While Kaa gets information from Iria on just what is needed to support, maintain and potentially repair a bioship, Tasha is taken to Darksight's quarters - both to see him about training the new ship, getting her inside of it, and possibly to discuss more of their shared experiences. A few taps on the door valve cause it to open.
Darksight floats near the far side of the sphere, with the central space being taken up by an ever-changing hologram of what might be a loose ball of tangled yarn or the branches of a zero-gravity bush - or possibly an alien circulatory or nervous system. The colors shift with the movement as the display rotates, and the Eeee is studying it closely - so much so that he hasn't seemed to have noticed Tasha yet at all.
Afraid that she came at a bad time or is interupting something, Tasha lurks by the door, floating. As beings go she's never been particularly subtle unless she's going out of her way to be. Unique in form and until recently loud of voice, she's not used to going unobserved and unnoticed. The peculiar nature of the ship, the quarters, and now going unnoticed leads to an awkward silence inside and out. She waits.
Darksight eventually chirps something that Tasha can barely hear, and the display in the center of the room freezes. "How long have you been floating there, Aldara?" the Eeee asks.
"I'm not really sure," the young woman replies. She hadn't exactly been counting, looking inward and out as she reviewed the room, the display, how her day has gone and how Hakeber and Lacci might be getting on. She thought of home, and of her ship. "I wasn't sure I'd interupt something if I spoke."
"Just one of my futile exercises," Darksight claims, and gestures to the display. "It is difficult to see a map of hyperspace conduits, since they are four-dimensional. More so to discover hidden gravitational anomalies that might be lost worlds."
Tasha inclines her head. "It seems like the universe has endless complexitities and endless mysteries, here, there, and between." It's not a comment onhyeprspace so much as everywhere she's been. In the grand expanse of everywhere she's gone, remaining behind, going between, and arriving have all had their peculiar mysteries and ways to understand them, many of which seem unique to the place and time. At least, they have to her. "They told me understanding that level of hyperspace is something only a few can do. Only Eeee?"
"We can find the conduits," Darksight notes. "But we do not understand the overall structure of that level of hyperspace. The one you'd call C-level. But myself and other deepblazers have seen pings on our mass detectors where there should not be any mass. It suggests that there are pockets of real mass - mass enough to show up, which would be planetary at the least. Real planets in the upper layers of D-level. Myth and legend are ripe with tales of missing worlds."
"It wouldn't surprise me at all if there were some. The universe is vast, and it's only one of many." Feeling increasingly awkward remaining at the door, Tasha pushes off so that se can move closer to Darksight, breaking against the projection equipment area so that she's roughly on level and close enough not to raise her voice, which she knows is unnecessary for the Eeee if not for her. "There are creatures in D-Level, after all."
"I have seen the dark universe yawning where the black planets roll without aim, where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge, or lustre, or name," Darksight quotes. "Carcosa, Ib, Sarnath.. names of legend, and maybe the Celestial homeworld and any number of Khattan ones. The Harrowers were said to be able to move worlds if commanded, so I'm sure there are others that can do it."
"They can," Tasha confirms, incling her head again. "I know. If I had been a bit wiser I might have asked it to. The Old Ones could harness their powers and it seems likely the First Ones could, too. There are probably many conventinal ways to do it without relying on Harrowers." She looks up now, peering atthe hyperspace corridor, trying to make sense out of the tangle. "But it seems condescending to say the worlds exist in horror, knowledge or name. Maybe they have names that have nothing to do with us."
"Oh, that is just my fondness for ancient, macabre poetry," Darksight claims. "You can't actually see in D-level, really. The only light is dark light, after all. It just seemed an appropriate piece for the topic. If anything lived on those worlds, I doubt it would survive in a realm where even time is different."
"Not everyone needs time," Tasha notes, looking away from the projection. "There are beings that live outside of time, in their own time. And there are visitors. The Harrowers are a little of both." She then reaches up and taps her head, knowingly, before letting the hand fall. After that she stares at Darksight for a long moment before admitting, "You remind me of people I know, which makes me want to help you. You want answers, don't you? We can put aside obfuscation and, um, abstraction. I'll answer you plainly if I can. I know I had wanted that, too. If I can't tell you, I'll say so."
"You've met with Harrowers, haven't you?" Darksight asks.
"One is certain. Maybe two, but I think the second is higher," the hybrid woman answers, brows raising. "They have something like ranks, but it's more about their complexity if not their apparent power."
