It's the clock that is problem. The one in Melchior is out of sync by more than an hour, even though the Titan doesn't have any memory of the time spent inside the Hall of Souls or the Way. The power cells show significant use however, which matches with Tasha's experience. But as far those on Bellerophon are concerned, Tasha laid down the Markers and the pillars came together, only for the markers to vanish and the pillars to continue on until they were back in their original configuration, with Melchior hovering in place the entire time.
The extra paradox is that while they all saw the Markers vanish, the Vartan Marker - Horus's Marker - is in the Titan's cockpit, with Tasha. The bay doors close over the back of the Gryphon and the bay begins to pressurize.
All of this doesn't surprise Tasha; in fact it comes as a distant concern, a kind of trivia. Interesting, but otherwise a small addendum to the immensity of all that has happened. As she lays back in the command seat she stares at the Vartan Marker, though she doesn't really see it either. Her mind is still back there. Back beyond the gate, in to history -- in to forever.
Tasha can still see that burning gaze, hear the words, see the place that stretches from the Beginning to the End.
And she thinks she always will.
The world feels smaller now.
Smaller, yet again.
Just as it did before, when she left being Tasha the drover and was shown the true past.
Just as it had when she left gravity behind and was shown the stars.
And beyond reality, the transit planes.
And now she has left them all behind and seen beyond, in to forever.
Where Atum and the Waymakers dwell. Here and everywhere. Every when.
Where ever; forever.
But she came back, even if she doesn't feel back.
Not yet. But she came back.
She has a job to do. There are people waiting.
Her gaze lifts and she begins to rise, taking the Marker with her.
Fred is in the hangar already, hooking up the power feed to Melchior. He waves to Tasha when she emerged from the Gryphon. "It didn't look like anything happened," he tells her.
"Mm," goes Tasha absentmindedly, turning to stare up at her Titan. It feels like a cruel joke to erase the Melchior's memory of the place, but she decides it may be for teh best. Having a physical record of the Way and Atum might endanger them both. The mind-bending nature of Way itself may -- as hard as it is for her to accept -- make it also vulnerable. It's created in the future, she knows, and so time and space and all realities may conspire to allow for it to be prevented if the future should fail to occur as expected -- hoped for? And then what happens to Atum, to the Makers? To her? She doesn't know, but she doubts very much that it would be anything good.
But the task has its guardians. Her, now, and the Archon of the Waymakers. Others, perhaps. Atum, before Atum entered the Way? An Atum before she met him? It? Them? When time ceases to be progressive linear, paradox abounds. She'll just have to learn to deal with it, like the rest.
But it occurs to her as she stands there she's supposed to do something else, something much more banal. What was it? Check the Titan? She has the Marker. Oh ... "Hi, Fred," she adds almost a minute later.
"Are you okay?" Fred asks, and gives Tasha a gentle 'nudge' towards the forward doors of the hangar. "You should have doc look you over. That fortress was weird, so who knows what you've been exposed to."
I do. "Okay." Tasha moves forward as if she were light, the push simply setting her to motion down a hill. She walks in a trance, always looking a thousand miles away. The Marker remains craddled in her arms and held loose. She hasn't attempted to make contact yet; she decided on the return home that they both could use a while to adjust. There will be a time and she remains available if Horus should initiate first.
Dr. Caravelli is already waiting on the other side of the door, and holds out a device with what looks like a drinking straw sticking out of it. "Blow into this please," he asks.
"Uh-huh." Tasha doesn't exactly volunteer her head, staring off at the bulkhead as she mulls over things more, but she does at leats open her mouth when the straw comes. After a little encouraging she even blows in it.
The Karnor reads something off of the device, then tries to guide Tasha into the Med Bay by her shoulder. "Did you see any bright lights?" he asks.
Tasha moves as directed, giving the impression the man could have nudged her in to the cargo hold, her room or the reactor chamber just as easily and just as obliviously. "Oh. Sure. Lots of them." Meanwhile she thinks about making her next moves -- should she return directly to her ship? Take more time to plan, and who to tell? What to tell?
This state at least makes it easy to get her to sit down. Remiel downloads her vitals directly from her armor, and looks over them. "Hmm, I suspect you've been exposed to time travel of some kind," he tells her. "Mainly because there is more data here than can be accounted for by what we observed. What happened, Tasha?"
