In the Mech Bay, Fred frowns at Tasha and pokes her where the scales of her biosuit have been replaced. "How could you let giant.. whatevers.. try to eat you?" the engineer asks, in a rather motherly, guilt-inducing tone of voice. Her regular 'armor' stands on its own nearby, being prodded by SAINA. The little robot has had some modifications, and the nanny-bot is also up on a worktable. "Tasha Is Made Of Bubble Gum," the cybernetic ambassador claims.
"Well, it was a traumatic experience! And I wasn't trying, they just happened along. I dealt with them," Tasha assures her engineer before turning to SAINA and asking, "How have you enjoyed your stay on our ship, SAINA? Are you making friends? Learning new things?"
"I Am In Love, Tasha," the robot claims. "Do You Like Toast? HARMONIA Is Very Pretty. But So Is My Love. She Sings To Me. Communication With ORPHEUS Is Much Clearer Now."
Fred, meanwhile, is removing a few things from Tasha's suit: the flat power cells.
"That's good," Tasha says in her own motherly way, smiling. "And yes, I like toast. Or maybe Nora likes toast. Either way, I end up feeling it. And I'm glad you and Harmonia are friends; she can use more friends." Looking over, Tasha asks, "Do you think what's left will weather the SPF field alright, Fred?"
"I'll want to discharge the individual capacitors, and make a few modifications," Fred notes. "I've got a modified suit you can bring back to Gabriel, too. Just not sure if it'll be quite as comfortable."
"He's a tough old wolf, he'll manage." Looking around a moment, Tasha then asks, "Speaking of holding up, how are you feeling, Fred?"
"Just fine!" Fred says, wiggling his fingers. "Take your suit off so I can discharge and tweak it.. then you can feel me all you want."
"Nora said you might flirt with me; of course, that's entirely expected." Tasha grins, then shrugs and runs a finger down her suit, stepping out of it and handing it off. "Speaking of Nora, does she seem ... different to you? Not as you remember her?"
"My Love Is A Goddess," SAINA claims. "Every Morning And Many Times During The Day The Karnors Pray To Her And Receive Her Blessings."
"Oh, do you mean Harmonia, SAINA? Please remember 'Harmonia' is just a name -- she's not an actual god, no more than I was. It's just that Harmonia is the positive reflection of Enyo," the young Vartan tells tghe even younger machine.
"Well, she always did have a moody streak - it was just hard to see under the Officer Shell," Fred notes, taking the shed suit to another table, and hooking up cables to where the power cells connected. "She complained for days about headaches after you left, and vowed revenge. But that's probably normal."
"My Love Is Not HARMONIA," SAINA replies, and spins around on its (his?) treads. "My Love Is THE BEAST."
"Headaches?" Tasha's ears flick and she waxes contemplative, proping her muzzle on her hand and furrowing her brow. "That's interesting. I wonder if it's true then ... This Nora isn't just Nora Argentine, but myself as well, from the PersoCom corruption. If that's so, then she may be experiencing a syncronicity event, like Dr. Caravelli did with his PersoCom, but because we're not identical, or near enough, the 'corruption' causes confusion and maybe feedback. Hmm."
"The... beast?" Tasha asks, breaking from her thoughts. "Does this beast have a name besides 'The Beast'?"
"Gizmo Calls Her Gemini, Saying She Is Two-Faced," SAINA notes.
"Is that so?
"Have you been having strange Nora dreams or headaches?" Fred asks, and steps over to look Tasha up and down critically.
"Is that so?" The cadet glances to her engineer, then shakes her head. "No, but I do experience dreams on occasion, in which Nora is present and our identities are juxtaposed. Do you happen to know what SAINA is talking about? Two-faced mean could be quite a few of us."
"Oh.. it's going on about Gizmo's modified tank engine, I think," Fred says, shining a light into Tasha's ear. "It produces alcohol and dangerously-strong coffee, he claims."
"I can see why you would pray to it -- I might too," Tasha remarks with a grin, adding to SAINA, "It's always good to be able to share a drink with the one you love, and even better if they get the drinks." She winks, then asks Fred, "Are you expecting my brain to run on power cells, Fred?"
"Actually, I'm pretty sure your implants are powered by your brain," Fred notes. "But I'll do a test on those as well. Oh, and a Nora test now.." And Tasha finds her rear end being groped by a ghost.