"He-Who-Moves," the young woman adds a second later, head tilting as she recalls, "He spoke in the voice of a child in colors I never knew existed, behind a mirror. A doorstep. He was concerned for my safety in that place, and spoke plainly, or so I thought. I helped him leave his prison, though he didn't know he was a prisoner."
"I've heard their voices," Darksight says. "Most deepblazers have. Something about being so far from everything opens the mind, I believe. Some blazers pray to the Harrowers, and claim they guide them, or keep them from getting lost."
"Maybe they do," Tasha says, head nodding a little. "They're more simple than the others, the higher ones. I'm not sure how self aware they are, but they know enough to speak to us, and they know what they've been empowered to do. Most have no reason to harm us, so they don't. It may not occur to them, either way. And they do have power as we know it. They can move worlds. They probably know D-Space very well. They seem to exist only on the edge of this reality, because when they leave the universe pretends not to have noticed."
"Are you sure it is only pretending?" the Eeee asks. "After all, we remember their presence. They may just be tidying up after themselves."
"I'm not sure," Tasha admits, giving a little shrug. "The universe didn't tell me and I haven't met a being who can speak for this reality as a whole."
"Next question then, since I was musing on it anyway," Darksight says. "What do you know about lost worlds?"
"I know they exist and whether they're lost or not depends on who is asking," the young woman answers. "I know the Celestials lost theirs, but not where it is. I know there are many worlds that have been hidden, and others whose people are long dead."
"Most habitable worlds have the ruins of long dead people, save some suspicious exceptions," Darksight notes. "You're from a lost world yourself, aren't you?"
Tasha smiles a little. "We don't really think so, back home. At least, we don't in some places. On some worlds." She then waggles the fingers of her right hand at herself. "What told you? Was it the ship?"
"Iria had her suspicions," Darksight admits. "It was the Titanian connection, and the rat-woman that seemed to be at the center of the Silent-Ones leadership contest. It didn't make any sense for Silent-Ones to be traveling with Titanians, unless the Titanians could get to someplace they couldn't. But lost world is inaccurate, as you point out. Hidden world is more appropriate."
"Hidden and protected," Tasha notes, holding up a finger. "Our system is an important point in all the universe. It should never be taken lightly. House Khomen knows that, but they failed." She looks up, head cocking the the side, muzzle working until she grimaces. "I knew that communion was going to be trouble. Nobody mentioned anything about communion brain-creatures, and by the time I had tried it it was too late. Well. Anyway. You should now understand why we need the ship, although ... " She pushes her tongue against her cheek, thinking, gaze dropping. "I think maybe I'm too attached to want to risk the little ship."
"It hasn't been trained yet," Darksight points out, since there's only one ship Tasha could be referring to. "And there are other hidden worlds that have been protected. We're fairly certain that it was a key part of the First Ones galactic civilization. Certain worlds were declared off-limits, to ensure proper biodiversity for the production of future Client species. Terra and Chiropta were two of those worlds, I'm certain. Other settled worlds seem to still be recovering from ancient ecological disasters."
"The Sifra don't like to share," Tasha says of the endless empty worlds. "But everyone wants what they have -- and they know that."
"I don't know that they have anything everyone wants," Darksight says. "If they even still exist. Caltrop is impressive, but it isn't as nice as other stations I've seen - it is just convenient because there's no rent to be paid."
"They used to have more. What you see now is just a little of what was, and they may exist elsewhere. Else-when. Other realities. But they're having some problems here and now; we should hope they keep having them. But I'm not focused on them, so beyond that I know only a little more about them even though I was born on their world." Tasha lays her head back and spreads her wings, wings arcing out, stretching. She uses her foot to arrest the momentum the movement caused. "But no, I guess they don't have something everyone wants. They're still here, though. Somewhere. But it's not my job, unless something goes wrong. Did you have other questions, or maybe you wnat to hear me ramble answers..?"
"If the rambling will be entertaining, please do so," the man says, and even smirks. It's the only real body language he's displayed, something Tasha has noticed with Dr. Knight as well. It must be a habit of those that spend a lot of time along in very small cockpits develop.
