Trying to bathe with a tiny dragon is not so different from bathing with a puppy. Or rather, several puppies and a cat or two, along with a child that really likes to splash and can do so with a tail and wings. The prediction of having a flooded bathroom isn't too far off the mark, but at least Tasha has extra towels outside of the splash zone.
It's also important to make sure Charon is dry before Tasha dries herself (which is another odd experience, since she's never felt the towel against her actual skin before, and the big body dryer isn't very effective either). That leaves facing the strewn about wardrobe to choose from, barring the shirts and other clothes that Charon seems intent on climbing into and rolling around in an attempt to create a boulder of fabric.
It is a daunting challenge. Tasha could barely scrape together an outfit before, and those clothes could be anywhere in the room by now. A winged, somewhat husky-by-muscle woman of middling height (or short, by Vartan standards) with digigrade legs does not easily translate her wardrobe in to something useful by a shorter, slighter human with a decided lack of wings. She briefly considers pilfering Hakeber's own clothes, but decides even she is slightly taller -- and then there's what Liza would think!
In the end Tasha stands with a knuckle on her hip shaking her head. "Charon, can't you magic-space-whale me something I can wear for a while? You could make a whole dragon!"
"I was already working on the exobody before you arrived," Charon claims, head poking out of a sleave. "Why do you need clothes? Can't you wear your demon?"
"We're not sure 'our' demon is okay, Charon. You heard with Old Grumpy Mr. Eyes said. I can't deal with him right now anyway. Dying's turned out to be a lot more stressful than I remember, and I think a quarter of everyone back in the Garden are some sort of mad at me." Tasha picks up a halter top, holds it up, and shakes her head. She fetches a few skirts, deciding at least one might work. It's knee length, so below knee length now. With one of her belts, that should be enough to make up for her smaller hips. The top will be a challenge.
"Clothes are funny," Charon chirps. "Demons are never okay, otherwise they'd be people. Do you have any hats?"
"I do not have any hats." She considered some for Abaddon, but decided they were made for Karnors who didn't have the habit of lifting off in to the sky which, as everyone knows, if full of wind. She shakes her head some more and decides on another approaches. "Wait here Charon, don't eat any clothes." And then she heads out.
A few minutes later she's back holding a few bolts of Liza's clothes making cloth. These she lays out, unrolling a particularly wide one, which has some scissors, a high-tech looking binding tool, and some ribons rolled up in it. She grabs one of her belts and gets to work. "Well, I never thought I'd remake my old clothes on this ship, but here I am." What she comes up with is essentially a cloak, a bra simply made from tying one long strip of cloth in a somewhat complex knot, underwear made in a similiar fashion, and what's essentially a tight, short skirted tube dress.
The underwear goes on first, tied with the nonchalant precision of a task done most of one's life, then the tube dress, and finally the cloak thrown over the whole thing. The cloak has a hood in as much as it has anything, being little more than a glorified piece of long cloth. Once that's all done Tasha cuts some holes the cloak and its hood, lacing the ribbon through to act as draw strings and to keep the front of the cloak closed as a kind of tie, while not being too tight or concealing. It makes her look like a lost shepard. "Well, good enough, uh, maybe?" She eyes herself in a display panel. Definitely like a lost shepard.
"Are you making clothes for everyone else?" Charon asks, with a bit of 'especially me' in his voice that wasn't there in brain-to-brain communication. Maybe he's getting used to being spoiled now.
Tasha considers the little dragon, then picks up the ribbon spool and after a moment has fastened a ribbon around his neck and at the tip of his tail, both bows. "There you go. Now, this is possibly my last day, or even less, as a Human so I might as well enjoy it. Lets go see what chocolate tastes like, then, um ... I don't want to go back to the others yet. Is there somewhere else that's fun to see?"
"There's the forest of candy," Charon suggests. "It isn't here though. Do you have candy here? Who has chocolate? The tinier human, probably. What would you find fun to see?"
"I think there's some in the galley. If not, Yue's quarters." Tasha scoops the beribboned Charon remote up, looking either like a shepard with her lamb or a shepard with her fashion pet, and heads on out leaving the disaster behind. She makes her way across the Owner's Commons, out the door, and to the elevator. "I don't know, I'm too out of it to make anymore important or clever decisions. Part of me wants to just go back to bed, but maybe I'll never get to be Human again, so I should do something right?"
"What do Humans do for fun in your universe?" Charon asks. "I don't think the bird-headed cyborg knows what fun is."
"I don't think he does either, he specializes in knowing things -- especially how to be grouchy." Tasha steps in to the lift and hits the console, descending to the crew level and heading on out towards the Galley. "So, um, I meant to ask but I was kind of afraid to after everything else: How's the exobody doing?"
"It's being recycled," Charon says. "Its cells were beginning to break down. It's not really alive, more like it's made of lots of tiny batteries."
"I didn't have time to make something sturdier," the remote explains.
"How did it go with Thoth?" Samael asks from the ceiling when they pass under him to get to the Galley.
"Oh." Well, at least she didn't let down a living creature, Tasha thinks. That's one less thing to worry about. "You know, when I was part of it, I could see so much. Now that it's gone, I think I miss it. Miss that I didn't appreciate it more, because I was too busy fighting and didn't have time for that sort of thing." They enter the Galley, Tasha walking around in to what she's come to think of as the Shojo Zone where she can't usually enter without the glare. Both Shojo and Lacci have been harder to deal with, but she can't figure out why. "Later," she blurts out as she begins opening shelves, food storage units, and other things in search of chocolate.
There is a secure pantry drawer with a biometric lock on it, through which many colorfully wrapped things can be seen. "Seeing things if nice," Charon agrees. "Humans like to swim. They float you know. They run too, for really long distances. And throw things. They've very good at throwing things. And eating things."
Tasha ponders this mysterious lock. She's Human, but that hasn't apparently come with any special knowledge or tricky Human-centric powers of evading access restriction, so she turns to Plan B. Lifting the dragonette up, she presses him to the lock. "If you can open this lock we get candy," she promises.
"It needs a human finger on this pad here," Charon claims. "I think. Technology is like magic."
"Guess who has Human fingers," Tasha moves the remote to her shoulder and presses her thumb to the lock. "So I spoke to your mom, but what's your grandmother like?"
The drawer chimes and slides out, revealing the chocolate treasures within, like.. which are mainly chunks of chocolate in various shapes with various other things inside of them. "Kind but ruthless," Charon claims.
"So the opposite of my sister." Tasha sweeps a pile of the goodies in to a pouch made from folding her cloak, then reseals the lock. She starts heading towards a table, then changes her mind and heads for the Bridge. Out in the hallway she asks, "Do you think I'll ever meet her? I was thinking of asking your mother for advice, maybe like a mentor? I'm really not sure who to trust anymore, even me, and then maybe part of my crew may have had enough after this? I need a role model."
"Don't know," Charon says. "I'm going to be in trouble for being here so long. My mother doesn't like that, because if there are Ogdru-hem then Auntie Ereshkigal might show up."
"Is your aunt ruthless but not kind?" The Human woman considers how she might fight a Waymaker; her mind responds with the mental equivilent of a person throwing their hands up in the air. "It's bad for you to remain in a timeline, isn't it? Everyone I've talked to says your kind doesn't really speak to any others, so us talking is very unusual. Or, maybe it's not?" Once on the Bridge Tasha drops in to her usual seat, feeling small because she is, then starts unwrapping candies.
"It's just the ones with Ogdru-hem or other outer creatures," Charon notes, sniffing at the shiny discarded wrappers first. "If there is going to be fighting, it has to be done quickly. Ereshkigal is not kind, and I'm not certain ruthless applies either. She is quite logical, it is just a cruel sort of logic. There are lots of universes, some are nearly identical, and she feels it is easier to just dispose of the dangerous ones."
"She can destroy universes." Tasha pauses in mid nosh, candy held infront of her mouth. Dealing with a universe-destroying, emminently logical being would be a lot. A whole lot. She instead puts the round candy piece in to the remote's mouth, nowing he can speak with his mind and wanting to watch a tiny dragon wrestle with a big chocolate. "Well, that's scary. Your mom did say if I kept going from here, I'd have to necessarily stop thinking about this universe, so maybe I could do something about that if I went that far, but I'm not sure if I should. I need to talk to the others when the time comes for us to decide what to do next, but I think I know what they'll say. Anyway, how are your wounds? Were you able to replace your remotes?"
"I'm still working on that," Charon says. "And it's easy to destroy a universe."
"Well maybe for you. I got eaten by a little round baby fighting just a demigod yesterday." Tasha pats the dragonette's head to show him she's not mad at him for that, either. "Do you think we'll meet again, after this is all over? And are we allowed to look at all those ships, or are you trying to keep us away from them?"
"What ships? Oh.. the ghost fleet?" Charon asks, and reaches out to lick one of the candies, thus claiming it. "Why would you want to look at tombs?"
"Exploration, of course! And, uh, maybe looting. We still have a lot of Ogdru-hem to fight and any little bit can make a difference. Oh, I was thinking about what Old Eyes said: He said the Marker is in my head, memetic, not real. So, I can probably just make it appear whenever I want, can't I? Right?" Tasha's brows go up as she pops a chocolate in her mouth. Her brows go up even further at the taste; Hakeber was right to envy.
"I thought it was in your desk?" Charon asks, before crunching down on a round chocolate that spurts out gooey blood. Or maybe a berry filling. "Wouldn't you have to you fire your head at things to use it? And which head is it in?"
"This one?" Tasha then recalls she has several other heads all napping away in their chambers, wondering what they'd think of all this and if she'd have to fight fight them for Gabriel. Life is weird. "Well, so it's in my head, right? Part of me. It was destroyed before, so why is it here now? It's here beeeecaaaause ... " And then the young woman reaches below the command seat, because she decides it just has to be under it.
There's nothing there. Gabriel doesn't stash snacks under the seat apparently. "You may not be yellow enough," Charon suggests. "Mom is Blue."
Tasha makes a very long and dramatic sigh, slumping in to the chair. "So much for that idea. Sometimes I wonder why anyone follows me anywhere." She pops another chocolate in, then turns to ponder the dragonette a moment before asking. "Blue, huh?"
"Blue," Charon confirms. "Not Yellow. Blue. Can I have another candy?"
"Yes. You. Can." Tasha unwraps some sort of bar, wondering how the remote will handle the awkward rectangle, and puts it in his paws. "There. So what's Blue like? I mena, its ... memetic qualities. The Colors are memetic, right?"
It takes a bit before Charon responds, since he's got his head turned sideways so he can attack the candy bar from the side. It isn't pretty.. those crumbs will need to be cleaned up before the cats find them. "It's Blue," he finally explains. "I.. suppose it is calm? And deep. Mostly it is Blue though."
"I will ask you mother." Tasha eyes the crumbs, but can't bring herself to get too worked up about them. She'll seal the Bridge against the cats and have someone remove them. Later. Pulling Charon up against her, she hugs him, taken suddenly by the weight upon her soul and the results of the last few days. Weeks. Months. She remembers her conversation with the distant Waymaker, what she said and how she had been wishing, deep in her heart, that someone would help her. That she had finally had enough, and was tired. She feels an echo of this now, leaving her at a loss for what to say and glad she chose to remain on the ship.
"Monsters," Charon suddenly chirps.
Tasha blinks her eyes open. She doesn't quite remember when she closed them, deep in the serenity of mental stillness. "Are we under attack," she asks, quietly.
"No," Charon says. "But you looked distant. Were you thinking about monsters?"
"Just thinking how tired I am," the Human replies, looking down at the little dragon head, "I've been running as high as I could ever since I knew there was a higher place to reach. I didn't understand how much it was weighing on me until I died. Then, I found out maybe I should have done it better, considered things more, and I realized I rushed in to ... punish myself? Or, maybe because I wanted an easy answer, for once. Saving you seemed like my ... salvation, I think that's the right word. Now that I'm back, I'm not really sure about myself, and I wonder if people can still believe in me. I think I botched things with Lacci, Katie's probably mad ... and I don't know how to handle Sam. I'm not sure where the answer is anymore."
"So? What if you knew the right answer, but it wasn't one you liked?" Charon asks. "Would you pursue it anyway, or try find a better one? Aunt Ereshkigal always knows the right answer, but never the best answer."
"Mmm, I guess the best one. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it? I mean, more than half of me is in a sticky pod somewhere in you. I guess I should stop worrying about it and try and focus on getting better." Tasha leans down and kisses Charon's forehead. "Thank you for cheering me up, Charon. I will never think saving you was a bad idea."
"And I think I will just trust in your mother. I need help I can't give myself. I don't mind admitting that this time," Tasha adds.
"I'm glad you came and fought monsters with me," Charon says. "It's a rule you know, that only men.. well, mortals.. can slay monsters."
"I was a man for like a day," Tasha admits, shrugging her shoulders. "I try not to think about the details. I wonder what else I'll become? Maybe ... a little dragon!"
And so the dragonette is on the recieving end of a monster-slaying tickle attack.
It takes some time to find the little robot that cleans the floors and set it loose on the crumbs. Charon insists that he wants to ride around on it until the vacuum mechanism starts up, after which he hisses at it and climbs back onto Tasha's shoulder. The intercom also chimes, and Lacci's voice asks, "Tasha, are you busy?"
The interplay between robot and dragon makes Tasha giggle, and so once again she saves Charon from the horrors of the universe. She's just about to tease him about it when the call comes through, and looks up. "Lacci?" She'd forgotten Lacci was still on board. "I'm not busy, is there somethign wrong?"
"Where are you? I have a question is all," Lacci replies. There's an echoing quality to her voice, so she's probably still in the hangar.
"Just on the Bridge. I'll come to you," Tasha replies. She adjusts the remote until he's nice and stable, and also not digging in to her shoulder, and then she's off and wondering what this question might be.
Once she arrives in the hangar, the question that Tasha gets is, "Where did you get those clothes?"
"These?" Tasha looks down at herself, knowing she must look like some sort of dragon shepard, perhaps spending her days walking green fields as tiny dragons nibble, lick, and chew everything in sight while also sharing the mysteries of this universe and the next. "I made them? It's a lot like what I used to wear, and those were simple, so I thought I'd just make them again using what we had. They're not that bad, are they?" She looks up now, brows raising. "Was that the question?"
"That wasn't the question," Lacci confirms, but does stare a bit. "Do you mean you made them.. by hand?"
"Well, by hand and by this little machine that binds cloth together. I found it in Liza's room." Tasha smoothes out her clothing, then reaches and unties the ribbon keeping the cloak closed to pull it back a little, showing the dress underneath which is in a light tan to the cloak's white. "I just took what I remembered from before, and, um, did it again? I guess now I know why my old clothes were so commonly used. I never thought about it before."
"You can make clothes?" Lacci asks incredulously. "Just like that? Just.. 'I need clothes'.. and make them?"
"It's really more like I turned a big sheet of cloth in to a big sheet of cloak, it wasn't hard or anything, and nothing I have fits me anymore." feeling surprisingly self-concious, Tasha smoothes down her clothes yet again, despite it having been unnecessary the first time. "Liza's the one you want to ask about that. I think Katie can do it, too."
"So.. it's not just a human thing?" Lacci asks. "You could all be dropped naked into a wilderness and just make clothes and shelter and weapons and.. sandwiches.. from whatever you found?"
"Well, some of those more than others. I grew up on a world with a ... " Tasha thinks of how to word her explaination, deciding Lacci has seen and been through enough where she might as well trust her with more about where she's from. "A low technological base. Actually, a very high one, but so high no one can use it except badly, and everything else is ... made of wood, I guess? Wood and stone. No computers at all. We used animals, dressed in things like this, but the material is rougher. I used to take care of animals, I drove them. Do you know what that is? I cared for their wellbeing, and guided them in to moving things. Our ship, actually. I didn't make clothes, but I had to repair mine and, well, they're really simple you know?"
Realizing she forgot a part, Tasha adds, "Oh and no, not Human. There are lots of different species back home, and we all sort of lived the same way. At least, it'd seem that way from a Galactic perspective. Primitive."
"How did you use animals to propel a spaceship?" Lacci asks, "And one made of.." She pauses, since they did pass a giant, ancient battleship made of wood on the way here. And the Tadpole is an animal, sort of. "So, you come from a line of world breakers, but you did it without machines?"
"No, see, Lacci ... " Feeling painfully lonely, not tomention worn down, Tasha finds herself glad for the company and the interest. Oh what the hell, why not? The whole thing then, she thinks Lacci probably deserves it after all of this anyway. "Lacci, I come from the Primus System. We're what's left of the Expedition, at least I was born there. gabriel wasn't, and Katie and Hake are from a different world than me that has a higher technology base, but we're all lost fleet descendants. The world I'm from is a world where we sail around on airships, or boats, we never leave our world. Or, at least, very rarely. I didn't even know what space was until over a year ago."
Lacci looks uncertain about all of this. "That system is unreachable," she finally notes. "I'm an historian, I know that much. Did you walk between worlds? Fly through relativistic space for thousands of years?" She has the tone of a young woman who thinks she's being teased now.
Tasha leans back a little, head tilting and feeling a little defensive herself. "To get between worlds we used what was left of the Sifran gates. There are these ... " She holds her hands out, indicating a standing object that's leaning slightly, " ... towers that have windows in them. If you step through when the tower is charged, you can reach other worlds. The main one only works once a day, though. Their technology has been breaking down for a long, long time. As for how I left the system, Titanians. I can't say more about that though, I promised not to."
Lacci seems.. mollified a bit. "Ten days ago I would have called you a liar or worse," she admits. "But we're on a ship powered by I don't know what, and came to a zombie planetoid full of nightmares, and I just ate fish caught by hand in a lake in.. a bigger-on-the-inside space-whale-god-thing that's pretty damned big-on-the-outside and I don't know if I've just been hallucinating all of it and that Vartan on Caltrop actually put me in a coma.."
"I feel that way a lot, too." Tasha walks over to sit on one of the cargo crates, putting the remote in her lap then patting the empty space beside her. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm really here, or if I'm still in a pod back on the Fenris. Or, maybe I lost my mind somewhere. Maybe I'm Nora and dreaming. What I mean is, I wonder." She runs her hand down the spine of Charon's remote, pursing her lips a moment without realizing it. "First they showed me space, they showed me how small my world was and that what I thought I knew was all wrong. I could never forget what I learned, so I started chasing after that world that was out there. Then I just kept going, higher and higher, like the moment Nora's PersoCom showed me the truth I became stuck looking up. Up and up, until here ... " She gives a little shrug. "I died."
"I can make you forget all of this if you want," Charon offers.
"I can't tell anyone about any of this," Lacci notes. "Maybe that makes it easier? Keep quiet, don't look crazy."
"It makes me wonder about what else is going on that nobody knows about though."
"No," Tasha says, leaning back like Charon might have just tried to bite her. "Being here is me, it's who I am. Maybe I needed to see this. If I forgot, I'd just do it again, and then who would have saved me? And would I have learned anything? If I'm tired and sad, it's because I was always going to be. I think your mother was trying to explain that to me. It's okay, Charon." She leans in again and bops his nose with a finger. "I'll be okay, alright? I think I need time to sort myself out. Besides, I don't want to forget you. Saving you and other people are some of the things I feel best about."
