'll be someone training people how to use it, however that works. I just don't want to be tied down through my whole youth like I was before."
Tasha's ears flatten when Mariel points out her emotional involvement, the ancient Karnor might even think she's blushing. "I'm just very concerned for my friends and family, " she insists. "So much can go wrong; we're on a razor's edge and I can't stand the idea of seeing this crew hurt any more than it must. I know that's unrealistic, especially for an officer, but ... " She shakes her head, reaching to put the model back and looking over to Mariel again. "There's time, I suppose. You probably know by now I can't have children conventionally, so Gabriel and I will probably never have children without assistance, and that's part of why I'm so protective of those children who are under my care. You might think I don't have any children, but I have several, and I worry about them all -- and you too. You feel like my little sister, even if you're older than me. You, more than anyone else in the crew, I try to look out for. I just ... I just want to see you be happy, and watch out for you, because it .
... it seemed like no one else ever did."
"I'm not really older than you," Mariel claims. "I guess you're just maturing a lot faster. I bet you wouldn't even have thought about any of this a year ago! But don't worry, it'll be awhile yet. I mean, you don't grow a body overnight and I'd still have to train my replacement first. And.. well, I don't know that I'd want to be the first to go; like I said, I'm afraid."
"You know, a part of me wants to beat up anyone who ever hurt you, but maybe that's ruining my mature imagine? Gods, Mariel, I never thought I'd be dealing with this so soon ... " The young Vartan brushes her hair from her face as she leans back against the bulkhead, then rubs the bridge of her muzzle. "I can't even articulate my feelings right. I start thinking I know what I'm going to say, but then it becomes an emotional jumble and I feel like I'm rambling to keep the panic back. But we have time, don't we? We have time ... You'ld think the captain of a giant flying clock could get that in her head ... " Letting her hand fall, she looks Mariel in the eyes, and says, "I promise by the time this is really a question, I won't be such a mess. Until then, you're always welcome to come talk to me, after after I have a bit to cool down, maybe I can provide more concrete, less biased answers about Sinai."
"And you can call me mom if you want," Tasha adds, smile creeping to her face.
"I dunno, you're not that much older than me at the moment, so it'd be weird," Mariel notes. "In a few years though, who knows! I'd like you to be here when I.. implant.." The girl waves her hands around a bit. "You know. It's not possession or anything that makes sense."
"Well not now! I just mean .. later. If you want." Tasha smiles more genuinely now, looking more at ease now that the question of Mariel's leaving is past. She settles back, folding her wings over her shoulders like a feathery shawl. "My machine children should be enough for me, I'm just a very greedy parent, apparently! Not that they're any easier ... Harmonia is older and smarter than me, not to mention being able to obliterate a city ... Come to think of it, why, dealing with you leaving should be easy by comparison!" Tasha lets out a nervous chuckle. Then, she suddenly stands up and declares, "Right, um, lets go see Nora before I have a panick attack over my family."
"She's probably in her cabin," Mariel notes. "Since we aren't linked into the computers directly anymore, she figured we should have some downtime too, so she's off-duty."
"Hokay, lets go. We'll, um, talk more about this later." Tasha heads for the door and waits for Mariel before proceeding down the hall to Nora's room, which is only a few rooms away. The crew section of Bellerophon may be high-tech, but spacious it is not.
"Nora? Are you in," Tasha asks as she stands outside the door, knowing the system will know to forward the question to the proper quarters.
"What?" is the reply over the intercom, and the door opens. For whatever reason, Nora is wearing a towel, and another wrapped around her head, as if she just took a shower. "Tasha! That's the real you, right? Or did you finally manage to escape the computer? Or.. Fred, is this a prank?"
"Ah ... " Tasha stares blankly at the older Karnor, then glances to Mariel before asking, "Are you ... all right, Nora?"
"What do you mean?" Nora asks, standing up straighter. "I'm fine! Why.. has someone being saying anything?" she asks, glancing at the suddenly demure Mariel.
"This is very weird," Tasha declares, perhaps to the gods that govern her life. "Nora, we're just here to say hello; Mariel said you needed to see me, and SAINA should as well? Has my PersoCom been causing problems, or something else I should know about?"