Tasha spreads her arms, having to use her hoof to arrest her movement again. "Hokay. I'll guess at things you'd like to know. The being that saved you from being lost was probably a Waymaker. Or the Null. You were in The Way. Harrowers are the lowest level of the Dark beings that aren't animals; I don't know if the animals were made or existed seperately. Above them are the Ogdru-hem. Above them are the Ogdoad. The Ogdoad are as bad as the Sifra, in their own way. Did you know the Ogdoad made the Sifra? It's true. They're the oldest of the Old Ones. The very first. They rebelled. The Sifra want the universe alone. The Ogdoad want to eat it. We'd like it if neither happened."
"More dark poetry," Darksight notes. "I venture to guess that the Ogdoad and Ogdru-hem are not from our reality then?"
Tasha waggles a hand. "The Ogdoad are not. The Ogdru-hem and Harrowers are hybrids. Like myself, but not as amazing." She then spreads her hands again, as if to suggest such things were beyond her control.
"Hybrids of what though?" Darksight asks.
"Here and there. Them and us," the young woman replies, folding her hands on her chest and so beginning to drift in slow circles. "The Ogdoad can't exist here, they're too different. They need agents. Something that can do the work for them, make here comfortable. Then they can come in. The rules will have changed, the universe will believe they can be here. Observers, something like that. The Sifra knew that and stopped them, but their prison can be broken and the Sifra are weakened."
"So, the Ancients couldn't actually destroy or banish these beings," Darksight gathers, "only keep them from acting?"
Tasha nods a little. "Keep them from getting in. I think they're kind of ... stuck now." She lifts a hand then tries to push her first through a home made with her other hand, wedging it in. "The Ogdru-hem can open the prison. All of them have told me so, even the Ogdru-hem themselves. Don't hate them though. They don't have a choice."
"So the Ogdru-hem hybrids are not imprisoned then," Darksight realizes. "Why don't they just release their masters then? Why imprison the Ogdoad but not do so for the Ogdru-hem?"
"The Ogdru-hem are all unique and exist in various ways. Some are spirit-like, others are like this ship. They seem to have advantages the Sifra weren't prepared for or else they waited for the Sifra to be weak. The Ogdoad and the Ogdru-hem don't see time like we do. The one I spoke to said it sees many futures and many nows. They can wait. They know. They may have always planned to do so. What's waiting to a being that doesn't exist in time?" And so the young woman shrugs again. "Not all the Ogru-hem are free, though. Some were imprisoned, maybe even by the Sifra. Some by the ones who came after. The First Ones knew of them, but maybe not why they were here. House Khomen has one."
"Sedu-hem," the hybrid says, sounding out the name.
"Has one? For what purpose?" Darksight has to ask, and finally dismisses the hyperspace map.
Tasha bites her lip a moment, but she decided to answer all the man's questions, so she may as well answer this one. He could be an ally in the future and besides that sad, expressionless look reminds her too much of the Karnor Elite the days after their awakening. She isn't sure she can supply hope this time, but at least she has answers. "They make stator systems from the blood of the Ogdru-hem," she replies, hoping saying so won't somehow lead to an interstellar war, " ... and they may do other things. I wasn't told the details. I may be being manipulated." She cocks her head to the side again, then reaches up and, entangling her fingers much like the vanished map, wiggles them, " ... they know who I am and always have."
"Who knows who you are?" Darksight asks.. and doesn't even blink at the notion of Khomen-built stators using the blood of anything. But the Confederates don't use stators - they're all modified (or evolved) to deal with the long term effects of weightlessness and acceleration. Or else have always had their own form of gravity control.
Tasha knows these things, but like with stumbling in to the communion experience she's never sure what she might say or do will lead to disaster. There's just too many possibilities. "The Ogdoad. They told him. Katha-hem. He told me."
"Could you elaborate on that?" Darksight asks. "If the Ogdoad are imprisoned, how can they still communicate? And who is Katha-hem and your relationship to him?"
"Well they probably told them at the beginning. Or maybe they can still communicate. They don't have to act linearly, you know. They're not like us. Well they are, the Ogdru-hem, but they're also like the Ogdoad. They might not need to learn anything in the way we do." Tasha taps her nose, thinking how to explain beings that use rules outside of her own reality and don't often deal in singular, linear times. "They Ogdru-hem might have known since birth. They can see many posisble futures and many timelines and may be able to move their concious focus across them, where as we only see from one timeline and one time. And the Ogdoad exist outside of time, or did, and they can probably see a lot farther inside and outside our reality. So they knew me. And, um, I guess that was important. I did want to be important, you know?" She shrugs a little; what can you do? "Katha-hem is an Ogdru-hem. We've spoken before. He's kind of like a starfish-spaceship that can see the future and the past and many t
imelines. He's basically one big stator, too. Gravity effects."