"She Sings," SAINA comments.
First she barks a yelp, then she swats at the ghost! "My rear is not the crew recreation area, I'll have you know! First Nora, now you!" To SAINA, she insists, "This is not something you should take after, SAINA."
"Eureka!" Fred says, letting the swat pass through him. "That was almost exactly what I'd expect from Nora. Now, if it was just you, before you met Nora, would you have swatted?"
"Um, well, no, but I have changed a lot since I met you all, and I've been careful to maintain my loyalty to Gabriel," Tasha answers, hesitantly.
"I'll have to experiment and see how Nora reacts," Fred says with determination. "But otherwise you seem healthy. No harm in getting a checkup in Med Bay later though," he notes, then goes back to working on the biosuit. "SAINA has been asking for modifications."
"Dr. Caravelli's PC must love me by now, I'm his most consistent customer," Tasha remarks, grinning more. She the waggles a hand at her clothes and adds, "Not without my clothes I'm not. And, what sort of modifications are we talking about? Nothing dangerous I hope?"
"A toaster so far," Fred says. "We.. uh.. try to keep him away from the bread, but our influence is limited outside of the ship. I think he's trying to emulate the coffee maker and has fixated on breakfast."
"It is the most important meal of the day, and ..," Tasha's ears flick, " ... I don't know why I know that. I suppose if he's to emulate food production, aiming for the top isn't so bad. In a way, it reminds me of other children, always pretending to be something, finding role models from those around them ... It's adorable, really." She smiles.
"He hasn't figured out how not to burn the toast.. or even that toast has a flashpoint where it catches fire," Fred points out. "When he leaves the ship, there's always an escort with a fire extinguisher with him. I think the base personnel have been giving him suggestions too." He holds up the suit, which dangles like any garment - except now there's a very definite zipper running from hip to shoulder.
"I'm sorry I'm not around to help teach him. He really is very much like a child, but we're not exactly the best place to raise children, are we? So much to do, so little time." Tasha steps forward and accepts the suit, zipping it down and stepping in to it. As she wiggles to get it on, she adds, "Perhaps Mariel should have lessons with him? Someone needs to teach him civilized behavior, such as not being a walking fire hazard."
"The Tartarus crew isn't saying anything that would hurt his feelings, or endanger him or others, are they?" Tasha adds, an edge toher voice.
"Mariel may be too kind," Fred notes. "Nora is the one with the authoritarian streak." Now that the table is clear, and Tasha is dressed, he pats the surface. "Come lie down a moment while I connect some wires to your brain."
"It's surprising how iften my day climaxes with that sort of comment," Tasha observes as she walks over and lays down as instructed. "Unfortunately, Nora is quite busy. Mariel could do to learn to stand up for herself and to be more assertive if she's going to survive traveling in her new life. SAINA is also an AI, and Mariel is an AI specialist. It'll be good for her, and besides, she's feeling unengaged."
"Good points," Fred says, turning away to roll some equipment over. SAINA trundles up and touches one of Tasha's interface studs with a manipulator arm. "These Are Your Love Nodes For MELCHIOR," the robot announces.
"Something like that," Tasha agrees, then reaches over to pat SAINA on the head affectionately. "Harmonia too. I love them both."
"At The Same Time?" SAINA asks innocently, just before Fred shoos away the mechanical hand so he can place some sensors on the metallic studs. "He's getting to that grabby age," the Karnor notes with a chuckle.
"I'm a little surprised that he's also getting lude, but given how this crew is getting, not nearly as surprised as I should, be," Tasha admonishes, giving Fred a look before settling back for the scan.
"Well, I'm not sure he equates love with sex," Fred notes, as he fiddles with controls. "Frankly, as a machine, he'd probably think sex was some sort of data-exchange protocol. I've talked with him enough to get the idea that for him, love means feeling connected and wanting to share more experience with someone else. It's another form of learning."
"He doesn't seem to differentiate between sapient and non-sapient very well yet either - but that's also about what you'd expect from a two-year-old child," Fred adds, then asks, "Are you feeling anything weird? Hearing sounds, seeing lights, anything at all?"
"Oh." Tasha blinks a moment, then corrects, "Then I apologize for accusing you; I'm sorry. Sometimes the balancing act and politics get the better of me." She drums the fingers of her right hand on the bed, then answers, "No. Nothing unusual."