Looking up, Tasha nods to Lacci. "I'm not very good at the 'not crazy' part, I think? But you've seen some of what I know, so maybe you understand why? I was thinking about all this when I offered you a chance to join, because I knew what comes of it. That's why I wanted you to decide, maybe see a bit of how crazy I am." She then looks around for a moment and adds, "How's this secret: Old Mr. Eyes is Horus's 'son', he's been around for millions, maybe billions of years. he used to be a god back on Terra, maybe Varta, too. Oh, and and Varta's not our homeworld, it's another world nearby."
"You're already sorted out, Tasha," Charon notes. "Did you forget how I sorted you out? You need to be unsorted still."
"I meant in a complex mental adult sort of way," Tasha explains, patting the remote's head. "The 'who am I, what am I doing, and how do I feel about it' way." She nods, then she looks up. "So what did you have to ask me, Lacci? It's probably not more lost, ancient mysteries or 'how do I make an amazing cloak'? Maybe, 'do tiny dragons like chocolate'? Answer: yes."
"I've heard theories about that," Lacci notes, ignoring the dragon's comment for now. "It's common a trope that all of the Galactics have lost their homeworlds. Although nobody knows where the Confederate worlds are, and Terra also contradicts the notion."
"I can't say for certain, but I know that Eve, Progenitor of Humans, created another batch of Humans at some point. That might have occured on another world, and maybe she brough the new Humans to the current one. The world where the Vartan Origin Marker was found is our real homeworld. Charon showed me the two animals we were uplifted from, actually. Somewhere deep in Charon is Tasha, big scary bird and Tasha, something that looks like a Bromthen hog crossbread with a horse. There's a wolf, too. I wonder what they're like, but then I'm afraid we'd fight over Gabriel." Tasha shakes her head, at least she knows herself well in that.
"Or over food," Lacci notes, looking upset at the image. "But.. that brings me to the question I really wanted to ask.." She doesn't seem particularly eager to just ask it, though.
"If it helps you can tell Charon and he can come tell me," Tasha offers, holding Charon up as if he were a microphone. "If you can't trust adorable space whale children, who can you trust?"
"The question is for him, actually," Lacci asks, and looks at the lap-dragon. "Can you fix Shojo?"
"Which one is Shojo? I didn't see anyone that was broken," Charon replies.
"Ohhhh, that." Tasha nods knowingly. "I asked him about this once, said I could maybe find a cure, but Shojo -- and maybe I shouldn't be saying this but -- Shojo has a similiar problem to me. He's got something that could be wrong with him, or could be who he is, and he doesn't know which is which and he can't make a decision because he's afraid if he makes the wrong one he won't be Shojo anymore."
"What is the problem? Is he also crazy?" Charon asks, looking between the two women.
"Shojo was born with a rare disorder, a, um, disease that happens to Vartans sometimes, back on his homeworld. That is, Abaddon, which is also where Katie and Hake are from. He doesn't have automatic fine control of his muscles, so he has to do everything conciously. He's so afraid of it sometimes he wouldn't even hug a child, at least until I put her in his arms." The not-hybrid exhales, looking around and rubbing her dragon-holding arm with her free hand. "We've talked about it off and on, been through a few adventers together, but I have so many people to worry about and so many big problems I never seem to have enough time to help everyone anymore. I'm glad you're thinking of him, Lacci. He's always bee angry. I worry this trip hasn't been good for him, that I made a mistake."
"Maybe I should talk to him then," Charon says. "I don't know if I can fix congenital disorders though, not permanently. I could take him apart and wait for my mother to fix him."
"The first part," Lacci suggests.
"Well." Tasha frowns a moment, then tilts her head thougtfully. "He might not appreciate we're even discussing this. He didn't like I took pity on him either, butthen Aaron took pity on me, so why is it bad when I do it? I don't know. I don't really understand him or you. Not like I used to." She shakes her head. "But we've discussed it, so we might as well act. He can tell us off if he wants to. Talk to him Charon, get him alone and ask. If he gets mad, uh ... " she looks at Lacci for a moment, " ... say it's my fault."
"I can just talk to him without mentioning either of you," Charon offers. "He'll probably assume Tasha suggested it though."
"That is the kind of meddling I like to do," Tasha agrees, tilting her head and smiling. One might even imagine her tail wagging, if she still had one. "Well, give him a talk, see how it goes. I think this talk has given me something to think about, as well."
"So.. taken care of everything you had to do back on the Horse?" Lacci asks. "Because if you have I want to get back to flying.. especially before being cooped up in soul-sucking flat-space again."
"Yeah, I think I'd better before Sam or Mr. Eyes corners me in to another Big Talk About the Universe. Or I do the same to them, come to think of it." Tasha taps the side of her head with a free hand; I'm aware of the issue with me. "Lets hop on board. Might as well see what else I can do while I'm still Human."
When they land back near the lake, Charon goes flitting off without waiting for the two women. Lacci is lagging because she's taking her flight suit off again.
Tasha keeps her clothes on, partly because she put so much effort in to making them and partly because she feels slightly less fragile in them. Besides, she thinks she looks good in them in a excessively clean priestess or shepard sort of way. Her droving clothes were never this clean, no so expensively made for that matter. Without much in mind to do, she simply wanders off in the direction she last saw the others.
"Tasha!" calls a squeaky voice, and Liza soon intercepts the human. "You made yourself some clothes," she notes with approval.
"I remembered my humble origins, and also how to put on underwear without technology." Elastic and other clingy analogues were a decided wonder in finding new clothes. Until then, Tasha had made due with clothing entirely like what she's wearing now, full of manual ties, twists, and binding. "So, how is everyone? How are you?"
"Pregnant," Liza notes. "Everyone else is being lazy while Gabriel is talking about building a boat. Or 'water skis'. How are the monsters getting along?"
"You're pregnant?" Tasha leans in, noting Lisa is a lot closer to eye now that she's a lot closer to the ground. "Ohh, really? Is the baby Aaron's?" Water skis and boats can wait.
"Of course it's Aaron's," Liza asks, giving Tasha a worried look. "Did you think it might not be? Lapi aren't like Vartans, you know. Maybe you forgot that?"
Tasha spreads her hands. "I was eaten by a baby monster sphere while fighting a god, and now I'm a Human taking care of a little dragon who is also a kilometers-long hyperuniversal space fish. I just got done having a conversation with an ancient Terran god about fighting Wizards. You'll forgive me if anything seems possible and it seems prudent to ask," she replies, hands lowering to fold across her tummy. "My old mentor's going to be excited in that tired way of his. Well, if you need any help or time off, please let me know."
"Oh, I don't expect anything to happen soon, it's a pretty recent development," Liza notes. Then she grins and asks, "What would you have done if I said it was Gabriel's?"
Tasha lifts her head a little in the way she remembered the priestesses of Amazonia would do when they were being intensely and politely diplomatic about something and wanted you to be aware of the fact. "I'd have had to wonder how that happened and then had a little talk with both of you," she says in an equally mild and look I'm being diplomatic sort of way. She then claps her hands together, a bit loudly. "Besides, I'd expect that more of Hakeber."
"Oh, Hakeber takes precautions," Liza says. "So did I until recently."
"And what changed?" Tasha always knew the possibility of Hakeber getting pregnant was there; Katherine too, if she had shown interest. It's just one of the risks she takes, though not one she herself could have risked, at least as things stood before. Binding them all together through children and family had been a fond dream, but she supposes this Human self is rather less enchanted with the idea, something she chalks up to the difference between Karnor, Vartan, and Humans. "And speaking of which, since you're so aware of things, what do you think Katie thinks of me right now?"
"She can't get rough with you anymore," Liza notes. "Oh, what changed for me? Aaron proposed so I stopped taking Dr. Knight's contraceptives. But, for Katherine, it is a combination of cultural history and possibly something from her past - definitely something that makes her second-guess everything. Abaddonian Karnors are still a bit subservient to Humans. It does not seem to be an issue for Captain Akkers. Hakeber also isn't one to care about things like 'species' it seems. I'm not going to let Aaron be her cuddle toy anymore, so you'll have to deal with that. The same goes for Dr. Sen."
"Oh no, you three will have to work that side out yourselves. I can help with Hake, but but the rest? I have my own relationships to fix. I probably won't even be Human much longer and who knows what I'll be after that. I think I might need their opinions on that sooner rather than later. Maybe, much sooner." The Human woman glances the way Charon had flittered off to and back. "Mmm, definitely sooner. His mother will arrive soon. I'd like to talk more about this, but I'm sure we'll have time afterwards."
"I'm sure Dr. Sen will survive," Liza says. "You and Gabriel should be able to handle Hakeber though, shouldn't you? Aaron and I will come back after they're done with the latest fish-fry."
"Oh I'm sure if she's a problem we'll- uh, well Gabriel can just pick up her. Unfortunately I am too short for that now, and I fear she'd pick me up instead." What a strange, strange world, Tasha laments, to be shorter than Hakeber. "At least she's cuddily. Actually, I think everyone is cuddily now, Human skin is amazing as it is weird. Sometimes you get these little--" She blinks. "Oh, yes, Peresphone is coming, we can discuss the fine points of Human skin later. I should find Katie."
A short time later, Tasha finds Katie near the edge for the 'ruins', looking.. disheveled. Her hair is a bit matted, and as is her fur, probably from playing in the lake. It's possible this is the first time in a long while that Katie has been without easy access to grooming tools - or just feeling less inclined to deal with her appearance.
Tasha's first impression is of having invaded a private moment. She immediately stops, deciding that ambushing Katherine at her most unkempt might just make their interpersonal problem worse by putting Katie on guard and making her self-concious. She bites her lip and turns to walk away, carefully manuvering aroud bushes and rocks she'd have soundly ignored with hooves.
"Are you trying to stalk me?" Katie says, turning to look where Tasha is hiding.
Tasha's neck does that bump-prickle thing she thinks must be the ghost of hackles from millions of years ago. She also hunches in to a jump, which becomes a stumble, which ends up with her tripping over a rock and going down in some grass with a decided "oof."
"Ah was jus' levin'," the unfortunate ex-Hybrid mutters from the ground, head shaking as she tries to clear it. Her knees hurt.
"See, you're supposed to shout 'Doggy!' before you face-plant," Katie notes, and goes to help Tasha up.
Tasha accepts the help in a way she hopes doesn't seem pitiful, but her hopes go unanswered. She shakes her head at herself and takes a moment to brush her clothes off now that she's out of the dirt. "I just amde these," she complains, looking down at herself. After heaving a sigh and realizing semi-faux theatrics won't let her dodge the confrontation forever, she looks up and offers her most winning smile, which comes off as her most moderately awkward. "I, um, I was just checking on ... you. I was, uh ... " She wiggles her hands vaguely. "Worried. About, um. Us. But this seemed private so, I, uh ... fell down."
"I just finished peeing is all," Katie notes. "Wouldn't be right to do it in the lake where the Phins are. I'm surprised you're wearing clothes. That's.. very Human." She even tries to straighten things up on Tasha, and brush off some ground debris. "Are you hurt?" she asks.
"Only my pride. And my knees." Tasha spreads her hands. "I understand now why Humans became so tricky, I'd put my mind to doing things better too if all I had was this to work with. I completely forgot you can smell my presence. These clothes must stand out like a sparkle in the night." She looks down at herself again, secretly appreciative of being looked after but not about to say it. "I needed to meet Mr. Eyes and Horus, but the baggy clothes were a disaster so ... I made some."
Katie seems to inspect Tasha, and plucks a leaf out of her hair. "You aren't very sneaky," she points out. "Now.. what are you worried about again?" she asks, trying to look nonchalant about it.
Katherine had always intimidated Tasha to some degree, even after they became a pair. In many ways the Karnor is better at all the things that matter and many that don't, she's inspiring, better educated, and could easily be more heroic. Then, there's that special something Tasha could never quite put a finger on, that something that made her a star, and that's intimidating, too. For all she's done, very few people have ever found her to be truly intimidating, elegant, or stately. Like much of her adventure Tasha has muddled through interpersonal relations, while Katherine seemed to be born to charm and lead. That she doesn't has always puzzled the ex-Hybrid. She isn't exactly sure how to admit all of this or even how to incorporate it in to their current problem, but she knows it's important to understanding things between them.
"Well, uh, ... " Oh come on Tasha, you fought a god, you can talk to Katie. It really is a different sort of battle; experience one way doesn't seem to translate well the other. "You see, I though maybe you had, um ... gotten tired of, er, me, and uh ... maybe you realized on the trip here I'm not the ... only ... person with things in their head and big ships and Titans anymore ... and ... maybe coming with me is not as fun as I had made it out to be." She chews on her lip, glancing off in to the brush. "Then you decided to move in with Lacci and I thought, well, of course that's fine and I should have expected it and now ... Now I'm rather dead, a Human-ghost of who I had been, and, well, I know how Humans can be for Karnor on Abaddon and ... "
"I moved in with Lacci because we had guests and needed the space for them," Katie notes, a bit quietly. "We didn't really even talk much. I'm not like Hakeber.. I can't immediately warm up to people that aren't Terragens. We fought wars back home against Vartans and the other Confederates, remember. Lacci and Shojo are alright.. they're sort of harmless. The Eeee are more frightening out here though. Have I been distant?"
"Welllll," Tasha hedges, eyes widening and brows going up as she takes a breath, gaze casted across the scenery, " ... you've always been somewhat distant? Especially at first, back when I thought you wouldn't even talk to me, or really notice me, sort of like a lot of people on Abaddon but more so because you're ... Katie. I mean, you remember how overwhelmed I was, right? And even later, I've always felt you were a little far away, a little somewhere distant. I just thought it was because I couldn't understand your world, and the way you grew up and lived, and I can't. It's just how you are." The Human woman licks her lips, then chews on them again. "I had thought maybe when you were out here you'd have moved on, that was the risk, that'd you'd see how wonderous it can be and you'd go off doing your own thing and ... finding someone else. That it could happen. But because I wanted you to see it, because you seemed to need it, and because I'm weak sometimes I invited you out here. Now I see I was wrong, and that there's something else. Something I couldn't see because I was distant."
"This world is interesting, but.. it isn't really something I can grasp," Katie says, waving a hand. "The technology may as well be magic. I thought I'd be able to help with that armored suit you got at the junkyard, but even that is.." She pauses, and then reaches out behind Tasha's head to rub over the implant studs. "Remember my motorcycle? Not that first one, the one I had in the Pit?"
Tasha's eyes widen a little more at the touching. For the first time, Katherine can see her blush profusely. She's unaware of it herself, a warm feeling in her cheeks she chalks up to inexplicable Human strangeness, even as she feels a little embarassed. "I remember you road it to victory the first time I saw you, that you had a whole team working on it, that the woman who cleans it normally only polishes the bike and that it was custom made." It's said a bit like reciting holy script, something very important.
"Oh that wasn't my bike, I just rode it," Katie says, and chuckles. A Karnor chuckle really sounds a lot more growly to a Human. "The one I'm thinking of is.. finicky. Noisy, rough-ridden. See, that's what I like, machines that feel alive. That you have to fiddle with, figure out their personality. And they feel visceral and intimate. I haven't really felt that out here, to be honest. It's like the machines aren't even machines. The closest thing we've got to that is the coffee maker. The adventure is fun, and doing something more than being a propaganda figure is certainly rewarding. So I've just been.. a bit disconnected it feels like."
"Oh." Tasha, still a bit wide-eyed, nods slowly to this. Gabriel has commented on it as well, and she's certainly noticed it herself. "I see, I mean I know. What you mean, I, uh, mean." She lifts her right hand and gestures towards the distance, back towards the mouth-dock. "I felt that way when we first flew the Dark Horse. No noise, no sense of movement. It's like we weren't even moving, and in some ways we weren't because the, uh, frames of reference and universes weren't sharing, um, data that ... Lets just say they were seperated by barriers. Then there's all the little gadgets and, well, even Lacci feels a bit like that, automatic and simple, but the product of thousands of years of science. Refined, hard to understand, yet somehow simple to interact with. Distant, but different from how you are." She looks back, then puts straight up. "The gods and demons are a lot more personally, even if they're incomprehensible sometimes. I make up for it all by interacting with them, but sometimes I miss the wind, the road, and the sound of rigging. Maybe that's why I sometimes miss my time on the Dainty Mauler. You'd like being a Titanian, Katie."
"So.." Katie starts to say, and leans in a bit closer. "What's the deal with Gabriel and boats? It seems he can't look at a lake or ocean without wanting to get a boat onto it. I don't know what he's like with rivers. I suppose he'd want to knock over a tree and carve into a canoe or something."
Tasha leans backwards a little, getting closer doesn't make her any less wide. If Katie was a little scary before, having her hold her head while leaning in while she's shorter, more fragile, and much more Human is an thrilling new experience for the new Human. "W-welllll, he's a captain right? And water is a sky or space without a ship? He's also very fond of worldbreaking. I think he just appreciate guiding a vessel out on his own, taking command, and using that command to overcome the ... uh, water. Or space. I guess it's like his motorcycle?"
"Boats are not at all like motorcycles," Katie insists. "Except those boatercycle things we tried on our little vacation. But.. anyway, he likes boats and wind.. actual sailing. I like things that are powerful but capricious that I can ride on. You like things that.. make you feel like more, I guess? I'm not sure the others really care or think about technology. For Lacci it's just something that's always there. Hakeber and Yue and even the bunnies are more about people or mysteries. I have no idea what's the deal with Jonas. The Phins are easy too. Kaa wants to pilot, Moka wants to be clever. I don't know what the Jotoki think. Shojo is also inscrutable, but at least there's a good reason for that.."
"I think Jonas just wanted to get away. No one signs up with a scary, unknown crew unless they're desperate, trying to get away from their lives, or a up to something -- like spying. Gods, we got enough people back on Sinai wanting to sign on to The Rake like it was a free trip away from their lives, not that it's wasn't a way to get away but it definitely wasn't free." Self-conciously Tasha rubs her left bicept, the arm that had generally held the reigns. Not free at all. "But as for me, I think I'm a lot like Shojo. I have something wrong with me, but that wrongness defines who I am, and why I try so hard and ... I'm afraid of losing it. Who would I be, if I stopped all this and went back to Abaddon? I'm afraid to be nobody again, and I'm afraid to stop. But ... " She looks down at herself a moment, then holds her hands out; see what's become of me. "Persephone has helped me realize if I go any farther I'll have to leave 'here' behind, and if I push any harder I might not be around at all."
"Persephone? The mother-ship?" Katie asks. "If she's here why aren't you put back together yet?"
"Almost here. She talked to me in my dreams, tried to help from, uh ... " For a moment Tasha considers lying, or else dodging the details entirely. Yet, after admitting so much and having been through even more, she finds she just doesn't want to. Why not admit it, maybe it will help Katherine admit her own problems. Or, maybe Katie will feel bad for her, coddle her, step back because she's oh-so-fragile. She knows that soon she needs to make a decision about her life, decisions, and for that to work she needs the truth. And so, here goes. "From, um, giving up, a-actually. As it turns out dying is ... really hard to bear. It's even worse when you let people down, that'd you'd been making mistakes. That you're, uhm, not sure what you're doing is right, anymore."
"So... something happened to make you think fighting soul-eating monsters.. one of which was a star, and another a planet.. wasn't the right thing to do?" Katie asks, raising her eyebrows. "What happened while you were 'dead' to lead you to that conclusion?"