"So one could argue that they know all of us and each of us, correct?" Darksight asks. "Basically, whoever they choose to focus on, they see that person's past or pasts and possible futures?"
Tasha considers that, too. Then she nods. "They could possibly. It's hard to explain these beings and I don't know all the details. Maybe I can't know them, because they're beyond my ability to know. But that doesn't seem to be important to opposing them."
"I'm not unfamiliar with the concept," Darksight says. "Those of us that have traversed D-level often find our memories.. out of sync. We can clearly remember an event, then find that it happened differently or not at all when we return to real spacetime. The two-dimensional nature of dark-time means that there is no distinction between past and future, in the sense that all possible pasts that lead to the present are valid, although many will be culled and new ones created as one progresses forward, just as with possible futures. So delving too long in D-space can give you an altered sense of your own past."
"That sounds like what I know of the dark beings. They may have greater control of their own past and future, or, even exist along all of them and use that to pick and chose which ones they like. I'm not entirely sure." The young woman hooks her leg around part of the projector, then pulls on it until she's ancored enough to use her hands to turn herself to face Darksight. "I'm a little different now, though. Sometimes I wonder about that. There's another one, a Harrower or Ogdru-hem or something else, that marked me. I was wondering if you noticed. Or, if you felt the artifact tug at you."
"That would depend on your definition of tug," Darksight says. "After my experience in what I think was a different universe, something about the sculpture resonated with the memory of that.. thing. It still affects my dreams, but I no longer have the hallucinations. But I suspect you are talking about something more physical?"
"Some part -- don't ask me which part or how or why -- is kind of like them. Harrowerish. Ogdru-hem-ish?" Tasha scrunches up her face, considers, but then gives up. "Marked," she goes with. "Because I made a deal, but I finished my deal and I didn't get eaten, so I think we're friends? I hope so. I tried to see the artifact through that part of me, and I felt it pull at me. I think the artifact is from the world where the Ogdoad's prison is, not from where the plaque says it is. It might be dangerous. But it's definitely active somehow."
"The mineral it is made of is unknown, according to my research," Darksight says. "That means it is either a synthetic form of matter or extra-universal. It does not seem to possess the properties of post-transuranic atomic synthesis, however. There are theoretical forms of mass that aren't matter, but I have no way of exploring that possibility."
"Huh. We get alot of that sort if thing too -- I leave it to our science personnel. It's over my head." Tasha returns to leaning back, which really isn't leaning on anything at all, hands behind her head and floating. "Well, I did what I came to do. I hope you like your answers. You're also welcome to come join my crew, if you're feeling lonely here, or want answers, or would like to be around other people who have time traveled or are beyond their own time. Or, you know, why-ever." And so she shrugs. "Unles you had more to ask, or can teach me how to do D-Space things or, uh, I'd be great if I could move stuff with my mind but I doubt that's possible? ... If not any of that, I'd like to go sit with the little space ship. I'm kind of, um, morose."
"Moving things with your mind involves having extra brains devoted to it," Darksight notes. "I can show you more about the bioship though if you like."
"Sometimes I feel like I only have half a brain," Tasha admits, but she pushes off and uses her wings to air break and angle herself feet first for the door by rotation. "But okay, to the hangar then?"
It doesn't take long for the pair to arrive back in the hangar, where Kaa is still waiting. It's hard to tell when a Phin is napping, but Kaa still reacts to them. "You are back-ack," he says. "I have the data now for what will be needed by the baby."
"See he acts goofy but he's actually very reliable," Tasha tells Darksight as they float toward Kaa. She uses the Phin's dorsal to break, swinging around until she can stop herself by putting hooveson deck. "Darksight and I were just discussing how comfortable and friendly D-space is. You should ask him about it, or, you know, maybe whales should."
"I am technically a toothed whale," Kaa claims. "I just don't eat k-krakens. Did you tell him that I am the greatest pilot in the universe?"
"I will once the scratches in my ship go away!" Tasha then pushes with her foot, to that she tilts, making a passble show of leaning heavily on Kaa's noggin. "But you can keep being pilot until I find the greates pilot in the universe without scratches." It's said in mock-seriousness, but she does eye Kaa momentarily before wrapping her arms around his dorsal fin and leaning forward. "So Darksight is heer to tell us about the ship! And Kaa is here to tell us about ship data. We should do something about that."