"Oh! That.." Nora says. "Well, you'd better come in.. uh, if you don't mind, Mariel." The younger wolf nods, pats Tasha on the back in a gesture of good luck, then ambles on down the corridor.
What have I gotten myself in to? I miss fighting monsters, when life was simple ... Tasha heads in, folding her arms behind herself as she shifts to lean against the bulkhead by the door. "You seem on edge, Nora, did something happen? Are you having problems coping?"
The cabin, while actually being bare, is filled with a holographic projection of Nora's apartment back on Orpheus. "Coping with what?" Nora asks, sitting on the edge of her 'bed' and sinking through a bit to the bunk below. "Is it the towels? Okay, sure, I pretend to take a shower every day, and have meals and so on.. but that's just being normal."
Tasha blinks, but quickly pushes a smile to her face. "Well, I'm ... um, glad you've found a way of coping, then. Just to be safe though, I'd recommend speaking with Dr. Caravelli, in the off-chance you're feeling any, um ... pent up stress." Pushing on, Tasha asks, "You ... wanted to see me about something?"
"Yes, I wanted to say that I forgive you for stealing Gabriel," Nora claims, and removes the towel from her head. She then makes brushing motions, pantomiming holding a brush.. and of course her hair responds as if it's really being brushed. "But if you let him get hurt on your little Magical Mystery Tour of Sinai, I'll cut your legs off." She smiles innocently as she says all this, of course.
Tasha's ears shoot up, and as she listens, her eyes get wider and wider. "Well," she stammers, eyes darting to Nora's hands just in case she can also materialize weaponry. "And here I thought things were getting abnormal, but everything is, um ... just like the home I remember ... " She sucks in a breath through her nose, then clears her throat and insists, "I assure you, even though it is none of your business, that I have not cheated on, nor plan to bring harm to, Gabriel. And I'll have you know, we're conducting import work on Sinai."
"What's this about cheating?" Nora asks, stopping her hand motions (but it takes her hair a moment longer to stop being brushed). "Why would you even say that? I didn't suggest you were! Have you been thinking about it? I know your PersoCom has eyed my Gabriel. Thank goodness Fred can keep her entertained.."
Tasha begins to interupt, but the sudden revelation her PersoCom is still making out with Fred causes her to have a momentary cerebral malfunction, not to mention wince. By the time she recovers, Nora's finished. "No I haven't cheated, yes I've thought about it. It's not like I was expecting getting in to a devoted relationship would be easy or never have these moments, but that's not the point," pulling her hands from behind her back, Tasha points a finger at the other woman and says, "Our relationship is not yours to judge. I thought we were past this! I know it's hard for you here, but you're losing your grip Nora. I thought you were stronger than this. Further, I don't appreciate you belittleing my every action, or judging me, especially not when all did all of this," she throws her hands up and waves to the surrounding ship, "at your behest! You say I stole Gabriel? You were dead, Nora. DEAD."
"Well.. he could have mourned a bit longer," Nora mumbles, a bit cowed. "And what's wrong with my living in the past a bit? What else am I going to do until I've got recruits to train? And have you seen the repairs they've done outside? It's going to look like Belle is wearing an iron girdle. I hope they buff it up to a proper shine at least. And your PC has hit on me, too, you know. That's part of why I ended up doing this." She gestures to the reproduced apartment. "Haven't you ever wanted to escape from reality in your own head?"
"Yes, I have." Now in fact. "But there's a difference between escaping, running away, and hostility. You've been at my throat since I carried out your request and brough you back -- your request. You've also belittled everything I've tried to build, every effort I've tried to make, all to take advantage of my trust in you -- that I looked up to you -- and make yourself feel better. I thought more highly of you than that, but I guess I was wrong." Not quite realizing it, the young Vartan finds she's raised her voice quite a bit louder than she had intended and is staring Nora down, not at all like she intended. She realizes, somewhere in her rebuttle, she became the alpha wolf -- and that Nora backed down. Stunned by the realization, she's silent a moment as she collects her thoughts, then she presses on. This time, much more quietly. "Nora, look. I think your situation is causing very real stress that is eating at you, and you look at me as the easiest scapegoat for a answer 'why.' But I didn't do i
Taking a deep breath, Tasha exhales, and says, "There's times in our lives we have to admit we can't handle a situation on our own, that we need help, that we're slipping. I know you can't look to me -- I've done everything I can to not be around, anymore, and once you're ... reborn, or however that works, you need never see me again. But for you need someone, and running away won't help you. I think you should talk to Dr. Caravelli and try and direct your virtual worlds to something that looks forward, not backwards. Because you can't change the, no matter how much you may want to."