"You make it sound so understandable," Tasha notes, then she sticks her tongue out. The gesture reminds her that even her tongue is smaller. Token Nora-like sarcasim done, she straightens her robes a little and inhales. "See, everyone had been fighting on the way here, you were, um, distant, everyone was distant really and ... I was keeping away, alone. Sitting with Tatha-hem. I had a lot of time to think if I'd been selfish, or if I was risking everyone for my own weakness in needing to be bigger. Endlessly bigger. Did the universe need me to save it, was it worth saving, and isn't the battle just endless anyway? Then Thoth revealed himself, the very man ... god ... being who might have sponsored for me my own species, and we got along terribly. I got along better with Sam than him. So, then we find Charon, right? And I wasn't sure who to side with, what had gone on, but Charon's so cute and you just want to protect him, so I immediately chose to do so, but he attacked first. Lukthu-hem was defending herself. I don't know if she'd have been friendly or even not hostile, but now I'll never know, I sided against her because Charon was cute. Then I just end up fighting a god almost alone, and it goes how you'd expect, and, was that dumb? Was I being suicidal? Why do I keep trying to destroy myself while fighting?"
And so Tasha throws up her arms in a great shrug of hands and shoulders. "After it was all over, after we'd all met, I was just so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of Big Questions, tired of being wrong and not knowing what the answer was, afraid I'd made mistakes, that I'd been kind to the Dark beings not because it was wise but because I felt I had to to excuse my own existence, like I had to pay for how unfair and cruel the universe is, or anything I did was just as wrong as that. I just ... I j-just couldn't k-keep ... " The woman sucks in another breath as her words break down in to a stammer. She straightens, swallows, and blinks rapidly as she continues. "I-it was hard to want to keep going. I see how it's because I'm uncertain, and I'm like Shojo. But I can't continue to be. I must decide who I am and what I believe, even if it's wrong. I hate that."
"Well, if you don't want to feel selfish, then think about Hakeber," Katie suggests. "I don't know if you'd even have had these thoughts before you ended up Human. Or if you ever had Karnor instincts. Humans overthink and analyse everything they do, and if they don't they feel guilty about it later. You told me how you could merge with Melchior's brain, be able to think a hundred times faster. Now, right now, as you are, if you did that would you spend all of that extra brainpower trying to solve a problem, or just second guessing your decisions a hundred times over? You defend who you defend, and attack who you attack because you have to decide right then. Before now, hasn't that been normal for you?"
Tasha looks wide-eyed for an entirely different sort of reason, reaching up and grabbing her head light it might fly off or explode. "Is ... that it? This is all because I'm Human? I know I worried about all of this before, but I've never been quite this upset about it. Of course, I also never died before -- close, and one time I asked a crystal to show me what it was like for Nora -- but not actually. I, well, I don't regret saving Charon and I did offer Lukthu-hem a chance to surrender ... " She chews her lip again, perhaps because she can't really chew on much else anymore. "But could it be that simple? Alright, okay, lets say it is: There's still something that bothers me, I need to decide how to handle the Dark beings. I can't really fight them and also try to be their friend, right? If I have to make sudden decisions I'll have to betray their trust. So I was thinking, peace and mercy, sure, that, but they have to meet me, they have to want it. Want to be free, want to leave? Fine, okay, lest be friends. Not going to tell me, still going to be a problem? Fight time. I also don't like relying on the Dagger, Thotep is not to be trusted. He might be worse than the Ogdoad, but I can't fight him and them."
"The one that was supposedly 'nice' still nearly broke Hakeber, and we don't know what was really done to her," Katie points out. "And they have their own factions. Frankly, being attacked makes it a lot easier for me to figure out who I'm against than who to side with. But none of their 'help' comes without... something weird attached. I don't know as much about Charon as you do though. Did he have an excuse or reason for attacking first?"
"Their kind is in a kind of hyperuniversal war against the Dark beings, all because -- and I'm not sure Charon was supposed to tell me this --because the Null? That scary being I told you about, the one that I try to wrap my mind around and I just start shaking? The Null is one of them, the oldest. He's an eaten soul that never quite got erased. Sam explained to me what happens when a soul is eaten, and why, and I know now it's annhilated. The Null is the edge of oblivion, the multiverse's incarnate edge The ... " Tasha blinks,head straightening. "The end. The End. That's what's at the end of the Way! The end!" She snaps a finger; got it. Then she realizes she's gone off track, and flushes. "Um, where was ... Yes, something happened to their first and he became the Null. They kill the Dark beings to ease the Null's pain. That is ... That is probably also why the Null met me, then. It was judging me, us, because we had obliterated that Dark beings soul using Tatha-hem."
"So.. what does judgment imply, exactly?" Katie asks. "And technically, I think we can pin most of it on Sam and Tatha-hem if we have to."
"I'm still uncertain about Sam. Thoth thinks he might even be an avatar of Thotep, which is a very scary thought, but maybe he isn't. If there's anything I could ask Persephone to give me, it would be the power to see in to the essence of a being, to see their soul so I can decide if they deserve what I might do. I guess, deserve it in my eyes, but it's important to me to weigh things fairly, I guess?" Another little shrug from Tasha. "I'd feel better, so they'd feel better not being dead, or worse. The Null takes a very dim view of destroying souls without good reason, I don't know how he handles mistakes." Drawing a breath through her nose, Tasha leans her head back as she considers the Null's judgement. "The Null is something more than a god, he's a ... Fundamental, the very essence of oblivion itself. I don't really know how he thinks, other than he's in pain, and as the oldest Waymaker he probably wouldn't have been comprehensible even before he was the Null, but he meets enemies by destroying them. Obliterating them, erasing their data from all the multiverse. Thotep is cruelty. Ha- Mr. Yellow is insanity or pure sanity, the Null is obliteration. I can only assume it's still fighting, but maybe it's not ... Not aware anymore? Something other, something we can't wrap our head around. It has never spoken to me."
"If you could see the truth of a person's soul, what would happen if you looked into a mirror?" Katie asks, and shudders. "Well.. that all sounds too big to worry about. So I'm not going to. It'd be like worrying about the weather. It's going to do what it's going to do, you can either get of the way or hide if it's going to be bad. So, where does Persephone fall in this bad-to-worse lineup?"
"Ugh," goes Tasha in that particularly teenagery way. "I've been talking to and staring at my own soul enough this last year, I've seen, and part of it is off in two crystals somewhere in Charon's belly! When you talk to gods, some of them see you differently, and sometimes they show you." She distinctly remember's Horus's invaders, Atum's splitting of her, her split selves in Charon, Tisiphone, and others besides. It's one horror she's managed to overcome -- mostly. "Persephone? I like her. I'm not sure why, but I do. She's very different from Charon, very ... I want to say motherly, but that's not exactly it and maybe I think so because of Charon. She's ... Charon described her like the ocean. Calm and deep, and now I know she's wise from talking to her. I felt like ... like I wanted to just sit there and let her comfort me. Like I could entrust her to help me, and, well, I did. I told her it was too much and I needed help, so maybe that says it all."
"Hmmm," Katie goes, sounding a bit worried by her tone. "Well, this is the first one you've talked to before meeting them, so maybe it'll go differently this time. It's just that you seem to have been disappointed in your previous gods."
"That is true," Tasha admits, lowering her head and rubbing at her eyes. "Maybe I want to believe too badly, just like I want the right answer. It's not like they're all nice, either. Charon told me about his Aunt, and we're in serious trouble if she shows up. They're a lot like us that way, different people. But as for Persephone, she'll be the one to put me back together. I have no choice but to trust her with all I am, or remain like ... this." The hands come off only to wiggle fingers selfwards; cursed to be Human.
"I'm not sure you're all there as a Human," Katie admits. "It makes thinks awkward for me."
Tasha looks up, eyes wide and a hopefully mischivious grin crossing her face. "Iiiis it because you're used to Humans ordering you around, or maybe I'm too fragile? Or ... " And so the grin falters. "Or am I missing something, like the motocycle?
"Lots of reasons, but mostly.." Katie says, then looks up into the trees before looking back down at Tasha. "Humans are boring. They've got flat faces and little bitty ears and.. I prefer you how you were."
"Oh." Tasha's grin vanishes completely; she gives a tight little nod. "Well. Um. I guess I never did think they were, um, very desirable ... either. I'm not sure why ... Why it hurts to hear it now." She licks her lips a moment. "But maybe that's also something I'm missing. Maybe a ghost can't know she's a ghost." And then she straightens a little, her head tilting just so. "And maybe I understand the Null a little better."
Katie reaches over to hug Tasha, saying, "It's not that you are boring. I was raised to feel that way after.. some childhood incidents. I used to like them a little too much." She strokes Tasha's hair, and asks, "Do you still find me as attractive as you did before?"
Tasha returns the hug, then leans back to take a look at Katherine Vesuvius from a Human perspective. She makes a show of lloking her up and down, then rubs her chin, head turning this way and that. She leans back in, squints, then suddenly she leans in much more and Katie is getting a big noisy and awkward kiss to the front of her muzzle!
"Yah!" Katie yelps after the kiss, followed by a lot of giggling. "Alright.. that still feels like it did all those years ago. But.." she says, and then Tasha's face is slurped.
"Aaahh!" Goes Tasha, who giggles in turn and squirms. "That doesn't feel at all like it ever had," she manages a few seconds later, reaching up to rub her face with both hands. "I can feel everything you know. Everything. My feet -- feet! -- my hands, my whole body. It all hurts more and feels better, it's very distracting. Besides everyone is somehow scarier now, except the Humans and, well, Lacci." She shrugs a little; the world is strange for Lacci being the universal constant of harmless normality. "But, you know ... " And so she leans in again. "I kind of like scary?"
"I'm sure you mean 'exciting' instead of scary," Katie says. "It's easy to confuse the two, since Humans go out of their way to do things that are objectively terrifying for fun. No other non-flying sapients hurl themselves from great heights just to avoid dying by hoping the parachute was packed properly."
"Maybe I'm more Human than I thought, I do hurl myself at a lot of sca-- exciting things. And people." Katie gets a very knowing, brows up, head tilted down look. It's suprisingly on point for someone who can count their Human days on a single hand. She leans nack and admits afterwards, "Since we're being honest about Humans, I never thought much about them until Abaddon. The only Human I really knew was the Captain Astromancer, and I didn't know he has to be Human, so I just assumed he got there ... somehow. I wasn't attracted to them and they tended to live in other areas. Then I found the Elite, and wnet to Abaddon, and suddenly I was scared they might take my new family away from me. They weren't that friendly in New Zion either. Well, friendly but a bit condescending. Then I met Yue, Riddle, and others and I at least liked some Humans. I've never stopped being afraid they'd side against me and take the Elite away, though. 'Family comes first,' Yue told me. So that's how I've felt."
"Wolves have always been part of Human families," Katie claims. "Well.. dogs, but they're just what you get when you mix a wolf and a Human. Or was that a werewolf? Not a Karnor though. Except maybe for the new types. It's... confusing. Humans are always confusing."
"I know I confuse myself, and now also I'm Human. It's probably a good thing I won't be much longer, or, well, wouldn't that just end in disaster?" Tasha spreads her hands, look at me and tell me it wouldn't be. Her head shakes. "And as fun as it is being hypersensitive and everyone being extra-exciting, I do worry I'll forget who I was. Like you told me, and others have told me, I don't seem complete even if I feel that way sometimes. It's like ... when I thought maybe I was Nora. If I keep going this way I might get used to it, even if it kind of annoys me. I mean, feet. FEET. How does anyone like feeling every sharp thing on the ground?"
"It keeps them from getting sharp things stuck in them," Katie claims. "Human feet are pretty amazing, biologically speaking, due to both their cursorial gathering style and long-distance hunting methods."
"The latter was actually a pretty big deal on Abaddon," the Karnor notes.
"They do have millions of years, don't they? Everyone does, now that I think about it. Maybe I should read about that some time?" The blonde woman then blinks. "Oh no, I'm becoming interested in reading. Help me Katie, the Human is catching. Next I'll be celever -- and a smartass!" There's much mouth covering and gasping, ending with Tasha holding her hands over her mouth and tilting her head. "So you -- Karnors I mean -- have been on Abaddon for a long time. From what you said and how you acted, um, earlier, it sounds like something bad happened to you, didn't it? Maybe ... abusive? That's how Gabriel describes what happened to me, by the way, with a Vartan woman. You're more refined than I am, but the reaction felt ... familiar."
"Children like to play together, regardless of what they are," Katie notes. "Rough-housing is a Karnor thing. Humans do it too, but aren't as strong at that age and their biting is weak. So.. I was separated from my friend and told I shouldn't play with humans, that it wasn't proper and we'd both get hurt."
"Oh." Tasha bites her lip, nodding slowly. "That's very sad. I didn't have a lot of friends when I was little, because I lived on the ship. The Rake. So my friends were adults and the ships' animals, and anyone I met ashore. But I was, um, angry a lot, and I got in to trouble. There was biting." And so she gives a little shrug. "It was a long time ago, and it doesn't bother me anymore. I got over it all when I met all of you. Well, mostly. I see that even growing up wealthy, there are still problems, and the more orderly things are, the more restrictive they can be, too."
"So.. is your excuse for wearing clothes that you're scared of being licked?" Katie teases. "Yue doesn't wear any and she's smaller than you are."
"Errrrrm," goes Tasha, who squirms even without being licked. "Maybe not that. It was talking to Mr. Eyes and feeling like I needed to seem more, uh, in control. Gabriel already, uh ... " She flushes so profusely she makes a solid effort in returning to her original color. "I let Gabriel has his fun time, so, um, anything you always wanted to ... do ... to a Human? Anything at all?"
Katie looks at her hands, which still have manicured claws and leathery pads. "Hmmmm.." she ponders, and gets a really toothy grin. "Remember what I said about Human feet? Humans can out-endure just about any other species over a distance. And these woods are really well kept, so no underbrush..." She turns to look at Tasha with big wolfy eyes. "So start running.."
Tasha jerks back a little at the look, eyes wide, lip getting chew. It seems like a moment like she might truly frightened, but then a grin erupts around the chewed lip. She takes a step back without breaking eye contact, then she turns in a twist of robe and hood and she's off running!
Katie gives chase.. and is disturbingly quiet about it. So Tasha never knows how close she might be unless she actually looks behind her.
Deciding she's almost certainly outmatched and undereducated, Tasha has focused mainly on keeping ahead and distance running over tricks, unless those tricks are convienent. A few times she considers flying, only to accelerate and promtly remember she'd only end the chase face down in the dirt if she tried that without wings. Not, of course, that she really wants to escape!
And that's when Katie rips through the trailing edge of Tasha's cloak with her claws, and snarls in a way that sends a powerful jolt of adrenaline into Tasha's heart.
Tasha's squeel is entirely too hectic and shrill this time, she stumbles, and some ancient-yet-new part of her brain pushes past all the fun and games and informs her she needs to run away, and very seriously so. And that's just what she does! She picks up the pace in to a sprint, realizing in a hazy sort of way she's actually faster as a Human, and only many feet down the line does she realize her body is covered in moisture which just makes her run faster because she hasn't the focus of mind to realize why yet.
The forest is probably where Katie does best (even though it may be the first 'real' one she's been in), but there are plenty of artful ruins scattered around. Humans are a type of monkey after all, so she should be able to out-climb a Karnor at least.
It takes Tasha a while to realize she should be climbing something. As an ex-Avian, the ground was never her forte. When all she had to do to escape anyone was run fast enough, jump far enough, or step off the side of a suitable cliff, more complex manuvers were rarely worth consideration, especially when she was stronger than most others to boot. Except now that she's neither strong not capable of flight, new tricks line up as her Human cleverness awakens. She passes a gazebo-like ruin only to back track, moving over to a nearby wall and vaulting it, theneyeing the jump to the gazebo ledge. She won't land on it, but she can catch the edge and pull herself up using her arms and the support pillars. She risks it and jumps!
Upper body strength is another thing Tasha misses right now. But.. she's also a lot lighter. The effort of pulling herself up also becomes a lot easier once the cloak is torn away, thanks to Katie grabbing it.
The adrenaline helps, too! This leaves Tasha in just her tied up underwear, which is the same style she used to wear on Sinai. She uses the pillar to support her feet and scrambles up, then turns to perch on the ledge and grin down at Katie, sticking her tongue out.
And Katie tries to snag her with the hood of the cloak, naturally.
Tasha's eyes go wide, she pulls back, but the hood partially catches her head and she wobbles for a moment before pitching forward, right off the edge! There's a rather shrill scream and then a flailing of arms and legs as she topples off on to Katherine.
"Ahahaha!" Katie cackles, even though she's pinned under Tasha still. "Hoisted on your own petard!" she claims, and tries to squirm free of the larger part of the cloak that fell on her with Tasha.
Tasha sees thsi as an advantage, so shifts her weight to move forward and sits on Katie's upper ribs, trying to use her knees to pin the woman's arms down before she can escape. While she expects to lose, and secretly wants to, throwing the chase strikes her as being in poor sportsmanship and if Katie wants to get the better of her she still has to earn it. "What's what? I can't hear you over how beneath me you are!" She then leans forward, trying to get her knees in place. If her whole weight and arms can't hold Katie, she's never going to. But, rather than use her arms just for pinning, she instead rubs up Katie's ears and hair in a teasingly and mock-condescending sor of way. Good-- ... No, bad girl! Very bad!"
This earns Tasha a tickle-attack from Katie's tail, now she's more exposed again. "I'm a very bad grrrrl!" the Karnor growls. "I'm gonna eat you up!"
"Not under me you're n-not!" It's a mighty effort not to start giggling, both because the whole situation is absurd, but also because she has almost no resistance to the sensitivity of her new body. She suspects Humans must practice it somehow, but she doesn't have any time for that now! "Bad girls listen to good Humans! We know everything! Evvverythiii-iii-" A giggle escapes, so Tasha retaliates by ruffling up Katie's head so much her hair and fur end up everywhere. There's something very satisfying about ruining a starlet's hair and fur, especially when it's somehow guiltless.
And then Katie bites Tasha's wrist! Not hard enough to hurt, but definitely 'rough-housing' hard. Tasha's probably bitten harder herself, back when biting was a practical response to things.
Tasha yelps anyway, realizing she's missing an extra 'hand' in the form of a mouth, and so at a disadvantage. Or is she? Whatever the case she can't free her hand without losing her position and her other hand's grip, and rubbing Katie's head up is far too fun to sacrifice for anything. Katie can be very smug and distant, no, she can't stop the mussing. Instead, she opens her mouth and tries to bite one of Katie's hands to even up the score!
Humans have a lot more taste buds than Karnors. Katie doesn't taste at all the same as what Tasha remembers! Her efforts do make Katie laugh though, which loosens her bite-grip on Tasha's other hand. "Your nickname from now on will be Miss Nibbly!" Katie teases.
It's only slightly worse than 'Rustpuppy', Tasha thinks, and she'd say so but with her tiny mouth she can't say much of anything while wrestingly with Katie's hand. It's a very awkward sort of wrestling though, her vision is much worse without a muzzle to provide distance from what she's biting, so she eventually loses situational awarness and leaves an opening!
Katie may deliberately trying to get her fur up Tasha's nose as well. But then Katie gets her claws into Tasha's bra, giving her leverage to try and pull the Human off of her.
"Whaaa--" Goes Tasha, who lands with an 'ooof' as she slides across the dirt. Dazed and realizing she's just lost, she holds up her hands in a style she learned from watching her cats and Silent-Ones, and tries to wiggle her ears. "As a friendly Human, I offer good will and friendship and how about diplomacy?? Shall we considert this a draw?" She grins, then sticks her tongue out again and rolls her eyes, pawing feebily at the air and ruining the whole thing.