"Okay, I think that confirms that your nano-circuitry is fused and inert," Fred says. "Random voltages aren't getting through to your brain, either. So you should be safe on Sinai, in terms of your brain getting fried or something. Without the proper equipment connecting on the outside, it's just some non-magnetic metal in your head."
"That's good. I'd hate to arrive at the start of our mission just to collapse," Tasha says. Shifting on to her side, she then asks, "Fred, do you think I'm becoming less and less like I used to be? Sometimes I feel like the world is leaving me behind, even as I fight for the future. Nora is becoming more like me, and, well, you'll all evenually grow up again and leave me- us, behind. I'll be the old one then, the boring one that talks about authority and responsibility; is it normal to feel a bit of ... regret?"
"At your age?" Fred asks, after he sterilizes the probes he used. "Tell me, Tasha, when did you think you were going to become an adult?"
"I never really though about it, but the next thing I know Nora is backing down and calling me mature, and I'm lecturing everyone on how to behave," Tasha answers, frowning.
"See, I used to think it came with a certificate," Fred says. "When they handed me my diploma, then I'd be an adult, and gain whatever mystical wisdom and insight that allowed adults to do what they do! But you know what? It didn't happen like that. No wisdom, no insight.. just BAM! Adult responsibilities, just like that, with no clue how to navigate the adult world. I thought I was broken."
"I can sympathize with that feeling," the young Vartan admits. "At the very least, I can say there's nowhere else I'd rather be, or would rather do. I think seeing that dream of the Empress made me realize that not so long from now, I'm going to be the oldest, aside from Gabriel, and it made me panic. It feels a little like doors are closing on me; even though they're not doors I want to open, seeing the options fade is very unnerving."
"You're still just a kid, really," Fred says, and pinches Tasha's cheek. "You know what? There's no such thing as an adult. Nobody knows how to do it: we all just fake it! It's what we do but not necessarily who we are. Well.. some of us become real adults I suppose, but the rest of us just get older. You don't have to give up being young to still act like an adult, is what I'm getting at: you're allowed to have fun, and treat your worries and responsibilities like a suit of heavy armor that you can still take off once in awhile and stretch out."
"Hmm," murmurs Tasha, who rolls back and slides her hands under her head. "It is fun taking an evening to drink with Rahab or Hakeber, and I do enjoy those times when I can pilot without needing to. The Silent-Ones can be a lot of fun when you give them a chance, too. Now that I think about it, it's not Elamoore I have trouble with, but here." Glancing over, she admits, "Since I stepped in the ship it's been a long stream of weirdness and problems. You all have a right to have problems, of course, but I think it put me on the defensive. Add-in Nora trying to not-so-subtly influence me, then showing just how much like the old me she's becoming, it's almost like I'm under attack here. For a moment, I missed Elamoore. Maybe all this time-turning, multiple self, culture clash is getting to me?"
Tasha sighs. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to vent about my problems. I'm the last one on this ship who should be complaining," she adds, head shaking. "Just forget about it -- I can manage."
"Well, I'm not Remiel, to be analyzing you," Fred notes, leaning over the top of the table to look upside-down at Tasha. "But really, you're seeing things compressed, since you haven't been here to experience them when they happened. It's normal. I felt the same whenever I visited home from school. Pressure! Everything waiting to fall on me! But.. eh, it was really just that life happens whether I'm there to see it or not, and when you intersect again it seems overwhelming. You probably feel that way about going home.. well, your original home, not here. It'll seem like you're walking on eggshells, waiting for the hammer to fall, or worried about saying the wrong thing, bringing up the wrong memory.. but in the end, it's just home and family. No monsters or bombs or traps, but people that love you and are glad to see you again - and want to share all the stuff that you missed."
"You'ld do very well preteind to be Remy," Tasha admits, grinning. She reaches up to pat the side of teh man's head. "That's it exactly, I guess? I'm not used to having so many places to return to, and my mother was never dramatic/ She'd say what's-what and that would be. We Vartans are very straigh tforward as a people, so I guess I can't be surprised when I'm a bit uncomfortable with all the naunce, not to mention having it /ambush/ me. To be honest though, I /am/ really worried about seeing my mother again. I mean, look at me -- /listen/ to me. I've changed so much even I don't recognize me some times, and I've even taken to working with mages. I'm afraid she'll reject me; find a reason in all that's different to think i've betrayed her, and maybe I have."