As before, Tasha doesn't respond quickly. Or in this case at all. She hunches down and lays her head on her hands, elbows against her stomach and Marker held in the space between arm and chest. After some further prodding, though, she begins to talk. "Time travel," she repeats, though it's less agreement than simple repeating of the statement. More prompting and, "Time travel, yes, it was time travel. The gate. About an hour. Maybe two."
"So you do remember it then?" Remiel asks. "I notice you have a Marker there. Weren't they all used up?"
The more Tasha interacts the harder it is for her to remain in her distant state, slowly the world she came from creeps back in to the periphery, then farther. She turns to gace Remiel, though her eyes are mirrors, reflecting some part of what she must have seen in that thousand-mile stare. "This one was returned to me," she explains in a slow, precise cadence, " ... Used for the lock, and then returned. The others are gone now. I need this one. I'm supposed to shepard it. Horus, I'm supposed to shepard Horus. He must complete his task, and I must make sure he does."
"Alright," Remiel says, and has a good look at each of Tasha's eyes. "Can you tell me why that is?"
"Horus failed somehow. I think it must be his abandonment of the Vartan people in order for them to live free from their task, but it may have been personal. It wasn't explained to me. The reason he must complete his task is to oppose the Ogdoad, who he is tasked to defeat. And I am tasked to see that happens." Tasha reaches up and rubs her nose, then blinks and begins looking around as if just noticing she's in the Med Bay. "I must also see that he acquires an object necessary to the mission, and I must meet Thoth."
"Where do this instructions come from, Tasha?" Remiel ask in his too-calm psychiatrist voice.
"Atum," Tasha replies, eyes widening as she says it.
"And you agreed?" Remiel asks. "Did he offer you anything for doing it?"
"Yes." Tasha considers this a moment, realizing there's something more she's supposed to say. The Doctor wnats to hear something. Oh. "I wasn't forced." She finishes her looking around, gaze returning to fix on Remiel's face. "No. No offers; I accepted because I chose to, because I thought it was the right choice." A pause, then she adds, "But I asked for something in return. He ... He? They ... They could not restore life to Nora and Fred. Nor Blackwings. I then asked to return, and they agreed. I asked for a ... mentor. They declined; Thoth. I asked for a people; Thoth."
"A people?" Remiel asks, sounding uncertain. "Do you know where to look for them?"
"A people." Tasha frowns then, thinking and dropping hear head to look at the Marker. "The moon Thoth is a place to look; so is planet Varta. Horus knows where the mission object is and may know where his child Thoth is." But then her frown deepens, ears canting back. "He may not tell me. Not yet. He may be disappointed with me. Or resent me. He has not spoken to me and I haven't asked. There will be time, later."
"Do you know how to communicate with him?" Remiel asks, and reaches over to tap the marker (which doesn't make a sound when tapped, of course). "Through the Marker I presume?"
"Probably. It may need to be inserted where the Khattan Marker once was, or, there may be other means. Atum didn't tell me, but it must be possible if I was asked to do it. I ... " Again Tasha pauses, frowning in thought. She knows she asked the questions but the how of the asking is what causes the delays, the confusion. She knows she was before Atum, she knows they spoke, what about, the details of what was said and distinctly remembers Atum's form and gaze, but as for her part ... Where she was, what she was doing ... It's a jumble. She was there, but also shew as watching a crowd of people. She spoke, but she also watched herself speak. From multiple perspec-- The young woman squeezes her eyes shut and aborts thinking about it. The rest remains. "Horus may be silent because he doesn't want to speak to me. I must shepard him; I must go against him," she presses on.
"What's causing you distress?" Remiel asks next, given how Tasha squeezes her eyes shut and furrows her brow. "It sounds like you'll have to wait for Horus to speak up. Or at the very least proceed without his input."
"He's stubborn. He has a while but not forever," Tasha insists, cracking her eyes open. "We'll talk sooner or later." And wider. "I was trying to think about how I spoke to Atum, but I can't. I know we did, I know what about, I remember Atum and the ... " And narrower. " ... others. But I don't know where I was and it hurts to think about it."