"No!" Katie barks. "You've been a bad Human, and need to be punished.." The Karnor spots a marble pillar, and points to it. "Back against the pillar, monkey-girl!" Her tail is wagging quite a bit now.
"Oh, hostages is it," Tasha mutters, picking herself up and holding one arm over her breasts to keep them from jiggling as she walks. She shuffles over to the pillar, then puts her free hand to her knee, knuckle-first and hip out, and declares, "The Terragens Council will hear about this! And then Yue will probably tell me I deserve it, or something! How do you like that, ankle-biter!"
"Oh, ankle biting.. I'll have to try that!" Katie growls happily, and holds up the cloth that was Tasha's bra. "Hostages get blindfolded!" she declares, and wraps the cloth around Tasha's head to make a blindfold.
Well this is new, thinks Tasha. She's never been unable to see when these kinds of things happen; as a half-Vartan she thinks she might have panicked! As a Human she thinks she's still panicking, but for more scar-- exciting reasons. It certainly puts a thrill up her spine, little bumps she still thinks are the ghost of the memory of hackles from somewhere in Humanity's past. "W-well, I'm still a mighty Human. I can smell you, for one, and I probably have other powers! Now be a good Karnor and get me ... a coffee." She makes an particularly obnoxious shooing gesture with her hands, while still holding her boobs up.
"I'll get you something, don't worry," Katie teases, and then Tasha feels the rest of her underwear being undone.
Tasha squirms, pulling her legs together. "Be careful those are genuine barbarian artisan artworks fabricated BY HAND, I'll have you k-know!" Her voice does crack, and it's so very hard no to giggle. Plus, her body is getting very wet -- in that way Humans seem to do.
"This shouldn't be used to soak up Human sweat," Katie claims, and ties one end to Tasha's left wrist. "Now don't struggle too much," she teases. It sounds like's she moving around behind the pillar.
Tasha does consider squirming and running, but decides she's not a great enough Human not to be on her face ten feet away from tripping on something, so she stays put. It's not exactly the first time she's been tied to something, even not counting the jokes about her and Gabriel, Blackwings liked to do it now and then and more than one lover has at least pinned her own, including Gabriel. Hakeber tried once, but Hakeber has the strength of wet parchment, so Tasha couldn't take that seriously -- though things may have changed. By the time she's done considering these things she'd tied to a pillar. "Am I to be sacrificed to a dragon? OH. RIGHT." Tongue out.
The other end of the cloth is tied to Tasha's right hand.. and then it feels like Katie has left her alone! The Karnor is very good at moving around silently.
Several minutes later. "Um. Kaaatie?" Pause. "Did you get me that coffee? I like cream and sugar." Seconds later. "I'm going to have to explain to Persephone why I'm naked and tied to a pillar, aren't I?" It does feel like an appropriate end to her stint as a Human, somehow.
It's another few minutes, during which she's stopped sweating at least. Then she senses movement around her, but things are still quiet. And then there's a very soft touch on her thigh. Did Katie find a really fluffy towel?
"It's exactly what it looks like," Tasha tells the mystery towel, assuming it is Katie, but just in case she'll take the inititive and self-deprecate. "A terrible wolf-woman took advantage of my delicate and harmless Human self. It is very sad."
"Oh, it's going to be a lot sadder then," Katie says.. from some ways off. There are more soft touches. Two.. three.. four? All at once, petting Tasha's sensitive skin.
"Did you multipy?" Tasha's pretty sure Katherine doesn't have any magical abilities, or psychic ones for that matter. A robot? Haunted towels? She squirms, whatever it is it's awfully close to places and she can't do anything about it. One thing Katherine can do, she realizes, is tie a solid knot. She'd make a joke about that, if she wasn't preoccupied being molested by who-knows-what-now.
At least some of the caressing seems familiar. And when larger sections of 'towel' brush up against her, Tasha gets a pretty good impression of.. Liza. Lapi hands don't have pads, they're all soft fur.
Of course, that would mean that the other pair, which have stayed pointedly away from the more sensitive areas, probably belong to Aaron.
"You turned the Lapi against me! I see what this is, it's muuutiii--" The declaration only goes so far, because Tasha starts giggling. It takes her several seconds, then she wheezes, "Oh fine. I'm sure, who else, maybe Kaa? Or maybe you'd like Kaa, Katie? He tried to grab your tail! Who else, maybe Moka?"
"Don't be silly, it'd take them forever to get here," Katie points out. "It's better if you're in the water with them. You two are supposed to get her all warmed up, she shouldn't be giggling."
"Aaron won't tell me where a Human is most sensitive," Liza notes.
"Earlobes," the buck claims, and rubs one of Tasha's earlobes. Is that what they're for?
"I thought you'd be more useful," Katie complains.
"I think I'm winning somehow," Tasha declares. "So much for Miss Super Spy!"
"Hold her legs," Katie responds coldly. The Lapi.. do so! So now Tasha is also a bit more exposed.
"What are you doing with your fingers, Katherine?" Liza says. "I didn't know you could move them so suggestively."
Tasha swallows, but she lifts her head too. "Remember who pays your bills, and I'm sure I did something for you too, Aaron!" She pauses, then: "You can't intimidate me with things I can't see. I can't see them. The darkness is my ally! Ask Sam!" Another pause. "Um, don't actually do that! I'm serious! It's dangerous."
"That's really creepy, Katie," Aaron notes. "I'm going to close my eyes now, or I might learn something."
"Darkness is everyone's ally, Tasha," Liza points out.
Tasha leans back. "I'm already sacrificed and offered to various gods, you can't do it again without ... some kind of financial complexity! It will be bad!"
A strong hand presses against Tasha's shoulder, and the other one.. cups her down below and manipulates things. But then comes the bite! Katie can almost get her jaws all the way around Tasha's newly thin neck.
This results in Tasha gasping, first because those fingers are cold, then they're places, but having jaws around her neck is very alarming -- and therefore stimulating. She breathes harder, otherwise having frozen. She's got nothing smartass to say now, it seems!
"My, what big teeth you have, Katie," Liza says into the growly gap. The Karnor also pinches Tasha.
This produces exactly the reaction Katherine was looking for, which was Tasha giving a little jerky hop, gasping, but decidedly not squiriming given where her neck is. Droplets appear across her brow and body, even as she flushes in more places than just her cheeks.
Tasha's temperature rises quite a bit more over the next ten minutes. She can't be sure, but she thinks one or both of the Lapis use her legs as salt licks. "Now," Katie whispers huskily into Tasha's ear. "I like my coffee black."
Tasha pants heavily, and huskily at that, eyes half lidded and rolled up. "Hoookay," she breathes, much of the fight having gone out of her after ten minutes of focused attention. "Whaaatever you whaaant, Kh-kaaatie."
"Untie her, so I can carry her over my shoulder back to the lake," Katie says. "She.. needs a bath."
"Well, she's smelled worse," Aaron says, and unties Tasha's wrists. Nobody goes for the blindfold though.
"Uhhh," as all Tasha has to say about that, and unsteadily at that. Her legs don't really seem to work and every point on her body feels everything else, and so it's almost too much. She slumps when untied, heading for her knees.
Katie catches her, and lifts her up. She is strong enough to carry Tasha now. So she heads back towards the lake and the 'camp' set up there. Tasha can just hear Aaron say, "Why are you looking at me like that? Put.. put down the cloth Liza.."
It's always seems to be noon in Charon's garden, until the light begins to dim. Tasha is pretty worn out at that point anyway, and is comfortably sprawled atop Katie and Hakeber. From that position she has a good view of the dimming line of light, getting to see the opposite side of the 'world' in better detail before it goes completely dark. There aren't any stars, of course.
But then wisps of aurora begin to appear.
"And somehow I thought it'd always be Summer here," Tasha says as she stretches out her right hand, splaying her fingers over the dimming light-line and the darkening world. When the aurora shimmers in to view, she adds, "Oooooh, very pretty. The Waymakers have a sense of style, don't you think? Or maybe beauty? Or artistry."
Neither of the Karnors forming Tasha's mattress at the moment respond. Katie at least is usually a light sleeper though. The aurora begins to grow thicker, and seems to actually be coming in from one side of the tube-world.
"Now you're just showing off, Charon." But Tasha pats the ground soil anyway; nice job. It's pretty, she's teasing, and everything is so many types of mellow right now. There's very little in the world -- such as it is at the moment -- that could make her feel more than relaxed, and aren't the dead supposed to rest in peace?
Charon's remote hasn't been seen since he and Tasha returned and it flew off to talk to Shojo. Streamers of glowing plasma continue to stream across the enclosed sky, and new streamers begin to flow up from the ground nearby as well. Tasha is the only one to notice, since everyone else seems to be deeply asleep. There isn't even any snoring.
The Human has that experinced itch that suggests maybe something is amiss, but she really does hope it's wrong. She would hate to have to fight anything right now, or even to get up. Karnors make excellent pillows, she's found, and more so when your made of touchy-feely skin. "Maybe it's a light show?" She watches the colors drift onward. "It's probably a light show."
A sheet of light washes right over Tasha next, causing her to tingle and discover that Humans do have fur, it's just extremely short and thing and barely noticeable until the tiny muscles at the base of each one all flex at once, making her skin bumpy. It seems of minor concern after the light passes and Tasha is lying on the grass, looking up at stars. The grass is much cooler than Hakeber and Katie's bodies though.
"This is a very good lightshow," Tasha remarks, moving her hands behind her head as she shifts seemlessly in to the new vista. Somewhere between raw experience and having been worn down and worn out, she transitions so easily she doesn't even think to question how easy she did so. "Hello stars. It's been a while."
There's a sound like wind-chimes, although there isn't a breeze, and Tasha hears, "I'm proud of them."
"Well you should be, I haven't even made one." Maybe some day Tasha will make a star, or be one, either literally or figuratively. Now and then in her life, all things seem possible. The further she travels, the less that thought seems like a motivational, figurative though, but literal one. "I guess it's my time then, Doctor?"
"If you want it to be," comes the reply. There's definitely a presence.. several.. next to Tasha. But actually looking would make things definite, and she may not necessarily want that at the moment.
"Well," goes Tasha thoughtfully, head tilting, " ... I am feeling just very relaxed. I think I handled the immediate things, and now I'm just ... Well, I said relaxed already. At ease. Retiring. Restful. Splayed out. And so on. That sort of thing." She draws in a deep breath, closes her eyes, and holds it for a long moment. She then exhales and sits up, rubbing her nose. "Hoookay. Well. This is probably the best time, everyone's nice and asleep and I'm better than I have been since the whole 'get snacked upon' problem began, who why not now? Why not." The young woman stretches. "Still, I was expecting you to be more singular."
There's a dragon made out of shifting sheets of sapphire next to Tasha. She's idly petting the Tasha-wolf, and the Tasha-bird is perched on her shoulder. Tasha-boar-thing is asleep against her side. "Nobody that thinks about their own thinking is truly singular," Persephone claims. "Welcome to my little universe, Tasha."
Tasha rolls over on to her side, proping her head up on her arm as she takes in the deep blue dragonness, or something very much in the appearance of one anyway. Her eyes then flick to her pieces, all cuddled or otherwise comfortable; she's unsurprised to realize it makes her feel left out. Hakeber and Katherine are elsewhere at the moment -- as good a relativity as she can fathom -- leaving her without. "It's very nice, though I've only seen a little piece of it." She then points a little at a free spot next to the dragon's leg and mouthes, 'Can I go over there?'.
"Of course, I enjoy close company," Persephone notes, and nods her crystalline head, which causes more wind-chime sounds. Not all of her pieces are actually connected, Tasha can see. Her wing-parts just sort of float together with gaps between them. "You should be comfortable."
"Comfortable took some discovery. Being Human is either being very comfortable and feeling everything, or being very cut and bruised easily ... and feeling everything." Tasha pulls herself up, then scurries over before dropping right back down again in something of a slide before settling down fully. She looks a bit uncertain as to just which part of the dragon made of music, crystals, and connection defying geometry is suitable to rest oher head, so she opts for where she's be soft, and tries the upper mid arm area. "Looks like all of me is comfortable now. Well, except white and black crystal me. Or not me, as the case is." She arches her brows, knowingly.
"I was uncertain that they were parts of you," Persephone admits. "I can see why Charon did not want to attempt recombination on his own. What parts of being Human have you enjoyed the most?"
"I think it's a toss-up between touchy-feely skin and being so flexible. Oh, and not sinking in water is also very nice. Sometimes, it feels like I'm made of air, I'm so light now." After deciding her current spot is indeed comfortable, Tasha rolls over to study her other pieces now that they're animate. She's entirely unsurprised they're just as cuddily as she is, though it's still hard for her to fully accept that they're just as much her as she is, just in other ways. Oh, she can accept the I-am-many aspect, and she's always known she tended to splinter internally over if she was Karnor, Vartan, both or neither, but the full bredth of their herness is somehow awe inspiring. She considers trying to pet one, but it raises many existential questions.
"And what have you disliked the most?" the dragon asks, idly stroking Tasha-wolf's fur.
Tasha watches this. It -- she -- does look very pettable, but then there was that whole thing with Nora and her other copies, and maybe she shouldn't. There could be complications, if she did. Still, tempting. "I think it's how fragile I feel. Everyone treats me like I'm going to fall apart if I stub my toe, which is something I can do now and it hurts. I don't think I could have protected Charon like this, or, well, did a lot of what I've done in the past. I'd have to change how I live, rely more on technology or others, and I already feel a little too pampered and useless sometimes. I mean sure it's nice, but it's also ... not nice."
"Not one for feeling petite and dainty?" Persephone asks in mock surprise. "That might explain this Blackwings spirit. Is she another person that is haunting you, or an alternate version of you?"
Tasha's lip curls up. "Eegh, her. She's my ... " It's about here Tasha remembers just how awful the whole story is to tell, which is why she's never really told anyone else the whole story. Many people know pieces, but not the full weight of awful that is Blackwings. She exhales again, giving in to the need for self comfort before telling the tale. And so, Human-Tasha gets up and sits beside Wolf-Tasha, and pets herself. She could use the extra comfort, which is technically some kind of self-feeding circular loop, or something. "And yes, I grew up big and tough, or well small and tough. It takes getting used to, Miss Giant Dragon-Fish. Anyway ... "
Deciding honesty is the best policy with someone who literally holds her life and soul in their hands, Tasha explains, "Blackwings is my ex-lover. My first love, too. A pirate, but I felt angry and insignificant back then and she was big and important, so of course she fascinated me. Then I started my whole journey, met her later and sort of ... um ... A sharp inhale. "Sort of, er, I mean ... Alright, I can do this: I stabbed her. She was going to be executed in an awful way, so I stabbed her for being awful, and to save her from being tortured. I still don't exactly know why I cared, but I guess I can't let go easily?" She shrugs. "I guess."
"And is it guilt that binds her to you still, or something else?" Persephone asks gently. "Is there anything of her you would keep?"
"Oh it's probably lots of things, I just haven't had ... I don't know, time for her, I guess? She's a ghost in my head, I can't bring back the dead, you can and Charon can, but what could I do?" Tasha realizes she sounds a bit agitated, though she knows it's not Persephone's fault and these questions are important to her future. And so, she tries again. "Okay. Well. Calm. What is Blackwings to me ... I mean, besides my old lover who I do feel guilty about. Why did I kill someone I cared about for people I barely know? And is Blackwings a terrible person because she was treated terribly and didn't have luck on her side? And what does that say about the decisions I make, or Dark beings? Now that I think about it, I think she and I are the whole reason I'm having a lot of problems with the universe and it's fairness, or lack there-of. Horus says I should think about cause and effect rather than morality, but if that's so, then is ... fate my enemy? Reality? Some god somewhere, who decides everything? Will I learn something if I ask you to save her, or will she betray me? Does she deserve it? Do I?" She shakes her head. "Complicated."
"I can offer to filter what goes back into restoring you," Persephone notes. "I'm the god of a universe with no sentient life, after all. I'm not the one to hand down moral commandments or judgments. So, I can only defer to what you want, since I can't really determine what you need.. but I have a good idea of what you should have. So consider carefully: despite the complications, is there some benefit to having this woman's experience available to you, even if only as a bad example?"
"Well, she is good at dealing with other awful people, and if I help her then maybe I can answer the question of whether helping someone -- even if they may not deserve it -- can change their life for the better. Maybe fate is cruel, but I don't need to be, I can try and make up for it. Maybe she'd be someone different, someone better, if she only had a real chance. A chance to start again, like I did?" Tasha shrugs. She looks to her Wolf-Self, but doesn't expects any insights. It's hard being the one charged with sentience and complex problems. "Annnd, I suppose she is funny sometimes. She's good with a sword, as useful as that is in space. She's very competent at what she does, even if she got caught, it took elites to do it. She has a lot of experience, in, um, many things." She briefly considers adding 'blushing' to the list of bad Human qualities, but that would draw attention to it. "And, well, can she be worse than Sam or Tatha-hem? Or Thoth, he's extremely grumpy, more so than his father. So, uh, yes?"
"Then I will put her back with you," Persephone says. "Her nature is odd however - not a true ghost. Do you want to be able to access her whenever you need to?"
"She's going to be mad I didn't bring her back to life, you know." Tasha sticks out her tongue, biting it, in a look of overwhelmed distaste. Well, I tried. Does close count? She has no idea, but she might eventually. "She's a Sifra-system sort of fragment, a ghost ... piece? The Xils have their own multiverse spanning technological wonders; I have very little idea of how it works." A shrug. "I guess I could access her whenever. Before I could only do so within their 'probability field' regions, and those are rather shakey these days."
"She is far from complete, but should suffice as an imaginary friend, shoulder-devil or anti-conscience," Persephone notes, and then.. for whatever reason, pokes Tasha in the belly with a crystal talon. It's a playful poke, however.
Caught completely off-guard, Tasha hunches over in a sudden defensive curl and lets out a burst of giggling, clutching her tummy. She grabs the taloned finger and holds on to it, first as reflex, then because, well, it's a giant taloned finger made of crystal and the literal hand of god -- at least in this universe. "Wow Miss Shinypoke, just because you can pet all the rest of me and you're a real god doesn't mean you can go around poking me when you want to. You have beautiful talons, by the way."
"/Thank you,/" Persephone replies. "/I wanted to see if you would giggle./ Now.. about the Lliogor spore; have you made a pact with a demon, or was it just a hook-up?/"
"Oh, and you can poke me when you want to. I know you wouldn't zap me because I have been with Charon for days, but also I mean Miss Shinypoke in the nicest of ways." Tasha turns back to beam a smile, then makes a show of sliding over to rest her head between her wolf's butt and the dragon's side. It's reasonably comfortable. She looks up, brows raised. "The ... spore? You mean the dark blob part of me, is that what that is? The Source gave me that, it was some sort of Mark for our agreement. The Marker for information. So ... " She squints. "I'm not sure?"
The crystal head tilts to one side. "The Source? Did it explain exactly what it was doing?"
"Just that it was the mark of our agreement and that it allowed me to have a connection to it. I've used it before, to talk to other beings like the Niss. Some entities can speak to me through it. I think that's what Tatha-hem does, too." Tasha tilts her head the opposite direction. "The Source is a ... I'm not really sure what it is in the Dark heirarchy, I just know it's trapped in a universe or dimensional prison and has been translated in to the lower dimensions, all by the Sifra who-knows-how-long ago. We talk, now and then? he didn't eat me last time, which i consider a sign of our friendship."