But I didn't do it, and controlling me, my PersoCom, or the world won't make you your pain go away; it will just remind you, deep in your head, you have no control at all." (prior)
"Have I really been that much of a bitch?" Nora asks, and then rubs at her forehead. "I used to be nicer.. but that was when I was being the heroine. It's hard coming down from that, being.. the rescued. Was I that hard on you during your training? But I can't really apologize for being messed up by all of this. Maybe it's not being able to sleep. I do my rituals because it sets a pace, let's me know a day has passed. I can't turn my mind off anymore and it's driving me a little batty. The men handle it better, damn them. Fred doesn't seem put out at all, and even my Gabriel is supernaturally patient. I'm the least perfect one now. It's.. grating. You picked up some of me in that first transfer, but maybe I got some of you too - young, brash and wanting to fight the world all the time. Wanting to prove yourself. I need a hobby."
Having stood her ground, Tasha decides there's no need to push back any further. To this end, she walks over and takes a seat at Nora's desk, turning the chair to face her and hoping that sitting will help show the aggression is over. "You did appear with my wings, however briefly. However, your siutaition would betrying for anyone -- I certainly don't know how I would handle it. It must be incredibly painful; just the fear of ending up like you almost got me killed, for whatever that's worth. But that's hardly comforting, is it?" Shaking her head at her lack of empathy, Tasha gathers her wits and tries a new approach, offering, "A hobby is a good start. Remmeber, this is a temporary situation. We're doing all we can to remedy this ASAP. You should think about what you'll do in the future. The more you prepare now, the better that future will be. And you may be young enough to do what most people dream of doing: having their childhood back, to make all the right decisions. You can be a hero, No
Nora, a hero of your own future and your own life. And with time and effort, you might be a hero to others again. I've thought you might appreciate leaving us behind, when you have your new life."
"Hah, I fully intend to be the Commander of this ship eventually!" Nora declares. "I'll prepare a ton of notes and lessons for myself, to make sure I don't forget important things. And stuff I can use when I'm a kid. Like.. a sword.. and armor. Maybe I'll even have a harem of cute guys. Being a teenager again with what I know now? I'll rule my age group!" She has a huge grin while claiming all of this, so it's hard to tell if she's being serious or not. "Plus I'll be sober and that will give me even more of an advantage. And I'll have my motorcycle of course.."
"Actually," and here Tasha hesitates, unsure if she should mention this so early, but she presses on anyway, "I had thought that you should be the Commmander some day. So, see? I'm not your enemy, I have great faith in the person you can be." Tasha thinks a moment aboiut the rest, realizing a certain very familliar pattern is emerging. "Maybe you got more of me than I thought? That sounds more like me than you; like the old me, back before all this happened. I'm sorry, if that's true."
"Well.. it's frustrating now, but should be lots of fun later on," Nora says. "I mean, I wasn't really wild as a teenager. But this time, I can be, and get away with it because I'll know more about my limits and such. I suppose for you that might be scary - being all mature and stuff and then running into a younger, crazier version of yourself that seems to be having more fun than you did!"
Tasha can't help but grin a little. "I'm just happy to see you feeling better. But since you asked: yes, I'm afraid, just like you, of the day when I'm no longer in the spotlight. That in having so many people who seem like me, that one day they'll take the stage. You saw that fear in my dream, but at least I know I'll be older and craftier ... " She winks, then leans in to admit, "I'm beginning to feel it already."
"You still look like a teenager," Nora points out, then grins and says, "But Gabriel must be mellowing you out. And now.. just who had you tempted?"
"Oi," Tasha breathes, leaning back and pushing her hairback. "Did I ever tell you, when I first met him, he was the first man to make me feel like I wasn't good enough? Not in social sense, or even in terms of knowledge and experience, but that I just wasn't good enough as a person. He wasn't even trying! This is what happens when you are in a relationship with an alpha." Chuckling, Tasha shakes her head before answering, "Lets see ..," she ticks off on a hand, " ... Captain Rahab, Tomorrow's-Hope, and Scholar Hakeber, in that chronological order. Speaking of which, were you preparing for a date with me?"