"What others were there?" Remiel asks.
"Neith. Ahriman. Mafdet. Horus. Ser Heraphel ... Mel ... Blackwings ... the ... Empress ... me ... and ... me ... and ... " Tasha squeezes her eyes shut, ending the list.
"Is there someone you're trying not to remember?" Remiel asks. "Someone else that isn't you, or a part of you?"
"There we ... were a lot of ... of ... " Tasha presses harder, wanting to push through and have the gap in her memory straightened out. She also wants to answer for Remiel, whom she trusts. "Me. Blackwings. The ... Empress. Me. Me?" her face twitches at the second listing of herself, but it feels right. She was there. And she was watching herself, as herself. Somehow, she was. But that wasn't all of them. Of her. One like her ... "Tisiphone! Mel!" And the last one, quiet, barely there. She was it, but its memory is the hardest. Silent, watching. But more, it was ... "The shadow!" ... alien.
"Did they all speak or.. interact?" Remiel asks. "Did any do something that disturbed you?"
"No." Having gotten the full list out comes as a huge relief to the hybrid. One, she has the list now and by having it the knot has loosened considerbly and two she needn't strain against the memory any further. "No, they didn't all speak. Most were watching. One was oppressed. Mel couldn't speak; I think Atum did something to him sdo he couldn't remember or participate. Maybe Mel can't percieve Atum for the same reason he can't percieve the Markers. The shadow ... I don't know what the shadow was thinking, but it was thinking. I was thinking it. But I don't know. And I think there were two of me. Me, me. Not Empress-me or Mel-me but me. They were ... "
The woman opens her eyes and reaches to rub her face but pauses, looking at her hands. She looks between them, opening them and closing them, then suddenly looks up. "It was like the dream I had with Blackwings, where I spoke to her and we settled things. There was me, the Karnor. And me, the Vartan."
"That is interesting," Remiel remarks. "You've only ever experienced that in a dream before, right? How did the two of you.. them.. interact?"
Tasha squints an eye, her hands resuming their trek to her head and rubbing the side of it and her temples. She looks nautious. "Like me. Whenever I try to think about it it's like being two of myself trying to think about myself, I feel like I'll split in half. At least with the others they were distinct, seperate, but ... me somehow. But they weren't close together. Me and me ... Karnor me and Vartan me ... they were me but different ... A little different?"
"Did they each take on specific aspects of your personality, perhaps?" Remiel asks. He's clearly thinking hard about this.
Tasha untwines her Karnor hand and points at Remiel. "Yes! Yes, that's what they did! But not always seperate, they overlap. It's, um ... " She twirls the finger, then brings both hands forward and waggles them. "They're different and the same. Vartan me is like all my friendliness, but not really, because Karnor me is friendly too. Just different. Just ... " She wiggles her Karnor fingers as she thinks. "Nora different. Different like Nora is from me, but if I were Nora and also me within me. She was like the me before my injury, when I was trying to be the best cadet I could be. But stiffer. More ... Nora-like. When I was relying on Nora's memories of how things should feel and be. But a Nora-me. The Vartan was ... Like my mother, but me."
"So of the two, would you say that the Karnor was the most self-conscious or self-aware?" Remiel asks.
"She was ... bossier. The Vartan didn't talk as much, but she was paying attention and being supportive. Sometime she talked when the Karnor couldn't or didn't know how. The Karnor was stuffy, like Nora when you ask her to socialize or try to help her. The Vartan was friendly. The Vartan was comfortable with Atum; the Karnor saw Atum as an alien to negotiate with. That's what I remember. It's easier to remember what was asked and why then how it was asked and by who," Tasha explains, hands finally dropping though she still looks like she might be on the vrge of a migraine.
"Alright, let's shelve that for the time being," Remiel says, noting Tasha's stress. "Atum.. had a powerful presence, I take it?"
And then Tasha's eyes widen again. "Yes. But not intimidating. Understanding. It was like speaking to forever, but I know Atum isn't forever -- well he is now -- but not inherently. I don't think. Not omnipotent, maybe omnipresent but probably not that either. Um ... Oh. Big, many times Mel's size. Readings were ... roughly four-thousand feet. Made of stone. Marker stone. Beautiful. Burning eyes, six. A glowing core. A being of many-but-one. He recalled us when we went too far, was waiting for us where we arrived," she replies.