"You have odd definition of friendship," Persephone points out. "So the spore is useful to you for now?"
"A lot of my friends are Dark beings, god-like beings, actual gods, and right now people with pointier and bigger teeth than me. Not being eaten is an quality I value in all of them," Tasha explains very matter-of-factly. "And, well, putting up with some manner of strangeness and sinister ... ness is a valuable skill when working with beings as different as, well, Dark beings." She then nods, albiet uncertainly. "Why do you call it a spore and not a mark? A spore sounds like something that comes off plants, it sounds very much like something more than a mark. I'd like to know if I was tricked somehow." She does not add, 'again'.
"What did you think a mark was supposed to be?" Persephone asks. "These beings are servitors, and part of their function is to create more servitors. It will take over your body under the right conditions."
"See, I made the deal and, um, friends only a few months after I learned space existed and the sky didn't go on forever, and learned to read by brain injection. I wasn't exactly knowledgeable back then. I didn't even know what the Source was, he was my first 'alien-alien'. In a way, meeting him was how I shaped meeting everyone else. I really didn't know a lot back then, I still don't." And so she throws her arms wide in a shrug of limbs, then rub-rubs the wolf's side because it's comforting. "So all this time I could have turned in to ... something like Sam? What are the right circumstances?"
"Had Lukthu-hem known about it, I suppose she could have activated it and taken you over, if the Source is of a subservient class," Persephone says. "It did not take you over when you were 'killed' however, so possibly did not want to reveal itself to Lukthu-hem. It is not sapient, precisely. If you were killed under different, less catastrophic circumstances it might animate or transform your corpse in order to fulfill its directive. It does seem bound to you specifically, however, which is good to know."
"Maaaybe you should remove it. I'm starting to doubt my choice in allies and friendships lately, especially since I have no good way to really deal with Dark beings and their servitors other than 'try to kill them' or 'hope they don't turn me in to an imp'." Tasha pulls her hand back to rub her face. "I thought the same way about them as Blackwings, that it wasn't exactly their fault, and really some of them aren't that bad, or at least seem so, but I can't do anything about how easily compelled they are, and all the Ogdru-hem are a danger to this universe -- they even told me that themselves. So, what can I do? Do you know? Can I free them? Could I ... convert them like they could me?"
"They are what they are," Persephone notes. "There is no freeing them without changing them, which is no different from destroying them. Whatever they were would be gone. The situation with you and your spore is complicated, as you like to say. You would be breaking your pact if you remove it. Fulfilling the pact would, presumably, result in it being removed."
"That's the problem, I'm not sure what my pact is now. It was supposed to be Marker for information. I gave that information. Horus even told me I no longer had a burden on my soul, he was very uncomfortable working with me while it was there. We didn't agree on anything else, there was no other exchange, no deal, no word from anyone about a burden. It's just ... there." Tasha waggles her hands in a there-emphasizing fashion.
"Do you wish for me to dispose of the spore then?" Persephone asks. "I cannot divine any hidden purpose it may have. My kind has not exactly studied them extensively. This may be the first time finding one in a dormant state."
"Want to study it for a while? Maybe we could both learn something, and it's not like the Source has ever hurt me. I used to visit it and just ... talk. I used to feel safer around it." Remembering that detail causes Tasha to exhale a ragged breath. "Maybe I'm not very good at this?"
"It is essentially a.. pre-child," Persephone explains. "I could only study it by implanting into a sentient being, which I do not feel comfortable doing. Unless it is you, since you were already its host. Did your demon every mention detecting it?"
"No, actually. Neither did Horus ... or Thoth. OR Atum. Or Leviathan. Which is very strange, because I'm sure I saw it when I was speaking to Atum, in as much as I was seeing myself in that way the Vril-ya do. The Niss can communicate through it and I think some of the Ogdru-hem were at least talking through it, but everyone just seemed to ... ignore it. Or not see it. It's been there for almost as long as I've been out here, but no one ever seems to really notice it -- even beings who probably should. Just, well, you." Tasha shrugs; she has no idea. "It's been useful, but I always worried about it. But, since none of my seniors said it was a problem, and my inquiries didn't reveal anything, I just let it be."
"There are many means of gaining the ability to communicate with such entities, so they may not really care about the method," Persephone suggests. "Without it, you would most likely loose the abilities it granted you though. It may be a symbiote specifically for communication, rather than a parasite waiting to take over your body."
"Can you ... " Tasha does the vague finger wiggle again. "Fix me so I can do that without the risk of turning in to an imp?"
"It is not a biological function," the dragon notes apologetically. "I can combine it back into you, but I cannot extract a specific ability from it, anymore than I can control which memories comes with the Blackwings construct."
"I'm okay with not being entirely biological," Tasha admits, giving a little shrug. "Charon is and so are you, and I have two friends who are robots. I also have wires in my head. I know that's not exactly what you mean, but I thought I should mention it." She then tilts her head a moment, and asks, "Does that mean you don't work with anything non-biological? Isn't Charon's body made from inorganic machines? I know I saw things that looked machine-like. I'm not sure if ... if ... " Squinting. "[Timestone]?" End squint. "Counts."
"It is more that it requires something that matter and energy are not equipped to perform," Persephone says. "You may as well call it supernatural, since dark beings do not follow the same laws we do. I and Charon are quite biological, if not wholly organic. There are many types of biology, and we incorporate all of them. We do not have foreign parts."
Tasha scratches her nose as she digests this, then simply nods and drops back against the dragoness. "Well, who am I to argue with the dragon god? I don't think I can say either way that the ... spore ... is safe or not. It's useful, but not known to be safe. That's about it. As for you and Charon, that's interesting. I had thought you might be the highest forms of biological life known to any being I've met, like ... it's champion in a way. I guess I wasn't far off."
"Well, we do have nerves that operate faster than light," Persephone admits. "It does often make it difficult to converse with other civilizations that use technology however, without face-to-face contact. You should speak with your demon about the spore when you return, but for now it is probably best to return it to you."
"Well we have been through a lot together, I guess w're attached?" Tasha laughs, if a bit obnoxiously, then swats her wolf-self's side to ensure she is aware of the joke she had made. "Ahem. So what else did you want to know?"
"Do you like children?" the crystal dragon asks Tasha at the invitation.
Tasha tilts her head at the question. She thinks back on all the children she's interacted with and decides she must, and certainly more so now than two years ago. Titanian, Silent-One, whales and Waybuilders, she's hugged a lot of children in her adventures. More, she thinks, than someone who was apathetic to children would have considered. She remembers Shojo and the young connie, and smiles. "I think so. Atum told me that Thoth would help me create my own species, but Thoth and I don't get along very well. He's a lot like his father, maybe even more stubborn? Ahriman seems very my-way-or-else." She shrugs with her hands. "But maybe it's better this way? My life is very dangerous. I like Charon enough to have died for him, just because he was afraid. So, I must."
"And do you have a mate?" Persephone asks next, bringing her head down to look Tasha more in the eye.
Tasha looks very wide eyed at this. She opens her mouth to respond, but then pauses. A sly little grin crosses her face and she makes a show of covering it in surprised embarassment. "Well I do have two people, but Charon is very cute. Don't you think you're a bit hyper-advanced for me? Not that's really stopped me before." And so she bats her eyelashes.
This actually causes the dragon to blink, proving she does have eyelids, even if they are still a bit translucent. And they go 'tink'. "You are funny," Persephone responds. "And if by hyper-advanced you mean that I know positions that require more than three dimensions.. no, I do not. I wanted to know about any current mate or mates that you have."
Tasha waggles a hand at the dragon; don't worry about it. "I'm just teasing. I'm in a good mood! I haven't been feeling very well since I, uh, died?" She shrugs, then drops back down to lay on the wolf version of her butt, arms folded behind her head. "But considering how lovable Charon is, I bet you would be every bit as wonderful as I think you might be. To answer your question: Gabriel T. Akkers and Katherine Vesuvius are my mates. They're the big grey-and-black Karnor man and the tall spotted-brown woman with increasingly less silver hair."
"Are they also mates to one another?" Persephone digs.
"You're so very personal you know," Tasha teases, reaching back to fluff herself up. Maybe she should keep the wolf version of herself around as a pillow that understands how she feels? No, she decides, they would fight over Gabriel and Katie and, as Lacci suggested, food. "Nooo, not yet. Maybe not ever? I'm not sure Katie is interested in Gabriel, or, well, even men. Gabriel wouldn't mind the other way around, but he'd be worried I'd get jealous or feel left out."
"Interesting," Persephone comments. "What characteristics about them do you admire, and which do you envy?"
"I envy they're both taller than me," Tasha notes, waving her right hand over her head. She then pauses, remembering any jokes could be taken seriously and she could end up ten feet tall, have two heads, or any number of other oddities if she doesn't communicate her answers clearly and so clears her throat. "I'm joking. I like that they're taller than me. Lets see ... Gabriel is calm, collected, and gentle. He has a inner and outter strength he never has to project. He can be impressive and reassuring without doing or saying a thing. He knows how to lead people and provide just what they need without seeming to have to try. When I died, he was the first person to come see me, and the one who made me feel like I was still me. He knew I was a little afraid, and he knew how to comfort me. Maybe that's why I fell in love with him so quickly. I'm not sure I could keep doing this without him. If my travels are the open sky, he's the ground I always return to. He's dependable, reliable, and gentle. I wish I could calm people and lead them so easily."
Tasha then tilts her head, considering Katherine Vesuvius. "In some ways Gabriel and Katie are similiar, but in those ways they're very different. They're both awe-inspiring, they can impress and lead people without seeming to have to try. Everyone defers to them, even I do sometimes, and other times I want to. They're what old TerraGen culture would consider Alpha-types, self-assured, competent leaders, and elites as well. Katie is beautiful and confident, and she has this aura of charm and fascination. She's also very competent like Gabriel, far more educated and skilled than I am. I think I envy that the most; I'll never be able to be as skilled or competent as they are, because I didn't grow up with it, and don't have the time, now. The other thing would be how awe-inspiring they are, how easy it seems for them to lead and get people to follow. I'm, uh, more ... Beta-wolf about that. It's harder for me, and I'm not exactly the best leader. I do try very hard, but it's not as natural for me."
"Now for the tougher question," the dragon warns. "What do they admire and envy about you, Tasha?"
Tasha draws her upper lip back in a grimace. "Wow that is a tough question. Normally my different selves would betray me about now and answer, but they're not really much for talking at the moment." And so the Human woman sucks in a deep breath, rolls over, and hugs on to her wolf-self while glancing up in to the eyes of the shiny dragoness.
"Well, first of all, they must like something about me since they followed me out to the middle of nowhere, and I think that thing is that I saw they were in need and I tried my best to be there for them. Just like with Charon, they were suffering some problem, and I came and helped because I liked them. There's also that I helped them find a place to belong to. Gabriel had lost nearly everything, he told me I gave him a future, something to believe in and follow. Katie was lost in a different way, so I offered her a chance to come with me. I give people who are lost a place to belong, which I guess is how I keep them close to me. Nearly everyone on the ship needed a place to be, and I needed them." The admittance does make Tasha flush, it all sounds a little manipulative and desperate to her, but she doens't think she ever did it out of malice or conceit. "As for envy ... Maybe my freedom? Because I'm -- er, was -- a hybrid and a traveler, I never belong anywhere, but I'm also not beholden to anywhere. People who want something new, or somewhere else, or to be free of something often sign on to ships, back home. I guess I'm like a ship that's also a person. Sign on with Tasha, see the world, get away and maybe find somewhere to belong and something to believe in. Those two things are probably what they admire and envy. Even with me, they still find it hard to let go of where and what they left. It takes them a lot of time."
"Hopefully there are no unhealthy co-dependency issues there," Persephone says. "Have you always sought out to build a family like this, or was there a point where it just happened? I am curious about your motivations, especially ones you may feel have diminished or been missing since your deconstruction."
"Well, let me think. When did I start doing all of this ... " Tasha taps the side of her head, scrunching up her lips. "I'd have to say I'd been angry for a long time. Being a hybrid made me resentful, I was the only one like me I'd ever met, and even though I was treated as part of the crew and Vartans were friendly with me, I always knew I was different. For some, very different, and at least a few people singled me out, either because I was exotic or because my existence implied something more than what I was -- they resented me, or didn't know how to deal with me, or believed I meant something." And then she shrugs her shoulders. "So I'd always felt like a kind of outsider. It was later when I began to travel I also realized how petty, angry, and, well, what a big nobody I was. I was afraid of not having anything of value, especially when even being physically strong amounted to nothing. I was afraid of being worthless and broken. So I tried to change, to be something that had value, but I never forgot feeling like an outsider. Even when I was trying to build a better future, help Gabriel, rise up, I never really belong anywhere until I made somewhere to belong myself."
"Is that your goal, to make someplace that suits you?" Persephone asks. "Or is that something you would like, once you've dealt with your current problems?"
Tasha squints, wrinkling up her face. "That's a very good question. What amI doing all this for? What did Katie say, I needed to be ... bigger?" More scrunching and a pause as the young woman dredges the ruins of her sundered existence. "Bigger. There's something else. I wanted to be important, and I wanted to be valued, I wanted ... somewhere to belong. I sort of have the belonging, now, even if maybe it ... Oh." Her eyes widen. "Even if I stop, it could all disappear. If I'm not off on an adventure, or buidling something greater, or fighting something bigger, then what happens to me? I tried it once, I just ended up feeling like I was sliding back in to being nobody again. Forgetable, powerless, not free, no control, not interesting and not ... You see it's like how Katie and Gabriel are big just by existing? I'm not. I have to keep going, or maybe I'll just fade away. Maybe it's also Nora's memory. Ever since she crammed her memories in to my head I've never stopped looking up; more, bigger, farther. The day Nora showed me the universe, I couldn't ever go back. I don't know if I even have a home if I stop? I feel like I want to, but I also need to."
"Who is Nora?" Persephone asks. "Do the others have this drive as well?"
"Nora is my sis-- " Tasha frowns a moemnt, then very deliberately sits up and puts her hands in her lap, turning to look the dragon face to face. "Nora -- Tisiphone -- is my creator. She's the Sifra-system copy of the original Nora Argentine, who died on Sinai. Because she died wanting to save her crew -- Gabriel, Eli, Remy, Mariel and the others -- her copy had been trying to do it for thousands of years, probably having created other Tashas as she read the possible futures and maybe even realities and created Tashas that might just do it. I'm the one who succeeded. You can even ask her about it yourself, she's the other non-spore ghost in the crystal, I think." She pauses to gather her thoughs as she changes topics, the matter of Nora a emotionally complex one. "I'm afraid they don't. Oh, Gabriel likes a big adventure and to sail, be it the stars, the sea, or what. Katie just wanted to get away and find herself. My goals are sort of a way for them to have something to do and while they meet their own needs. Or, I think so anyway. None of them are really dedicated to defeating the Ogdoad or seeing how far they go. I think ... I think the old me was afraid of that. And, afraid I'd gone as far as I could, because if I went father I'd become ... something else."
"Have you heard the notion that power corrupts?" Persephone asks. "It does not. But it does cause a form of brain damage that can be mistaken for corruption. You are about to become something else, Tasha. I'm going to give you what you need: Legacy."
Tasha blinks at this. She'd never heard of legacy, unless it's the definition Nora gave her. But, how can a young, unique, living being have a legacy? Or, is it like Atum's offer, a people who would carry a legacy? But if it were that, why wouldn't Persephone just say so, and why legacy and not a people, or the ability to breed? Would she need to become something else just to have children? And what was that about power? She has some experience here, having obtained, and lost, considerable releative power as she climbed from one strata of reality to another, from a small part of a lost world, to cross the world itself, to other worlds, and then to the power to dominate them. From there to the stars, and the power to destroy them, and farther still. She'd heard power corrupts, or that it twists, but she's come to believe that is a lie: Power only gives you options, if having options makes you chose to be different, then it was only not having them in the first place that kid that part of you. The corruption, in this case, had always been there, it simply had no outlet. She's since come to see that thinking as a form of evasion and personal weakness, though as for a legacy or 'legacy', what could such an option bring out in her?
Whatever it may be, Tasha realizes she'll soon find out. "A legacy? Or 'legacy'?" Nuance, meaning, translation; these things, too, can be difficult to know.
"Legacy," Persephone repeats. "You were a patchwork quilt, with mismatched patterns stitched together to form something that mostly functions. But it was not whole. It was an end in itself. I will take these disparate patterns, and reweave them as a tapestry. One that is not an end in itself. You wanted a species. You will become a species. All of these grafts: spirits, dark spores, pasts which are not your own - they will serve you instead. Become your strength."
And then Tasha's eyes go wide. "You're going to ... To fix me? I won't just be ... patched together anymore? Nora's age-old kludge fix?" That's exactly what was said, but the young woman finds she needs to repeat the concept, hear it again, chew on it and chew on it some more. The idea of reaching a point of functionality and purity of being had been her holy grail, a kind of ideal to be longed for but never achieved. Even the greatness of Galactic medicine, the power of the Dark, and the glory of the Light, had never offered her a complete fix, and she doubts they could. They could have remade her, made her something new, at the cost of the old. To be made whole from what she is, she didn't hink she'd ever really see it. It was just a longing, like a fairy tale. Something to motivate her to action, never to reached. Until now.
Tasha reaches up and wipes at the corner of her eyes. Suddenly, she can't bring herself to speak any further. Biting her lip, she fights the urge to break down in to tears.
"It will be a personal species," Persephone clarifies. "Your sons will be as their fathers, but your daughters will be continuations of yourself. As you were a continuation of Nora, they will be born with a copy of your spirit, and the integration of the spore. And so forth, with their daughters."
Tasha sits up a little straighter at that. A personal species, different from any other she's encountered so far. She's certainly met beings she thinks have more unusual reproduction methods, but it never occured to her she might some day exist outside the Galactic reproductive norm. The idea makes her feel exotic to herself, new territory, a new horizon. One that is herself. Like waking up Human, yet somehow beyond even that, A whole new beginning, not the continuation of another's legacym but a new start. It feels like something beyond being reborn, or even born. To Tasha, it's off the map, a land untouched by anyone, the very essence of the unknown. The very idea sends a chill up her spine. "I don't know what to say," she admits, sounding very quiet. "It sounds wonderful, but scary. And so new. Something new. A new me, that even I can't fathom. I wonder what being something so new will feel like? It's exciting!"
"There may be elements that I cannot foresee," Persephone cautions. "Integration of the spore is unknown territory. I will be curious as to the long-term discoveries. Are you ready to be reborn?"
"What would be the fun in a new land that lacked danger and the unknown?" Tasha posits, still wide eyes from the promise of a new life. Not merely a new life, but a unique life, newly created. "I feel like I should answer yes, because if I said no so we could sit and talk, or asked you to pet me because I'm nervous, the new me might find that embarassing. And if I'm going to be me, I ought to get right to it and stop dawdling by wasting time being what I am not. At least I took a little time to record a message to my future self talking about being Human, in case I ever forgot."
"You should not forget," Persephone promises. "You will still be yourself, as you and others recognize you. The changes will not be drastic, but.. they will be you. When you are ready, close your eyes and tap your heels together three times, reciting: There's No Place Like Tasha"
"That's a very silly way to say yes, but I understand you're just trying to make me not be nervous," Tasha notes, giving the dragon a rather suspicious sort of look, not unlike the one Lacci gave her when she thought she was being teased. She then holds out her arms. "But I appreciate it. Can I hug you, O god? Can I call you my god now, my creator?"