"Scratches were made by a space-kraken!" Kaa ratchets in his defense.
"The best pilot should be able to evade those!" Tasha leans around Kaa, lifting off the 'ground' to face him eyes to eye. "Of course I didn't know about those until later either. So I forgive you. Mostly!"
"He won't fit inside," Darksight notes, and floats to the sides of the baby starship, where he wiggles his fingers against some of the whiskers. "Each cluster of whiskers is attached to a sub-brain that acts as a thruster."
"Kaa also cheats by having a half-awake brain." Tasha lets Kaa float them both over, having less control without a nearby surface than the dolphin does with his harness. "But that is interesting. And of course they'll all intertwined and communicate with a central brain? Or more than one central brain?"
"There are a few sub-brains," Darksight explains. "The telekinetic systems all use specific brains for specific directions, as well as for the primary thrust and hyperspace systems. Another brain deals with pilot interfacing, and the central brain is the ship's cognition and sensory processor. The sub-brains act more like muscles or limbs to the primary."
"Obviously I need to make my muscles study more." Tasha leans in, peering at the whiskers more closely. Her own whiskers are not half so useful, either. "So it's all a bit like sub-processors? Or other electronic, photonic, and so on so on non-organic systems. My Titan has sub-minds for various things too."
"In this case the sub-brains for drive systems do not process information," Darksight explains. "They are specialized to provide psionic force in a single direction. So more like a muscle or muscle fiber in practice. Everything is ultimately coordinated through the primary brain."
"Kaa processes everything through something other than his brain, but he still manages to pilot somehow." The young woman leans over a little, conspiratorially. "It's a mystery." And then back, smiling. "But so far everything sounds familiar, it's just done in a primarily organic way. Iria said the ships have more personality and identity? I mena, compared to standard ship AIs, but I've met ships with their own personalities and drives, too. I know one frigate that achieved self-awareness."
"Well, consciousness is common for our vessels," Darksight notes. "Their brains are based on our own, after all. They even use a form of echo-location based on gravity waves instead of sound waves."
"I wonder if a Vartan ship would see gravity instead. Probably," Tasha observes, head tilting again. "So, can we go inside? Or, well, me. Kaa is a big fishy."
Darksight runs his palm across a part of the ship's armor, which then opens up, exposing access to an inner chamber. It looks dry, and Tasha doesn't smell anything off about it. It certainly doesn't look like guts anyway.
Tasha leans in, looks around, then sniffs around. "I was expecting it to be mroe wet and squishy," she admits before letting go of Kaa and pushing off so that she's slowly drifting in to the ship. "Well, see you in a little while, Kaa! You have my permission wander around, if they let you!"
"I'll rub against the ship to see what else happens!" Kaa promises.
"The ship is too young for you! You flirt with an older ship," Tasha berrates Kaa, finger shaking as she waits for Darksight to lead her onward. "And don't get any ships pregnant!"
The crew space is a bit cramped. It's likely meant for one Confederate to use for extended periods, or a few for very short ones. There's light from veins in the walls, just as in the larger ship, and the rest of the exposed surfaces seem to be padded or inflated slightly. At the very front is something not so different from Melchior's pilot couch, where someone would lay on the their stomach, surrounded by a lot of soft or viscous looking surfaces.
After having a look around, Tasha turns towards the couch and approaches it. While the couch looks familiar, the veins also remind her of the strange veins featured in the The Way whose makeup and nature are wholly unknown to her. She decides veins may just be the manifestation of a particularly efficent method of transport, and so end up everywhere -- like control couches. "So, this osne doesn't require the, uh, mircobes? Is it like a brain scanning technology like older Terran models?"
"In a sense," Darksight says. "We're inside the brain right now, but it still requires physical contact." He points to some of the viscous looking surfaces. "Bio-gel. The pilot places hands in there." He points to something above the couch. "That's the sensory.. uh.. blob. It covers the pilot's head. And these are the intravenous feed ports on the couch."
Tasha grimaces at the mention of intra-venous feed ports, reminded all too well of the collar and having tubes in her neck. It makes her hackles raise. "Sooo, I won't be needing the feed tubes right, since we're not going to be long? And since I'm not an Aquilian or an Eeee? I tried your drink, I think one more sip would have killed me."
Darksight grins, and pats his bio-prosthetic chest. "Deepblazers have easy-connect implants," he notes. "I'm not even sure a non-Eeee could handle the sensory input from the ship. Well.. a Phin probably could. They're used to high-bandwidth non-visual imagining."
