While Melchior and the shuttle are being unloaded from the Dainty Mauler, Tasha finally sees the other Silent-One passenger. He's only slightly less beefy than Lonevigil, but his stance is more relaxed than military. He also dresses in emerald tones in contrast to the mecha pilot's crimsons. There's a crowd growing at the edge of the airfield, waiting to see what the Titanians have brought this time, but no signs yet of any official Silent-Ones greeting.
For her part, Tasha remains with her fellow JEF officers as she awaits the offloading of her own Titan. With the great machine carrying a special -- not to mention living -- cargo, she's especially apprehensive about ensuring all goes well. She's also used to disembarking the Dainty Mauler by now, and so has shifted from excitement and experience to focusing on work.
"What do you make of our visitors?" She asks Gabriel as she cranes her neck to watch the shuttle be lifted through the sky. "Happy to be back?"
"The Silent-Ones?" Gabriel asks. "The big one seemed stoic. Should fit in fine with the ones here on Abaddon. And it'll be nice to see the base and Belle again."
"The base ... That's right ... " Tasha bites her lip a moment, chewing on it for a little longer. "Well," she says at length, "it can't be helped, right? It's the best place to train and prepare crew members and JEF ABaddon personnel."
"We also have a lot of stuff to deliver to Fred," Gabriel says, as the loaded shuttle is set down onto the field.
"Fred, yep. Lots to do," the young woman agrees as the grapple raises again to fetch and deliver the Melchior. "And I have a few side-trips planned while I'm here. I can't stay too long though; Who knows what Kaa will get up to in my ship. Besides, I'm worried about them and a ship needs a leader, even if it's just me. I might need to consider getting a permanent captain for times like these."
"What sort of trouble could Kaa possibly get into?" Gabriel asks as he checks over the shuttle. "We'll need to call Harmonia for a rendezvous. Need to conserve fuel for the shuttle if we're going to launch that node as a satellite. What other things do you need to do on Abaddon?"
"Kaa is a big pain in the butt, it's why I like him! He's trouble, and daring. If I don't keep him busy he'll find ways to keep himself busy." Turning from the lifting show, Tasha faces Gabriel and spreads her hands. "I told you about going to Titania; There's an object there that I think would be very useful in understanding the ship, parts of myself, and other things besides. I won't feel too bad about it either, considering one of the Knight Captains though it'd make a wonderful bomb. Cleaning up leftover dangerous things is what they do, so it's all in the right spirit. Aside from that, I need to um ... Well, that is, Yue and I need to have a look at a certain book, and the owners may not agree exactly. So! We'll just do it quietly. It's for a good cause. Other than thaaaat ... " She turns her head, gazing out across the desert and rubbing her neck, "I should say hello, shouldn't I? Relax? Class?"
"Have you given any thought to where we should thaw her out?" Gabriel asks. "I thought Tartarus would be safe enough for it. We've got the Belle's medical facilities for it."
"That's true, though I wasn't sure you weren't serious about letting Treachery and Old Age do it. Or did you mean the alcohol? Both important, delicate packages really!" The hybrid woman gives a wink, turning back towards Gabriel. "So much to keep track of, I almost forgot about the parts and the satellite. The little things are slipping away, in the shadow of the big."
The big thing casting a shadow is let go by the crane grappler, and Melchior is standing there in his all his disguised glory.
"And speaking of big shadows, should I board? Do you want to intercept Harmonia in route to the base, or park here for a few days so we can load everyone and everything and leave in one pass?" Tasha then asks as she walks over to the statuesque machine, hopping up and sitting on his taloned foot.
"We just need to set up a pickup point to meet Harmonia," Gabriel says, and then grins. "You think I'd give up being able to fly this baby in an atmosphere?" he asks, patting the side of the shuttle.
Tasha mirrors the man's grin. "I was just about to say something about that! I know how you like speed in flight -- it's one of your more Vartanish qualities really. So, of course, I approve." She blows the man a kiss from her talonly throne, then notes, "Shojo should be ready to go in short notice, but Hake and Katie may take more time -- especially because they haven't been asked yet."
"Going to be asking before you go on your little library run, or after?" Gabriel asks.
'Hmm' goes Tasha, head tilting. "Maybe I should ask after in case we cause a political disaster? If I'm going to be exiled or thrown in jail, I'd really prefer not to bring Katie and Hake with me. Well, I mean, I would like the company but they won't appreciate it and I do have to keep Katie's status in mind. Also, the more people who can rescue me, the better!" And then she smiles.
"Good. So be sure to let me know which dome you plan on infiltrating," Gabriel notes, and opens the shuttle hatch. "I'll go ahead and call Harmonia. You check on Mel's special cargo, all right?"
"Nurse Tasha is on the job!" Tasha gives a salute before sliding off the Titan's talon. In short order she's in the air and then on board.
The status lights on the suspension capsule are still green, and it has plenty of battery life left. They built these to double as escape pods. Very compact ones.
Tasha gives the stasis pod a good pat before settling in to the pilot's chair. She leans forward, the movement so reflexive that she scarcely think about connecting her brain to a giant machine anymore. "Don't worry Yue, you'll be out of there in no time. Then you can see Primus! Rusted, dusty, filled with monsters, Primus."