"No, I just like to maintain a routine, like I said," Nora claims. "Otherwise I wouldn't bother wearing the towel, now would I?" Again comes the sly grin, as she drops back into gossip mode. "I don't know any of those people, you'll have to describe them.. and why they tickled you! There's nothing to talk about around here, other than betting on if Fred's new helper will ask Mariel on a date or not."
"I'll want to be kept informed about that as well, now ... " Going from finger to finger, Tasha says, "Captain Rahab is an ex-Confederate military, well, captain. I guess I fall easy for captains? He was more of a ... one night stand idea, to use your words. He was very clear involved in the underworld of Elamoore, and politically tainted for having been thought to be a traitor -- which I proved to be otherwise, coincidentally enough. Did I mention he has bug parts? I'm clearly a dirty bird on some level, domesticated or not. Anyway, he was exciting for being absolutely wrong for me, dangerous, and ... I guess a kind of perversion."
Tasha pauses, touching the second finger and waiting to see if Nora has questions.
"Oh, so... the ultimate bad boy," Nora says. "Complete with 'scars'. I bet he broods in dark corner or something. But how'd you even meet someone like that? You aren't getting involved in criminal activities, are you?" she asks, a bit more seriously.
"He is very bad," Tasha agrees, lowering her hand. "Captain Rahab lurks in the Bloody Duffle in a booth that appears to be his and his alone; no one seems to wnat to get involved in his business. As for criminal activities, no, nothing like that. I was introduced to him by Knights Templar Ambassador Riddle Smith, who I assume is a spy. You see, the Confederate ship Phoenix, a restored Garuda-class transport and secret weapon, was on recon when it made long range contact with what we now know is Harmonia. Harmonia attempted to respond to the attention, but the Phoenix's remodeled exterior and inferior technologies couldn't withstand the mazer, and it went down. Long story shirt, they blamed Rahab, and he fell from grace. Miss Smith thought he would be a good warning to keep me from the 'Phantom' as they called it, but as you already know, I didn't heed it."
"I like to visit him now and then, as he reminds me of my old life and he's a lot of fun to talk to. Besides that, he doesn't care what I say -- or don't say -- and I feel like I can let go a bit around him. He won't betray me though, not unless I'm wrong about him," Tasha adds.
"She must not know you very well, or else she really wanted you to find it and this Raehab was the lure," Nora notes, waggling her eyebrows. "Still, that's quite a past for a man to have. Of course, they can't all be bad boys, so tell me about Tomorrow's-Hope. Given the Silent-Ones used to be slaves on Sinai, and you're past dislike for them here on Abaddon, he must be pretty impressive."
"I'm uncertain why she would want me to have the Phantom. Curiosity? Exploration? It would have been easier to just tell me in that case. Unless she knew what it was, and realized my implants could let me interface with, and maybe control, it? But why would anyone want to hand me that much power?" Tasha's head shakes, then she shrugs and grins. "It's probably just coincidence. But anyway, Tomorrow's-Hope. I had actually met him during arrival; he was the Titan pilot that guided me in to the hangar. We've worked together off and on since then, and he was also there when Archon Strength-of-Stones gave me my honorary Silent-Ones name; we had a friendly duel afterwards and it was then that he thought, um, well ... that having sex with someone as strong as he is, an equal, would be like. I was completely surprised, but I was also very touched. He said it much better than I just did, it was very poetic and flattering too. He's really very nice, all things considered. Before that, Archon Strength
Strength-of-Stone's interest and friendliness did a lot to improve my relationship with the Silent-Ones."
"So what is your secret Silent-Ones name then?" Nora prompts. "And this guy sounds.. well, the Silent-Ones put a lot of effort into being role-models."
"Oh, he's an upstanding citizen -- Titan pilot defender and everything. It's just, he's Archon Strength-of-Stone's Titan pilot; the Archon is known as being on of the most friendly and, well, excentric of the Archons, so it makes sense his staff would also fit his personality and politics," Tasha explains. She then lifts her hand and traces a symbol on her forehead before signing the same over her heart: "I am Winged-Gift by the honor of Archon Strength-of-Stones, for valor against a daikaiju in defending the New Elamoorian dam."