"I am not your creator, Tasha," Persephone claims. "You are. You create yourself anew every day. You do not need a god for that, nor do you need to be one yourself. This is your decision. There is no contract to be made with me, no promises. You earned this by sacrificing yourself for my child, and I am a mother above all else."
Tasha decides not to argue the point, it's well reasoned and it seems to her it's all that needs be said. "What about the hug? Charon will tell you I'm very huggy!" She wiggles her fingers in come on, come on sort of way.
"A hug is fine," Persephone agrees, and stretches her neck so Tasha can hug around it.
Tasha does exactly that. "Thank you, Persephone. For what you're doing for me and for Charon. Please let me know if you ever need my help again. Charon's always welcome to visit me, and so are you." After giving the dragonesses neck a companionable kiss on the side of the neck, the young woman holds on and takes a deep breath.
"There is!"
She brings her heels together.
"No place!"
Another touch of the heels.
"LIKE TASHA!"
Click.
As consciousness fades, Tasha hears Persephone say, "Oh, I suppose there is one more thing, but only because it seems to be a tradition with you.." And then there's warmth and.. pinkness. Like seeing the sun through closed eyelids while lying on a beach.
Tasha stirs atop her fluffy Karnor mattresses, feeling well rested. It's still 'night' inside Charon's garden, but there aren't any auroral displays right now.
And so Tasha yawns. She slept well, and wasn't that just the oddest dream? She pushes herself to partially sit up, still partly rested upon the ground with her legs up. Perhaps that's what it'll be like when she meets Persephone? In her foggy post-awake state, it doesn't surprise her that she'd dream of it. Who could even not be anxious about their own rebirth?
Her wings feel in need of grooming after sleeping on them, but otherwise Tasha feels.. light. Everyone else is still sleeping, but once she's mostly off of Hakeber the Karnor snorts and snores for a few moments before quieting again.
Sitting in the early ... morning? Pre-dawn? Tasha isn't quite sure what to think of it, so she falls back on the old standard of pre-dawn morning, the peaceful quiet before the world awakes. This world may be a person, but as Charon said: Even he needs to eat, even he is just as alive as she. When she was younger, back on Sinai, she liked to walk around the ship in the pre-dawn quiet between watches, when one crew was getting ready and the other too tired and busy to pay her any mind. She'd do the same working back in the Fallen Friend, take a walk outside, watch the sun rise.
Well, she's never seen a line sun rise before, so why not?
Standing up, Tasha makes her way to stand before the lake, angled so that the vault of the sky and the living sun will ignite before her. She considers sitting, but some instinct in the back of her head says she ought and meet the day standing.
She can feel the grass at the edge of the lake between her.. toes? It isn't quite like having human toes though. She still has hooves, but something is different. There are more pieces it feels like.
This causes Tasha to look down in curiosity. She's not quite awake yet, so it doesn't occur to her that this might be less that the best way to face a new day: By looking at her toes. Still she's an explorer first and an artist second, and no one ever accused her of being excessively obsessed with asthetics and ceremony.
The dual toes of her cloven hooves wiggle a bit. She's aware of little nub-toes further back, and a pad as well. No more slipping. The Rhian-like hide of her lower half is also covered in fur now, albeit short fur.
Tasha's very first thought upon seeing her toes is that Sam's going to absolutely love them. It then occurs her to consider that her toes are now hooves, and more so, cloven. The dream quickly becomes far more than that as she drops down in to a seated position, emminently fascinated by her new digits and the leg they're attached to, uncertain if this is the dream and she's just been rolling through various worry-addled predictive dreams.
Her legs seem slightly different, but.. it's hard to pin down how. The fur is thicker than what she remembers, and her hips seem different somehow as well. The 'dawn' is beginning now, as the light begins to brighten slowly.
Anatomy isn't something Tasha has studied, except in the cruder sense of that area of study. She mulls over whether what she's seeing is real or not, only to turn away as the light shimmers in the distance. Whatever the case may be, she did decide to meet the day standing. It was a promise to herself, important for what it represents even if she's not exactly sure what that is yet. Rising, she stretches, giving her funny legs one last look. She knows the rest of herself must also be different, but it'll be easier to see in the light.
The brightening 'day' tells Tasha that her color hasn't changed.. it's just more uniform now that there's no odd division between her upper and lower halves. Her tail also feels different, and her stretch likewise offers something not quite as she remembers, but not unfamiliar.
Tasha holds her arms to embrace the sun before she turns to look down at herself, gaze running up and down her arms, down her chest and to her legs. The more she sees, the more she realizes she is indeed awake, and that the dream wasn't. Despite the realization the experience still feels like dreaming, it is the dawn of a new day and a new existence, an experience entirely beyond the reach of her previous experience, beyond any other experience she's known. Was this, then, how the first Vartan felt? The first Human, ages ago? It is a singular experience, inexpressable.
There isn't much of her Vartan heritage clearly apparent. Vartans are rather exaggerated in their proportions, and while Tasha was never that Vartan, she notices the changes in her shape. She seems longer, certainly more flexible. It needs a Nora word: lithe. Actually a bit feline, perhaps. Her shoulders and hips aren't as broad as they once were, certainly. Her neck feels less thick as well, although there's a bit more fluff to it. And where she feels herself.. that brings another revelation: her hands are very different. From the back, they look like Karnor hands, but the fur looks a big scaly somehow - because it's made up of very fine feathers. But the palms are.. palms. Not leathery pads with fur in between, these seem very human, with bare skin running to the fingers. The odd feather-fur shows up in other places - her elbows, where they're a little more feathery, growing out a strip that runs from her wrists, and also along the line of her jawbone. Sensitive fingers can find them replacing her eyebrows as well.
A few swishes of her tail reveal the changes there as well. It still looks the same, but the tail itself goes all the way to the tip of the fur, and seems to have a lot more joints to it. It might actually be prehensile at this point.
Tasha isn't exactly sure what to think of her new self, it's so new. Just as promised, she appears to be a being that isn't just the legacy of the parts that it was cobbled together from, but an integrated and complete whole. Streamlined, complete; she is no longer a hybrid, but a species. A personal species, she remembers now. Being entirely new and novel to herself is something she only experienced a few times, waking up after cybernetic neurosurgery, then as a Human much later. But this, this goes beyond. It makes her feel fresh, like something more than a baby newly arrived. She once again accepts that it's an experience that, like herself, is wholly new. If only Egypt Inconspicuous were here to record the experience!
The glint on the water catches her eye, making her wonder just what her eyes are at this point. She wants to try her tail, too, and for a moment can't decide what to look at or try first as every new thing tugs at her attention and promises her exciting new experience and functionality. She settles for stepping up to the water and getting a good look at herself, which feeds many needs at once.
Her face looks familiar, but also a bit cuter. Because her eyes are slightly larger than a Karnor's, but still smaller than a Vartan's - enough to make her look younger. But there are also colors that.. aren't colors. Certainly not like anything she's seen before. They shine from back of her eyes, and also from a spot just under her bangs, in the center of her forehead.
Tasha watches this stranger who is her go through a number of expressed emotions, first surprise, then intense curiosity, careful study, and wonder. She gazes at the expressive cuteness of her own large eyes, momentarily taken in by them, and then by mystifying colors that seem to flow and ... she's not sure at all what to make of them. No matter how much she stares, she can't quite find the measure of them, and so can only follow them as the shift and move. It's this motion that brings her to her forehead. At first she thinks her eyes might be illuminating her hair, but as she looks that doesn't seem to be the case at all. She reaches up and pushes her hair away to see.
There's a star in her forehead. Or rather, a patch of fur that looks like a star with eight rays.. even if they're a bit wiggly. The color that isn't there makes it seem like they're moving, but it's just a mark in her fur, almost black.
What's this about, Tasha wonders, not having expected some manner of mysterious symbology would be involved in her rebirth. She reaches up with her delicate, soft, skinned hands to touch it. She supposes it could just be decorative, a nice touch and center piece to the center of her forehead. The colors are still as big a mystery as ever, but they're even more unknowable, at least for the moment. She hadn't expected to be reborn as a puzzle, but she has to admit it's exciting to be one. She'd been on a journey of self-discovery for some time, and now that self is fresh in its promise of discovery, ripe with occult curiosity.
To her fingers, the mark is.. just fur. It doesn't feel any different than any other part of her forehead. But more telling is that when her fingers brush over the mark, she can still see the strange color through them.. or over them.. or it may really be that she's seeing something that isn't actually there.
For a brief and unnerving moment, Tasha is brought to wonder if she's actually broken on some level. That perhaps, just as warned, the elements of her being did not come together correctly and what she's seeing is some form of flaw, a distortion of vision or failure of nervous system. Or, just as alarmingly, a problem beyond mere physicality. To test this theory she turns and begins looking all around her, curious if anything else carries the aura of color.
Nothing in the environment has it.. exactly.. but there is something that seems to stand out back near Katie and Hakeber. This isn't an odd color, it's more like a sound that Tasha can see. Something wind-chimey.
Driven by a need to know if she's truly whole, and curious besides, Tasha makes her way over to inspect the strange phenomenon, moving with careful steps she finds to be almost dainty, gracefully weaving in a way unlike either being Human or Hybrid. It fascinates her, and she decides to watch herself walk later, when more pressing concerns are done.
The source of the sound-light is being clutched to Katie's chest, pressed up under her right breast. It's a Marker, made of sapphire. It even has the same sort-of-floating-inside symbol, but this is a simple circle split into three equal lobes. The Marker itself looks a bit like a stylized dragon scale. Tradition, as Persephone said in her last words to Tasha.
"Huh," goes Tasha, who feels the sudden need to sit down, and to stare. She supposes at length that she ought to add it to her collection, but doesn't have the heart to wake Katherine up and take it. Having this new her do it might just get her new existence tossed in to the old lake, Katherine Vesuvius's training being what it is! And then there's the matter of the color-sound. After a moment longer, an ephiphany gives her cause to wonder if she isn't seeing some interpretation of the esssence of Blue, for Charon had said his mother was of the color.
It might explain why the odd not-really-a-color and not-really-a-sound behave so differently. The Marker seems to sing-glow, but it isn't casting any light on Katie's fur. But she was able to see the eldritch colors in her own reflection, which.. wouldn't make sense if they weren't somehow a form of light. There was no guarantee that things would make sense, just that they would be more integrated. Hakeber scratches her butt, and yawns as she begins to wake up.
Tasha considers the nature of things that may not be natural in the slightest for a moment more, until Hakeber's movement tell her her time alone is coming to an end. This causes another kind of panic, that of self-conciousness, a decidedly unusual brand of self-conciousness at that as she worries over a self she's only had for minutes and has barely inspected herself. She also wonders at just how to greet Hakeber, should she sit neutrally and at a distance? Try to cuddle and hope there's no sudden screaming? Or, should she just tackle Hakeber and give her a kiss, showing through action she's still herself?
In the end Tasha goes with something a little different than those, she lowers herself and walks over on all fours, then positions herself above Hakeber. When the wolf's eyes open, she husks, "Hiii Hake-beaaaaar," and then lick-smooches her in to the grass while making an exagerated 'mmm'ing.
Hakeber's first words of the day are a muttering about not having proper morning-breath, and then more waking up in pieces as she normally does - the Karnor is not the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed sort when it comes to waking up. "Tasha? You're back to normal?" she asks, still looking bleary-eyed.
Tasha sits back on her butt, but doesn't answer. Instead she makes a self-indicating gesture with both hands, waggling them towards herself in a, 'take a look' and 'what do you think' fashion.
Hakeber sits up ungracefully, sniffs loudly and rubs at her eyes. "Something's different.." she notes, trying to focus on Tasha. "You.. you've gone from a demonic succubus to some sort of fairy.."
As Hakeber becomes more awake, Tasha can see bits of that color coming from the Karnor's head. Or rather inside of her head, flickering here and there.
Tasha isn't sure what to make of being called some sort of fairy, or for that matter being called a demonic succubus. "I think there are a lot of changes," she tries offering, not having really tried to talk yet. Maybe her voice is fairy-like too? And that color is back again, she leans in ti squint at it, not at all sure that will actually make a difference.
It doesn't do anything to make it come more into focus, but does cause Hakeber to squint back. "Yes.. you don't seem as imposing. Really cute." At least Tasha's voice doesn't sound different to her. Then Hakeber reaches out and gropes Tasha's chest. "A little softer too I think."
"So I'm cuter and softer now?" Did she ask for that? Tasha wonders. She did admit to being jealous of how awe inspiring Gabriel and Katherine are, but they're not exactly cute. Perhaps it's because she acted cute? Whatever the answer is, it's her now, so she decides to simply accept it as such and try to see it as a part of herself from now on. "Okay, I'm cute and soft now. I think I can accept that, maybe even like it?" It's certainly a new state of being, but not an off-putting one. Just different, maybe even welcome, she'll have to search her feelings as she goes along. "Do I ... have colors behind my eyes, to you?"
Hakeber leans in close, then leans in closer.. then finally sneaks a kiss. "I don't see any unusual colors," she notes. "There's no eyeshine of course, since the light is always right overhead. Are you seeing weird things?"
Tasha goes wide-eyed, ears shooting up at the kiss. It's a lot cuter a reaction than she has self-knowledge to know, lending a special genuine quality to it. A child experiencing her first recieved kiss, except in this case a individual reborn, every experience new and every reaction unmeasured. She blinks, then she giggles. The laughter lends itself well to Hakeber's fey impression. When she's done giggling, she nods slowly. "I see lights and colors, only I think they're they're not regular colors. I see them in my reflection, and in you ... " She reaches a hand out, black-feathered and Human-palmed, touching Hakeber's forehead, " ... here."
"On my forehead?" Hakeber asks, crossing her eyes to try and look where Tasha points, then reaches up and.. wipes at her forehead. "What do you mean by not regular colors? Are they colors or shades of grey, like you'd see in an infrared picture?"
"They're not ... " Tasha hesitates, waggling her hands as she tries to figure out a way to explain, " ... they're not colors. Real-universe colors. They're colors like ... Like He-Who-Moves has colors, or the color of Mr. Yellow's Marker. Like Colors. Maybe something else, too? They're not purely any Color I've ever seen, and I can't describe them because I'm sure they're not any part of the visible spectrum. I think they're ... " She waggles her hands again. "I think they might be 'supernatural' or some sort of other-dimensional data, like hyperspace."
"I've got hyperspace on my forehead then?" Hakeber asks, tilting her head. "That.. doesn't sound right."
"I'm not sure what it is. I mean, I've only been me for fifteen minutes. I've only been reborn for less than the time it takes to eat a plate of fish tacoes." The no-longer-Human-or-hybird leans back and spreads her hands. "You're the first person I've talked to since it happened. I don't even know what my butt looks like yet!"
"It doesn't look all that different from what you had before," Hakeber says, and reaches around Tasha to squeeze. "Yeah, about 1.5 palms worth still.."
Tasha watches this, looking back. It's about at this point she has the instinctive reaction when grabbed to curl her tail around the seizing hand. She watches his and Hakeber's hand with no small amount of surprise. "Thats new," she points out, literally pointing at her tail as well.
"Hey, I can't do that!" Hakeber points out. "Which.. is probably for the best. Otherwise I might never leave my room.."
"And since you never clean we'd need to dispatch a exploratory squad to filter through the ruins of Pizzaboxolopolis," the reborn woman teases, then she reaches over and tries to rub0rub Hakeber's cheeks and ears up. "Who. Is. My. Best. Friend?!?"
"Me?" Hakeber mumbles through squished cheeks, and wags her tail. Maybe Tasha still reads as more human to get that response.
//That's useful to know, Tasha decides, continuing the rub-a-thon right until she scoots forward and pulls Hakeber down in to her lap. Once she's got her arms around her, she looks down and admits, "I don't want to start my new existance worrying about myself though, so my very special special super-friend, how are you doing? I want to ask Charon and Persephone to take a look at you. I won't let my fear of failure cloud my judgement in helping you, not anymore."
"You want to show me off, or are you worried about my health?" Hakeber asks. "I'm doing just fine without alcohol! It doesn't mean I'm pregnant or anything. Things were pretty bad for a while when we were stranded next to monster-world.. Yue going a bit bonkers may have played a part in that though. But I'm much better now! Or do you want them to change something on me? Is it my butt?"
"Your butt is just fine. I'll rub it too, later!" Remembering how Yue used to pet Hakeber, Tasha tries that approach, shifting hands from hugging to petting along the head and ears. "What I am worried about is what that Ogdru-hem did to you back on Abaddon. Persephone told me I had a spore in me, that I could have been taken over, that that's how their kind create more servants. I think I've absorbed mine; it's part of me now -- and I amd perfect." She bats her eyelashes, then sobers, lips pursing. "But I worry about you. They might be able to see what happened to you."
"The stuff in my head you mean?" Hakeber asks. "Or.. uh.. in my soul or whatever. I don't think I'll be taken over though.. I wasn't bitten like you were. It's not really a piece of one in me.. I think."
"But that implies you're seeing Dark stuff," the Karnor adds.
"You think so?" Tasha looks over, then points at the sleeping Katherine Vesuvius. "Do you see it? Do you see the Blue Marker? That's Persephone's Marker. I see the color in it, and it looks like fluting music. I can't think Persephone has any Dark in her, they fight the Dark."
"Ooo, it's pretty!" Hakeber says. "It needs a fitting, then it can be worn around your neck. It's really blue too. What does the color sound like? Can you humm it?"
"Ummm, let me see ... " Tasha rolls her legs and hips, scooting around in place to more fully face the Marker in question. "You know, Charon said his mother is Blue? That's the first time I've seen Blue, the Color -- emphasis COLOR -- Blue. The essence of Blue, something more than just an interpretation of electromagnetisim. So, the song ... " She peers, searching for the color-that's-not, the swirling essence, the visual that's a sound ...
And then Tasha begins to hum. From humming, she transitions to a vocal interpretation without words, trying to match the melody with her voice.
"It doesn't sound very blue, it sounds very mathematical," Hakeber notes. "The blues require harmonica and guitar. Does it sound like flutes? Doesn't Sam play a flute?"
"It sounds like flutes," Tasha agrees, but then she points at her face. "But I don't think I can play one, what with not being Human anymore. I'm supposed to ask him about the spore anyway. Want to swing by the ship and check on him and Mr. Eyes? I can fly the shuttle, and I don't want to wake everyone up."
"Do we have to get dressed?" Hakeber asks. "Nobody on the ship would care."
"Sam will try to turn in to a male version of me, but that's impossible." Tasha scoops Hakeber up, then tries to lift her up to her feet to compare her new body's strength to her old. "Besides, what am I going to wear? I'm skinnier now. Look at my hips!"
"They aren't Vartan hips anymore, they're more.. more than a Silent-One's hips," Hakeber agrees, then puts a hand on Tasha's shoulder, and somberly informs her, "You will never be able to waitress again with those hips, Tasha. I'm sorry." Hakeber feels a little heavier, so Tasha hasn't lost all of her strength despite being a bit slighter now.
"Hup," goes Tasha she lifts Hakeber to her feet using her legs and back, placing her down before taking her hand. "I'll consider never having to be a tavern wench a blessing. C'mon you, maybe Sam or Eyes will have some insights in to you, too. Then, maybe we can ask Charon or Persephone about the details." And so she heads off, deciding she'd better see about the important things first and check on the the two elder beings. That'll also give her time to grow familiar with herself.