The Titan wakes up, filling Tasha's senses with views of the outside. "Shall I initiate flight systems warmup, Tasha?" Mel asks.
"Please do, Mel. Also note that we have a passenger, so we'll have to take precautions against jarring flight that might shift and damage the pod. Aside from that, how are you doing? Are you mad I chose to associate with the Titanians after all?" It's a conversation carried out in Tasha's head, a mind-to-computer interaction. Even so, she sill gestures, eve after propping her head up on a hand.
"I cannot get mad or angry, Tasha," Mel claims. "You are using the Titanians for your own ends. That excuses much."
"I don't exactly use them. I do like them, after all. I know they use me, and I use them, but beyond that I think we have an understanding that's growing with every interaction. At least, I feel that with their Captain. I'm still not sure if Bumper likes me or was actually hoping I died out in the swamp," explains the pilot, who makes a note of outside conditions as she interacts. "And you say much. But, why do you care? Is it your Khattan programming? Or something like Horus would say?"
"The Titanians are an unknown variable," Mel explains. "No equation that includes them has a predictable outcome. It is necessary to act in the moment when dealing with them, which is always risky."
"/Acting in the moment is what I /do./ Well, usually. Not as much as /before,/ but still. It's part of why I like them. But, yiu know, I feel like I understand them on some level/ Not /well,/ but there's a connection there. I feel comfortable with them. Anyway,/" the young woman lifts a hand and waggles towards the screen that only they can see, "/Gabriel is waving his arms in a 'contact made' sort of way, so we'll be departing soon. Between you and me, I'm actually not looking forward to returning to the /Bellerophon.//"
There's a ping, and coordinates appear in the navigation screen, along with a time.
"Do you feel you have cheated on her by acquiring another ship?" Mel asks.
"And there it is! Well, nothing to do about it. Smile, get the job done, an-" The young woman suddenly pauses at the question, her expresion immediately sinking. She heaves a sigh and flops back in her chair, running her hands over her face and through her hair. "//Yes, that's part of it. I feel like I failed all of them somehow. That they don't need me, that the family we were trying to build fell apart, and it's my fault. Or, our fault. The more I go back there, the more I feel that spectre lurking over me -- and I don't mean Fred and Nora."
The engines begin their telltale hum, as air is sucked in and turned to plasma. "Is the spectre yourself?" Mel asks. "Course plotted, ready to launch."
"The sky beckons, lets not keepit waiting." Willing the machine forward, Tasha directs the Melchior to walk down the landing strip and away from the crowds, not wanting to roast anyone on her first day back. "And maybe that spectre is me. I was a lot newer to all this back then and Nora and I had problems. I felt it was just better I stayed away from her. Then Fred sleeps wth my PersoCom without asking me, and it feels like Blackwings all over again. I don't know what he was thinking, probably not malice? But it made me uncomfortable. Gabriel's uncomfortable too, with Gabe around. It's a ghost she that doesn't need us, even if it does."
After launch, Mel asks, "Your PersoCom is you, isn't it? Do you see AI as incapable of making their own choices?"
"She's me and not me. We stopped being each other after the split; She didn't get mauled by Abaddon, or get her own ship, or any of that and I don't know what she's up to. I'm still a little disturbed she even exists, since due to a mixup she was activated without me really agreeing to it. Or, did I? I feel like I didn't, but maybe I'm wrong. Either way, one more thing to be uncomfortale about. And besides, they have a 'me' now, they don't need another one."
"Why would you suppose that one is enough?" Mel asks. "Do you experience the memory-merge effect when you get closer, like Captain Akkers does?"
"No. I suppose it's just easier to assume that, since it's convienent. Then again ... " Another heaved sigh, this time Tasha closing her eyes after and dropping her head back as before. "Mariel didn't forget the 'real' me. I can't help but think she chose to volunteer because I was in the tank, to keep me company or so she wouldn't be alone. Mariel's the one who has had it worst, I feel guilty I wasn't there for her more. It's just I've been so busy. I can't be everywhere, and there are so many people now. I went from being alone to so many.//"
"I is difficult to be in many places at once," Mel agrees. "Or sometimes only one place. Will you synchronize with your PersoCom then, so that you will have the experience of having been there while you were gone?"
At the question, Tasha shakes her head. "No," she answers firmly. "I'm me. I've been out here, for better or for worse. Whatever the case is, I'm the me that's out here. I'm not Nora or PersoCom me. Let her have her life, and I'll have mine, and we can each have the rewards or the guilt in turn. Maybe some day, we can talk about it all."
The red landscape passes below, with the shuttle nearby.. doing the occasional roll. "Am I being too intrusive?" Mel asks. "There is much that has happened while I have been sleeping. Do you still trust me, Tasha?"