"I heard about the monster," Nora says, but then gets an odd look. "Okay, Number One was The Bad Boy, Number Two was The Heroic Gentleman.. but you say Number Three is a scholar? Sorry, but.. you don't seem the type to go for smarts over other qualities."
"Oh thanks. I'll have you know I do appreciate a brain, you know!" Snorting in mock-disgust, Tasha folds her arms, then groans and leans forward to admit, "I know 'Hakeber' sounds like a gray haired, balding human scholar but he ... is a she! Not just a she, either, but Expedition City's foremost scholar on the Progenitor Cult! She's also very cute, short, creamy tan fur and dark parts, and black hair -- with blue stripes!" The young Vartan reaches over and pulls out her datapad, bringing up a picture of the woman inside the Harmonia. "She made the pass at me first. Considering she was tracing my neural tattooing at the time, I would like to add that I am heroic in restraint as well as fighting monsters."
"She made a pass at you?" Nora asks, just to be clear. "She looks the same age as you too.. just a bit Bohemian. So, was having a cute girl flirt with you making you feel.. old.. at all?" the older Karnor asks a bit predatorily, swishing her tail.
Tasha scrunches up her muzzle. "No, it made me feel ... like I really should be not feeling what I was feeling and change the subject before I get myself in trouble. I will admit that she does make me feel a little, a little older in that her freedom reminds me of what I put aside to have a stable relationship and also lead the JEF." Tilting her head, Tasha then admits, "I suppose it does hurt a little. But if I had done what I felt, it'd have hurt more. And it's not like I am old, I just have power and responsibility, and that can be attractive! And I'm interesting. And fun. And smart."
"Or this Hakeber is really freaky and likes the exotic," Nora says. "Does she have any other odd habits?"
"She tends to get sick a lot? I can't fly her anywhere wuthout a nosebleed, and she did have that Silent-One pizza boy -- that's a deliverer of pizza, not a man made out of pizza -- she slept with on her chair when I first met her. I guess she is a bit usual," Tasha admits.
"Huh, you still have one of the Lapi with you, don't you?" Nora asks. "I can only imagine what would happen if she got hold of him. Still, at least you can lech vicariously through your scholar friend now! If you see someone that tempts you, just sic her on 'em!" Nora declares, laughing.
Tasha backs a laugh as well, holding her hands up. "I swear, I attract the oddest people!" She coughs, having laughed a little too hard, then shakes her head, wheezing, "She's just very ... very nice and I need her to ... to help me solve a mystery, not distracted." She takes a moment to catch her breath, then adds more evenly, "She's just helping me solve the Progenitor Cult questions the Melchior inspired, really! Technically she's part of my retinue, in an official expedition."
In a more sobder tone, Tasha adds in admitance, "To be honest, I'm anxious about risking her life. Gabriel's too. A part of me wants to tell them both that I can handle things alone, but I know I need her knowledge, Gabriel's level head and experience, and whatever skills any others bring. It's worry that makes me want to go alone, not sense."
"And who am I to deny others the opportunity to carry out their dreams and explore these worlds? I founded an organization to encourage it, for gods sakes," she finishes.
"Ah, I used to be like that," Nora says. "You feel responsible for them even though you know they're competent enough to get by. Gabriel isn't just level headed, he's a combat veteran - the only one in our crew, really. As for Hakeber.. well, she belongs to the Templars it sounds like, which makes her a bit of an outcast from the way I hear the Knights are treated. Has she done anything dangerous, or just lived in books? And are you taking anyone else that knows their way around Sinai, or going to meet up with someone once you're there?"
"See? Our exchange wasn't one sided -- now I have your worries." After grinning lopsidedly, Tasha answers, "Aaron's coming too, but the rest are up in the air. We're slated to try to meet the Captain-Astromancer in order to gain access to Ark records, and maybe even his blessing. According to Aaron, the Captain-Astromancer canidates all look the same, as does every other canidate and Captain-Astromancer he's ever seen. In a word: clones. He may have a similiar memory to this crew's, giving us an edge and maybe a chance to help a survivor, of a sorts. As for Hakeber, she seems a bit reckless, maybe a little naive and defenseless, but I trust her to at least have sense enough to not get herself stuck in any dangerous situations unduly. Besides, Gabriel and I have been undergoing combat training, so we'll be better equipped to deal with physical threats, keeping Hakeber out of them."
