After the group breaks up to do their homework, the chime on the door to Tasha's office rings before she even finishes sitting at her desk.
And so Tasha's butt, like her mind, hovers between sitting down to do work and preparing for an immediate disaster. She mentally juggles for a moment, then decides come what may at least she can be sitting down. After doing so, she crosses her legs, settles back, and folds her hands together on her lap. "Come in."
The door opens on a nervous looking Vartan. "Do you have a moment, Tasha?" Lacci asks.
Tasha considers saying 'no' and then staring at her (currently blank) screen until it ceases to amuse her, but decides instead she ought to show leadership and that Lacci really doesn't -- usually -- deserve the teasing she heaps on her. Teasing, or mistreatment; she's not sure which it is.
"Have a seat," Tasha bids the Vartan in a friendly voice, entangling her hands and gesturing at her array of visitor chairs.
Lacci picks the one best suited to wings, and stills herself from fidgeting. "I feel a bit lost," she tells Tasha. "I suppose that's the point though. But.. am I really a fool? I don't understand what Dr. Amun.. what Thoth is asking."
"Oh. I thought that might be it," Tasha admits, and she did. It's not often Lacci willingly visits her, after all. "And I don't think I'm a 'Hermit,' nor is Hakeber a Priestess or Katherine a 'Magician'. So the first thing we can see if that he's most likely dealing with something that is not literal. This makes sense," here Tasha waves her left hand through the air, bringing up her screens, " ... because 'magic' is not often about reality and directness. It can be, but the methods of it are obscure." She glances at her blank screen s for a moment, then air-types in the names and runs a broad search. "But he wouldn't make us chase something too obscure, either. It's a beginner's lesson, after all."
"But is it Terran then? Those words show up in lots of places, after all," Lacci says. There are indeed a lot of results from just searching on the names themselves.
"They could be. Thoth taught on ancient Terra, and he made a point of telling us so." Tasha types again, this time narrowing the words down to just Terran results. "Even his name is Terran: Thoth, from somewhere called 'Egypt', which I think is also where that Eeee woman was from? Whatever that happens to be, I know it's Terran. Thoth liked using Terran names in a great many things. The Magi Titans, for example, are also Terran references. The four of us also know the most about Terran mythologies and histories, as three of us are descended from Terrans and you're a scholar focusing on Terrans."
"Military history," Lacci notes. "Terrans are the most warlike species of the current age. Although the Silent-Ones are who everyone believes to be warlike. The other Galactics just don't understand, because there are rules to war that they've always had. The Terrans didn't have rules."
"I've heard that, that Terrans are 'wolflings' -- and I don't mean Karnors -- and that they didn't have access to the Library system to guide their development. I'm uncertain if this was intentional of Eve or not, but surely Thoth must be aware of the difference. It may even be why he chose Terra and not some other world and some other species. Unless he did that too, of course. He's been around a long time." Tasha glances at her screens to check for updates, then back to Lacci. "Going against the rules seems to be an important element of 'magic'."
"The son of Horus is known on Varta," Lacci claims. "A great sage. But.. that's it. Mention of him, but no records of what he did. So people just assumed he was made up later, or meant to link us back to Horus or something. If he did anything for Vartans, it was in secret."
"Secrecy is also a common theme," the red woman notes, nodding slowly. "Lets see if his exploits on Terra shed any light on our homework." And so Tasha adds the name 'Thoth' and 'alchemy' to her search list, targeted at the Terran database.
Something that isn't just an odd reference shows up on Tasha's screen finally. Two drawings, both involving humans but with odd, archaic clothing and drawn very flat. They are just the first in a series of similar images though, all representing the same thing, all variations by with certain common elements.
"This might be something." Tasha gestures and her central display mirrors so Lacci can also see it. "Some old ... paintings? Pictures, at the very least, of Humans. They look like something from my homeworld, or at least my previous one. Gabriel said my world reminded him of something out of a fantasy story or of something from ancient Terra, so maybe these are from a story or ancient Terra?"
Adding Thoth also brings up an image that is clearly carved in stone, of a man with the head of a bird with a long, curved beak and holding an odd symbol labeled as an 'ankh'. Other images refer to 'Hermes' and 'Hermes Trismegistus' the first showing a young man with winged sandals and holding a staff with two serpents twining around it, forming a sort of circle at the top where their snouts touch. This is labeled 'caduceus'. The other image is of an older man holding a sphere. There is also a related image labeled as 'Baphomet' that looks disturbingly similar to Thotep.
The original set of pictures are labeled 'The Fool' and 'The Hermit' and belong to.. ancient playing cards? They are listed as part of the 'Major Arcana' of a 'Tarot' deck.
"He called it his 'brand'," Tasha murmurs as she studies the image of Thotep. "His theme, how he's seen by mortals. Shades and words and will, limiting something to a form. His form, his choice?" She shakes her head, hand on her chin, staring for a long moment more before turning to the other images. It seems to her that she shouldn't focus just on methodology and results of the Vril-ya and the Shadow, but the manner in which they convey themselves in to the minds of other beings. Thoth seemed to try to convey this to her by suggesting she take on his role. Power in concepts, an extension of what she knows of the memetic's influence on magic.
The red woman thinks on this, so hard and long she almost forgets Lacci is present. Blinking, she sits up and clears her throat. "Well these seem on target. Here we have Thotep, Thoth, and a deck with cards carrying all the names. The Fool is labeled ... card zero? Is it the first or not a card?" She brings it up; Tasha is familiar with several card decks, but not this one.
There is a lot of information about the Tarot, but not all of it is consistent. The image is always of an apparently carefree man about to step off of a cliff. But he also holds a white rose, and Thoth is really fond of the rose as a symbol. Often there's a white dog at his side. But the text goes on to describe The Fool as representing new beginnings and having faith in the future, being inexperienced and innocent and not knowing what to expect. The dog is a symbol of protection and loyalty, apparently.
Tasha tries to repress a smile, because she can feel's imminent relief, even excitement, and it seems to be infectious even in its pre-existence state. "Does any of that sound familiar?" Tasha asks, putting a taloned finger through the screen and using it to underline the text, "Because it sounds very familiar to me. And look," she pokes a finger through her display, which causes the rose to glow, "Another rose."
"So I'm innocent and inexperienced and seeking out.. adventure," Lacci says. "That is not the sort of a fool I am used to, but I cannot say it isn't fitting." She also seems a bit relieved. "I'm the one who hasn't really been immersed in all of this strangeness. The control?"
"An outsider looking in. The innocent, the inexperienced," Tasha agrees, sitting back. She spreads her hands. "On multiple occasions I've noticed your considerable lack of awareness of the danger around you. Take Urgo-hem and Bumper. When I confronted Urgo-hem's avatar in the lounge and told you to leave immediately, you seemed more confused and annoyed at me rather than trusting that I was trying to save you from serious danger. With Bumper, you stood and glared at her as if your disapproval could make her not exist, yet you didn't seem aware of how incredibly dangerous she is, when she choses to be, or that if you had upset her the Dainty Mauler may have destroyed us then and there. Bumper, I think, knew exactly how little a threat you were -- and you didn't notice that either." Fearing that review sounds far too condemning, Tasha adds, "Yet despite the countless dangers around us you've never asked to go home, or even for a break. It's like your lack of understanding is a shield. Or, maybe, like being transparent. The energies of threat and danger pass through you, because they can't make contact in your mind."
"That man on Caltrop," Lacci says, after reflecting for a moment. "He accused of me 'wearing my ignorance like armor' about my own people." She says it softly, but it's clear she's really just now considering it to me more than an insult.
"Learning the truth can be painful," Tasha says, not unsympathetically. She folds her hands on the desk and leans forward. "When I began this journey, back before I had met anyone other than Aaron, I faced a similar lesson. I saw just how powerless and meaningless I was when the one thing I thought was my advantage was nullified by circumstance, and then I had nothing. It was in how I struggle after that I was able to find a new way to live, and begin this adventure."
"But he isn't a small white dog," Lacci points out. "And he's got black parts. Are you supposed to be my bunny-dog then?"
"What do you think?" Tasha means it as a way to help Lacci self-reflect, but she's also curious as to the answer. "Aaron was -- is -- someone who saw me as more than a pretty face and was willing to be thee for me as I found my way. He is loyal and protective. Do you think these qualities apply to me?"
"Well.. you do tend to run off into danger, but I suppose that's you being protective," Lacci says. "And it's not just about me. Did you see something in me other than.. well, what was the first impression I made on you? I'm not sure how to spot loyalty, exactly. I haven't been enough of a problem have I? If I have been a problem or done stuff to make you upset with me you'd tell me wouldn't you?"
Tasha taps her fingers together and looks off at the ceiling for a moment. She tries very hard not to laugh or grin, and to her great relief, manages to succeed for the most part. After taking a moment to make sure she won't do either thing if she tries answer, she lowers her head and speaks. She starts with what she saw in Lacci, hoping that will stave off any impulse to smartassery or ill-delivered honesty. "What I see in you is someone willing to oppose what you think is wrong at risk to yourself. It may have been innocence, an inability to asses the level of danger you were in, but you still chose to stand up to him based on your perceptions. The same is true for Bumper. Because we also stand up against unknowable dangers for what we believe is correct, I thought you had potential." She nods. Suitably correct and unamusing, exactly what she needed. "And I did agree with many of the things he said, and still do. The innocence of Galactic Vartans as a whole can be stunning to me, and he, being an outsider closer to my own origin, saw them in a way similar to how I do. I'm sure Bumper sees the same thing. It's a mindset that can ... aggravate those who become aware of it." But Tasha teaches over and tries to pat Lacci's hand, then. "It's good you're starting to see it for what it is. It's not pleasant and knowing the truth is a burden, but like this card, in not knowing, you can walk off a cliff."
"I always thought I was the one who understood things better than my peers," Lacci admits. "They wouldn't believe me about things I studied, claiming it was all 'made up' because that's what Terrans do; tell stories. So.. maybe that led to me thinking I new better than other Vartans about.. well.. everything." She actually looks ashamed.
The hand gets more patting. "It can be easy to think you know everything when you desperately need to believe it, and don't know any better. How can you learn you're wrong if nothing challenges your assumptions?" And then Tasha drops back in her chair, eyes wide. "That's part of what makes our journey so interesting, we get to see the truth behind so much. Not everyone can handle that. Many seem to need their lies to keep existing comfortably, whether they're an individual or a Galactic power. It's brave to question the truth of things, but it can also be very dangerous. This is something you, I, and Hakeber share -- and everyone else on board shares to some degree or other."
"What do you mean, we share?" Lacci asks, eyes going wide (which on a Vartan is impressive). "Am I.. Was I.. uh.. infected with something dark?" She looks genuinely scared that that is what Tasha means!
Tasha's stare is very flat. The two sit this way, flat stare versus panicky eyes for several seconds before Tasha asks, "What are you on about Lacci? If you weren't on the other side of my desk I would be tempted to walk over and ruffle your feathers up." She sucks in a deep breath, waves her screens out of her way, and exhales. "What I mean is we're infected with the desire to know the truth and to assert that truth. My desire was born in looking at myself, and then, when it was revealed to me, the universe. Hakeber's own culture is not unlike yours, she learned comfortable lies, yet when she learned they were lies, she resented the lairs and left them for the truth. This ship seeks out things the Galactics would prefer we never know or touch, yet we don't know if they know or care about the threat these things represent. Obedience becomes more important than understanding."
"Oh, but.." Lacci starts to say, then looks ashamed again. "I liked the obedience for the most part. It was what gave us.. the Clans.. power, after all."
"Are you sure?" Tasha asks, brows rising. "Was it ignorant obedience that gave you strength or community and family? Faith in your mission, each other, and what you stood for?" A finger is raised, Tasha halting the 'they're the same thing' response she's sure is coming. "The first is also known as blind obedience, the kind expected in religions and many governments. Belief without knowing. Faith without knowing if that faith is justified. Ignorant obedience." And so she nods. "The latter is obedience with knowing. The difference is in knowing the truth about what you're loyal to, or not. Even the desire to know the truth, that's another facet."