At least she isn't having any issues walking. It's easier than having flat, bare soles.. but also a little easier than having single-toe hooves, since she can flex her feet slightly on the terrain. "Can you wiggle your toes?" Hakeber asks as they approach the Vartan shuttle.
"That's a good question." Tasha helps Hakeber board, then gestures to the co-pilot's station before occupying the pilot's station herself. She touches the console, navigating through icons until she's punched in the startup sequence. As the shuttle warms up, she looks down at her feet and tries to move them. "They kind of look like Cervani feet, don't they?"
"I wasn't usually looking at their feet," Hakeber admits. "But your boots will probably still fit." Unlike the Terran shuttle, the Vartan one (despite being very old) is mostly silent when it lifts off.
Needing to focus on piloting -- especially given she's piloting an entirely new body and needs to pause now and then to get a feel for how she's interacting with objects -- Tasha is largely quiet along the trip back to the Dark Horse. She does at least spend the silence seeing if she can grab things, and Hakeber, with her tail.
"Annnd in we go. Not crashing the day I'm reborn is always a good start," she remarks as the shuttle lowers itself silently through the strange and alien barrier that acts as the ship's airlock. "Hopefully those two haven't slapped each other to oblivion by now."
"What do they do by themselves anyway?" Hakeber asks, working to under the seat restraints. "Contemplate cosmic quandaries? Crossword puzzles?"
"I think Sam likes to practice his lurking. Just the very best way and place to show up behind you without seeming to be doing it on purpose. Mr. Eyes probably reflects on the past and, uh, ... maybe he reads? He seems very scholarly, just with less pizzas." Tasha has less trouble, but then the restraints were designed for someone roughly her shape, if bigger. She helps Hakeber free, then heads down in to the ship. "One Shojo Burger says Sam's waiting for us outside, probably up high."
So Hakeber looks up, once they're under 'solid' ceiling. "I see the windows to your quarters," she notes. That's when Sam slithers up from below and wraps them both in tentacles.
"Ahhhhhhh," deadpans Tasha, who holds her arms in the air shakes them in mock-terror. "A demon. Please Mister Eyes, save us by talking him to death."
"You taste different," Samael gurgles, and then melts off of them to form back into his anti-Tasha form. He doesn't have any issue looking like a male version.. just this time he's prettier and more.. fey. "Oooo," Hakeber approves.
"And here I hoped I had stumped you," Tasha complains, lrft hand going to hip and right hand shaking Samael's way. "At least you're pretty now. So am I." Her hands spread in a take a look motion. "I think I like it. A lot. But, so ... " Hands fall, then Tasha squints, leaning forward. "Lets see what color you might be."
Sam is full of the color out of darkness, apparently, but on him it's more of an outline. Certainly nothing shines through his eyes.
"Unnnsurprisingly dark," the as-yet-unnamed species of woman observes after a moment, muzzle pursing, " ... and everywhere. That makes sense, at least. I always knew you were all that you are and not as, um, focused as we are. More ... blobby." She nods, apparently satisfied, then straightens. "So! Hi, Sam. Persephone said I should ask you about 'the spore'." The spore being said in the woman's best tone of ominousness.
"Which one?" Sam replies, keeping a perfectly straight face.
"Oh you are a jokster." Tasha swats Samael's chest with one of her fancy new hands, then tilts her head. "Now stop that. I know teasing people is a lot of fun, but I need to ask and sort some things out right now: The spore?"
"First," Sam says, and puts his hand over Tasha's forehead. The weird color goes away! Until Sam takes his hand away. "You have a new eye."
"I have ... three eyes?" Tasha confirms, her new but standardly placed eyes widening. "Like Princess Third-Eye?" She reaches up to place a hand over where Sam's had been, trying to see if the trick works for her as well.
It does.. but apparently her bangs don't have the same effect. And the eye is.. just that wiggly dark mark on her fur, somehow.
"Huh." Hand down, no sight. Up, sight, down, none. A few repeats of this, then Tasha shrugs at Hakeber; apparently she does have a third eye. "Well that explains the seeing things part," she asides to her friend before turning back. "So what does it have to do with the spore, or is this what happens when I, uh, merged with it? I did merge with it. I think. All of it, all that was part of me."
"Yes, you're got some dark-sight now," Sam says. "I could tell more, but it might be a bit intrusive. You've turned the spore into your minion though, most likely. It wasn't much of one to begin with."
"She did say they'd become my strength," Tasha confirms. She resist the urge to rub at her forehead, folding her hands behind her back where she won't be tempted to fidget. She does, however, bounce lightly on her hooves. "Wasn't much of a minion or much of a spore?"
"Much of a spore," Sam explains. "But if it is more integrated now, you should get more use from it."
"He did say it was a very small bond, that anything more tended to drive people, er, insane. Or was it explode?" It could have been either; Tasha shrugs. She hasn't exploded and she's probably, mostly, sane. Probably. "Well, hey, it should be useful, right? Can I turn other things in to my minion?" She leans in, brows rising, grinning her best winningest grin.
"Haven't you already been doing that?" Sam asks, and looks at Hakeber.
"Hey, I'm not her minion," Hakeber claims. "I'm just easy."
"That is true," Tasha admits, then reaches over and fusses over Hakeber's ears and head while asking her who is the easiest minion.
"Now.. there could be other side effects," Sam warns.
"You mean like pizza boxes everywhere, missing clothes, distracting Gabr- Oh you mean the spore." Tasha stops the petting and focuses on Samael, ears going up. She missed being able to perk her ears, how else is anyone to know she's curious? "Annnd what would those be?"
"Well, it could be a shift in your.. fundamentals," Samael says, raising a finger. "Now, you've brought up the notion before, so I may as well give names to things. You know the Null. I suppose you could call another one the Dragon, which is all about the cycle of creation and destruction, and is most closely aligned with living things and.. matter and energy in general. The ones which dark beings are aligned to can be a bit vague, but one Fundamental that's clear is Consumption. You may experience odd, disturbing cravings."
"Hunger cravings?" Hakeber asks. And Sam nods.
"I'm guessing it's something other than steaks, fish tacoes, and pizza," Tasha interprets, head cocking to the side. "Like ... lectures. Or souls."
"At least it won't be trying to sustain itself off of yours anymore," Sam offers as a silver lining.
"The Dragon sounds very much like the Waybringers. They must be highly aligned to it, being what they are." Tasha nods slowly, even Persephone suggested there might be unforseen side effects and she has enough experience with Dark beings to guess at what those may be. "It's a little disconcerting, but I guess this is what I am now, so I should try to appreciate it and learn to deal with it. Do you know what the spore was supposed to do? Was it really waiting to take me over? And, do you know anything about the one who made it?"
"It is a servitor spore, and not a fully formed one," Sam explains. "You could say it was from an impotent lloigor, or that it was not meant to be a full spore in the first place. More of a.. homing pigeon."
"That does sound like how our agreement worked. It's nice to know he didn't betray me after all. Unless you think the ... homing pigeon? ... is dangerous?" Again the perked ears. Tasha is going to enjoy the returned ability for some time.
"It would only drag your soul back to him if you had died before fulfilling your contract, where it probably would have been eaten," Sam notes calmly.
"I've had boyfriends like that," Hakeber says, nodding.
Tasha nods to this, the Source did say as much. "At least I know he was good to his word. I'll have to say 'hi' the next time I'm back home. I'm sure he's lonely, stuck in there as he is." After a moment of thought, Tasha remembers another question she hands, pointing back in to the vessel. "Ogdru-hem are all servants, right? If they can't be made to not be servants, do you think I could ... well, ... could get them to serve me instead? Wrestle control from the Ogdoad, give them newer, less unpleasant orders. I could resolve this war without having to destroy them."
"You are not as powerful as the Ogdoad," Samael points out. "For some it would be impossible. You've met some of the first Ogdru-hem, like Urgo-hem. The ones created by Lukthu-hem are a different matter, since you helped to defeat her. Tatha-hem would be that caste. But they are not following orders, in any sense."
Tasha grimaces. She remembers how distinctly not powerful and tiny she felt fighting alone, and even housed in the Star Horse she could sense Lukthu-hem's immensity, get a feeling for what she may have once been. She almost didn't return from the second battle, and only returned from the first at great effort, and as a corpse. "Then what would be your advice if I chose that route? I've never liked having to kill them if I could find a better way, even being what they are. I guess I'm a little closer to being like them too, now. And I must accept that. I won't live my new life regretting what I am."
"I advise that you choose your battles wisely," Sam suggests. "There will be Ogdru-hem that are docile and largely without agency. T'thogga-hem, for all its power, had no mind or agency of its own. Urgo-hem had both power and agency. The most dangerous will be like that. There are hundreds of others like Tatha-hem, scattered through the universe as spirits, serving as elemental anchors and similar purposes. They can mostly be ignored."
"Alright, that sounds like a place to start at least. We never know when we may encounter them." Tasha nods, decided, then turns to gaze across the docking bay, vision sweeping over the vault of the chamber, to the Melchior, the other shuttle, and around again. "We'll probably be leaving again, soon. It would be bad if some of Charon's relatives notice he's here, they're every bit as scary as the Ogdoad. How's Tatha-hem handling what happened, and how are you getting along with Thoth?"
"I do not know if Tatha-hem is even aware something has happened," Samael notes. "We are not exactly chummy, being from very different factions - and because my master basically enslaved Tatha-hem in the first place. I get along fine with Thoth, as I have no interactions with him."
"Awww," Hakeber says. "I had this image of the two of you getting all hot 'n heavy when the mortals were gone."
"I could feel her, feel how conflicted she was. That was all I could sense, however." Tasha looks up at the fore wall, staring as if she might see the great ebing at the heart of the ship. "I should visit her and see how she is feeling." And then she reaches over with her tail to pull Hakeber's. "He's wearing my body you know."
"Hmm?" Hakeber asks Tasha. "Yes.. but he's also naked," she points out.
"Oh, are you going to wear clothes in this new form then?" Sam asks.
This results in Tasha squeezing her eyes shut, followed by covering her third eye with a hand. "I don't need to picture Thoth with a male me Hake. Agh, it's going to be stuck in my head now!" The young woman shivers. "This will only make things harder." She shakes her head, vigorously, then peeks with a normal eye. "I think I have to, Galactics are very hoity-toity about 'culture' and 'clothes' and 'don't be a barbarian'."
"Pockets," Hakeber says. "That's why clothes are a sign of civilization. Because of pockets."
"I do miss pockets," Tasha agrees, letting her hands fall and opening her eyes. "Besides, I'm kind of excited to see what I can wear, now. I'm skinnier and lighter!" She bounces again, on her cloven hooves. There's a bit of this, then Tasha blinks and remembers to ask, "Oh, Sam, do you know what was done to Hake? Does she have a spore? I'm thinking of asking Charon or Persephone to look at her before we go."
"She has memory," Sam explains.
"Like ... a databank? A computer chip?" Tasha waggles her hands; please elaborate and stop being so dramatic.
"Somewhat insistent memory," the Karnor grumbles.
"You have your former lover in your head, do you not?" Sam asks Tasha.
"Why do you know that?" Tasha rolls her eyes, but then has to look elsewhere given how uncomfortable a topic it is. "I just have a fragment, not a complete soul. Also, all the spirits and pieces and fragments and parts that I was either made of or gathered are part of me, now. She's still there, but more for the, um, advice. Like a PersoCom. Or maybe a datapad."
"What Hakeber has is.. a strain of virulent memories," Sam notes. "Not a fragment of Katha-hem, really. But they can cause an immune response, as Hakeber no doubt suffered through, and probably influence her dreams or make her hallucinate. But they probably have a specific purpose, just as your spore did."
"And there's no way to know what that is or safely remove them before that purpose happens?" Tasha prompts, brows and ears perking.
"Katha-hem wants me to free Sadu-hem," Hakeber notes. "Even though that doesn't make any sense, from what you said earlier."
Twisting her muzzle, Tasha nods. "That even if I free her not only will we have to content with the Khattan powers backing the facility, but we might even have to destroy her because she endangers us?" As it is, she knows that Sedu-hem is being bled for use in stator technology. It would ultimately mean a conflict with a Galactic power, to support a Dark agenda, which Tasha isn't sure how to sell to the rest of the Galactics yet -- especially if she tries to grow her forces and show herself to be attempting to handle the Ogdru-hem threat.
"But after Sadu-hem's free, I'm free too right?" Hakeber asks. "Even if the Ogdru-hem is only free for a second?"
"Freedom can mean a lot of things," Sam notes. "But the Ogdru-hem have to keep their word."
Tasha nods slowly to the question. "I'm very much willing to risk an operation against the station that contains Sedu-hem, but we'll need to consult with our Galactic representatives and maybe consider preparing ourselves to fight conventional Galactic forces. Ser Heraphel suggested I meet with the Vril-ya before risking anything against House Khomen, and that's done. We're a lot better prepared than we were, but I'll have to discuss the idea with Gabriel and other senior and representative members to see if we can even succeed. Maybe other powers and Houses will back up our investigation, but it will mean being noticed by Khomen and adding him to our list of enemies."
"Hopefully the King in Yellow will be forgiving of delays," Sam says with a nod.
"Ugh," goes Tasha, who had forgotten one god while being remade by another. "He did tell me to assassinate Sedu-hem. We'll ... We'll consider expediting our itinerary for Hake's sake, and for all our sake as well."
"What Khattan contacts do we have available?" Hakeber asks. "We'll need some sort of advisor for dealing with Khomen."
Tasha puts a finger to her muzzle and tilts her head. "Uhh, the only Khattan I know well and have helped is Dassen K'tar of the Seeders, he was the one who mentioned this voyage in the first place. I haven't had time to make any other Khattan contacts, and I've been concerned they'd see through my cover story." Her head then tilts to the other side. "Except, now I'm a bit different, aren't I? That may be difficult to explain; this whole trip will be difficult for the Seeders, and we haven't even found anything about the Seeds."
"Well, maybe Charon knows something about Starseeds," Hakeber suggests. "But.. this is the guy from the party right? He might be able to help you forge believable credentials."
"He did seems very nice for a Khattan," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. "I liked him, more than I was expecting to. I was having one of those moments where I wander off and doubt everything. You remember those, Hake, like around when we first met, or that one time where I died saving a an adorable hyperuniversal space whale." She shifts her finger from the side of her muzzle to push on her nose, with its enchanced feminity -- and possibly adorability. "He was very welcoming of a lost, yet exciting, soul like myself."
"Not all Khattans are merchant princes," Hakeber says, nodding. "Otherwise the bazaar on Caltrop wouldn't be full of them trying to sell.. fancy junk. But this guy must have some connections - just maybe more non-Khattan than Khattan ones."
"Either way I'm excited to return and stun everyone with my weird life and mind-twisting revelations," Tasha insists, bouncing a little on her seeemingly longer legs and delicate, bifurcated hooves. "Mr. I. will probably have amazing ideas for what I could try wearing with my new me, and we'll be making a lot from this trip, so there'll be spending time. Also, I want to eye everyone with my magic eyeball."
"You should still fit in your regular clothes," Hakeber mutters, one hand feeling up Tasha's rear.. and the other one doing a comparison on Sam's rear.
Tasha responds to this by reaching around Hakeber in an exagerated sort of way, hugging on and around her neck, then laying her head on Hakeber's shoulder. "You can admit it Hake, I am ultra soft." It's here thatw she starts rubbing her cheek against her friend's. "Ulllltra-soooooft."
"Actually, your fur is softer now," Hakeber admits. "I still have the softest butt though! Barely any muscle tone at all! The butt of an academic."
"Pizza-powered butt." Tasha switches from reaching around Hakeber's shoulders to reaching around to grab her butt. "Don't get any ideas about you, me, and Sam though."
"Why not?" Hakeber asks. "I no longer have bunny privileges, you know. It'd be like being with twins."
"Sam's a demon and I'm ... a demom-fraction, I think. We're probably bad for you. Besides, Gabriel and Katie would be mad at me if I was with you and him and not them, first. I'm not prepared for that level of angry." Not tthat Tasha stops being cuddily, or butt-grabby for that matter. "But if you want to go do things with Sam I won't stop you. You know everything I do about him."
"There is much you do not know," Sam says. "But I can cater to your sexual desires, of course. I will try to not to blow your mind."
This offer makes Hakeber pinch Tasha's butt. "Soo.. oh, right, Thoth. Or should we keep calling him Dr. Amuntaten?"
"I know how much your type likes mind-blowing." The not-hybrid then squeaks when pinched, her larger eyes going wider, but then she grins. "Hake likes blowing of other areas, of course." Hake gets a kiss on the cheek, then Tasha slides off and dances away, which is a delicate form of motion she'd have never gotten away with before. "Doctor Eyes? Well, he did mention wanting to visit some locales. He's probably stuffed with information, too, even if getting any of it is going to be a trial. Still, I'd rather have him here with us than off out and about doing who-knows-what, and I still have a lot of questions. Should I leave you two love imps alone and go talk to him, then?"
"Do you mean to have him be part of your entourage?" Samael asks, looking horrified at the thought of dealing with Thoth for extended periods.
"As long as Tasha has the Waybuilder marker, she can probably get him to do anything," Hakeber notes, and wags her tail.
"I know, I know, he's difficult. I thought his father was stubborn and pushy, but at least he and I got along after a while. Thoth is like all my teachers crammed together and turned in to a disapproving god." And so the as-yet-unnamed species of female throws her hands up and spreads them outward. "So, what can I do? He even arranged the creation of my Titan. He's clearly up to something, and he is very knowledgable. I'll just ... um ... make sure he has his own bunk area and make sure you both know there's no fighting on the ship -- and I don't care who is a god or demon or what-not."
"Don't forget about his luggage," Sam reminds.
"Oh right the mystery snake. I bet he's like Charon and he has a whole planet in that Naga. I've seen so much the idea of it doesn't even bother me anymore!" Tasha waggles her upheld hands in alarm, then lets them fall and rub-fluffs her neck and shoulder mane up. "If he tries to eat me or if Thoth tries to Vril-slap me, uh, someone save me. Be back in ... soon, maybe?"
"Don't let him touch your forehead," Sam advises, and then turns into an amorphous mass of tentacles and.. stuff.. that carries Hakeber off into the shadows.
Tasha watches this for a moment, then simply shrugs. Turning, she walks -- then skips -- off toward the interior of the ship as she enjoys the springiness of her new legs and the vitality of her perfected existence.
The ship is quiet, of course. Chances are that Thoth is still on the upper deck. Which means Tasha has the run of the main deck at the moment.
Realizing she's along, Tasha picks up her pace until she's sprinting down the hallway with her arms out and hands catching the wind. "Eeeeeeeeee~" She squeels, taking a corner in a lurching turn, then runs down the next hall and towards the bridge wondering if the ancient, hyper-intelligent creators of this vessel expected it'd end up having a screaming teenage alien excitedly running around it because she's happy to be whole.
The halls echo, and her footsteps sound very different from her usual clomping - probably because she doesn't need shoes for her hooves. And maybe not even the usual trimming and other onerous maintenance they required. Running also feels different. With less course fur, she can feel the air better. Not quite as well as bare-skin-human sensation, but more than she felt as a hybrid. Neither Vartans nor Karnors were made for delicacy, after all.