"Mel ... " Tasha utters, frowning and glancing away from the screen in her mind to the black superstructure of the cockpit -- the closest she can come to looking her machine in the face. "Do I really sound that bad?" She bites her lip, then answers, "To tell you the truth, and to be honest about it, I'd say not as much as I used to. You saved my life, and I know it. I know it's unfair of me. Ever since I detected Ser Heraphel, though, I've hesitant -- and it's just gotten worse from meeting actual Khattans. It's not just that either, I'm suspicious of most everyone these days. I dn't trust like I used to, I don't have the same crusading message. I just do the best I can, and I'm more aware of all the monsters. And there are so many monsters."
"I understand," the AI says. It's quiet after that, aside from the sound of the air and engines.
Silence is supposed to be peaceful, Tasha thinks as she rides alone without Mel's voice to speak to her. She feels anything but peace, however. Deep down, she wonders if she hasn't just lost another place she thought she belonged. "The one who changes," Lord Yama echoes in her head. "Sometimes you run away from what you had been running too." The memory only makes it all worse.
The silence is broken a dozen minutes later. "We are about to enter Harmonia's control range," Melchior reports.
"Got it," Tasha replies, without much in the way of emotion or connection. She's since turned inward, mulling over her own thoughts and the complexities of life. While ready to land, she's tuned out of life until she's needed.
Things are largely automated from that point. The engines power down as Harmonia's tractor beam takes hold of the Titan, guiding it into her dorsal bay. It looks like falling into a giant pocket-watch, ticking away the centuries. It doesn't last long though. The gold-and-brash arches of the hangar replace the red ground and pink sky.
It's one of the few times in memory Tasha can recall being glad to exit the Melchior. She lands on the deck and doesn't look back, instead heading straight for the shuttle after it lands. "Have fun?" She asks, brows up but with only the hint of a smile.
Gabriel stretches, and grins. "It was good to feel the air again," the Karnor admits. "That's the problem with moving up the chain of command.. you don't get to do the really fun stuff as often."
"Good thing I'm at the very bottom then. If you do well, I may even demote you some day!" Tasha's thin smile grows a little, becoming more genuine, as she watches her mate's excitement. "So, what should we be doing?"
"Anything we couldn't do on the Titanian ship," Gabriel says. "At least until we get in range of Tartarus. We should probably let them know we're coming."
"I guess that means it's time for Captain Tasha. With any luck, Eli can take over the role soon. For now, me. You can stay here to help oversee things, since I can telepresence myself here from the interface using a ProgMat avatar," the young woman notes as she turns to gaze out across the deck to the bridge concorse. "I'll handle letting them know. I know you want to be near your new toy!"
"Hey, you are welcome to pose sexily on the nosecone whenever you want," Gabriel offers.
"For posters, right? Join the JEF, see Tasha poe on a nosecone?" Tasha stucks her tongue out, then begins heading off on her way, walking backards as she does. "Warn me if you have me painted on the nose cone, won't you? Or ask me to do it!" And with that she winks again before she's off in earnest. It's a long walk.
The great clockwork dome is as Tasha left it, with the golden articulated pilot chair waiting for her.
Inwardly hoping this second connection doesn't result in anotehr soul-searching, soul-aching conversation, Tasha makes her way to the pilot's seat and drops herself in to it. "Hi, Harmia," she simply says out loud, trying for the fine line between friendliness and distance.
The connection is made, and Harmonia plays a little tune that sounds like wind-chimes. "Greetings, Captain," the ship announces. "Do you have any instructions for me?"
"We'll have a bunch to do in the hangar -- refueling, recharging, modification of some equipment and so on. Immediately though, I need you to connect me with the Bellerophon so I can let them know we're coming," Tasha explains, her head once again resting on her hand in a apparently bored -- but inwardly reflective -- pose. "Gabriel can explain what needs to be done in more detail, so establish a presence with him for explaination. I may need to telepresence down there as well."
"Attempting link now," Harmonia replies. There some digital noise, and then the familiar voice of Nora saying, "Hello Harmonia, this is Bellerophon." There are some skips here and there. Harmonia's communication system has more power than the Tartarus base relay.
"Hi Nora, it's me," Tasha greets her long time counterpart, sounding more tired than she'd have liked even in thought. "We're inbound. I'm sending our schedual now. Let Fred know we have what he needs."
"Wow, you're actually coming in person?" Nora asks. "About time! What else did you bring us from the Big Black? Damn, I should have given you a list of my favorite authors and bands. I'm sure they're still relevant after six-thousand years. How'd Gabriel do out there? Melancholy or excited or just 'professional'?"
"/Yep, you're getting the real me. I've been busy, but you know that./" Wondering if that sounded to haughty, despite her factual tone, Tasha adds, "/It's just been very /complicated./ I may not be around much in the future either, so, well ... Yah. Um. Gabriel. He was excited, I think. He likes his new shuttle-toy. The /Dainty Mauler/ entertained him, but it entertains /us all./"
"He's bringing back a shuttle? It'd be nice to fill one of Belle's bays again.. God, did that sound dirty to you? It did to me as soon as I said it," Nora says. "How's Eli? You'll be sure to upload your adventures while you're here, right?"
"Oh, what we brought you ... Here I'll transmit the inventory. It's easier than listing it all," Tasha adds a second later, and sure enough incomes a shakey collection of data.