"I don't think it was either of those, really," Lacci admits, her shoulders slumping a bit. "It was pride. We were obedient to our pride in our accomplishments and rewards. We deserved to be proud. We deserved what we'd earned and won through that obedience."
"I think a lot of the Galactics have that flaw," Tasha offers, trying to sound understanding. "It seems to come along side power and accomplishment, if my own experience is any gauge. Older civilizations seem to experience it more than younger ones, but I'm less sure on why that is."
"Well, I think it's due to power-by-association," Lacci says, warming up again. This must be something she's studied. "It's very much apparent in the Celestials. They still salvaged a lot of their predecessors stuff, and it made them powerful even though they didn't really get there on their own. For the two big Library civilizations, I think that is a major issue. They needed something to be proud about that was their own. And after facing their near-extinction, it seems like the Celestials really went out of their way to find that, or invent it."
"I guess it's a sort of... cultural insecurity?" the Vartan suggests.
"I see it in the Silent-Ones, too. The need to be chosen, to make up for being the weakest of the lot. If the Terrans had chosen differently they'd have been the Terrans Clients, just like that. They got lucky. I don't think they ever forgot that." And so Tasha nods. "Yes, insecurity, not unlike personal insecurity. That makes sense, because civilizations are just a big collection of persons, and inherit our weaknesses."
"So, what are the Vartan's insecurity?" Lacci asks. "Everyone here seems to have some personal insecurity. Is that normal?"
"Do you mean what I think of the Clans, or of the Vartans on this vessel?" Tasha asks, ears perking up and eyes widening. Her eyes are very large now, when she does that. It makes her look both more intent and younger at the same time. As if Lacci were being questioned by a very world-wise sixteen year old pixie.
"All Vartans," Lacci says. Although she has to blink and amend that to, "Galactic Vartans. The ones from your world seem.. very different."
"They are. Maybe the difference is important to understand both groups." Tasha glances at her displays, then closes them for the moment and settles back. "I think long ago Galactic Vartans sold their pride for easy progress and material gain. Given the relative power difference between the Khattans and the Vartans, this was very likely as they're both cunning and wealthy, and they possessed the advantage of being an 'elder' Galactic. Whatever happened, the Vartans had masters, but we-- well you, aren't a species that accepts servitude well. Service, yes, but not servitude. We-- you're warriors and headstrong, proud. The reality meant you were owned by someone else. Something had to fill that wounded pride, that giving up your freedom for shiny things and power. Even if that had been the best choice." She glances at her window, and at the Titan below. "Vartans originally served beside the Titanians and the Cill in ridding the universe of dangers, much as this ship does now. Horus gave them their freedom, but couldn't protect them from the other sentients. Vartans as a whole can be slow to action and progress, which makes ... them vulnerable to faster, more cunning species. What they are not is weak, cowardly, or afraid to work hard, so of course they turned to these qualities to find their self-esteem."
Tasha sniffs, then rubs her nose. "Ages under the Library's and surrounded by safety have left Galactic Vartans unaware of these issues and the ones you pointed out, which is true of all the Library-dependent civilizations. Yet, they also have peace and prosperity, which is not something the Vartans from Shojo's world have. I think if I had to limit it to a sentence, I'd say Galactic Vartans cling too much to pride and tradition to make up for needing something to be proud about, and have become complacent and self-absorbed in that pride. It's not wholly unearned you've done a great deal, but it makes your inflexible in both growing and in changing and somehow more innocent."
"Do you think we could have done it, whatever it was, if Horus hadn't.. quit?" Lacci asks next, and gestures over her shoulder. "Because that man out there who gave me a disturbingly fitting code name was either created before or after that decision was made. So I'm afraid of what opinion he might have on the matter."
"He wasn't the only one who 'quit', as you put it, Lacci. Marduk and the Cill abandoned the cause first. Left without the 'leadership', it was only the engineers and the warriors, and only the engineers kept going." Tasha also looks to the door, frowning. "It's clear Thoth has his own difficulties with his 'father', but I don't know when he was created. Certainly he was made before Ahriman -- that would be the Celestial Progenitor -- and Neith, of the Silent-Ones, retired from active participation. I guess that this was just before that, or else during their most active period when Ahriman and Horus were at odds."
"Ahriman is the Naga god?" Lacci asks. "The.. uh.. nemesis to Horus? I don't remember much mention about that. Is it something safe to ask Thoth about?"
"Now that's an interesting question. I doubt he'll slap you in to a statue, but he may well give you the stare." And so Tasha fixes Lacci with her gaze, but looking as she does, there just isn't the effect. "I feel it'll be a sore spot," she admits a second later, spreading her hands, " ... and something he is still dealing with. Ahriman and Horus contributed Vril to make Thoth. I know little of Ahriman save what I saw in his dreams, or memories, and what I was told of him. The best description I have is that he was, "Like a god, only doing as much as was necessary." Horus is more passionate, more like us. He is the only one among his kind to reject the common consensus. This, I heard from Atum itself."
"So, Thoth could be either invested or impartial?" Lacci asks. "How is he not crazy? I mean.. it seems like he was trying to be active at one time, but now just.. what? I don't know what he does now! What does 'Dr. Amuntaten' do?"
"We should ask him these questions. He is very clearly up to something, but I'm not sure what it is or if it is to our benefit or not. Ours, or the universe's." Tasha wrinkles her nose, but it's true. Until she knows either way, she's duty bound to keep an eye on things. "I do know he wishes to reach the Cill in the Void, which is a goal we share. As for why he's not crazy, I suspect Vril is more suited to immortality than most organic minds. It's not enough o be physically immortal if your mind is not resilient enough -- mentally immortal."
"I do know that his original duty was to act as a bridge between mortals and gods -- between Vril and mortal life," Tasha adds, remembering the tidbit and finding it relevant.
"What does that mean though?" Lacci asks. "A bridge is something you use, not.. a duty."
"I think it means he was supposed to bring us together somehow. From what he told me about the creation of the Magi, they were supposed to evoke a 'higher state of being' and produce Vril, which is somehow akin to what Samael and the Shadow beings are made of. A kind of incarnated conceptual existence, like living memetic energy. It's discovering what Vril, the Shadow, and the connection between them is that I hope to find by studying both. If I can learn to wield them, maybe I can find that answer," Tasha explains.
"Without exploding or imploding or both at the same time?" Lacci asks, eyes wide again.
Tasha grins. "That's always the goal, isn't it?" She thumbs out towards the Bay below. "I think I see some of the design intended to invoke Vril from the pilot, but beyond that I'm not sure how it works. It does explain why the Titan can house a Vril-ya without their exoskeletons, because it had always meant to channel Vril. That means the systems already exist to do so, but that the generation system has failed. Neither of us know why."
"Well, I'd say it's because it couldn't be done at all, but.. why would Thoth try if he knew it couldn't work?" Lacci asks. She doesn't know about Eve's experiments, after all.
"Eve tried as well, to results she regretted. There's some reason why Vril and the mortal soul are generally unable to work together. Not all the experiments failed, just ... most." And Tasha dearly hopes Thoth's friend isn't listening somehow. "Humans were created as the second of her attempts. This fear of modification may be why she largely left them alone, in innocence." There's another reason, but Tasha decides the conversation is weighty enough without genocide.
"So, that's why Thoth tried his 'magic' tests on Terra?" Lacci asks. "But none of the Magi Titans were for Humans."
"That's interesting, isn't it? Maybe it was just a side experiment? They were also intended to return the Markers to Atum, which they did, so maybe the experience was intended to uplift us somehow." And so Tasha's ears splay. "It may be I'm not well suited to producing Vril as a pilot, either. I found my Titan stored away and abandoned and was not the original pilot. While I'm the only pilot to reach Atum, I did so mostly through trial and error. And now, I even posses a touch of the Shadow itself."
"But did Thoth choose the original pilots? Or was it just all to get them where they needed to be?" Lacci asks. "And more tellingly, why didn't he go along?"
"These are all questions we should ask our new teacher and mentor." Tasha points at Lacci, dead center of chest. "Katie was right, I should sek your opinion on things more often. I may be used to these entities being inexplicable and evasive. Part of my ability to get along with them means accepting their vagueness, but it can prevent me from thinking to ask certain questions."
"Oh, now I get it!" Lacci says, brightening up. "The Fool! A fool asks the innocently obvious questions that.. well, nobody really wants to answer?"
"You have a fresh view and you aren't already shaped by the things that the rest of us are. We've merged in to various roles, which have strengths and insights, but also weaknesses. We can't see like an outsider can see, because we're inside, right? Well, that's where you come in." Tasha waggles her hanging finger, then lets it drop. "I'm appointing you to our future council, you'll learn more about that side of things as it solidifies."
"Council? But have I actually done anything.. wise?" Lacci asks. "Or responsible. I could argue that joining your crew was not a wise or responsible decision!"
"If that were true no one is wise or responsible on this crew. But don't worry!" Tasha holds up a finger, ears and tail also shooting up; she smiles. "You don't have to be wise, and you only have to be as responsible as usually, plus your new duties to the Cabal and the Council. As for your contribution simply be as you are. Say what comes to mind, just like now. It may be that we, too, become like the Galactics and forget to question things."
Lacci has to nod to this, but then looks guilty. "Can I ask another Fool question?" she asks.
"I'll answer like the wise Hermit I am," Tasha agrees, settling back, crossing her legs in her lap, and steeping her fingers while attempting to look serene.
"So.. we're all slowly going crazy out here except for the Eeee and the Lapi," Lacci says. "Once they're gone, who will be the dependably sane ones?"
Tasha cocks her head to the side. "I suppose nobody will, at that. I had thought I'd be more resistant to it all, but I'm clearly not. Thoth and Samael, though stable, aren't good sources of sanity given their nature." She then wrinkles her muzzle. "We may need a replacement, but sanity isn't something that's easily checked for. Sane and loyal."
"Oh, good.. because between you and me I think Aaron is a little weird," Lacci leans forward to whisper. "He'll seem normal, and then suddenly start talking about strange conspiracy theories. Or at least, ones that we don't know to be true now. So it's more Liza I'm worried about losing.."
Tasha groans, sliding down her chair and letting her arms fall to the armrests. "I'll need a new assistant. Not only will no one be sane, my hair won't even be untangled. We're going to have to find more personnel." She fixes her gaze on Lacci and admits, "I thought maybe you and Shojo would leave, too."
"What? I.. never considered leaving," Lacci blinks. "Shojo is so.. solid. And Moka is very nice and trustworthy, but she's also a scary intimidating alien. Hakeber is probably the only one that doesn't intimidate me though."
Tasha smiles at that. "I like her a lot, too. You and her have some things in common, but I'll leave it to you two to share your stories. It'll help a lot that she's part of the Cabal, she seems to lift everyone's spirits." But then she considers her remark, explaining, "I thought this may have been too much for you, and Shojo, well, he's free from his disease. We haven't spoken very much lately -- neither you and I nor he and I -- and feared my leadership wasn't good enough. I could accept that, given everything that happened, but I still found it sad."
"Well.. you seemed so overly burdened," Lacci says, fidgeting with her talons again. "You went off to fight, and.. the next we saw you you were Human.. and then you were this. And at the worldship you seemed like you were about to completely break down. I'm not entirely sure what my relationship is with Shojo right now. He's.. unreadable."
"As much as I hate to admit it, since we're being honest about ourselves and talking about painful realizations, I was about to break down. I think I did, if briefly." Tasha reaches up to rub her face, head canting back, tail flicking agitatedly. "I've received some wise advice about how to avoid that happening again, which I've taken. And you weren't wrong, I was overly burdened. Dying and being reborn multiple times didn't help that anyway." She xhakes, lets her hands fall, then leans forward and rests her head on her hands, on her desk. "But that's me. I'm working to make sure that doesn't happen again -- or at least happens better. As for Shojo ... he really is unreadbale, isn't he? I think Thoth is easier to read."