Feeling the wind against her new body inspires further joy, joy she takes right to the bridge. She hurries inside, then dances a circle around Gabriel's command chair before flopping in to it and crossing her legs, leaning back. "Contact the aliens! Fire all the guns! Engage hyperdrive!" She claps her hands to her cheeks, then squeels. It's alive and anew, recreated and ironed out, she realizes just how much her old body wasn't arranged correctly. Little pains and avoidances she had made all her life are gone, odd muscle positions, ways she could never stretch well, her somewhat awkward balance, it's all gone. She feels fresh, cleaned, purified. Being a robust hybrid is all well and good, she decides, but being made right by a true expert is another thing entirely.
"We do not have any guns," the Niss reply to Tasha's voice.
"Hi Niss! Look at me, Persephone made me better! I'm a Type-V civilized wonder-thing!" Tasha waves upward, which is where she feels disembodied voices come from. "And I felt great. Super-great! Amazing! Spectacular! Tremendous! Stellar! Sublime! Fabulous! Astounding!" She taps a button, then the chair reclines, and so she stretches out. "So how are you all?"
"We are operating at maximal consensus," the Niss reply. "This environment is very interesting. We like interesting environments. Your vocabulary has been expanded, as well as your mood. Your consensus level has increased considerably as well."
"I do feel like my inner consensus has increased considerably. Have you tried talking to the Waybuilder, Charon? He thinks you're interesting, I'm sure he'd enjoy sharing information with you. Did you know he can think in excess of light speed? You can finally talk to a being who won't be slow and boring! Not me, but you know, maybe Hakeber or Lacci." She sprawls across the chair, feeling somehow smaller, but also very okay with that. Spritely. She wouldn't have known she'd like this if she hadn't experienced it firsthand. "I can ask him if you're shy!"
"I have observed the remote unit licking and chewing on everything it can get hold of," the Niss point out. "Such a meeting would require a chaperone."
"You can't, like, mind-to-mind communicate? Flash some lights, throw some bits around or something?" Tasha sits up, too energized to relax for more than a few minutes. She hops out of the seat and speed walks over to the railing, peering down at the water and tempted to jump in. "I do agree his teeth are very dangerous. Did you know you can bite a Origin Marker and break it? Charon taught me that."
"We communicate through contact, in order to establish a channel," the Niss explain. "We cannot simply broadcast on all possible entanglements. We are not as durable as an Origin Marker."
"I can sympathize. As it turns out, I can also be destroyed by being bitten by extra-universal space children." Tasha decides against a dip -- at least for the moment. She hurries back across the bridge, heading for the elevator. "I'll ask Char-- Wait, why am going to go ask him? He's a Waymaker. It can be easy to forget he's a kilometers-long spacecraft when his remote is a inches long scooty-butt dragon."
Placing a hand to her forehead like she saw in a vid once, Tasha thinks, Chaaaron, this is Taaasha. The squishy brain-ball Niss would like to talk about thiiings with you. Can you ... Tasha pauses, remembering the dragon is supposedly just one of the remotes. Can you spare a remote to taaalk to them? They'd liiike it. It would be veeery eduuucaaational.
There's no immediate reply - but then distance was never a factor before, either. The dragonet-remote was always right there for the most part. She hasn't seen it since before being rebuilt by Persephone.
Tasha removes her hand, letting it hang in space. "I guess scooty-butt dragons have poor reception range. Ah, well, I'll ask when I see him again, hopefully his mother isn't too mad. She's very nice, Niss." And so she heads in to the elevator, pushing the button to take her to the Owner's Deck. "Is Doctor Ancient God still up top?"
"Yes, he is in his quarters with Scholar Heth's'shis'less," the Niss report. "He has not left since your previous visit. Do you wish to message him, or would you rather go in person?"
"I'm going to barge in and make an ass of myself!" Tasha bounces on her hooves, then makes like a remote and scoots on out when the doors slide open. After hurrying across the lounge, Tasha knocks -- with both dainty hands. "Hellloooo, Doctor Hermes-Thoth! I have arisen from the grave and then arisen from being Human! I piloted your Titan and did the things you probably wanted! I know you're in there!"
There's no sound from the other side of the door, of course, but when it opens it looks like the Naga is suddenly settling onto the floor. But that's still happening behind Thoth. His eyes whirr a bit, and the irises expand and contract. "Tasha, I presume," he says. "You do not seem to be inebriated." He then steps forward.. which would mean Tasha would have to step back to avoid a collision.
And so the collision happens. "Ow," Tasha deadpans. "I just got this body. If you break it you can explain to Persephone why it's broken."
Thoth clutches Tasha's upper arms to keep from knocking her over.. and lifts her up off the floor. "The other Waybuilder has arrived?" he asks the dangling woman.
"If you're going to molest me you'll have to ask Gabriel for permission. It's one of the rules. I think it's in the charter contract." Tasha sways her legs, blinking down at Thoth. "And yes. She came to me in a dream just a bit ago, and then ... Well, I'm not really sure what she did but it involved a aurora and somewhere else. Maybe she brough her universe with her? It's hard to talk about pan-universal intertemporal, interspacial, inter-ruleset relationships in a straightforward way."
Thoth does set Tasha back on her feet, but does look her up and down. There even a sense of tingling where his gaze may be tracking over her, but that could just be her imagination. "I wish to meet her, as we discussed," he says. "This will almost certainly require an introduction."
"Well, you did cease slapping Samael when I asked and I did sort of have to lie to you for the very best of reasons, so I don't mind arranging something. Lets see if I can reach her. Mind you, she didn't send a remote, she sort of ... Lets just say she did something and that will have to do?" Tasha gestures behind her, to one of the lounge chairs, then turns and walks over that way. "She gave me a Marker, did you know that? 'Tradition' she called it. Maybe I should start a collection."
"Since you have no pockets, I assume you do not have it with you," Thoth says, following to the couches. "Your body appears to be more practical now."
"Practical and sexier. And lighter! And now I also have awesome hooves." The young woman, who looks a little younger now thanks to her body style, drps in to a seat and crosses her legs, wiggling the dangled hoof. "They much superior to my old ones. And you're right, it was in Katie's arms when I woke and I didn't have the heart to wake her up, not after, uh, deep and meaningful intellectual opinion sharing." Tasha grins. "I'll get it when I head back. Or, maybe I always have it? Well, I'll figure it out in a bit -- ready to try and meet Persephone?"
"Is that not it next to you then?" Thoth asks, pointing to the sapphire colored shape next to Tasha on the couch.
Tasha whips her head around, eyes going wide. "How do they DO that?!" She gapes a moment, then shakes ehr head before reaching her arms out and making a gimme-gimme motion for Thoth to hand it to her.
So Thoth picks it up and hands it over. "It is very blue," he notes. "Does Persephone like that color?"
"Persephone is the Color, I think. Color, color as in incarnate-uncaranate memetic conceptual qualia Color. That's according to Charon. I think the symbol on it is the symbol for their species as a whole, or maybe it represents something about her like Horus's does him. We can ask!" Tasha takes the Marker and looks at it, rubbing the fingers of one hand over its surface before nodding. "Ready?"
Thoth's expression is nondescript, as he nods. He may be incapable of expressing things.
"Don't be too excited now, remember we're a dignified ship." Tasha nods solemnly, then wraps her hands around the marker before holding it to her heart. "Mooooooooooom."
Thoth watches and waits. "Is she communicating with you?" he finally asks after several moments of nothing much happening. The marker is cool to Tasha's (sensitive) touch.
Tasha looks up, ears flicking. "I may not exactly know how all this works," she admits, then she peers down at the Marker. "As it turns out Type V civilization technology is a little hard to figure out. It's like that saying Gabriel uses, except turn it around so that using it is indistinguishable from guesswork. If she doesn't have a remote nearby and I don't think she's physically in our universe, I'm not sure how to contact her. I do think she's nearby, pan-universally at least."
"I would assume she would helping her child repair himself," Thoth notes. "So perhaps you could ask her if the Marker serves a purpose? I didn't expect Charon's avatar to chew on my boot. There is no telling if these beings have a sense of humor or not."
"She said I was funny when I made a pass at her!" And then Tasha quickly holds her hands up. "I was joking! Mostly. Anyone who has cute kids like Charon is attractive! Maybe I still just want to take care of him." The hands drop and she sighs. "But of course he's monolithic and I'm just a very exciting and cunning lupocyte. I do like to aim high, though."
"He does not seem to be overflowing with cosmic wisdom," Thoth admits. "I have higher hopes for his mother. Aside from being more skilled at.. fixing bodies.. what was your impression of her?"
Tasha sits up and leans forward enthusiastically. "She's very nice! When I had set out to meet higher beings, really make friends with gods and aliens, I think deep in my heart I'd been hoping to meet someone like her. Not, of course, that, uh, solidly ecuational beings like yourself aren't interesting, or even beings like Hastur aren't, but there's been a distinct lack of warmth and promise. I had begun to worry the only thing I was going to find in the multiverse was layers of aggression and, well, a discouraging outlook amongst higher beings. Not so with Persephone. She even let me hug what I think was one of her remotes. Also," she gestures at herself indicatively, " ... all of me decided to sit next to her. Her presence is very relaxing, very ... soothing. A little like how Charon is, but different. More mature. Comforting. Deep and peaceful, but wise. And like with Charon, the perception of something vast beyond what I was seeing and hearing. She called herself a god, too, talked to me about shaping universes, how easy it is. I'll never really know how great she is, or all that she is, and that makes me sad -- but I'm glad I got to meet even a little part of her."
"They aren't like.. the Dark Beings or the Vril-ya," Thoth agrees. "They aren't disconnected and trying to puzzle out physical existence, or being confused by baryonic matter. I was supposed to be a bridge, but I suppose I am not that different from Samael. A hybrid. I have to wonder if Persephone could fix me then. These circumstances are special, centered around your acts to protect her child. I am concerned that she would not be so warm towards something like me. But I must try, at least. It is part of my reason for being, after all. What would come afterwards though? I don't think I've ever actually thought about that."
Tasha leans forward even more, eyes widening. "Is that why you want to meet her so badly?" Her fingers wiggle, then she leans back and clicthes her balled hands to her chest, Marker and all and squeals. "You seem hard edged and unapproachable, but deep inside you're just like me, and that's so very cute." She beams for a long moment, then notes, "Well now I have to help you. And you're not exactly right: You did act to protect Charon. In fact you were the first of us to try to do so. You might have been wrong, but you did try and you risked our wrath in doing it. Maybe you thought you were safe, maybe not, but you must have guessed there was some danger in what you were doing. That has to be worth something, right?"
"I am uncertain that neutralizing Samael counts," Thoth notes. "Charon did not seem to be concerned about either of us. But that could have been childish naivete or an elaborate act. Having only met the one remote, it is entirely possible that they each have their own personality."
"I thought of that, too. That maybe each of them represents some facet of Charon's true personality, or they're beings the Waybuilder feels would allow them to experience a unique perspective on reality. Charon's supposed to be learning, so maybe the little dragon is all about curiosity. There could be other remotes with other interests, specializations, or ways of existing. Persephone told me they have to use remotes because they think beyond light speed, so spekaing to us directly is impossible -- or at least very boring. Sort of like the Niss, but more so." Tasha sniffs, settling back in her chair and resting her hands in her lap, Marker cupped between them. "As I said, it's sad that there's only so much I can learn about their existence. I am sadly limited, as are you, but we do our best. Maybe I should have tried using my Titan? or maybe my new eye?"
"The Niss has understandable origins," Thoth notes, then his lenses whirr as he stares at Tasha. "What new eye? Are they not both new?"
"Well I guess it's /all/ new. And /not/. Persephone said she took all that I am and ironed out the differences, removed the flaws and changed only what needed to be changed to make it all /work/. She even said I 'made myself', that I am all that I am -- which is very sweet I think. Very /self confidence boosting/. Like I said, she's very nice." Tasha then leans in and points to her forehead. "First, Sam said you shouldn't tocuh it. Second, don't slap me when I get to third. Third, Persephoen took /ALL/ that I was and made it /all/ me, she said 'it will become my strength' but she also admitted she wasn't sure what would happen, either. So, we /also/ know there are things she /doesn't know. Oh: Fourth, I absorbed the Dark spore and now it's part of me now. The eye is made from it, it's ... How did Sam put it? It serves me, now. I can see things -- strange colors, sounds and /tastes/ coming from people and a few objects like the /Marker/. Sam said there may also be other side effects." She bites her lip then cocks her head wearily. "I hope you won't bet upset that I'm possibly a /little/ bit of a demon, now. /I've/ decided to be what I am, no matter what."
"You were always a bit of a demon," Thoth claims. "But you are saying there is a bit of Dark in you. Odd. Dark Beings do not, cannot have souls, so such an integration is.. beyond my understanding."
"They can't?" Tasha perks her ears, leaning in again. "Aren't souls ... data? Sort of like bits, but they use other information carriers and ... abstracts. Or is the nature of their essential information different than other types, and those other types are souls? Like how the Vril-ya souls are different from 'mortal' souls? I think Eve complained about that. But of course Dark beings can break down souls, which is how they make more of themselves, so they're like ... what's left when souls are broken down? Anti-souls? Empt--" The young woman sits up straighter suddenly, blinking and gripping the Marker with a start. "Sam. When I looked at Sam with the eye, he looked like a outlined void. Like a hole in space."
"Vril is an energy, and that is what makes up the Vril-ya," Thoth explains. "It is not at all like the soul that baryonic life creates. Dark Beings are made of dark energy, and so are also not unlike the Vril-ya. Both types have no.. impact.. on the physical universe. It does not acknowledge them. They do not leave a space-time imprint."
"But they do in their own universe, don't they? Does that mean if I went to Vril or a Dark reality, I'd not have a soul but they would? Or ... " tasha looks down at herself, frowning in thought. "Maybe I have more than one?"
"Our respective realities are not ones where the concept would even apply," Thoth explains. "The Vril is energy and information both, inextricably bound together. To expend the energy is to expend the information. This universe conserves information, but only its own information. Destroy a Vril-ya, or a Dark Being, and all that they were is lost. Myself, and the Ogdru-hem and even Samael are hybrids; partly energy from outside, partly baryonic matter. I cannot say if it is enough to grant us souls or only incomplete ones. The universe may or may not recognize all that we are."
"And may not conserve you. By information you mean data, a ... finite system that maintains its data cohesion through some process versus universes that have no limits, but also have no guarantee of perpetuity." Tasha nods slowly, wondering why she never realized this before. She decides it was, perhaps, a language barrier. Relying on Nora's piecemeal linguistics is not the same as having it integrated with her very being. Before she strugled, recieved concepts and words intermitantly and with fragmented understanding. Now, it seems, she has it all -- or at least all that remains intact. Even after the transfer completed it was never fully intact, and she suspects Nora's advanced education would have held more than what she knows, but she at least has more than she did and that must be enough. "Something gained, something lost? You can grow beyond us, but the price of failure is ... higher."
"It seems your integration allows you to perceive dark.. energy or essence," Thoth posits. "There is a different between dark energy and Dark Energy of course."
"Dark energy -- this universe's dark energy -- is just another sort of in-universe data, isn't it? But Dark Energy is foreign, rules from outside -- rules that are the same thing as the energy itself, like how Vril-ya are energy and data and that is the same thing?" Tasha's ears swivel forward, searching for confirmation.
"For the most part," Thoth says. "You could say that Vril and Dark Energy are their own realities, which an only be extended into your reality via special means. For the Vril-ya, it was the armor that contained them. For the Ogdoad, it is the Ogdru-hem."
"I've though, having met amny of these beings and learned a great deal about them, that the key is the bridge. To interact with other realities you need a bridge, something that lets their rules intercat with your rules. An intermediary, like you, or someone who has been given the rules and so become something between the two, like me. From everythign I've seen and learned here, and what you said, that seems to be the case universally. I think the Waybuilders must know of a great many means to bridge, or else they just avoid realities too different from their own and only repel invasions and make more realities like their own I know some of them are very active in hunting the Ogdoad and the Ogdru-hem -- that's part of why Charon is in trouble. If his aunt shows up, she may just erase all of us -- Charon included!" Tasha shudders, settling back. Then she takes a deep breath and exhales. "I'll try and get a meeting for you, but we shouldn't linger for his and our sake. I don't know how they detect Dark activity from outside a universe, or how their time and ours intersects, so I'm not sure if 'taking a long tme' even means anything to the risk, but just in case ... " She shrugs; best not to risk it.
"We haven't been spat out, so I imagine Charon is not fully recovered yet," Thoth offers. "But time is likely short, as you say. Is there anything you need from me?"
"Make ready to meet her. We should do what we can with the Waymakers while we can still talk to them. I don't know if we'll get another chance." Tasha glances off at a wall display, noting the time. She'd best be getting back before the others wonder where she ran off to. "We'll head out on the shuttle. I can justify taking you and not him because of the risk it imposes on both him and Charon. Is there anything else ... Oh." She leans in once more. "So what do you two do in your cabin? is he really just ... luggage?"
"There are mysteries that mortals should not delve too deeply into," Thoth answers.
Tasha snorts a laugh at that. "We both know I crossed that line already. I'm probably npt even entirely mortal anymore! I have a demon spore in my forehead and I just had a long chat with a Type V mommy."
"We don't have the sort of relationship that would let me answer your question," Thoth insists.
"I'll interpret that as 'maybe when I trust you more'," Tasha decides, and then she's standing. "Well! This was informative. Get whatever you need and meet me at the shuttle, we'll bring hake too if she isn't still, uh, indisposed. I can fly, I'm once again tall enough to reach all the controls."
"Couldn't use your human toes to manipulate controls?" Thoth asks. "Modo does it all the time."
"It's a Vartan shuttle, it's made for Vartan heights. I am a very short Var-- ex-Vartan-half," Tasha explains. She heads for the exit, and on to the lift, nodding when Thoth arrives with her. "By the way, I convinced your father to meet with you. I thought you'd both appreciate it."
"Hmm," Thoth replies. "I don't see how."
The hangar is quiet, with no sign of Sam or Hakeber. Even when Tasha looks up to see if they're stuck to the ceiling.
"I seem to remember a certain someone staring up at my Titan with longing, will-I-ever-live-up-to-him robo-eyes," she points out before heading in to the hangar. "Well, no Hake or Sam, I guess it's just us! Hop on board and we'll head back. I'll leave a message before we go."
In short order Tasha is in the pilot's seat starting up the small ship, going through the pre-flight start with easy confidence. It helps a lot it's a Vartan shuttle, and thus a Khattan shuttle, and thus easy to use and automated. "The flight out is a nice look at Charon's mouth, he's really mind-boggling gigantic. I kind of still want to hug all of him, though."
"Perhaps you can have Liza sew you a plush toy version," Thoth suggests.. probably seriously. As they make their way back to the 'garden', they pass through the damaged area, which is obscured by blue mist, hiding the damage at the moment.
"See I can't tell if you're joking, but now I'm going to do just that anyway because now I want one." Tasha glances out the shuttle canopy, nodding her head towards the mist. "It looks like repairs are underway then, because that wasn't here before. I'm not even sure what most of these structures do either, but apparently none of them are technological in the robotics-and-electricity sense. They only use organic structures, all of them."
"Living structures," Thoth says. "Not necessarily organic. There are many types of life." He seems to be turning to look at as much as possible before they reach the garden-iest part of the garden, where the others are camped.
Tasha parks the shuttle in its previous spot, mostly out of habit, and shuts it down before unstrapping herself. Standing, she nods towards the exit. "Well, lets go find the little shoe-chewer and ask him if he can reach Persephone."