"I'll pass it to Fred.. looks like you found everything.. and a hypernode?" Nora asks. "I didn't think those worked out here anymore. That's big news if it does. Your PC will definitely want that info."
"Dirty ... " In the funk that she's in, Tasha realizes she didn't even catch the innuendo until Nora pointed it out. She laughs, albiet belatedly and without her usual gusto. "Oh, yes, a shuttle. Um, I'm not sure about uploading. Eli is fine, he's back on the ship keeping an eye on things. Fred ... Fred, yah. They work, or so we think. The spy thinks so, anyway."
"Spy? What spy?" Nora asks, sounding a bit more serious. "Are we being spied on? I mean, by spies we don't know?"
"There's always spies. Spies everywhere. I think I might be a spy, but don't tell anyone," Tasha explains, her head swapping from one hand to the other. "Miss Riddle is a Terragen agent. I also brought another one, she's in stasis in, um, Mel but she's not listed on the manifest for obvious reasons."
"Is that why Eli is still with the Titanians?" Nora asks. "What's he keeping an eye on? You're bringing us a human then?"
"The Titanians?" Tasha considers for a moment, then shakes her head as she realizes the problem. "No, not the Titanians. Eli's on the Dark Horse, my ship. Gabrield did ... " She was going to say " ... tell you about my ship?" but immediately realized that it might cause resentment, and so, scrambling, Tasha continues with a somewhat sloppy in haste, "Um, right the Dark Horse. He's on that. It's um, it's a ship out ... there. Right! A human. A psychic human."
"Is it a Terran ship then? Is that why you've got a Terragens agent?" Nora asks. "And psychic? Seriously? They actually tried breeding for that after we left?"
"A lot happened, apparently. The Karnor we, um, scaled back. I'll ... " hesitating, Tasha wonders if she really does want to talk about things in person. Part of her would rather just wait outside the ship, or sit on the roof unless needed -- but she knows she'll never get away with it. And so ... "We should talk in person, I guess. It's complicated. But psychic, definitely. the ship, um, my ship is Tnuctipin. A Hammership. It's ... It's also complicated."
"I've never heard of that species," Nora says. "Maybe PC Tasha does.. she practically lives in the database you recovered from Orpheus. I'm guessing you aren't coming in on the Picnic Basket this time, so I'll alert the base to receive you in Belle's hangar."
"Thanks Nora," Tasha offers, pushing to make it sound genuine. "We'll see you soon. I'll be connected to the bridge until we arrive, in case you need to reach us."
Tasha and Melchior land first, just in case they're needed if something goes awry with the shuttle. Gabriel insists on landing it inside Bellerophon himself, using the upper, empty Titan bay. It makes for a lot of wind inside the structure. There are points near the upper rim that are still being repaired - collateral damage from firing the ship's linear cannon against Tesla.
The young pilot's sentinel duty is a quiet one. After the Melchior's brief but cutting response to her admittance, occupying the cockpit has become a distinctly uncomfortable affair. With the prospect of boarding the Bellerophon also close at hand, Tasha finds herself between a rock and a hard place emotionally as well as socially. She wonders how a machine without emotions can sound so hurt in monotone, and what to say to the people she left behind. If Gabriel wasn't aboard the craft, she almost might wish for a disaster -- disasters she knows how to deal with.
The shuttle does make it though, settling into the upper birth for a nearly perfect touchdown. Only then do the various crews return to duty, having been waiting in bunkered areas and emergency vehicles. With that excitement out of the way, Tasha can finally see how much of the missing engine cowling has been replaced on Bellerophon, although without the smooth look of the rest of the hull.
The inspection involves the Melchior walking atop the significantly larger vessel and leaning over to have a look. It gives her something to do as she makes her way to the forward, aft-of-bridge hatch for embarkment since the Titan Bay is currently occupied. This allows her a dock, if a crude one. "Hokay, begin cooldown. I'll be disembarking when we reach the hatch," she notes without sentiment.
"Good luck, Tasha," Melchior says. "Do not be afraid to apologize or face things which make you uncomfortable."
"If only I knew how," Tasha remarks to Mel in turn. "Like now. I don't even know what to say now. I'll think of something though ... I always do. See you soon, Mel." It sounds tired, but at least it sounds like an emotion.
Once they've arrived, Tasha exits. After arrivibg at the hatch, she enters the access sequence and then slips in to the ship, arriving aft of the bridge.
The ship looks different. The bare walls of the upper deck are now covered in mosaic artwork, apparently depicting scenes from the various worlds accessible through the Gateway network. It even smells a bit fresher. The lighting has been tuned to closer match Terran sunshine as well. The bridge doors are open, revealing the familiar view - along with Nora sitting at the communications console. She looks different somehow, which probably shouldn't be possible. Maybe it's the uniform.
Knowing Nora would have been alerted to the access, Tasha hesitates only a moment before pushing herelf to walk on to the bridge. "Hi," she greets the other woman in what she hopes sounds friendly but not too friendly in an effort to cut a fine line. She isn't at all sure how things will go, and while Nora sounded friendly she's had it out with the woman on many occassions and also noted her instability. Given her own problems, the hybrid tries to cover her bases but not also create new problems along the way. "It's been a while."