"Us?" Remiel asks. "Us us, or some other us that includes you?"
"Us-them and us-us," Tasha answers after a moment of thought. "We all together, speaking, but us-them and us-us. Horus switched sides and became us-us when the us-them forced him to. Neith, Mafdet and Ahriman made him come over, and Atum agreed. But Atum is us-them, each of them individual but also toegther. "Many a name he hath full sure, but all of one nature," " ... know who he is and all his kin." But we are not Atum." Tasha blinks, then frowns a little. "I don't think."
"But maybe Ser Heraphel is, now," the young woman adds a split second later. "He to them, Horus to us-us."
"So does that mean Horus is in the extra brain that Ser Heraphel was in before?" Remiel asks.
"I think so. Or maybe in his Marker. Or both. But he doesn't speak to me, he's probably mad. I'm worried that he's mad, but I have reached Atum and seen forever, and I'm not afraid. Atum backs me, but I can do it." Not having to discuss her 'selves' as intently, Tasha slowly begins to relax from her pained expression looking if not normal than at least not about to need pain killers. "I may need to yell at him, but I'm hoping we can negotiate and work together instead."
"How is Atum backing you in this?" Remiel asks. "That's pretty important information. Unless it's just that he spanked Horus and told him to play nice?"
"Horus has what he needs, it is my job to see that he uses it. Atum must believe I can do it, but Atum is not omnipotent and probably not omnipresent, so maybe Atum is relying on me to figure it out. The most important help Atum provides is Horus and the artifact Horus was given to oppose the Ogdoad. I don't know what it is, but Horus does and knows wheer it is," Tasha answers. She looks down at the Marker and runs her fingers across it, both hands, pursing her lips a moment. "Horus may not be what he was; the Markers are embers of Progenitors, not them at their full strength. I never got to speak to the others or even Horus, but maybe Atum gave Horus more so that he could succeed. Made him more like he was."
"You mentioned Thoth," Remiel says. "That's not one of the 'first generation' Archons, right? Some sort of second generation. If Hakeber and Yue are correct in their translation, that means the parents were diminished by the act of creation, doesn't it?"
Tasha looks up again, bobbing her head. "Atum splits themself to create new life; that must be true of the Archons too," she agrees. "Thoth was created from Ahriman and Horus. Neith was like a mediator between them, when they argued; that the moon of Zion is named Thoth makes me think Thoth went to Neith some time after being created and may still be there."
"Hmmm, I hope that's not the moon that got destroyed to construct the Zion Gateway," Remiel notes. "Did you learn any more about Eve or the Vril?"
"No. I asked ... " Tasha's face scrunches up all over again; her hands drum on the Marker. "I asked only what was ... important."
"Understandable," Remiel says. "Although it sounds like you couldn't have gotten specifics anyway, since Atum couldn't know them. Did he know things you didn't tell him, or have some sense that he was reading your mind?"
"I felt like he would know if I was lying and that I should be, um, forthright and direct, but that might have been me remembering what Lord Yama said about not lying. And I didn't want to lie or appear hostile -- and I wasn't -- so it was easy to be direct. Except for the, um ... " Tasha's ears flick. "Way we talked. But Atum exists outside of time and space, so Atum may know the future. Any future, um, any place. He knew what I was and seemed like he expected me, somehow. The, uh, "Fire of the Earth, the Earth of Water," and the "Black Sun." They're in the full poem the mission poem was taken from, from Eve's writings, so maybe Eve knew about me too. Even Katha-hem seemed to know." And then she rolls her shoulders. "I always felt like reaching the Hall was important, like it was the most important thing even if it wasn't always. Even the Niss seemed to know about it; they said I was 'quantum entangled' or something like that, with events."
"This place you met him was in the future?" Remiel asks. "That could explain a few things. What was the Hall of Souls like?"