"Of course, there's also the danger of, well, finding what we're looking for; not just damged vessels, native creatures, ghosts and whatever other guardians the targets may have, but also the targets themselves," Tasha confides in a low voice.
"Or finding that there's nothing there," Nora says. "Which.. wouldn't be so bad. Then it's just the story of some well-financed fanatics that got it wrong," she notes, then looks thoughtful. "I only met Aaron a few times, here at the base. I guess if he could deal with you while traveling into dangerous places on Sinai, he can help you deal with Hakeber."
"Your confidence in me is, as always, oh-so-heartening," Tasha says with a wry grin. "And yes, there could be nothing, although that migth mean we're late. Did you know the Kamp has isn't origins with Terra's Progenitor Cult? Their presence in the fleet is not a coincidence, and we suspect they knew about this plan and either were trying to beat the Khattans to the mark, or interfere with them. Further, Hakeber suggests that this group possesses the Origin Marker of Humans -- and that they may have brough it with them."
"Now, something like that would be a find," Nora admits. "A real explanation for their craziness. And a chance to really examine one of those markers with our own equipment."
"Yes. Although it could also mean needing to form ties with them or, in a worst-case scenario, being their enemies. It doesn't seem far-fetched to think a Human supremacist group would be uncomfortable with our own, multicultural, use of the same findings." Scratching her nose tip, Tasha goes on, saying, "The Melchior is apparently equipped to interface with the artifact in some fashion. Why, what will happen, and the results are a complete unknown -- which means I'll need to expose myself to the that danger at some point, if we can recover the correct Marker at all. If something happens ... Well, I think you'll know what to do."
"Nuke 'em from orbit?" Nora asks, ears perked.
"Nuke ... what, us? Me? No, I mean comfort Gabriel if it goes badly. Keep him from self-destructing, make sure he's focused on the future and not on what happened." Tasha looks Nora in the eyes, and says, very seriously, "Mariel can't do it, and Fred's good with people, but he lacks the forceful authority to snap an alpha out of his misery. I don't want to sound grim, but I have learned to make contingencies and plans within plans. You don't think I sat around with Captain Rahab just to drink, do you? He knows he has a contact with us, and we with him ... and that we have things he could want and needs we might have. The same is true for everyone. Care and plan."
"That makes me curious then: what are your final orders for Harmonia in the even that you don't return?" Nora asks.
Tasha's ears flick. "My orders for her will be to live as she sees fit. I can't force her to believe what I tell her, or rather, I won't. Hypocrisy isn't my politic, and I won't treat sentient machines -- sentient life -- differently than organic life. Just hope my time with her at least convinces her that people are worth something, or the New Elamoore may vanish in a matter-antimatter anhiliation sequence."
"But what about her.. feelings?" Nora asks. "We can talk to her via radio, but nobody will be able to visit her, or link up with her like you did. Will she be lonely? Unlike Melchior, she doesn't just deactivate when her pilot is gone."
Tasha pulls in a breath, settling her hands on her lap. "You can visit her directly in this ship. It's my hope she will accept people, and that perhaps she'll accept being a station on which people can live and grow, and also reach out to Sheol and join in their life. I suppose I could also free her to travel as she sees fit, although I'm not sure that's a valid directive. In many ways she's like a child, a child that can only be directed by the holder of the key -- and the only key holder we know of, is me. I've been preparing her to live as an individual, but I don't know what the future will bring."
Tasha chuckles as she finishes, realizing something and shaking her head. "It looks like I rule the world anyway. If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it."
"Well, I can sympathize with Harmonia," Nora says. "Maybe not as much as Mariel does though. She feels trapped the most, since.. well, she doesn't have a lot of memories of freedom to keep her going. My advice is to not get into a situation where you couldn't come back to us. Gabriel can be in charge of that - I'm sure if anyone could pull you kicking and screaming from something it'd be him!"
"Also keep an eye on this Hakeber," Nora adds, wagging a finger. "She may just be playful, but sexual aggression can also be a dominance move. Be sure to pin her down or something - make it clear you're the top girl."