Nora turns and smiles, then her eyes go a bit.. wide. "What the hell have you done to yourself, Tasha?" she asks. "Your hair.. your teeth.. The tips of your fur don't quite match the roots, either. Is.. are you rebelling against me somehow with this look?" the projection asks, and covers her muzzle. "Are there piercings?"
"Uhhhhhh," goes Tasha, who had totally forgotten how much her appearance has changed since last she was on the Bellerophon. So worried had she been about social problems, the complexities of family, existential problems, politics and galactic threats that even her outlandish appearance had fallen to banal memory. It takes her a second to even process the question, and another to formulate a response. "Well, maybe?" She offers, thinking maybe Nora has it and not thinking fast enough maybe she shouldn't have admitted it. "Um, well, I needed a disguse, because 'Karnor-Vartan' is the kind of think that gives Trade Lords nightmares. Sooo ... so ... I was a Titanian. For a while. And, well, it was harder to return than I expected. People liked it, and uh, so did I, I guess so ... Here I am."
There's some shaking. Is Nora suppressing a giggle. "You so remind of.. uh.. something I did as a teenager, never mind," the ghost-Karnor notes, then gets up and gives Tasha a hug. "Welcome back. I was worried! And here it sounds like you've been out having fun. Did you glue the teeth in and then not know how to get them out?"
Tasha leans away a little when hugged, ears shooting up and back like she might be expecting to be bit at any moment. When it becomes apparent she's not, she slowly eases in, then finally hugs back. "Um, thanks. It's, uh, it's good to be back?" She wonders if that sounded as uncertain as she thinks it did. "I've just been, um, very busy. A lot has happened, and I've learned a lot. I'm, um ... I ... " She bites her lip, then turns and looks very interested in a nearby readout -- in reality trying to hide her face. "I'm sorry I've been ... er ... Away. So long. Um, thanks for worrying about me?"
Recalling there's actually more she's supposed to be addressing in the mire-soup that is friendly reacquaintance, the hybrid woman adds belated, "I asked for easy removal." A pause, then, "Titanians think easy removal is, uh, "yah, pull toof out! Yanky yanky.""
Nora laughs as she lets Tasha go. "Oh.. that sounds just like a friend I had.. Blah, I have to stop being so nostalgic!" she claims, flapping her arms for a moment. "Your cabin is like you left it.. you've probably noticed some changes in the ship already though. One of the Karnors on the base did the mosaics. Can you believe it? They're all actual little ceramic tiles glued in place. I've never seen someone do that before."
"Oh. Neither have I," Tasha notes with a hint of casual interest, trying her hand at awkward small talk now that she's stumbled her way through awkward greetings. "Um, my room? Oh, you kept it? You didn't have to, I mean, it's not like I'm around anymore. You all probably forget about me anyway, don't you? If you need the room just ... " She waggles her hands off to the side. "Just put it all in a box somewhere. Actually, I should take it with me ... " Then she scratches her nose and eyes a particular bit of deck.
"What? It's not like we've got a shortage of rooms," Nora says. "Besides, we couldn't forget you. Especially with your PC always finding something and asking us about it. You are really quite obsessive in the absence of physical distractions, did you know that?"
"I can believe it," mutters Tasha, who can. She looks up at the strangely positive figure that is Nora and stares at her for a second or two before asking, "You're really happy to see me?" as if suspecting a conspiracy.
"You sound surprised," Nora says. "Eli is off in outer space, Gabriel and Remiel are usually busy in the Pit, and you're running all over the place. There are long stretches where the only person here that's alive is Mariel, and she's still in a tube."
"Since we can't leave the ship.. we tend to live vicariously through you guys," Nora admits. "I'm really jealous of Eli and Remy and Gabriel, too, since their ghosts get to integrate their experiences every so often."
"Sooo ... It's because I'm excitement?" Tasha asks, sounding, if anything more positive for finding the 'hidden agenda.' Inwardly she also wonders if she isn't being overly hard n both Nora and herself, but she quickly reminds herself how rocky things have been between herself and her counterpart. "That makes sense. I mean, we never quite got along, so ... I was surprised. I mean, I figured you all resented me for running off and leaving you behind. I mean, I'm sure the ship resents me too, right? We were all supposed to be together, and look how Tasha messed that up. Now she's everywhere ... Even found a new ship. I mean, entertainment. That makes sense."
"We also worry about you," Nora says. "You're still my little sister. So of course we don't always get along. That's normal," the woman claims, as they peruse the murals. "And I get stir crazy. Things have been on and off with my Gabriel. Fred has his moods. Your PC goes crazy with conspiracy theories every so often. It's tough without Mariel, too. I know it's silly to depend on pack hierarchy roles when we're all sapient, rational beings.. but I guess we still feel them, deep down."