"Well, it's hard to know what Shojo is thinking, but it's easier to tell what he's doing," Lacci says. Then looks into Tasha's eyes and asks, "He came with you. Was it his choice, or was he assigned to watch over you or something? His condition.. was it terminal back on his world? Had he traveled with you before this?"
"We traveled for a time back when I was a cadet in the JEF -- that's Joint Expeditionary Force. It's a organization I re-founded based on the previous version, which had existed during the time of the Expedition. Shojo is like Hakeber in that he's a Templar, one of the people who gave up their previous identity to join a paramilitary peacekeeping group. So like Hake, he already had a reason to leave his home, which was his disease and a need to make a difference. A Human friend of mine recommended he work with us, and he did, and eventually I decided I wanted him around permanently. But as we spread out in to the stars and as more and more people joined -- as I moved away from the JEF -- his role became more nebulous and it was harder and harder for me to work with people individually as I had as a lower-ranking person." Tasha then spreads her ears, tail making a little circle in the air. "This has been true with everyone, but it may be wore for Shojo because I had provided guidance and direction, well, directly before. He may doubt his role and usefulness, why he's here."
"I think he would have fought the Titanians if you had asked him," Lacci says. "He is a counterweight to Samael too. And I think he likes me, beyond just the.. uh.. physical reasons." Vartans can't really blush, but Lacci would be doing it if she could. "I never thought to ask him why he's here. I just assumed it was because it was his duty."
"He is very dutiful, and I agree he likes you," Tasha says with a grin. "I'm not sure if he knows how to express it in either way, however -- nor do you. I'd have been a lot more careful with you two back on Charon, but you already know the reasons I wasn't." She lifts her head to spread her hands briefly; can't be helped. "He may also be angry at me because I tease you so much, or, well more than tease. I don't seem to be very good with certain kinds of people, but we're fixing that now, right? In a way he reminds me a bit of Katie, someone who had been subjected to roles and duties for a long time and is uncomfortable with the measure of freedom and choice aboard our ship."
"I suppose he never thought he could have that freedom on his own terms before," Lacci says, nodding. "Afraid it would mean losing who he was."
"Losing who we are seems to be a reoccurring theme for our journey together," Tasha admits. She unwraps a finger to point up at her I-lost-my-body-twice new head. "But I like to think who we become is an improvement. Already you've shown growth as has Hake."
"I don't know about her past," Lacci notes. "So.. I don't know what to look for? She doesn't really seem like a happy person."
"No?" Tasha rotates her ears forward/ She'd always considered Hakeber happy, but somehow sad at the same time, but then nearly everyone she knows /including/ herself fit that bill; perhaps this is another way Lacci can see what she can't? Lacci, who grew up in warm, pleasant world full of support and nurturing, who barely knew strife until she came along.
"Well.. no. Obviously no," Lacci says, sounding a bit surprised. "When I first came aboard, she was wallowing in alcohol and empty sex. Not the pursuits of a happy person, but of a haunted one. Maybe addicted, but willingly so to escape or distract from something she'd rather not face."
"I really am not very good with people," Tasha admits, realizing something about herself this time. "Or maybe I appreciate a certain darkness in others? I've noticed I have a difficult time getting along with anyone who lacks that darkness. And Hake is like how I used to be, so maybe it never occurred to me?" She sniffs, brows furrowing. "Do I not ... Do I not understand what happy people are like?"
"Well.. do you know any?" Lacci has to ask. "Were you happy when you were like Hakeber?"
"No, that's why I changed. Then I started looking to the stars because I was afraid to sink back in to obscurity, and I never really stopped. Not until now, when I have to change or risk losing my legacy and everyone," Tasha admits, ears sinking. "Maybe it's why I walk so often with demons, why the lost places and lost people call to me. Why Charon was so dazzling."
"I thought it was because he was a child?" Lacci asks.
"A warm, happy child the size of a moon, with everything being new and universes worth of excitement to explore." Tasha pushes off and flops back in her chain, exhaling. "He was like staring at the sun. Everything he is called to me. I wanted to follow him around forever."
"I suppose being a pet to someone like that would be nice," Lacci agrees. "Pets are usually pretty happy."
"I think it'd all caught up with me, I felt guilty, I felt like a danger to everyone, and I just needed something to need me. And Charon is a lot of something," Tasha admits. She sniffs, reaching to rub at the corner of her eye as she looks and looks towards the window. "But he knew it too, and kept me as I am. It's important to remember he's more than that little dragon. Even a child Waymaker is an immense being. I'm not sure how much of him I ever really knew."
"The Eeee, Karaktinio, said we all present masks to the world," Lacci claims. "How we want to be seen, or how we have to act. Usually different ones depending on the occasion. We don't even realize it. So the little dragon was probably a mask too."
"Probably. I shouldn't make Charon out to be something he isn't. he may have been using me or just scared and desperate and wanted someone to save him, and I was a small being who maybe could. Even Persephone may be providing me a tiny amount of the power of her mind," Tasha says, nodding slowly. She sits up, fishes a reusable towel from her desk, and dabs her eyes. "And Hake wears her mask. Now that you've said it, I wonder why people follow me when I can't seem to see how unhappy they are. I can only seem to provide a place for the wounded and the darkened to be."
"Well, then they see what you show them too," Lacci claims. "You were very confident and mysterious to me. And I was open to that at the time."
"And if Hakeber is like me.. studying ancient things that nobody seems to care about.. then having someone who did care would be very important," the Vartan adds.
"So I'm a charlatan." Tasha snorts. She then blinks and snorts a laugh again, sitting up and rubbing her nose. "I'm being very hard on myself, aren't I? I'm not sure it'd have occurred to me to laugh at that before. But look what we've and and who is with us. We have the regard of many amazing people, several deities, two members of a Class IV civilization and a few demon gods. Who can say that?" She dabs more with her towel, then puts it away. "And I do care. I cared so much I went off to die, fought a demi-god to save a child I just met. If it came down to it, I'd do whatever it takes to save the people here. Fight a god, or burn a world."
"Because we want to be needed?" Lacci asks.
"And I need the unwanted, or at least the lost and the wounded. People with nowhere to go," Tasha agrees. "And unlike much of civilization I don't make anyone fit my needs, you don't have to take up my culture or be a perfect cadet. I bring people for themselves."
"So this is more of a cult then?" Lacci asks, possibly teasing. "They look for the same sort of people."
"A respectable cult. We even have a few gods and a demon, unlike those other cults that promise truth and divinity and never deliver, here you can just go ask Thoth. He's right there." Tasha spreads her hands. "I think that says a lot about our high quality and standards. Sam's even put aside his usual demoning to be part of the group."
"Besides, what sort of cult leader runs off and gets herself killed while everyone stays behind, nice and safe? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" Tasha's hands fall and ears go up. "And it's not like everyone follows me with slavish devotion. I'm not even sure half the people on board take me seriously."
"Well, you do sleep with a few of the members," Lacci teases. "But then, you also get pushed around by fluffy herbivores. And probably the cats. And small dragon-things. Is that typical for you though, to get sort of led around by things smaller than you?"
Tasha lays her hand over her heart. "It's a gesture of my magnanimity." She maintains a very straight fave, but then throw her hands up in a limited shrug. "Or I just get lead around by small things -- but it's not fair to say so about Charon! He's actually very large."
"And Gabriel follows you, but he is much larger," Lacci notes, now less teasing, as if she's actually discovered something. "I should make a chart to test this theory of large following small. It cannot just be due to smaller beings seeming to be cuter can it?"
"Well I am extremely cute," Tasha insists, holding her hands to frame her face. "And I half suspect I am somehow both predator and prey simultaneously."
"You weren't this cute before though," Lacci points out.
"I have reached a higher state of existence. Some day you, too, may reach this high state of cuteness." The red woman frames her face a moment longer, then settles back in her chair. "And Persephone did tell me I 'made myself,' so clearly I am fundamentally very cute as an existence."
"Did she actually explain what she meant by that?" Lacci asks. "Isn't it a rule that gods can't give straight answers?"
"They will if you're difficult or annoying enough. Sometimes." Tasha shakes her head. "And no, she did not. I half expect this is some kind of punishment for teasing her, but I like it well enough. And I'm still growing. Some day I may even fit in my pants again."
"Cake can get you there," Lacci claims. "So, this secret group within your other group.. is it a secret from the rest of the group, or just from those outside of the group?"
"It's a secret from some inside the group. Right now the Phins, Jonas, any guests not otherwise initiated, and anyone else whose main role is simply operating the ship or performing some technical role may also be unaware of it. This is for their safety as well as ours. There's little need to burden then with cosmic knowledge unless they either seek it or must know," Tasha answers.
"And what if they ask me what I'm off doing with you and the others?" Lacci asks, a little nervously. "I've never had to keep a secret.. in such close quarters," she admits.
"Tell them to talk to Gabriel, Katie or myself, or Yue, because you don't feel comfortable talking about it?" Tasha wiggles her fingers. "I don't like lying either, if you're wondering about that, but I've found misdirection is a lot safer than many of the alternatives."
"What if it's Aaron?" Lacci asks next. "He's always on about conspiracies. And will Liza know?"
"They suspect, I'm sure, but they won't be on board much longer and I suspect they'll not be wanting to bring more concerns along with them than they need to. They both have their own little concerns to worry about." And so Tasha smiles. "So don't worry about them."
"Well, I think we'll need written books then," Lacci claims. "Easy to secure, can't be copied, and strange symbols won't cause them to behave oddly."
Tasha leans forward, hands on her desk, nodding. "I agree completely. Hakeber is well acquainted with written materials and will make an excellent choice for documentarian. I already have plans to secure the core as our little workspace, and the rear elevator already exists out on to that space. Since space is limited in there, I have an idea for a concentric ring design using the rough sphere of the chamber as the outter walls. All that wall space should leave room for books, terminals, and other materials. We can even split the chamber in to two parts, with the 'high' chamber dedicated to alchemy, and the 'low' chamber to sorcery. There'll be a lot of suspended platforms and, of course, the Bridle and Tatha-hem."
"And.. Tatha-hem won't react to any of it?" Lacci asks, her feathers poofing a bit. "There's no weird radiation or anything dangerous to worry about in there?"
"Tatha-hem doesn't react to many things. Her perception of our reality is very ... thin, and I think that is true for her even if the Bridle were removed from her. I suspect she was never intended to interact with mortals, but I think having something interesting nearby will do her some good." Tasha nods, pushing off. "She's very sad, did you know that? It's expected given what happened to her, but it also says much about their nature that they can feel sad. They can lament. She chose me because she felt I would help her endure her existence, and this can be another way to do that."
"She was created as a slave, then?" Lacci asks. "That seems to be the pattern with these entities. They aren't captured and made to serve; it is literally their existence. It makes me think of being born as furniture."
"Then you understand why I hesitate to simply destroy them whenever I come across them. They had no hand in their fate and suffer for it. Some are high resentful, aggressive, or cruel, while others are sad and quiet. A few have no mind to speak of, being more forces than entities. It makes this war less about fighting monsters and more about carefully and respectfully dealing with the fallout of the Ogdoad's actions," Tasha confirms.
"It's difficult to grasp," Lacci notes. "It is not a real war though. Both sides are secret, for one thing."
"Do wars have to be known by all the universes?" Tasha asks, genuinely curious as to why Lacci thinks a war must be known, "Is that a Galactic concept? Wars must be approved of by some other party? I suppose to the Ogdoad it's more like a harvest that went awry, as if their feed animals rose up and caught them in a cage. For us it's fending off a hunter."
"Well, yes, wars are ritual, political endeavors which adhere to agreed-upon rules," Lacci explains. "Except for Terran wars. But wars between Galactics have rules. Clandestine battles are by definition illegal."