"So I don't get to pilot?" Tasha makes no effort to hide her pout, she even folds her arms. "I was looking forward to seeing what it's like to being a bioship, or, at least interface with one. I don't even get to pilot much anymore. My Titan, or anything! Do you know what leadership is? It looks great, but it's bor-ing. You have to put everyone at a distance, and you can't do anytjing yourself! It's why gabriel always insists on flying everything, I just know it." She stares at a wall then, frowning greatly.
"Oh, you can use a passenger feed," Darksight says, gesturing to similar gel-sites within the cabin. "Those do not have feedback, or deep-sight. The Korvs and Aquilans use them without issue. You have wings, so should not find it disturbing."
And so Tasha brightens almost immediately; her ears perk and up her tail wags. "Why didn't you say so? I talk to you for an hour about all the darknes sin the universe and you tease me. If you're also a smartass, you are not allowed on my ship. Those positions are filled." She pushes off, reaching the indicated wall and then using a series of push offs and leg manuvering manages to get herself in position. She points above her head, indicatingly.
"Rub it," Darksight suggests.
Tasha gives Darksight a suspicious look, then sticks her tongue out and reaches up and rubs the blob, looking a little awkward with her ears askew.
The blob stretches out like a pseudopod, reaching for Tasha's forehead.
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead and grab my head. I've done this before!" Tasha reaches up and waggles her hands in a 'hurry up' sort of way, indicatingthe blod should speed things along.
The pseudopod is cool and tingly to the touch as it spreads across Tasha's forehead.. and then over her eyes and into her ears as well. There's a lot of colors of sounds and shapes before Tasha sees the hangar bay. Her front-left-ventral feelers are extended, and feeling over Lucky Kaa's rubbery skin. She can also see through him, slightly, without any sense of transparency. It's very disconcerting, as multiple senses are trying to be represented through what Tasha has available. The light is also different - fluctuating. But she realizes it's data. The larger Bakumaru uses light from the veins to communicate with, although Tasha isn't really privy to just what is being communicated. It may have to do with how dolphins taste.. because the pseudopod does intrude into Tasha's mouth to make use of her tongue's senses as well.
Having some experience with exotic modes of direct mental communication, the young woman has learned to grin (or not grin when ehr mouth is also full) and bear the experience. The confusion of senses is a bit headache inducing, but nowhere near as bad as the time when she made contact with He-Wh-Moves and ended up learning about a slew of new colors. Impossible, nausea inducing colors -- that she'd like to paint with some time but cannot find in reality. That the light is used to cummincate is interesting and reminds her of the Silent-Ones favoritisim towards using light, and strikes her as clever given it accomplishes multiple goals at once. The rest takes some getting used to, though at least the rubbery feeling of Kaa's skin is a familiar input.
There's no attempt at mapping anything to Tasha's body map. The ship doesn't have limbs or bones or any sort of structures that Tasha would find familiar, and the elongated fins at the back and whiskers along the sides likewise cause some issues, since there's no sense of 'disconnect' from either her own body or that of the ship. And also no sense of mental contact. But it's her wings that tingle the most. The ship doesn't feel the shape of the air, but the shape of space around it. It's a sense that expands well beyond its skin though, so for Tasha it feels a bit like her wings have been stretched out for miles until they barely exist at all.
Tasha would remark the situation is very weird, if she didn't have a mouth full of pseudopod. It does make her glas Kaa isn't here, though, because she thinks he might make a remark about that. And while she can't fully appreciate being the ship, she thinks she migth be able to appreciate what it's trying to tell her. The nauce that's lost, the half-felt experience, the attempt to use what she has to tell the ship's story. It's way of life. Like with Harmonia and the Melchior they can never share themselves fully, but she learns something on the experience. It disturbs her, it always does in some way or another, but it also often makes her jealous or long for something she lacks. Having wings is a wonderful thing to her, and so her own wings feel small compared to the capacity to feel the universe and travel far -- especially when her wings feel like so much of a burden in free fall and the closed confines of a ship.
Eventually the sensations fade as the pseudopod retracts. Tasha is well aware of the stress that having an extra sensorium can cause her brain - it has to do twice as much work, or more, to handle it all. And this was just with the ship sitting in its womb still. There's a slight aftertaste as well.. the ship is still connected to Baku's nipple after all, and Tasha got that sensation as well.