"Oh," is Tasha's profound reaction to the admittance in full, although her inner reaction is far more complicated. So complicated that it allows for little in the way of reaction as she chew on Nora's words a moment. A length she offers more, asking, "You worry about me? I thought you'd be happy if I went and got myself killed. Maybe I'm miss-remembering? My memories are hazy from a while back, from the head injury. I wasn't sure you ever wanted me to be your sister, so that's on, too?" The hybrid woman bites her lip again, then looks up and around, turning slowly in place. "I always felt like I betrayed this place. Failed Layth, ran away. I didn't think you needed or wanted me around, that you were better off with me gone. And Fred and I had our problem, so it was easier just not to dealw ith it. I had gods to deal with! It was just .... Just easier, to forget ... " Her head lower, then tilts, "But I guess I'm looking for problems everywhere these days. There's so much to deal with, and the spies
spies ... the politics. Easier to think about the sky than the ground."
"It sounds more like you forgot about us," Nora says, and puts an arm around Tasha's shoulders. "In your old life.. insults and grudges just lasted forever, didn't they? But real anger doesn't last. You can make yourself believe anything about what other people feel if.. if you don't talk to them. We both have tempers. That doesn't mean every time we lose it we have to burn the bridges because we can never forgive or reconcile or.. whatever.. because we can't see how. There's no formula, you know. No step-by-step manual. I've learned that letting things fester just.. makes them more entrenched in your mind."
As Tasha listens, she nods her head. At length Nora can feel the tension leave her shoulders, and by the end of her heart-to-heart speech the young adventurer has given in and simply laid her head on her sister's shoulder.
"Thanks," Tasha says in a quite voice, heartfelt. "Sometimes I forget. I think, sometimes, if you all weren't here to remind me I might never stop running. Never stop beating myself up for things that don't really exist." She pauses, then adds, "I'm glad you're my sister. I look up to you. It hurt thinking you hated me, that I wsn't good enough. Maybe we both neede that time away, so we could figure ourselves out, otherwise we might never have gotten along. Don't you think? Oh ... " And then turns and gives Nora a real hug, not the standoffish makeshift she started with.
Nora hugs back, and says, "A lot of that was me being disappointed in myself. I know now that.. that Gabriel wasn't in love with me, not really. I pressured him into it.. just another dominance game. He thought we were all dead anyway.."
"For what it's worth, I could never figure out why he loved me. The first thing I remember about meeting Gabriel is the profound feeling I wasn't good enough. Not that he was haughty, but that I was ... I don't know how to say it ... Just ... Inferior. Garbage, I guess." Not quite letting Nora go, Tasha gestures towards the ladder to indicate they should head that way as they talk. "The truth is I seduced him, I was obsessed with him. I always knew I loved him, but it was clouded in superiority, seeing him as my father who left me, validating myself through him. I even cheated on him, because I couldn't handle the guilt of not being good enough. I told him he should leave me, threatened him. Not just once either. We were a mess for a long time."
"Yeah, you believe something about yourself, and then try to prove it to the other," Nora agrees. "I'm sorry if you got that from me. I tried to justify my belief in my superiority.. you tried to justify your belief in your inferiority. And neither of us bothered to just ask Gabriel what he thought."
"It runs in the family," Tasha agrees. She walks Nora to the ladder she had entered on, then points her free hand upward. "The spy's up there," she notes before returning to her topic and saying, "But you know, I do think you have a lot to offer, that's you're amazing. I wanted you to believe in me, even as I believed in you. And, um, I know how much pressure they put you under. "The link between humanity and canines," he said. You said you wouldn't fail. I can't even imagine what that pressure must have been like. No one ever expected anything of me. Well, I mean, until now. Now ... Now is ... is very now. So, want to help me with two hundred pounds of now?"
"You remember that graduation speech?" Nora asks, looking surprised. She then looks up to the hatch. "I can help you with it once you bring it inside," she says. "I know Fred and the power suit are going to be busy unloading the shuttle. I get dizzy if I stick my head beyond the hull though."
"I just don't want to try and carry her down the ladder. I can handle carrying her, but between my wings, the hatch and the awkward size of the stasis container I'm afraid I'll drop her! I do not want to have to explain to the Terran Empire that I killed their spy because I can't handle a ladder." Tasha steps away, but turns to Nora and, hand flat, makes it slide down her other hand life a stasis pod down a hill. At the bottom, she makes a splut noise, then she grins. "By the way, I did get you souvineers. I just wasn't sure how to say so. Hold on."
After climbing up, tasha continues as she angles the black stasis device in to the aperature and begins to lower it. "And, remember the speech because a crazy Sifran artifact showed it to me. Don't ask me why. It knew about you though. By the way, have you ever had a chance to speak to Katherine Vesuvius?"
"I think she was here visiting her brother a while back, but wasn't cleared to visit the ship," Nora says. She catches the end of the stasis pod, since Tasha can feel the resistance. "Terran Empire? When did that happen?"
"Isn't that what they call it? Terran Empire, Star Empire, Celestial Empire. I suppose the Khattans have their Coalition, if that's what you call buying, stealing or enslaving everything you can turn a profit from. So, is it something else? Like the Confederates?" With the pod in Nora's hands, tasha readies herself to head down and does so once the hatch is clear. She resecures the hatch after she's in, then picks up one side of the device and carries it with Nora owards the infirmary. She could carry it herself of course, but she decides she really likes sharing the load with her sister -- it feels intensely homey to the young Vartan. "Oh and you should talk to Katie, she's a wonderful person A lot like us, really. More importantly: She's a motorcylist and racer! I'm tempted to ask her to let you work on her team when you're out of the tube. Unless you want to come with me of course."