"Can it be illegal if I'm not a Galactic?" Tasha asks, ears up, leaning forward again.
"Well, technically you aren't fighting other Galactic organizations," Lacci notes. "At least not yet."
"That could well happen. House Khomen attempted to seize control of not only the Star Empire, but also my home and the other worlds there. I think this by definition is a covert act of conquest, but it's likely it will be our turn to seize control of, and do damage to, the House's property, soon. What do you think of what? What would the Galactic think?" Tasha remains as she is, ears up and listening.
"I'm not sure what they think about Praxafallopus yet," Lacci admits, "and that was an abandoned world. I think we might want to ask a reliable Khattan about the repercussions of.. well, whatever has to be done to House Khomen."
"Then we'll ask the Seeder head on Caltrop." Tasha nods; another thing decided. "And would you like some tea? Something to eat? I don't think we talked like this since the first time we met on Caltrop."
"Tea?" Lacci asks. "Vartan tea, or Terran tea? The other Galactics doo not appreciate properly prepared tea. I did not think you would have the proper sorts of urns onboard."
"Lets find out." Tasha taps her desk. "Liza, would you please fetch Lacci and I some tea, and something to eat? We're in my study. Thank you." Tasha then looks up and smiles. "And that's not my being a follower, it's good to be nice to those who serve you."
The reply over the intercom is, "We only have golden tea left. Is that alright?"
"That's fine, thank you Liza." Tasha shrugs to Lacci. "Rations are a problem no matter how advanced your ship is, it seems. I'm really going to have to think on who to replace Liza with. I hope her time with me hasn't been not to her liking."
"Well, on a Vartan ship the senior person trains the junior one before retiring," Lacci notes. "Or you could leave it to the scary Karnor on Caltrop."
"The scary Karnor is extremely competent and I don't trust Liza's or my competence in comparison to his. Not even our's together. Lets let him deal with it." Tasha nods again; that's decided, too. "Well, where were we? Oh, the 'Tarot'. We looked at your card, if that's what this is about, so why not mine?" She brings the displays back in to view and loads the Hermit card.
Now that they know what to look for, it's much easier. In most decks, The Hermit is an old human man with a long staff and carrying a lantern which contains a six-pointed star. It supposedly represents introspection and drawing attention inwards when seeking answers. It can signify that the person is in need of a period of inner reflection away from the current demands of their position.
Lacci asks, "Can you expand the image some more?"
"Well that does sound like me, minus the old man part. Even when I was a man I wasn't an old man." Tasha gestures and the image expands. She also continues the article.
"The lantern," Lacci points out.
"Shining a light in to the darkness?" Tasha zooms in on the lantern. "Six points, and he's surrounded by shadows. The fool seemed to radiate his own light in some images, so it seems like the light comes from without, and lights the way. Knowledge and introspection keeping him from losing his way."
"To me.. a star in a lantern, held by the Hermit.." Lacci says. "It sort of suggests Tatha-hem a bit."
"You think she shines the way so I don't get lost?" Tasha glances towards the exit, expression pensive. "A darkness shining the way through the light?"
"Oh.. I don't know about that," Lacci admits, her ears blushing a bit. "It was just.. you know.. a star in a glass box. I was being a bit literal."
"She does look a little like a star. She has six wings, if I remember right. A humanoid being with six wings." Tasha rubs her nose, leaning back. "But she does seem to be following an unusual route. Often, she'll guide the ship towards a destination."
There's a chime at the door. It should be Liza.
"Enter," goes Tasha, who releases the door lock.
The Lapi enters carrying a try with two glass mugs on it and a cylindrical metal thermos-kettle. She sets it down on the table, then pours hot water into the mugs. "How strong would you like your tea?" she asks the women.
"Business-strength, Liza." Business-strength being a joke between the two women, from back when Liza asked that originally and gave Tasha a array of situations to chose from, as Tasha had always simply accepted her tea as it was made.
So Liza produces two little golden pills, dropping one into each of the mugs. They begin to bubble and froth as the water begins to become more golden brown.
"Is this ... good tea?" Tasha inquires, leaning in to watch the frothy business.
"It is.. tea," Liza assures. "It is also good for indigestion and bladder infections, according to Dr. Knight."
"How mysterious," Tasha notes, settling back and turning to Lacci. "Was there anything else you thought interesting about my card? I think it fits me well enough, although I'm not sure the prior versions of me would have thought so."
Liza looks at the display but doesn't comment. "I've brought you some biscuits as well. That is traditionally the snack to go with tea." The packet of wafers looks suspiciously like Belter rations though. "I didn't think you would want to wait for me to bake you some cookies. I can have something ready in about an hour though."
"Rawk," Lacci goes as she sees the packet. "It is one of those evil Terran trick packages that only humans can get open," she notes.
"I was thinking Lacci and I may move to the Hangar and see about the next phase of things, so having some cookies while we work would be nice. Crackers it is, for now." Tasha holds her left hand out for the snacks, her suspiciously Human-like hands.
Liza hands them over. "Let me know if you want more tea for that, or if you'd rather have coffee when the time comes."
"We will. Thank you again, Liza." Tasha smiles at her assistant and nods before turning to Lacci again. "Why don't we review Sam and Hake's? Hake has, of course, already figured her's out, as well as the rest of our's, and probably did shortly after we split up, but at least we can show effort."
"Well, what is The Magician then?" Lacci asks once Liza leaves, and sips her tea through a straw. "This tastes like medicine," she notes.
Tasha has a taste as well, and grimacs. "It probably is medicine. We should have traded with the Titanians for, well, anything with real flavor. They have space fish." She shakes her head; lost chances. "Well lets endure the tea." She sets in to opening the package, twisting and turning it to figure out the approach. "Screen, display The Magician card, please."
The Magician depicts a man who is standing at an altar covered in symbolic tools, such as a wand, sword, cup and a pentacle. According to the text, these represent the suits of the Tarot aside from the Major Arcana. The card is supposed to represent the talents, capabilities and resources at the person's disposal that could help them tap into their full potential - rather than holding back - when there is a need to transform something. It symbolizes qualities like determination, resourcefulness, dexterity (since sometimes it's called The Juggler) and skill.
Another note says it can represent one's ultimate level of control over their own life.
"Katie does often struggle with control despite her prodigious talent. Have you ever noticed that despite how competent she is, and her air of both authority and presence, she mainly does her job and stays to herself? She'd spent much of her life being groomed for roles, trained and overseen. I'm not sure she know how to handle independence yet. That she could have nearly any role of duty, even if it meant not remaining with us," Tasha explains after reading the entry. She turns to Lacci and admits, "Many of our top level individuals are like this, very talented, powerful people, but lost."
"I thought she was an engineer," Lacci says. "Until the Seeder ball. What exactly is she then, normally? She's got something do with the scary Karnor and his human companion, doesn't she?"
"She was an entertainer, a starlet who put on shows and sung for her nation's cause. She was considered so successful she even had fans in other nations, nations that didn't often get on well." Tasha punches through menus, then goes through many more, clearly searching for something not readily available. At last she reaches her target and brings up a shot of a strange red world, of stands that must look so archaic as to be undetectable as such to Lacci, and a collection of species. Off in the distance is Katherine, in an unusual and exciting outfit, flanked by people with instruments all walking in lines. "The lost and unreachable world of Abaddon and the descendants of the first Expedition to Primus. And there's Katie. I took the picture."
"So.. she was used for propaganda?" Lacci asks. "Is that a marching band?"
"Yes, and yes," Tasha, who resumes battling the package, discovers the little indentation on the side and so uses the gifts god (or herself) gave her, and bites one end while pulling on the tear. This results in her fumbling to catch crackers, which she then neatly stacks and very primly places between her and Lacci. "Propaganda and spying."
"Wait.. she's a spy?" Lacci asks, then looks thoughtful. "I suppose.. well, did she travel around to the other nations she was popular in? If that were the case, I can see her being at formal events for high officials.."
"Yes, that's it. They used her popularity and charm to win affection and insert people across the nations. She also served as a propaganda tool and method to rally soldiers." Tasha picks up a cracker and tosses it back, chasing it with tea. "She was considered almost untouchable. Even back then, when I had begun to reach things beyond, I would come back to her world and watch her seem unreachable. It's how I grounded myself in society and could feel, for a time, to be small and lost in a crowd."
"She doesn't seem that way now though," Lacci notes. "Especially since we got out here. She feels more like a Sky Scout's leader.."
"Sky Scouts?" Tasha perks her ears. the crackers are bland and tea is awful, but perhaps more so than for anyone else, the best spice for a Karnor is hunger. "And do you know why she feels that way?"
"Oh, just a paramilitary youth organization among Clan Vartans," Lacci says. "I think on Varta they just go learn wilderness things. Why does she feel that way?"
"Perhaps because for the most part we are not real soldiers with real structure and, how did Katie say it? Discipline, we lack discipline. And I think she means for us to have it," Tasha answers, head tilted. "But I don't know what to do for her beyond that. Katie's always been intimidating, even to me, and it's hard to approach her on topics she may not like or be comfortable with sharing, or doesn't know herself."
"She doesn't seem.." Lacci starts to say, and then stops. "Ah, I'm forgetting my own specialty. She's a Terragens agent, of course she's dangerous. I'm sure she was trained the same as they are today."
"I'm not sure she's a TerraGens agent, but she is some sort of agent," Tasha point out. She perks her ears and tilts her head the other way. "I have wondered why she and Yue don't associate more. Katie has her concerns about Humans, but Yue is hardly delicate. But maybe you know more about the Agents than I do. All I know is that they're a kind of citizen-soldier, often specially trained and augmented, or possessed of unique abilities."
"They are always civilians," Lacci claims. "Academics, engineers.. probably caterers too. Never diplomats or soldiers. And so many Vartans and Celestials just.. can't think of them as serious threats. Because that isn't how things are done. They suspect Confederates, because their technology is weird. They suspect Khattans because Khattans make shiftiness a virtue. But a Silent_One or a Human? The tall cats are too morally uptight to cheat, and the Terragens are too naive."
"And how do you think this applies to Katherine?" Tasha asks, once again curious as to Lacci's insight.
"She's not like what Karnors are today," Lacci says. "Nobody would suspect a Karnor or being anything but friendly and loyal. But Katherine is from a war-torn, hostile planet. I know what Karnors were originally meant to be. She's not big like Gabriel, but she's built to survive and take advantage of any weakness she sees in an opponent, and I bet she sees a lot." The bird then seems to deflate a bit. "I really am the most naive and least capable person in the crew, aren't I?"
Tasha sits up and reaches over to pat Lacci's hand. "It's alright, Lacci. If it makes you feel any better, when I started this journey, that was my role." She sits back in her chair and spreads her hands. "Well maybe not so much naive, but I had other problems. Like," she counts off on her left hand, " ... anger, a lack of education, problems with focus, deep interpersonal issues, self-hatred ... " She blinks as she reaches five and recalls she has five digits now, "Well there were a lot of them. In many ways I was even more useless, but I had drive and ambition, and that's what those around me needed."
"So, when did you stop having those issues?" Lacci asks. "Did something happen, or was it just.. growing up?"
"It happened after a lot of self-reflection, struggle, and surviving what I sought to overcome. There were also a lot of intelligent and experienced people surrounding me who helped me work out my problems and who supported me despite my problems. I don't think I started to gain real confidence and stop asking if I was good enough until ... " Tasha purses her muzzle, finger to her lips. "Fairly recently, I think. I still do it now and then. Maybe death has helped me relax somewhat? But I still have doubts, I'm not sure those go away. or should."
"So, maybe being The Hermit means you'll be learning a better way to look inward?" Lacci suggests.
"I think so. I've reached a point where I am ready to change," Tasha confirms, nodding her head. And then she points at Lacci, "Just as you are ready to take the stoop and see what awaits you. Katherine is determining how best to use her talents and change her life."