"I'm, um ... I'm not sure I should talk about it," Tasha admits, hesitating and looking around before leaning in closer. "But in the future, I think. In a sense. It hasn't been made yet. There was the Hall of Souls and ... another place. The Hall is what Mel called 'the wardrobe' and what I thought of as 'the graveyard,' and I think it's a combination of the outside artifact and a vast dimensionally expansive interior space where the- ... The Archons are. What's left of them, their 'clothes' for our reality. Their suits, like Titans. Thousands of them. But Atum was below, in a different place, the place outside time and space which hasn't been made yet."
"What was that like?" Remiel asks. "It's best to get this down while it's fresh. There's no telling what you may forget, for one reason or another, after a few days."
"I'm not sure I should say," Tasha begins, leaning back a little, her ears going up and eyes widening. "But I wasn't asked not to say, either. I don't think it would matter? But it's a future event, and also outside of reality, so I don't know. I do know I don't want to endanger it, but maybe I'm supposed to trust you? I can't exactly complete my mission all by myself. It's hard to know what they want, but the Builder didn't stop me, and didn't instruct me or ... program me and I think they could have. Easily." She bites her lip, then spreads her hands and begins to explain.
"It was the Way. The Way of the Waybuilders. A corridor from the Beginning to the End, with 'wells' reaching in to different times and realities. It looked like two ring world halves put together in to a tube that went on, um, well maybe forever. Maybe literally forever, covered in sparse areas of land and ... vein-like things Mel described as made of geometry." Here Tasha gives the Doctor a knowing look, firguing he understands what it means when a supercomputer's best guess is as to what something's made of is 'shapes.' "I emerged from one of the wells. I think the artifact outside is a machine that can access them, but I don't know who made that or why it is there when the Way is made in the future. It's pretty though."
"So it was created in the future, but extends into the past, would you say?" Remiel asks. "Although it sounds like timeframe is arbitrary, since different universes wouldn't be interacting. And you met one of the builders?"
"I think so. I don't really understand how it works. I don't think Atum really understands how it works, only the Waybuilders do and Atum only seems to understand the younger ones." Again that meaningful look. Tasha scoots closer, hugging the Marker to her chest. "The Waybuilders are like Nukapai, maybe like the Phin but I'm not sure about that. Nukapai is a whale isn't she? Like, an Terra-whale? The whale-goddess of the Phin, so maybe the Waybuilders are Terran whales, just, um, their ancestors. The young old ones. So maybe Nukapai is old in the Way and young right now; maybe she remembers me in the future?"
"Why don't you describe what happened," Remiel suggests.
"Well, we exited the Hall in to the Way. We were alone, and I wasn't sure what to do -- I had expected to be intercepted before that and I was disturbed by seeing the thousands of Archons because I know what happened to most of their species and the Archons themselves. That's why I called it 'the graveyard.'" Tasha scratches her nose, frowning at the memory and glad she can abitrarily move on from it. When she was actually experiencing it felt like it'd go on forever. An endless showcase of endings and loss. "So we entered the Way and saw it. At first I thought we were in soem kind of interplanetary habitation, like a ringworld just ... A tube world. A really big tube world. I didn't know where to go, so we landed and started to look around when something massive approached from down the, um, Way. It was creating a dangerous front and we ddin't know what it was, so I got us airborne and decided to wait, then tried to match speed with it and slow gradually to get a look at it, but it was costing us
too much energy. I decided to signal it when it overtook us, but it didn't even disturb our flight."
"It was a ship then?" Remiel asks.
"It was a Waybuilder." Tasha holds her hands out, wide as she can, indicating size as best she can. She then drops her hands and holds up the smallest finger of her Karnor hand, holding it up to where the phantom measurement of the Waybuilder had been. The Melchior in comparison; tiny. "What happened when it passed us was that time stopped. It saw me, all big eye and small eyes, and I saw it, and we were in the water -- and then it passed us and I was back in the cockpit. Shortly later Atum grabbed us and brought us back to the well, and that's when we started talking. I think the Waybuilder is a starship sized biomechanical life form, but it's probably made of things I don't know about, like the Way itself."
"The Confederates created some truly enormous living structures before they got hyperdrive," Remiel notes. "Did it feel like that, or more like an entity?"