Tasha grins at that. "It's true, if anyone can make me stop, it's him. I guess everything will be fine, won't it? Of course, I still might have to explain Harmonia to the Council, and we've been evading the matter of the Markers with them, as well. I don't plan to set myself up for disaster -- I've tried to retrain myself, believe it or not, because I know in my mind, if not my heart, that I'm not limited to myself. I can't enter uncessary risks because I don't belong to myself. It's easier said than done, though." Tasha pauses, eyeing Nora. "Now you're just trying to get me in trouble! If she gets out of line I'll put her in my pocket, or something!"
"Sure you can do that?" Nora asks. "You've got to be the older, more got-my-act-together one in that relationship - which is still the sort of person you seem most attracted to. Survivors and the very bold."
"Are you suggesting I'm not a survivor nor the very bold? Did I mention the rotbiters? Flying in to a Forbidden Zone in the nost technologically advanced Titan known in this era? My childhood wasn't a high tech paradise, either, you know." Tasha raises a brow, folding her arms. "I think I can handle Hakeber. I just seem passive because I try to work with people instead of taking the easy route of dominance and aggression. Is it so peculiar I'd be attracted to people of the very nature I aspire to?"
"Oh, is that it?" Nora asks, perking up. The she stands, drops the towel, and sashays across the room to plops side-saddle into Tasha's lap. "So... do I tempt you, Tasha?" the older wolf teases, twirling a stray lock of Tasha's hair around her finger.
Tasha's brows shoots up so far it might be ready to lift right up off her head. She sits there, arms folded, staring at nor with an expression somewhere between incredulous and consideration ... and then she opens her muzzle and tries to cmalp it over Nora's!
"Wha!" Nora goes, yanking her head back. "What was that? I'm just teasing, you know. I've sworn off dominance games. Plus we look a bit too much alike.."
Tasha smiles toothily. "I'm not sure, but after I did it, I felt like I always wanted to." Her tail wags as she shifts a little, plopping her head on her hand. "Oh you're teasing, but a little part of you also enjoys nipping at me, just to see if you can get a rise. I'm not oblivious to these suntle power games, you know. I was doing them years before we met, and I took them farther than this." Then, she wiggles her ears, in much the way Silent-Ones do when amused. "But, I know you didn't mean it, even if you did. And besides, I got past the being attracted to you phase weeks ago -- we're too alike to ever stand each other, and it'd be like sleeping with, well, my sister."
"Of course, if it was Mariel instead of me, I bet you'd be thinking on things a bit longer before deciding," Nora claims. "And I'm sure Fred will try to make a pass at you again too. I doubt our robot diplomat will, but I wouldn't rule it out - but that would just be a way to get to Melchior, the sexiest robot around, I imagine!"
"SAINA did say Melchior was better than my meat body. I might even agree. Of course, these days we're really just the same being, even if we're seperate. Come to think of it ..," and here Tasha cocks her head to the side, scratching an ear, " ... why does it seem everyone flirts with me? Is this normal in a command position? Is it just me? I don't mind, but I don't want to convey the wrong impression about who I am or what I do."
"Oh, you haven't quite learned to project the proper vibe yet," Nora says. "You still want people to like you, after all, more than respect you. That'll change, in time, but you're young still, so having lots of friends helps your ego. Then you can use your ego to project a more commanding presence."
"It's all about absolute self confidence," Nora claims. "Once you can fake that, you'll be fine."
"Is that it? I guess I can't be upset then; htese things will come with time, like you said. Now," Tasha waggles her hands, "get off my lap before Gabriel walks in or Fred starts recording."
"Are you saying I'm heavy?" Nora asks, but does get up. "Now if you don't mind, I have to finish pretending to do my grooming and eat breakfast."
"Pretend I wasn't here then," Tasha says with a grin as she stands too. "I guess I'd better go see SAINA and Fred, to round off the strange, strange journey. Have fun with your hair." She takes a moment to dust herself off and adjust her uniforn, then heads for the door.
"Sure thing," Nora says, giving Tasha a pat on the butt as she leaves. "I'd have been the one on top you know," she adds with a wink.
"I so didn't need that image. I think I'm going to live on Sheol, where no one flirts ... or place myself out of time where your evil molocules can't intrude in to my brain." Tasha swats at Nora as she treated, and ends up missing. With a high and a put upon smile, she heads in to the ship to complete this very peculiar homecoming.