"Are you really ready to change, or just to finish changing?" Lacci asks. "Aren't you still.. mixed up?"
"Well that's what I mean, to finish changing is still to change. An interim being is still a being, complete in its way as all changing things can be." And so Tasha thinks she sounds very wise in that moment. She nods, solemnly. "And so to change or finish changing. But yes, I'm still 'mixed up'. I am not complete, in body, soul, and many other ways."
"How are you supposed to know when you are complete though?" Lacci asks. "How does anyone know? What does complete even mean for a person?"
Tasha spreads her hands. "I think it's more in a sense of complete like a spacecraft is complete, to some specification or goal, and then it moves forward to do what it is meant to do. That sort of complete."
"Oh.. that.. makes sense?" Lacci suggests, looking thoughtful. "So you'll know when you're done.. and then you can move on to regular growth."
"Like getting better after an injury," Tasha confirms, nodding slowly. "You know when you're healed enough to move forward. I don't think," and here she tilts her head, pursing her muzzle, " ... that I'll be doing things quite the way I used to, however. It's very clear to me I'm both too fragile and too important to be throwing myself at every problem in some terminal guilt. I'm going to have to step back from the immediate front line, when possible."
"So, will Shojo be your bodyguard then?"
"So, will Shojo be your bodyguard then?" the Vartan asks.
"I'm not sure yet. Does he want to be? Katie might volunteer, too." Tasha taps her muzzle, head tilted. "But I may well need a bodyguard. My abilities and role suit a back line presence. Not that I intend to hide away on the ship."
"I suppose it will depend on the situation," Lacci notes. "Sometimes you want an obvious show of strength, like Shojo. I'm not sure people will think of Katherine as a show of force, so she would be best in situations where you needed less obvious protection, or need someone who is better at reading people."
"Spoken like a true warrior." Tasha nods and smiles. "It will come down to circumstance and detail, like it often does. Well," she looks around a moment, "we've done our homework. Would you like to try your hand at the very exotic idea of techno-magical engineering? The Titanians suggested I build something with my own two hands, and perhaps you'd be served by doing the same."
"Do we have magical.. stuff.. to work with?" Lacci asks.
"Magic isn't just about materials laced with other-universal energies and laws, it's also about will and self. Or, well, sorcery seems to be." Tasha taps her muzzle again. "I'm not sure what alchemy is about. If it's anything like the begins the two disciplines stem from, sorcery is about hunger, force, and overcoming, while alchemy is about stasis, restraint, and becoming."
"Well.. which one uses magical items then?" Lacci asks. "Or do they both need them? I figured alchemy would need chemistry equipment."
"I think sorcery does. Alchemy seems to use techno-magical items leaning towards the techno part. Order, deliberate action, refinement and higher states. That sort of thing. Sorcery seems to be more about lower states, mentally that is, such as hunger, force, and overcoming of the basic foundations of reality itself. Primal, I suppose?" The red woman tilts her head side to side. "Knowing more about the difference between the Shadow and Vril would help to understand their works. Do Vril-ya also afce the unrelenting truth of unfiltered reality? Do they hunger for our souls to ease their pain? I don't think they do, which means despite the similarity of their energies, there is something fundamentally different between them. There also seems to be a resource limit difference."
"So.. are those the only two options, Shadow and Vril?" Lacci asks. "Nothing in-between gods and monsters?"
"Oh there's surely lots of things in between, to the side, not associated with either at all because the foundational rules that forms them can't be related to Vril and Shadow in any way, and more. The multiverse is vast. Perhaps, infinite." And so Tasha spreads her arms. "But it's Vril and the Shadow we know and the other we do not. The only other similar form I know of are the Colors, that's proper Colors, not base photonic interpreted energy colors. Yellow, the Color that so fascinates Mr. Yellow. Blue, the color that Persephone radiates, and Pink, the color closest to my nature."
"I don't know if we can summon the power of Pink," Lacci says. "Not without really changing our fashion sense. We should probably ask our advisors about this though."
"They're not so much real colors as memetic essences, Lacci." But then Tasha begins to rise. "But our homework is done, and I'm sure Hake beat us to it hours ago. We should gather everyone and do exactly what you say."
"Teacher's pet," Lacci accuses as she gets up.
Tasha realizes she only knows that saying because it's also a Terranisim, and thus the memory must be Nora's. "But which teacher?" She pauses a moment to notify the others and then heads for the Lounge.
"I don't know about being The High Priestess," Hakeber claims once they've all convened (or 'covenened' according to Katie). "She looks very prim and dignified. And I'm hardly.. uh.. passive. But mystery is my passion, I suppose. And I think I have good instincts, even if I don't often really reflect on situations.. well, okay, I do now that I'm not drinking because I can't help it.. which is sort of why I drank a lot before.."
"Are you alright with who you are now, then?" Tasha arches a brow, turning to Hakeber, knowing. "Do you still need to escape, and why are you escaping so much, Hake?"
"I think these associations are less about who we are than who we're supposed to become," Hakeber replies. "The goal we're supposed be striving for as part of the process."
"So you're striving to drink more or less?" Tasha's ears wiggle.
"Or who we want to become," Katie says. "You are scary, Thoth, if you just came up with these off the top of your head. It's not like you've spent any real time getting to know us."
"I haven't done any real drinking for.. awhile now," Hakeber points out. "I don't think I have the urge anymore. I thought I was just prone to addictive behavior."
"We shouldn't limit his perceptions to our perceptions, or even our experience and ability. Thoth is older than modern civilization, and his senses are unlike ours," Tasha notes. She thumbs towards Samael in turn. "He looks like me, but Sam, too, senses the world differently."
"As the Hierophant, it is my role as teacher to understand my students," Thoth notes.
"I don't see why I have to be The Devil," Samael complains. "I am not all about fear, domination or material temptations."
"I was going to ask if he had his own card. I should have known," Tasha admits, leaning back and shaking her head. She really should have.
Turning to Samael, Tasha notes, "I think it's less about you being The Devil as you subject to the situation of the Devil. Thotep is the being who originated the archetype, I believe. His 'brand' he called it."
"And now he's branded us," Sam points out.
"Are we too much of a cliche?" Tasha inquires, head tilting. "But that would represent The Devil, which you both represent and are subject to. It's double-sided."
"Samael is admittedly harder to read than the rest of you," Thoth claims. "But if the cloven-hooves fit.. no offense to you, Tasha."
Tasha shrugs with her hands. "It applies to me a little as well. I bear the spore and I have lured people with material desires before. Not so much now, but Gabriel and Katie weren't exactly shocked when I ended up part demon myself. "You've always been a little bit of a demon." If we're being honest with ourselves I should be, too."
"Well, now that you've figured out your names, we can begin," Thoth says. "We will start with the major esoteric schools."
Tasha glances at the others, trying to read them before things start in earnest, and then leans back with her hands in her lap.
"We have discussed Alchemy," Thoth says. "As that is my primary field of expertise. Closely related, however, is Wizardry, which is the science of exploiting the underlying rules of reality to one's benefit. The Sifras and Waybuilders can be considered part of this tradition, as well as Thotep's own Wizards. There is also Sorcery, or Magery, which involves calling upon the power of entities that transcend the common rules of reality."
"The final tradition is Transcendence, which is related to all of the other three, but which is hardly a useful path to pursue in the time-frame we have available," Thoth explains.
"And why is that?" Tasha asks, giving voice to the inevitable question.
"It tends to be fatal," Thoth says, "In all known attempts. It has other rewards, but requires considerable mental reprogramming and physical stress."
"That does seem problematical," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. "As someone who has transcended in a more physical manner, I can't exactly recommend it."
"It usually involves advanced meditation techniques, mind-altering substances, and repeated death and resuscitation," Thoth notes, and nods to Tasha.
"Sorcery itself is divided into Theurgical, Elemental, Spiritual and Demonic traditions," Thoth next explains. "Samael will cover the Demonic part, and I can do the others."
"Please do," Tasha bids, nodding and leaning closer, folded hands now folded on the table.
"There more types of demons than just shadow servitors," Samael notes.
"We cannot cover elementals and nature spirits in space," Thoth explains. "We need a living world, such as Ymir, to conduct such attempts."
"And of those, there are many types and divisions, for example Chaos and Order, and hierarchies of power and position, such as the difference between Samael and He-Wh-Moves," Tasha adds, knowing a bit about this section already. "And some Ogdru-hem are both Shadow spirits and spirits of something else, such as a concept."
"Does Color magic fall under Wizardry then, Thoth?" Tasha adds, posing her own question after the information.
"That would fall under Theurgy and Demonology," Thoth says. "Depending on the Color."
"Yellow is Demonology, that much is clear. What of Blue and Pink?" Tasha glances towards Samael a moment and adds, "Sam said Pink is the most dangerous and the Titanians said it was most like me. I'm interested in its use."
"Do you have a Pink Marker?" Thoth asks.
"I don't," Tasha admits. "I've only heard about it indirectly by mention and reference to myself."
"Until we have a Marker, we cannot know if a Pink entity exists," Thoth says. "Memetic Color beings are not well known."
"We'll just have to keep a eye out." Tasha nods and so settles back. "We already know about Yellow, so that leaves Blue. Blue, we do have."
"There are a lot more colors than that," Katie points out. "Unless it's only certain ones that have some sort of fundamental essence."
"I thought there might be, but I have no experience with them, not even a mention. As Thoth says, they're not very common. Mr. Yellow is the only purely-color oriented being I know of, let alone have met," Tasha tells Katherine. She wiggles her fingers. "The others use it as a secondary tool, one of many options, such as Persephone."
"Oh, there's more to him than a Color," Samael says. "It's just one of the way he manifests his influence."
"Then he, too, uses it as another tool. We haven't met a pure memetic existence related to a Color, then." Tasha nods to Samael as well. "Which means we don't have a safe source for instruction or example outside of Persephone, and her contact with this world is necessarily limited." She turns again to Thoth and bids, "Can you explain more about the Theurgery tradition? Sam can then elaborate on his end."
"Theurgy is sorcery that calls upon divine beings," Thoth notes. "Technically, there is no real difference between that and Demonology. These are arbitrary distinctions that identify traditions. Especially so in the current universal environment. The ecosystem of higher beings is rather sparse."
"What happened to the realms of the other higher beings? The Sifra, or some other disaster?" Tasha perks her ears forward. Dealing with reality-destroying disasters being, essentially, her job.
"The Vril-ya never encountered any, so we were the only ones easily available in the current galactic generation," Thoth says.
"Do the Waymakers also count?" Tasha asks, and then is reminded of an earlier question she noted to Lacci, "And does Vril or the Vril-ya suffer from the same unbuffered exposure to reality the beings of Shadow do? I notice you pursue mortals, but not for their souls, and I think the distinction of what alures you to us is important to understand. The fundamental difference between the types of 'energy'. I think I might be close to understanding, if I can just learn more."
"They aren't active in this reality, for safety reasons," Thoth notes. "Sorcery is limited to non-corporeal entities. Physical bodies tend to work within the physical limitations of reality after all."
"And what about the Vril-ya and Vril? Do your kind hunger for souls or seek escape from direct contact with reality? I know you are what you know, as the Shadow beings are, but do you suffer the same burden? Is Vril separated from other realities? Is this exposure to other realities what erode Vril for the same reason it pains the Shadow?" Tasha realizes she's leaned in a little too far, and so backs up a bit, ears splaying.
"Unlike the servitors or Ogdru-hem, the Vril-ya require containment vessels outside of our own reality," Thoth notes. "We have no desires for souls. Beings like Samael have their own dimensional membrane that services a similar purpose."
"So no membrane," Tasha notes, mentally noting it as well. She taps her chin and stares at Thoth, then Samael, in turn. "Existences formed directly from reality with no inner universe. I thought maybe Vril was the 'inner universe' of the universe, while demons are outside -- physical if you like. There's also the difference in concentrations of energies and the ease which they're created. Sometimes it feels like demons have an infinite supply while the Vril-ya do not. The generation of their existence is different, and I want to know that, too."