"Like an entity. Like I was dealing with a spaceship sized person, but a person I barely understood. Godlike, like Atum was, just in a different way. Atum is energy and stone and many-and-one, the Waybuilder felt like just one being, but terribly ancient and advanced. I recognized what I thought were biomechanical structures, antennas, things like that. Organic parts." Tasha waggles her fingers, indicating the flagellation of some of the structures. "My first thought was Nukapai. It looked at me like Nukapai did. The big eye, the water. That was Nukapai's way of talking. Atum said the Waybuilder Archon is in place, so they must be an uplifted species."
"Or the memory of your encounter with Nukapai was brought forth as a means of communication," Remiel suggests. "Did it feel like the memory, or associated emotions attached to it?"
"It only was what it was. I knew it saw me, I knew it knew I saw it, and the whole experience reminded me of Nukapai. Even the shape sort of did, but I could be wrong. Not telling me who the Waybuilders really are makes sense as a defense; I wasn't asked to help them. I was asked help Horus deal with the Ogdoad; the Waybuilder Archon will deal with the Sifra. That's the plan," the Cadet replies.
"Deal with the Sifra?" Remiel asks, eyebrows rising. "So that Archon is likely in the Primus system, or else coming here, do you think?"
"One way or another. If they show up I'll offer help, but they might not know about me and we have our own tasks," Tasha replies, rolling her shoulders again. "I know the Way can't be allowed to be controlled by someone like Khomen or the Ogdoad, though, so protecting the Waybuilders is important if their Archon should fail. There's one more thing: The Null. The Null is the god of the Waybuilders, the 'Darkness that Shines Brightly.' Atum said I shouldn't want to meet it, but that it's also seeking the Ogdoad and like Horus and I, seems to have a similiar mission. I think Fred talked about Nulls once, but I don't know if it's the same thing and it's the only thing Atum ever spoke about with concern."
"So something really scary then," Remiel suggests. He also looks thoughtful for a moment, and then says, "Don't tell Neesa about this Archon stuff, okay?"
"I didn't even want to tell you," Tasha admits holding her hands up to forestall a retort and as apology. "I'm still dealing with this all myself and I don't know what limits I have or how much about what I need to do is known or expected to happen and what a mistake might be. I can handle it I just ... " Her hands falls, resting on the Marker and patting it absently. "I just need some time to work it out. We both probably do. But not a lot of time." And then she frowns, eyes narrowing slightly. "Why, is Neesa involved somehow..?"
"Any mage, really, and.." Remiel pauses. "There are enough odd rumors among the mages, and this sort of information might make them jump to certain conclusions that may or may not be correct. But giving them a reason to jump to conclusions isn't going to help."
"Well, my mission doesn't focus on Sinai, so I'd just as soon not go yelling about ancient mysteries and god-like beings beyond space and time. If anyone actually believed me it'd be chaos, and that's not even including what might happen to us, or even me. For a little while I was forever, too." Tasha looks down at the Marker, picking it up and staring in to its peculiar surface. "I don't want what little connection I have to disappear. I work with old gods and am helping to, in some small way, build the road to forever. I can deal with that -- I can accept it. But I know I'm not the same, not anymore. I can't go back any more than I could when Nora showed me our past, and Gabriel the stars. But as long as people think I'm normal, just another woman on the train, I can pretend to be that while I'm here."
"So... I imagine your next goal is Varta or one of the Vartan colonies?" Remiel asks, happy to change the subject.
The Marker is lowered, revealing Tasha's young face contrasted by the echo of forever in her eyes. "That's right. Thoth isn't a priority, getting Horus to cooperate is. And I need to return to my ship before Kaa gets bored of waiting and tries to fly it in to a planet or something. Varta has Horus's old works, his religion, and its surrounding planets may have other records and supplies. Maybe even what he needs. If he won't cooperate I'll have to figure out his task without him and see what I can do. If he really won't cooperate I might have to try and do it myself, but I may need help with that. The colonies have that uplift doctor, we should try and help him if it seems possible and he isn't crazy or dangerous."
"Infiltrating a colony should be easier than sneaking into the homeworld also," Remiel points out. "Good for practice."