"My tube time is a way's off yet," Nora says, walking backwards. "And to be an Empire you have to have an Emperor. The proper term for the Terran group of worlds is Terragens. Although I think there was a time when it was just the Human Federation, back when it was just Humans.."
"Complicated." Tasha walks along at an easy pace, in no rush to get where they're going as that'd mean the end of ther conversation. "Galactic politics is a huge mess I'm just beginning to understand. Usually we're on the fring of things and my ship is starting to see some use as a 'deniable asset' -- I think that's what Gabriel called it -- for their clandestine doings. It's how we met Dr. Yue Sen here." The stasis pod gets as much a pat as Tasha can manage and still carry it. "Lelping her was our half of the bargain for two Phin crew members, Lucky Kaa and Moka. Phin are something called 'dolphins,' big squeaky fish."
"I know what dolphins are," Nora says. "I even swam with some once while on vacation. I'm sure one of them tried to molest me. Not surprising, since they're shaped kind of like.." Before Nora can finish the anecdote, there's a call from behind her.. which is forward for Tasha. Remiel (or PC Remiel, most likely) is sticking his head out of the Med Bay. "Are you talking to yourself again, Nora? Oh! Tasha! What happened to your hair? I'm sure we grew it all back properly.."
"I went Titanian! Is big fancy, cut-cut, spike-spike. Bend. Fancy," Tasha replies in her best Titanian pidgin. In a lower voice, she even admits to Nora, "I have a hammer too." Then she winks and angles towards PC Remiel, raising her voice again. "Do you like spies, Remy? I brought you a genuine Terragen agent. I paid extra for the psychic powers! The coffin was a bonus. Help me unpack her."
"A spy? I always wanted a pet spy," Remiel claims, and gestures them into the room. After seeing what Jonas transformed the Dark Horse's medical bay into, Bellerophon's looks a bit dated - but at least Tasha knows what all of it does. Remiel gestures for the pod to be put onto one of the medical beds. "The teeth are fake then?" he asks Tasha.
After divesting herself of he conspiratorial cargo, Tasha dusts her hands off and smiles as she does. "They might as well be permanent, they're fixed with some sort of Titanian quantum wonder glue that can glue space and time back together, or something. I couldn't follow the explaination. The only way they're coming off is with a power tool." She then takes a moment to look around, smiling a little more. "And back in a Med Bay I understand! My own doctor turned our ship's bay in to some sort of maze of technology where everything is a robot."
"Ah, let me get the pneumatic pliers then and I'll have them out in a jiffy," Remiel says with a smile. "The replacement teeth can have little smoke bombs in them," he adds, as he starts the pod's revival sequence. There are lots of puffs of cold vapor venting from it then.
At the suggestion, Tasha covers up her mouth with her hands! She also side steps behind Nora, putting her sister between her and the doctor. "Oh Nora," she whispers to avoid undue sudden checkups and other medical contraptions aimed her way, "do you know anything about transfers of conciousness between a living body and a connected machine? That is, your conciousness shifting in to a machine?"
"Are you serious?" Nora asks. "I don't even know how I exist, much less transferring consciousness. And I'm assuming you aren't talking about a PersoCom sort of transfer either?"
"No," Tasha explains as she slowly stops retreating. "The Niss said that when I was connected to Mel, in a certain way, my conciousnss stopped being sourced in my body and was instead coming from the Melchior. Is that normal? I don't know how common things like that are, even six-thousand years ago. It sounded unusual."
"That's.. unusual," Nora says. "The Niss? Maybe you should talk to SAINA about this. An AI might understand better."
There's an alarm, and then the survival pod unseals. Remiel opens it, revealing a small curled up woman in a skinsuit. He pokes her. "I think she's alive," he declares. The robot cart arrives, carrying a steaming mug of.. something. Probably more 'wake up from suspension energy drink that tastes horrible' that it likes to force on everyone.
"So it is unusual. It also means that for however long, I am the melchior. Also, that your little sister is also a robot. Don't be too jealous!" Nora gets a togue stuck out at her, but then she also gets a clingy hug. "I'll ask. I've missed SAINA, but I've overlooked so many things lately. Oh, and the Niss are a quantum-computational communal society -- an empire really. Old Ones. We saved them from a rip in D-Space, they operate my sh- oop! Anyway, big secret do not tell the spy."
"I'm just curious to see how you're going to explain us to her," Nora says.
"The crazy train is a ghost train?" Tasha offers, making a big 'I have no idea' shrug of her shoulders. "She knows the Elite survived, anyway. We can use that, but I'm worried her psychic abilities will see right through it."
Yue begins to stir, then uncurls and stretches, yawning as well. "Ugh, why can't they put mouthwash into these pods," she complains. She finally looks around. "More demigods," she notes. "I shouldn't be surprised though, should I.."
Remiel sticks a probe of some sort into Yue's ear, then hands her the mug. "You'll probably hate this," he apologizes. "But that's how you know it's medicine."