"The Vril is a living universe," Thoth explains. "The Vril-ya are fragments of it, just as Samael is a fragment of Pharol Xexanoth."
"And Sam's basically a living universe, too?" Tasha asks.
"For the most part, yes," Thoth says. "His kind are from the earliest universes to come into existence."
"Primal, then." Tasha nods slowly. "I was telling Lacci the Shadow's magic seemed more primal than Vril's, closer to fundamental existence. That suggests Vril is of a higher existence, maybe the same sort of being but generated by more refined sentience?"
"Or ... " And here Tasha wiggles her fingers, "Demons are made from existence before sentience and Vril from after?"
"There is no evolution of universal sentience," Thoth notes. "They are what they are and the Vril are what they are."
Tasha nods slowly. "I thought there might be some sort of connection. If I could figure that out, I feel like I'd have a better grasp on the powers and magics involved. But, maybe there's nothing after all."
"As I said, there's no functional difference between the two, in principle," Thoth notes. "It is only in execution that they differ. Wizardry and Alchemy rely on the practitioner's own power."
"And this power is ... our will?" Tasha asks, ears up.
"Your soul," Thoth says.
"Oh." Tasha leans back and nods a little. "And the soul is our inner universe. It's universe against universe, it seems."
"Metaphorically," Thoth replies. "Things are more complicated than that, of course.
"Of course," Tasha agrees without hesitation. "So if we're using our souls, then is there a risk to our souls? Can they be used up, like a battery? Another Vril-ya mentioned the possibility of contamination."
"There is a risk to your soul in all forms of magic," Thoth notes. "Mistakes are very expensive. You mind, body and souls can all be damaged or destroyed."
Tasha glances at her fellow students. "This is the part where you weigh heavily on the decision to join me for this. I won't hold it against you if you leave right now; I wouldn't even think it's a bad idea."
"So which is the safest tradition?" Katie asks.
"Traditionally, it has been spiritual sorcery," Thoth notes.
"And for me, personally: Does my spore or eye afford me any protection or incline me towards any tradition?" Tasha has heard you should go with your strengths, but she's not sure what those are exactly, especially not with a new body and a new eye.
"No, since magic is a mortal science," Thoth points out. "Special perception is something that is developed depending on the tradition being followed. Your spore affords you perception of a very specific kind, which will not apply to other types of entities unfortunately."
"Of course," Tasha repeats, exhaling. "Well I didn't expect it would be easy."
"It can be though," Sam claims, and grins. "With the right agreements."
"Those come with even worse problems. I won't tolerate any agreements being made of that nature without, at the very least, Gabriel and I being aware of -- and agreeing to -- it. Thotep is not a being anyone should lightly make an agreement with. Nor Mr. Yellow." The red woman raises her brows, to make sure her fellow students understand.
"Or we'll end up like you?" Lacci asks.
"Wealthy, has own ship, adorably pretty and surrounded by attractive and loyal people?" Tasha turns and, with great innocence, stares at Lacci blankly and with ears up. She then pouts; poor forlorn woodland creature.
"Mmmm," Lacci replies in a non-committal manner.
"That look makes you look tasty," Lacci finally notes.
"How tasty?" Tasha inquires leaning in, perking her ears, resting her head on her hand and smiling. The prey aspect does seem to shift very quickly. "Want a nibble?"
Lacci's ears go up, and she pauses. "Actually.. have you ever had sex with a Vartan? A male one?" she asks in a conspirational whisper."
But then Tasha returns to pouting at Thoth, "It's never easy, is it? We should summarize the pros and cons of each tradition and apply it to each member to assess who would be best served by each--" Tasha blinks at Lacci's comment, then wags her tail and points it at Lacci. "Of course I have. Male and female both. I had little to do with Karnors until I met Gabriel."
"I'd like to ask you some questions later," Lacci whispers.
"My way is easy," Samael claims, and Thoth.. looks at him. He might be glaring, but it's difficult to tell with the bionic eyes.
Tasha focus now on Samael. "Well lets hear it, then we can all pick apart why making deals of that sort it a bad idea. Lacci and Katie will find it very educational." And so the woman plants her head again and also stares at the demon.
"Well, you don't start out asking for big things and big prices, because you can only make that sort of contract once," Samael notes, and then grins at Tasha. "But you can minor contracts for much lower, and more temporary stakes. It won't even cost you having a little shadow spore embedded in you. Just a bit of blood." He then winks, and asides, "And it doesn't even have to be your own blood."
Thoth bristles a bit at this, but doesn't interject.
"And what do you do with this blood, or is it just general murder and mayhem? Kill this person here, pawn steps up, civilization falls, that sort of thing?" Tasha rubs her nose.
"Blood carries a tiny taste of soul," Sam claims, pinching his thumb and forefinger close together. "For tiny entities, that can be enough. Or it can be used to get them addicted, if you're really tasty. Thoth may bristle, but I wager his experiments were about turning blood into Vril."
And now Thoth gets Tasha's attention again. "And you mentioned demon engines as well. Have you been experimenting with the Shadow-method of things?"
"All knowledge is valuable," Thoth replies. "There is always something to be learned in methods you find distasteful."
"I think I understand that now." Tasha sits up and gestures to the ship around her, "An alien forged vessel powered by a demon broken by the manifestation of insanity. All our sneaking around. The need to lie and manipulate." She nods. "So I won't be a hypocrite by giving you the eye. I do think there are limits we should not cross, or we can't claim to be a force for improvement, just a force."
"Well, are you really out to improve things, or make sure they don't get worse?" Samael opines, finger raised. "Both goals are worthy, but you should choose which to prioritize."
"Well, not worse first and better second. It'd avail us little if we create something beautiful and the Ogdoad wake up and eat it," Tasha replies, spreading her hands in a shrug. "I think the term is 'triage'."
"Making things worse in the right way can make the bigger worseness less likely," Samael suggests.
"Like assassinated a leader because of their policy, but it causes chaos in the short term?" Tasha then glances at the others and notes, "Don't get any ideas, I'll rise again and get you!"
"Oh, nothing so specific, but if made the overall quality of life lower for the entire population," Samael suggests, "it would be like offering up wilted vegetables to one of your Lapis. They'd pass and wait for better quality ones to be grown."
"'Poison the well'?" Tasha tries, brows going up.
"It is surprisingly effective in certain circumstances," Samael says. "Usually when people are tired of having to offer up sacrifices."
"So if we find a civilization reliant on their power, we can push for things to be worse until they rebel and free themselves, seeking another way? Then we swoop in and offer them alternatives?" Tasha's tail flicks left and right, and again, as she internally flips and flops between pros and cons of the strategy.
"Eh, offering them an alternative is never a good idea," Sam claims. "Do that and they'll hold you responsible or ask for more things. You don't want to replace their demon with yourself. People that resort to that sort of thing in the first place are not the sort you want any long-term association with."
Tasha briefly considers if that's exactly how she got all of her friends, crew, and lovers, but quickly decides it's probably totally different somehow and she shouldn't dwell on it. "Do you mean people as in the one who offers or the one who asks, the population?"
"Best if you leave the population out of it, if possible," Sam offers. "The point is to be prepared to poison what needs poisoning. We should experiment of course. With Hakeber's blood, or your own."
"Oh that kind of poisoning, so we'd be tainting people to make their souls less desirable -- and the people more demonic in turns. Aligned, I assume, with your goals or that of Thotep?" Tasha cocks her head to the side, brows up again. "Or are you recommending Mr. Yellow?"
"As I said, it's best to ignore the population, and focus on the sacrifices," Sam notes. "And why shouldn't you use everything at your disposal? But be careful with the Yellow Sign. Hastur is likely one to demand bigger results each time, so be sure to keep things small at first."
Tasha nods slowly, then turns to Thoth and asks, "What your opinion on this strategy? Should we use everything at our disposal? I'm worried about the long term consequences and inherently covetous nature of Shadow-beings, of their timeless cunning."
"As opposed to what?" Thoth asks. "The reality is that you will need esoteric weapons against esoteric entities. They are not all cunning as you fear. Some are not even sapient in a familiar sense. And they are not all allied, or indeed likely to balk at being used to attack others. While they may share a similar nature, they are each unique and have no analog of kinship. They are not a species."
"I can see why you're a legendary wise man through out history," Tasha remarks, inclining her head. She then leans back and slaps her tail on the table, as one might slap a hand. "Alright. We'll table that decision until all of us are farther down the line in our studies, that way we all have a better idea of what we're getting in to. I'm not opposed to it but I want to learn more, and I want anyone who is contributing to this to know more. So, if it's all right with you two, I'd like to review the traditions and narrow down which we plan to use, and who will use them, and why. And why not."
"They are not mutually exclusive," Thoth notes. "But until they are tried there is no way of knowing who will show a strong affinity towards one. However, I do not foresee Lacci or Katherine showing an affinity towards nature spirits, as their relationship with nature has tended towards the hostile."
"Lacci did consider me a snack just a moment ago," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. "And I suspect Hakeber will focus towards the Shadow-arts, out of an interest to understand what is happening to her and of the greater universe. Wizardry is not possible for us to use, is it? It requires a considerable, mathematically-inclined intelligence, either a sentient mind capable of it or else an being who can perform the mathematics through non-thought based 'biology' or something akin to biology?"
"Technically, there already two Wizards on this vessel," Thoth notes. "Myself and the Niss. But yes, it is not something easily mastered, and requires understanding mundane sciences first. Both of the Karnors are suited to darker arts, although Katherine has charm, which can go a long way with certain entities. Know that 'souls' are not the most common commodity in play. Entities attuned to other memetic bases may prefer music, poetry, art, dancing and love. Although those are still things which come with costs."
"I guess trade is the universal constant, the manifestation of equilibrium of chaos and order through sentient exchange." Tasha rubs her nose, somewhat ruining the surprise insight, then taps a finger to her lips thoughtfully. "So that's an area for Katie to explore. What about Lacci and myself? And do you think Mel -- that is the Melchior -- would enable me to use Wizardry? Together we possess both a soul and the potential of an advanced artificial intelligence. And, I already have piloted a Titan utilizing Wizardry."
"Utilizing beams of True Vacuum without destroying spacetime throughout the universe is likely a step above Wizardry as we might be able to access," Thoth notes. "There may be issues with cybernetic enhancement of perception, but it will need to be explored."
"There was probably only a 70% chance that the battle with Luk'thu-hem would have destroyed the universe," Samael offers.
Tasha silently mouths 'beams of true vacuum,' she then goes to ask only for Samael to indirectly explain. Her muzzle goes very thin at the answer. "I was not informed of the destroy the universe possibility." She folds her hands neatly. "Charon and I were trying our best."
"But that's not what I meant," Tasha then adds hurriedly, perhaps to avoid anyone accusing her of being more dangerous than Luk'thu-hem.
"The vacuum state of universes is meta-stable," Samael explains. "That instability manifests in the quantum fields that allow for things like matter, energy, space and time. True vacuum is the lowest possible energy state: nothing. No quantum fields. Normally, if the vacuum spontaneously enters such a state, there is a chance it will expand outwards at the speed of light just erasing everything."
"Higher energy meta-stable states give rise to universes that are essentially homogenous entities, such as the Vril and most of the shadow entities. Memetic entities are outside of this," Thoth adds.
"That is a very scary weapon for a child to possess," Tasha notes. She turns to Katherine. "Remind me not to hand my children vacuum beams. Or, at least make sure they play outside our universe."
"Wait, are asking me to babysit?" Katherine asks.
"Well if copies of me will listen to anyone, it'd be you. Hake will just have them drinking," the red woman confirms.
"I am not good with children, and have no desire to become good with them," Hakeber claims.