Tasha smacks her her lips as she works her tongue, left hand reaching up to rub at ehr head. "Well, I didn't wake up in a medical facility this time, that's good," she remarks, primarily to herself. She squinst and looks around, then spots Darksight. "That was ... It was very interesting. I think I learned more doing that than all the conversations about the ship combined, but I think I've exhausted myself."
"That is what the intravenous feeds are for," Darksight notes. "During a dive, there is much less information to deal with, but all of it is non-intuitive. The ship is capable of visualizing four-dimensional space, but the pilot isn't."
"I had wondered if what the Source did to me might let me see it," Tasha notes, still rubbing at her head. "I can speak to a Harrower in full temporal stasis by contacting its D-Space timeline. I think. Um, you know what I mean, right? It's hard to explain."
"Communication is not the same as visualization," Darksight points out. "The physical nature of your eyes and brain determine the limitations of your perception. To be able to see in four dimensions would be able to see the entire three-dimensional universe as if it were a flat image."
"Along with all of its past and future.." he adds.
"The ship can see the entire universe, past and future?" Tasha asks, turning to peer at Darksight.
"No, but it can think in terms of four-dimensional direction," Darksight notes. "There's nothing to see in hyperspace. If you looked upon it.. well, perhaps you have. Have you experienced what is known as the blindspot effect? It is where the blindspot in your vision expands to cover the 'view' of hyperspace, so that everything else seems to pinch inwards to a point."
"Oh, that. The Titanians told me not to look at it too long. Now I sort of want to, though." Tasha gives a little shrug. "What? I am an explorer, so we love dangerous things that give us headaches."
"The effect is due to your brain rebelling at trying to process what it can't," Darksight says, and waggles a finger. "Prolonged exposure will lead to madness and brain damage."
"Pfft," goes Tasha, who waggles a finger back, "I collect madness and brain damage. Do you think a normal Vartan would do what I'm doing? Or an Eeee?" her mock-glare is accusing.
"What are you doing that an Eeee or Vartan could not?" Darksight asks.
"Although when it comes to special senses, the Karnor sense of smell is already four-dimensional, since it has a component of time as well," the man notes.
"Could isn't the question. Would. You and I, we do things most of our kind wouldn't. because we all know the risks. It's why. Because we're different." Tasha leans back, then folds her arms and tilts her head. "But I suppose anyone could replace me, it's just, you know, anyone hasn't. I'm doing it because someone has to and I guess I need to feel important. Besides, I don't know what else to do anymore. I can't really go home, I'm not good at much else that exists in this world."
"You're young," the Eeee points out. "Getting good at things takes time. Deepblazers study for several decades before diving. I was in my eighties when I had my fateful mission. I'm at least 100 now.. in that it has been some time since I returned. I have no idea how old I really am, subjectively."
"You should talk to my mate, he's six-thousand-and-something," Tasha notes, grinning a little. But then the grin goes lopsided before fading completely. "Mostly, I talk to people. People like you, people like Kaa, people like Harrowers and people like the beings who rescued you. I think sometimes it's just hard, because I'm always surrounded by experts, or elites, and I always look for more of them to help me, but it's hard not to feel inferior. But I don't even help 'inferior' people, or pay as much attention to them, do I guess I ... deserve it?" She shakes her head, uncertain. "I can' focus on everyone all the time, and I want to succeed."
"Nobody is an expert at everything. Our captain cannot pilot Bakumaru, but he doesn't have to," Darksight notes. "He has more important things to think about and decide on. Success is still success whether it is a group or solo effort. One is just more likely to succeed than the other."
"I know, I know," goes tasha, who waves it off even as she nods. "I've heard it before. I think I must just be tired, or angry about something, or ... I don't know. It's probably not what I said it is, it's just I can try to be better easier than I can fix whatever is bothering me."
"Ah, patience is the hardest thing of all to learn," the Eeee claims, and winks. "We should make sure the ship has not decided to keep your pilot for a pet then. And I will begin her training."
"Keeping Kaa is more trouble than it seems. I know. And it also deals with patience." The young woman takes in a deep breath, then pushes off and stands -- or at lest floats in an upright position that may or may not be aligned to common down. "I'd better get going. You're always welcome to coem join us if you ever need to, but I know you're needed here, too. I'll grab Kaa by the fin, we need to get back to the ship and I need to make sure my friend hasn't eaten all the donuts."