"I prefer to be called a extradimensional horror, personally. It maks me sound more exotic," the hybrid woman quips as she steps forward. Leaning in, she looks Yue over for any obvious signs of damage, then asks, "Have a good 'cat nap'? That was the joke, wasn't it? By the way .... " And then she leans back and spreads her hands, "Welcome to the Primus System! Planet Abaddon! We have rust, monsters, more rust, and rust monsters."
"Is that how your fur got that color?" Yue asks, after drinking the wake-up juice and making an appropriate face of disgust. "Where on the planet Abaddon am I? And have you launched the hypernode yet?"
Tasha's hands falls, then she folds them across her chest. "It's a secret! And no, because we need more preperation time. Getting you unthawed and our supplies transfered was top priority," she explains. the young woman then steps aside and unfolds a hand to gesture to the people around her, "The man trying to poison you like he does me every time, is Doctor Remiel Caravelli. The woman beside me iiis ... " Stepping next to Nora, then leaning in so their heads are close together, she then declares, "My sister Nora! Nora Argentine. Personally I don't think we look alike at all."
The similiarity is uncanny. Although the color is faded, teeth changed, avian patch, hair cut and styled and other subler changes as well, the overall shape, eye color of the canid eyes, and most other details are a perfect match. "Nora's the pretty one," Tasha insists a second later.
"I can see every Karnor I've met drowning in drool at the sight of her," Yue claims, and winks. "At least until I met your pack. So, are you really the original Karnor Elite?"
"Depends on your definition of original," Nora replies with a grin.
"It's actually me. I'm made from all the Elite, a few Vartan leaders, a Titanian and several kegs of beer," is Tasha's version of the truth.
"You seem to be fit," Remiel claims, and removes the probe from Yue's ear. "You shouldn't believe anything anyone tells you, unless it sounds completely unbelievable - then it's probably true. Especially with these two."
"The beer part is true," Nora claims.
Tasha then turns to Nora and asks, "Wait, why don't they drown in drool at the sight of me, anyway? They also didn't follow me. Oh well, at least Harrowers like me." The young woman then nods. "The beer part is always true."
"Weren't you pretending to be a Titanian?" Yue asks. "Besides, it's something only the Elite would have. Less likely their descendants."
"One more thing for me to ctch up on. You'll see, Nora." Tasha steps away from her sistr and walks over to Yue again, offering a hand to help her up. "And I wasn't pretending. I am a Titanian. I built myself with a hammer, as any real Titanian would."
"You are awfully short for a Titanian," Yue notes. "And not nearly shaggy enough," she says as she takes the hand and steps down from the bed. She wobbles a bit until her legs finish waking up. "The Elite were all 'white cards' back in the day. Unlimited breeding permits. So of course they had a pheromone modification to make them more desirable. That was phased out once the whole selective breeding period passed, of course. The current generation just.. seems to have a stronger reaction to it."
Nora snickers and covers her muzzle.
"Is that why I love Gabriel?" Tasha shakes her head at it all. "Nah." She then half-turns and waves to the superstructure around her. "This is the JEF Bellerophon by the way. You'll be staying here a while until we can head out. You might like to meet Miss Riddle. Riddle Smith, a Terragen agent like yourself. You can also talk to the crew, look at maps, and so on. We can plan our invasion! It'll be fun!"
Tasha is about to say something else when she suddenly pauses, turning to Nora and asksing, "Unlimited breeding, huh?"
"In practice, it meant donating lots of gametes," Nora admits. "Except for Fred. He was old-fashioned about it."
"Am I the shortest person on the ship?" Yue asks, looking up at Nora and Remiel.
"That does sound like Fred," agrees Tasha. "But that gametes thing doesn't sound like a good time at all." Turning back around, she tells Yue, "So, any questions? Or have you already sucked it all out of my brain?"
"That depends on your definition of person," Remiel comments.
"Questions," Yue repeats to Tasha. "First, will I be able to get some local clothes, since I probably can't get away with wearing a skinsuit everywhere. Second, is there food? Real food? Third, will I have a private accommodation while here or do I have to share?"
"She may be short, but she's big in ... Um, well, suits with cats on them I suppose. terran cats." Aside, Tasha then notes, "Terran cats look like Khattahs, but tiny, with big heads and huge eyes, and four legs. It's bizarre." There's more turning back to Yue, and so tasha answers, "Yes, "that depends on your definition of real food," and yes."
"We know what cats are," Remiel notes with a grin. "You've both been traveling for awhile.. Nora, find a room for Dr. Sen, and then she can Tasha can freshen up."
Nora salutes, and starts pushing Tasha and Yue towards the corridor. "I had luggage," Yue notes. "You didn't forget that, did you Tasha?"
"I suppose it's better than just finding new body parts," Tasha agrees as she's slowly pushed out of the room. "Luggage?" She glances over, brows raising. "I thought it ws a gift for bringing you to Primus. I look cute in your weird cat suits, did you know that?" She grins widely, then holds up her hands to forestall being hit -- possibly in the brain. "It's here! I'll get it later, I'm sure Gabriel and Fred are bonding with the new shuttle. We can relax and let them do all the work!"