"That would make getting pregnant a little difficult for you, Hake." Tasha did remember Hakeber's offer. "But I think we're digressing." She returns to Thoth and Samael and explains, "The remnants of the Star Empire on Sinai modified Balthasar to incorporate Sifran technologies, sort of like taking a laser cannon and stuffing it on a wooden airship. I was able to use the system; I think I blew up a mountain as a test before it all turned on me."
"That was second-hand wizardry," Thoth notes. "Sifran instrumentality is debatably wizardry. I assume it is more akin to the collective wizardry of the Niss, only a larger scale."
"I would say it counts as sorcery," Sam offers. "Using a more powerful entity to your own ends. In this case, the modified Titan was the more powerful entity. And it also shows the risks of doing so."
"I've had a hypothesis that the crystals themselves function like the Niss, or else act as nodal points. I even suspect the worlds have a crystalline core due to magic strength increasing as a point nears the surface. So what you say makes sense to me." Tasha nods; that's that. "But Mel and I might be able to do something; we can try it at least. So that spirits and Shadow magic for Katie, Shadow-magic for Hake, Wizardry for me ... What about Lacci? And anything for me, personally?"
Tasha lifts a finger and points at Thoth. "The risk wasn't the Titan, it was another entity that sabotaged me in order to prevent someone it felt was unworthy reaching Atum. Balthasar was simply the instrument of that test."
"Well, Lacci has ruined being able to access options available to virgins," Sam claims with a big grin. "She isn't jaded towards either nature or demonology. You'll also need to try both, Tasha."
"Lacci can rotate around with all of us then and see what works for her. The Fool needs to walk towards cliffs. As for myself, I'd like to try spiritualisim and wizardry. I'm already used to dealing with spirits of all kinds, and I have wizards I can speak with." She looks between the group, ears up, eye wide; make sense?
"Oh, so you don't want to work with me then?" Samael asks, and puts on his own version of Tasha's early helpless woodland creature expression.
"It'd help if you weren't so creepy and doomsome about all your offers. What kind of demon scares interested parties away?" Tasha then stands up, walks around the table, puts her hands on her hips and eyes Samael a moment before reaching down and fuzzing up his head with both hands. "And yet you're so cute you little demon guy why did I never get a brother."
"If I were the seductive sort, then I would be evil," Sam claims. "Rather than just preying upon the extremely desperate."
"Ha, that's where I beat you, I prey on the mildly desperate and lost," Tasha insists, then she picks up the smaller, male version of herself and sits him in her lap. "But I'll listen to you, too. Sign me up for Team Demons."
"Well, we'd be starting very small," Sam notes. "With the merely demonic."
Thoth claims, "There are certain advantages of working with demonic entities over nature spirits. Mainly that they stick to the rules, even if the smarter ones will try to trick you and bend them to their advantage as much as possible. Nature spirits can be much more capricious and unreliable."
"They both sound just wonderful." Meanwhile, Tasha is seeing what sort of funny faces she can make with Samael's cheeks. "Does that mean that nature spirits don't need to obey the rules? Is there no backlash?"
"They are closer to mortals in their moods," Thoth claims. "There were the first gods of some cultures, where they were mostly mortals writ large with exaggerated aspects of personality. This was most prevalent on Terra, due to their isolation, as well as for the Vartans. Being abandoned by their Progenitors left a void that other beings were primed to fill. Planet-bound Vartan are still animists, with a general belief that all things in nature have associated spirits."
"Wait.. you've been talking about faeries?" Hakeber blurts.
"That's true of Vartans from my home world as well. less so for Abaddonain Vartans, but very true for my world. True for me as well, I've just not thought about them much since dealing with all you very direct spiritual beings." Samael is then further subject to having his ears moved forward and back, each opposite and switching in turn. "Look out Sam, we're going to be associated with the fae some more."
"You are," Sam grumbles, and takes the sisterly(?) squishing and tugging in stride. "They do not deal with my kind."
"Heh," Hakeber chuckles. "There are several old Terran religions that claim faeries are also demons and devils."
"I missed out on all that," Sam notes through distorted cheeks.
"Maybe they will when they see how cute you are," Tasha insists, then Samael gets a kiss on his head and a hug. Tasha holds on to Sam like he's a stuffed animal and notes, "And we can only meet them on planets? What about the Maelstrom itself? Isn't it also a power?"
"The Maelstrom is a power within itself," Thoth notes. "It isn't like an ocean which can affect the air above and the weather for a planet. The Confederates spend the most time in the Maestrom and D-Level hyperspace. If anyone has developed a mythology or bestiary it would be them."
"Maelstrom Krakens, to quote Kaa?" Katherine asks.
"Being on good terms with our primary medium of travel would be wise, at least." Tasha nods to Thoth and Katherine in turn. "Krakens and other things. Supposedly the Maelstrom itself is a power, a Fundamental, but one whose properties and interests are not well known."
"And likely unknowable, due to the frame of reference issues," Thoth points out. "If one of your body's cells were trying to get your attention, would you notice? Now what if it was a molecule, or an atom, or a subatomic particle, or a minor quantum fluctuation?"
"Or you can just think of it as a type of spacetime with a vastly higher electromagnetic permeability than normal space," Sam says.
"But that's boring," Tasha insists, then tries to nudge around Samael's tail. "And the Niss do it somehow, but they're very dedicated."
"The Niss are a form of life that it is hard to find an analog for," Thoth admits.
"They're very nice and that's what matters." Tasha kisses her hand and then blows that kiss towards the ceiling, presumably to the listening Niss. "Perhaps they can serve as a teacher for Wizardry in their own way."
Tasha says, "PFT! Fsssssssssssssssssssssssssssst-clunk."
"They are a civilization, and may undergo political upheavals depending on how much autonomy each cell has," Thoth suggests.
"Vartan politics are very stable," Lacci claims. "And while my stomach has sometimes voiced concern, no part of my body has ever attempted a coup."
"A civilization of cells, but I know little of their individual lives, only their consensus. I don't even know what sort of internal temporality they utilize," Tasha contributes, spreading her hands. "They used to be a lot more like us until disease and the loss of their solar system pushed to transformation, and then in to the stars. But lets worry about us: What should we do next now that we've determined our code names?"
"I would suggest meditation training," Thoth offers. "Once you have learned how to unfocus, you will be better at maintaining proper focus."
Tasha perks up and leans forward, somewhat squishing Samael. "Oh, I have training with this, from back home when I was training to be a herald of deity."
"Thankfully there are tools which can help with this," Thoth says. "I have sensory bypass algorithms encoded to work with common virtual reality systems."
"That sounds dull," Sam claims, bent forward a bit by Tasha's chest.
"Of course." Leave it to the 'God of Knowledge' to have knowledge ready, Tasha decides. "And yes Sam it probably is dull but that's not exactly the point, the point is to learn to still yourself and act with focus, which can be very useful."
"Well, that may work for Thoth's training, but dark-magic training requires a different type of meditation," the demon claims.
"Being angry and kicking things? I'm a master at the hitting version," Tasha insists, looking down at Samael which requires an uncomfortable angle of the head.
"It is not a meditation that is meant to isolate your awareness," Sam claims.
"Hitting others?" Tasha tries, ears perked and eyes wide. It is likely this sort of thing that got her stuffed in to a fae body in the first place.
"No, but it's only for you and Hakeber anyway," Samael claims.
"Hake is very fragile," Tasha agrees. She wriggles until she can look around from Sam's side, brows still arched. "And what is this unboring method?"
"It is only for you and Hakeber to find out," Sam claims, crossing his arms. "We are the secret group within the secret group, after all."
"It will probably involve hallucigenic substances!" Hakeber says, clapping her hands together and grinning.
"That makes sense." Tasha also crosses her arms, which end up on Samael's head as she leans back. "That settles that then. Unless we're all terribly busy with something, I feel like we should begin immediately. Hesitation and uncertainty in magic are unlikely to be positive traits going forward."
"I've got my headset," Katie notes. "How about the rest of you?"
"I have Mel for meditation and hake for myserious Hakebering," Tasha chimes in, nodding. "I'm set."
"I have to take some.. medication.. before using VR," Lacci admits.
This gets Lacci focused upon. "You do?" Tasha's ears go up all over again.
"I can probably use Yue's set," Hakeber says, and also joins in staring at Lacci.
"My sense of balance is strongly tied to by visual acuity," Lacci explains. "If I'm not careful, I can jerk my head and hurt my neck trying to deal with it."
"You will not be following things in this particular simulation," Thoth claims. "You will simply be observing patterns."
"Snapping your own neck would put a damper on your learning experience, impressive though it may be." Tasha nods again. "We'll have Jonas see to you, then."
"I can use the AR system in my armor's helmet then," Lacci says.
"I need to upgrade my helmet to do that, and upgrade it to fit my head again." Tasha purses her muzzle, but then simply shrugs and slides to her feet, taking Samael with her whom she gently lowers to his feet. "Do you want to start, Hake, or do you need some time? I can go meditate if you do."
"Well, I assume we'll be separated for this one, if we have to use the VR gear," Hakeber says. "Do we need to be together for dark magic stuff, Sam?"
"Yes," Samael claims. "It will not be as effective with just two of you, but this is just an introductory version in any case."
Tasha listens, ears up, even as she fluffs her mane back in to stylish disorder. "Should we get to it then? I don't want to share secrets if we don't need to, the others have enough to focus on without dwelling on our methodology."
"Ah, you want to start with the dark path first then?" Samael asks.
"I feel like I might need to clear my head afterwards, and having one set of us do one thing and another set the other will supply contrast and allow each teacher to focus on a smaller set of students, if there are any problems." Tasha then gestures towards the exit, for Hakeber and Samael to join her.
"We will require privacy, and some room," Samael says. "And gravity."
"The Owner's Area has plenty of all of that," Tasha offers, then she begins out. "And come find me later if you need me, Lacci," the red woman adds before she's gone.
The observation room is as big as Tasha's bedroom (sans bathroom) and currently unoccupied, although it smells of human sweat for some reason. Samael immediately tries to move one of the chairs towards the center.
Tasha does not stop this movement of property, but is a little amused at watching Samael's diminished form carry the big old chair. "Do you need any help, Sam?"
"Clear all of the space around this," Samael instructs as he adjusts the chair so that the back is towards the window.
Tasha looks at Hakeber and shrugs, then she begins moving items around a ship as she has done since just after she was born. In short order -- and no small thanks to the room being largely empty already -- the space is cleared.
Sam then sits in the (for him) oversized chair. "Alright, now you remove your clothes. Or each others clothes, either is fine."
"If anyone else except a few people on this ship said that I'd have serious questions." Tasha then looks at Hakeber and shrugs once more. "I did say I'd go along with things, didn't I? And it's not like you haven't seen it all already. So clearly ... I need to strip you first." And then the winged woman is approaching Hakeber with mischief in her eyes.
"Oh? Well, it's been awhile since I've been stripped while sober," Hakeber claims. "How much fun are we supposed to have with this?" she then asks Samael.
"As much as you can," Sam replies. "This is the thing that Thoth and his ilk can never understand. The thing that separates them from nature and forces them to rely purely on intellect."
"Well it's always fun to strip Hake. Not hard, but fun." Tasha sneaks up behind Hakeber and slides her hands up under her shirt, along her sides, and then simply hugs her. "You're certainly opposite, Hake. Now people undress you."
"Well.. that wouldn't be as odd as someone dressing me," Hakeber says, and wiggles back against Tasha. "I bet Katie could do that though, and make it sexy."
"Terrans are much closer to their animal natures than other Galactics," Samael explains. "The Vartans and Silent-Ones have some savagery in them, and I am unsure of the Confederates - that lot seems disinclined to wallow in nature so much as make it serve their own needs."