"Kem had some ideas on how to do that, Yue too. But you're right, it'd be easier and I need the practice. There may still be useful information there too and maybe being near his children will make Horus more cooperative," Tasha agrees, tapping the Marker with her finger. "Of course it might make him less cooperative too, but maybe he doesn't know what state we're all in now. Well see. I'll also have to keep an eye out for Khomen and anyone else who might be 'in the know' and want to stop me -- and that reminds me." Again Tasha leans in; her gaze has a weight to it now it didn't before, the weight of eternity and the backings of gods, but also a steel. She succeeded; she reached the Hall of Souls, and will never forget it. "Harmonia has been waiting for 'the Expedition to succeed.' Maybe it just did. We need to watch her when we return."
"Do you intend to share any of this with her?" Remiel asks. "The recordings we have only show that the Markers vanished. Does Melchior have any memory of things?"
"Mel doesn't seem to remember anything. Right now only you and I know. Maybe Yue too if she's spying on me, but spying on me right now is a really bad idea because now I have to decide if I want to risk having the TerraGens Council know. I really don't want the Galactics to know what I'm doing or who I'm really working for, the whole universe might start following me around and who nows what politics, wars or what-ever might come of that," Tasha answers. Her head shakes and she throws up her hands, letting the Marker fall in her lap. "And I know there are going to be groups that want in. In for power, in for knowledge, in for religion and in for technology. Atum doesn't understand us, that leaves things to me."
"Are you sure that you understand us any better?" Remiel asks, with a slight grin.
Tasha sits straighter and lifts her chin. "You're talking to the Girl From Forever, I had to give Eli dating advice with a spaceship, made up with Fred, subtly suggested Hake is my bets friend while she could also date Gabriel if I died, then cried all over Nora when she said she'd go in the tube. I'm still working on that last part. Or do you think I've become a big alien, Mr. Psycologist?" And then she reaches over and tries to poke at Remiel.
"I think you need to not feel like you're carrying the weight of the world," Remiel notes. "To that end.. I suggest you talk to Yue. She's Hakeber's shadow anyway, and you know Hake will want every detail. But if you want a realistic idea how the major powers would react, she's the one to give you that scenario."
"Well aren't I though? I mean Atum just asked me to shepard Horus in to dealing with the Ogdoad. Maybe I'm not like them, at their level, but I can't pretend anymore I'm not part of it. And I chose to be. It's okay, I can deal with being an angel, even if I'm a crummy one." Tasha winks, then slides off and stands, arching her back and stretching a little. "Besides I knew this was coming; I could feel it, even months ago. In a way I'm kind of glad it's over, it's a lot easier to just accept it than worry about what it all might be. And Atum and the Waybuilders trust me! That means a lot and I don't feel alone about it anymore. Somewhere out there forever liked me and wanted my help, so I feel pretty big, you know? How can I not be confident now? It'd just be ... " She stands straight again, head bobbing back and forth as she stretches that. " ... Silly, that's what'd it'd be."
"You realize this can't be the only universe Atum has put Archons into, right?" Remiel points out.
"Oh sure," Tasha says, waggling a hand. "And Atum is from the universe of Light like we are, and the Waybuilders were probably made by Atum and then exceeded Atum to become higher. It's all very pan-universal and maybe infinite. Maybe there are a million Tashas too. Maybe we'll all meet some day and talk about the universes. You really have to keep up with the universality, Remy. I'm beyond all that now!" And then she steps over and offers him a hug, grinning.
"Just don't end up looking for yourself up your own bum," Remiel says with a chuckle. "Now go see Hakeber. She's probably gone through a pot of coffee by now waiting for you."
"Hey don't worry about me, staringin to the forever-tube gave me a forever-dose of humility. All this is just talking big and feeling big so I can handle the big deal. You have to be big to deal with a big deal, Remy! I tried it the other way, and you saw what a mess I was. Or maybe I'm just trying to make you feel assured!" Tasha arches a brow in an 'eh, eh? see how far I've come?' sort of way, then gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"But thansk for worrying about me. I just need some time to, um, settle my feelings and get used to it. I'm trying being big and dramatic right now, maybe I'll try being quiet and overwhelmed in an hour or two?" The young woman pats her doctor's arm, then nods to him. "I'll be with Hake for a while then. Tell Gabriel I'm fine -- not crazy-fine or meltdown-fine, but fine-fine. And tell him I'll see him soon."