"I don't know a lot about Vartan families," Fred admits, but smiles and taps Tasha on the nose. "But: you aren't a normal Vartan, are you? What challenges did you pose just by being born? What battles did your mother fight to protect you? Do you really think a woman strong enough to go through all of that for you would reject you because you got an education?"
"No, I suppose she wouldn't," Tasha admits, laying her ears back. "My mother fought beak and talon for me, and even when she was mad, she still was never really that mad. Even when we fought. Especially when we fought." The young woman shakes her head. "Maybe I'm the one afraid of changing; still afraid of it, but it's normal, like you said, isn't it? I should just focus on the mission and remind myself things will happen as they do, and it's not worth worrying until there's a real problem. Again."
"Are you afraid of how you see your mother now?" Fred asks. "That seems a very Remiel think to ask. Like, are you afraid that you won't be able to accept your mother anymore? Have you gotten too big, so she seems small? But you don't have much arrogance left in you anymore. Are you supposed to be all blustery and braggy? Or should you just run up and hug her, and tell her you've missed her?"
"Well I can safely say i don't look down on her," Tasha assures Fred. "After all the work I've been doing to bring people together and to help build a better future for as many people as I can, I don't feel very much like looking down at anyone." Pulling in a breath, Tasha shakes her head and then admits, "I think what I'm really afraid of is the first word. I know the second I open my mouth, she'll know I've changed, and maybe even be confused that I'm really her Tasha at all. With everything that's happened, with all the memories in my head, the vocabulary I have, I wonder if I'll forget something. If she'll think I'm not the person she knew, and I don't just mean that I've grown up. Nora, she's not the person she was. And, neither am I. I know she's my mother, but I can't be sure I'm her child, except that I have the memories and the body -- if that makes sense? I'm afraid she'll think I've changed significantly enough that she will suspect something happened to me, or that I'm the same face, bu
t not the same person. Or, something. It's hard to articulate."
"It's normal, trust me on that," Fred says. "She'll understand, because she knows that life happens to you whether she's there or not, and all of the changes will fall on her all at once when you get home. I think my mother secretly looked forward to that. To knowing I could survive on my own without her, become my own person, all that stuff that mothers hope for once they become mothers. I doubt your's will be any different! What's her name? Think she'd find me charming? If she would, then clearly she's a woman with her head firmly on her shoulders and can handle anything!"
Tasha barks a laugh, and a loud one at that. By the time she stops laughing she's wiping her eyes. "Ah, I needed that. You're probably right, I'm worrying about nothing. I even got her gifts; she'll probably forget I exist after I open the bag." She chuckles more, then shakes her head. "Ah, you always know how to cheer someone up, Fred. I'm sure she'd like you -- you have my permission to flirt with her when you're old enough. Her name is Desdamona, but everyone calls her Desdi. She runs the Fallen Friend, which is a little ironic now, isn't it?"
"What an unusual name for a tavern, although hers.. has a touch of danger and sensuality to it," Fred says, as if describing a wine. He also glances aside to Tasha, and asks, "You don't mind that I'm hooking up with your PersoCom in VR every so often, do you?"
"Well ... " Tasha eyes Fred, peering up at him and cocking her head to the side. After several seconds of scrutiny, she admits, "No, I suppose I don't. It just feels a little dirty on my end, a twin that's taking my face and doing what I wouldn't. It would help if she had her own name and identity, because right now it feels like she's me in a sense, and that I'm being forced to do something I would otherwise do not. Plus I'm afraid it gives the wrong image, and I don't want future crew members associating that me with this one, you know? Besides that, she's also like my child, so I feel protective even as I conflate her with myself."
"Well, all I can say is Gabriel's pretty lucky to have the real thing," Fred claims. "And I hope you don't bite him as much."
SAINA asks, "Biting Is Love? Mother Is Love? Love Is Not Complicated, But It Is Confusing."
Tasha laughs all over again, then holds up a finger. "I can't promise or reveal anything," she teases. Blinking after, she then glances at SAINA, "You know, some times I envy his electronic brain. He's already figured out what took me eighteen years to figure out ... " Her head cocks tot he side, and she blinks, suddenly realizing something, "That reminds me, I'm going to be nineteen in a few days. Can you feel young and old, at the same time?"