"She does it for me all the time, and look how sexy I am," Tasha insists. And then Tasha nudges Hakeber's arms up before stripping her top off, while her tail tries its hand -- or lack there of -- at working off Hakeber's skirt. The neck nibbling is largely a bonus and not relevant. She does pause to add, "The Celestials ahve a strong sense of domination and conquest, of self-interest and strength. But don't underestimate the Confederates, they're just more relaxed about it. Closer to it, so there's less ... " She considers, which means more chewing, " ... passion of change? No, that's not right, antipodal shift? There's less change between restraint and indulgence, less movement."
"I don't know if they remember what it was like fear the night," Samael says. "So few species went through that phase, in previous era. From clever beast to Client to Galactic Patrons themselves. No chance to develop their own mythology, to populate the world they couldn't see or understand. To conquer the darkness by becoming a part of it."
Once de-skirted, Hakeber tries to spin around go after Tasha's clothes!
Tasha does not fight back, instead continuing to go after Hakeber herself. This involves a lot of muzzle-to-muzzle licking, but at least she refrains from taking things beyond that -- at least for the moment. At some point she looks over Hakeber's shoulder. "What's next Sam, or is this what you were hoping for?"
Samael stands up on the chair and changes. He stretches a bit, becoming thinner and more goat-like, except that instead of curled horns he sprouts antlers like a Cervani. And he becomes much darker, nearly black, save for something bright and shiny: a flute in his hand, made of several pipes of different sizes. "Next? Now you raise energy," he says, his voice deeper. "Dance." He then begins to play the flute, and the tune is certainly not like anything Tasha has heard before. It seems chaotic, but only if you stand still. It's music that moves and dances.
Never having been a great dancer, Tasha has generally gone with what occurs to her at the time, which can't be said to be fashionable but at leats it's energetic. She distances herself from Hakeber, arm's length and then takes her hands, entwining fingers. "Come on Hake, lets dance for the scary goat!"
"Well, you should be lighter on your feet now," Hakeber says, and does a twirl. "But you've got hooves and wings, you're going to need a bit of space to keep your balance!" She then jumps up in the air and comes down on all fours for a moment. "But I can just go wild!" she claims.
It's true, spinning and swatting Hakeber right on her butt would put a damper on the flow of energy, or so Tasha assumes. She steps back farther, bends forward and flares her wings, tail out and back. She's never tried coordinating the whole thing in to dance, but now is a good time to try. She attempts Hakeber's spin, stumbles, then tucks her wings to and tail before coming out with a counterbalancing flare of both, arresting her rotational energy. She adds her hands to the move and begins swaying, then adds footwork, clip-clopping to the floor and attempting to match the chaos.
Hakeber is back upright, has her hands waving around over her head, and is just.. jumping and running and looking like she's about to try a cartwheel at any moment, but really is just trying to move as much of her body as she can. And.. it's not out of sync with the music, nor are Tasha's attempts. If Hakeber starts howling though someone might notice. The Lapi and the Eeee have scary good hearing.
Just to be safe, Tasha gives the cutoff gesture to the door, locking it against anyone but executive override. She then returns to the music, working to better coordinate her own dance moves and incorporate even more motion, such as shifting her tail to point in random directions at each peak in the tune, moving her wings like one might dance to a fan, and moving and swaying her body in the style she saw in Abu Dabi. She can't engage in aerial dance, which is the terrestrial Vartan favorite, and her breadth means she has to watch herself, but she can flow and shift, as she's seen in the past. The Abu Dabian dancers could move their entire selves and barely take a step.
Of course, the last time she tried dancing in Abu Dhabi a bunch of Kavi girl acrobats hypnotized and stripped her on stage. But any structured dance would be hard-pressed to conform to the music. There's no sequence to it, other than a sort of consistent beat.
Well, if Hakeber's going to sing, Tasha decides she ought to as well! It feels like it's been a long time since she really let go. She rememmebers bits and pieces of songs from here, there, and everywhere, and tries to sing them in to a narrative that is applicable as it is nonsensical, full of her understanding of the Shadow, of people, the night, its terrors, its heat. All things she knows, from experience and heart.
It does help! Tasha begins to feel hot (which may be why this is done without clothes). Her heart races, and her body just moves on its own. She doesn't have to think about any of it.
It's a nice change of pace, since generally she's thinking and worrying about everything. She lets it flow, feels it like a river, like an ocean, but not in a single direction, in oh so many directions. Motion, without which there would be only stasis, and complete stasis is death. One of the foundations of existence, a power and energy incomparable and part of the essence of life.
It's certainly a sort of passion she hasn't experienced often. It's easy to imagine a bonfire, and dancing shadows on trees or stones, with whipping hair and sweat and heat. And howling. Savanite tribes would dance like this, out in the jungle. Maybe Jupani did too, with their sword-dances. Wild and dangerous and letting everyone and everything out in the dark know they were there and not caring.
And hasn't that been what she's done, so very often? Not simply howling in the dark, but walking straight in to it and meeting what resides there head on, face to face, and coming out alive. Mostly alive, and yet even after death she's still doing it. Did it. The light, the fire, the dark and the howling, first in friendship, then in defiance. She remembers howling in the dark of Charon's hanger-mouth, howling at the night to let it know she was unafraid -- and that she was coming for it.
Hakeber is there, a presence felt by her own motion and scent and heat. And Sam is still playing, but it's no longer clear if his song is leading or following at that point, or if there is some other sort of connection. Tasha does feel closer to Hakeber, even if it's got nothing to do with thinking.
And so Tasha turns her mind away from rage and fury to something else, of equal but opposite passion, reaching out for her friend in the music and showing she can lead just as well as follow. With the flow of her body under control, she turns now to try and weave Hakeber in to her dance.
It's a brushing contact against her wings first, as Hakeber.. teases? But sometimes it feels like there's a third dancer, or else the impression of where one should be.
In this crazy space, everything seems like it's only half there, and why focus on something half there when Hakeber is right there? She focus more on Hakeber, which isn't hard as often she she focuses on her friend these days. She reaches out, tries to turn her touch in to dance, sinuous gestures trailing here and there.
Hakeber's dance becomes a bit more sinuous now, as if trying to lure Tasha into her dance. She's certainly making a lot of wavy come-hither gestures with her hands. And Hakeber is not a graceful dancer.
Tasha isn't about to deny Hakeber's effort, perhaps she, like herself, as learned to grow in to the song? She steps forward and adds her own gestures in to the mix, complimenting and amplifying them, playing off the motion of the other.
Hakeber opens her mouth.. and pants. It's hard to keep cool while doing this. It'd definitely meant for cooler climes, or nighttime. The Karnor turns and wags her tail at Tasha as well!
Tasha can manage a little heat, that much she's certain. She helps Hakeber with her clothes, hooking the last of them to her tail and flinging them away before meeting her muzzle with her own. She doesn't need thought and innovation to know the next moves, even as she tries to incorporate them in to the song and the dance.
Sam is definitely altering the music to match now. And with her focus on Hakeber, Tasha doesn't feel any more phantom dancers. If they're even dancing at this point. There's definitely a lot biological activity though! It's stirring up old instincts related to.. hunting? Well, something old and primal, certainly.
There's always been something about Hakeber that has made Tasha want to hunt, perhaps her slightness or vulnerability, how provocative and approachable she is. The sense that she wants to be ravaged, and that if just a little bit, Tasha can give in to that urge. An urge she keeps in check, much more so as she ascended her journey in to the stars. Frustrating, but necessary. And for her par, she too has tried to invoke that hunger in others, to be ravaged even as she's done it to others, and has felt the same restraint and uncertainty in Gabriel, in Katie. Even in Hake, but it's always been closer to the surface in her. In a flash she realizes Hakeber had already let go long ago, just as she had never created something to let go before her journey. And that is part of the song now, what draws them together. She thinks Hakeber must feel it too, and so indulges it, waiting to see who falls in to what side of things first.
Hakeber actually pounces first! And play-bites Tasha on the neck!
Tasha stumbles at the sudden change in weight, yelping, but then she rights herself and puts her muzzle around Hakeber's ear to chew on and her hands about her body, not bothering to hold back anything anymore. And so it turns in to a balance to forces ravaging each other, hands and teeth -- and for one -- tail. From standing until she can't stand, to the floor.
Once they're both on the floor, the dance is pretty much over, so Samael stops playing and hunkers down like a gangly gargoyle. "That was good for the environment," he says, as if either woman is really listening. "It will be better on a living world. Much more energy, and more doorways."
"Mmm," goes Tasha, which could be agreement or else it could just be one of the many noises she tends to make when 'engaged'.
"I will grow bigger in such a place as well," the demon claims. Hakeber barks when she's bitten again.
"Mmmhmm." So maybe she is listening. Or maybe she just agrees with Hakeber's squirming and yelping; perhaps both.
"You will make good witches," Sam suggests. "But there needs to be more of you for things to work properly. At least for the dancing. Lacci is part bird, so should be able to at least bob her head."
Tasha nods, so she definitely is paying attention even with nearly all of her focused on seeing if she can make Hakeber whine before she does, which isn't far away either. It occurs to her there's really a difference between anatomical needs and efforts; Karnor women are easier to pleasure by action, while Vartan women appreciate motion and visible action. There are other differences. Between these thoughts she decides that, yes, she would make a good witch.
Nestled within the cockpit of Melchior, Tasha receives the AI's report: "I have finished analyzing the VR program. It consists of patterns and flashes of light and sound the could trigger specific neurological reactions in the observer. It is possible that the intent is generated an altered state of consciousness."
A shower -- and then another shower -- later, Tasha sits in the cockpit wearing a fuzzy bathrobe and pajamas. The idea is to relax, she has precious few outfits that still fit her, and getting dressed would have woken Hakeber, hence her comfortable predicament. "Well this should be interesting. Samael's method involved a lot of intense feeling and crazy dancing. I'm ready to go any time."
"I am attempting to modify for direct neural connection," Mel responds. And then.. things become scrambled. Tasha feels fluid at first, and then doesn't feel anything at all. The meditation cave back on the Temple of Morpheus in Dianus was a bit like this, but the high-tech version goes beyond customary sensory deprivation: Tasha doesn't feel anything, physically. Nothing exists outside of her own sense of self.
It may be what it's like to feel dead.
Except Tasha was dead, and she distinctly remembers remembering nothing at all. And now, she remembers remembering that she just remembered to remember, and now suspects that this is going to drive her insane very quickly. Being a physical sort, a lack of even analogues to physicality strikes her as being very unnerving, giving way to the thought she's glad Lacci took that medication because she's sure the poor bird would have just snapped her head clean off at this sensationless horror.
The sensation vacuum doesn't last. There are flashes and tidbits. A random scent that she can't quite identify. A sound that she can't place or locate. Event little sparks of light. They are probably hallucinations though.
Tasha thinks she didn't have to wait to go insane because it seems to be going on for her, which at least saves her the effort. Samael, for his part, actually made her work herself a promise short of a nap. Here she'll at least be well rested, assuming she can endure and not scream.
That's another thing.. can she scream? Or is the whole point to calm one's mind to avoid having it start making things up?
That was also the point of her previous meditations, and given the experience goes by the same name, Tasha suspects a fundamental similarity. She suspects that she also should have chosen this exercise first, but accepts the benefit in doing things the hard way, even if she had no real way to know what either entailed. So she tries to calm her mind, and at least that's easier now that she wore herself out only minutes ago.
Calming apparently involves creaking sounds. Specifically the creaking she associates with an airship, both structural and rigging. So far it is only sound though.
And so Tasha just images being tangled up in the rigging atop the gas bag, where she'd often go to get away from everyone else and stare at the sky. The tangling helped her not fall off, and the sky helped her mind relax. The balloon was mainly for comfort. It's also why she has a tendency to stare upward when under stress, a callback to an earlier time.
The sky is what comes next. It's not light or dark, and while she's certain there are things to see in it, it takes time for the stars to show up. They don't stand still though, but move about in odd ways, similar to the 'fireflies' she might sometimes see at the edges of her vision sometimes. But now she can actually see them, sort of.
More and more it reminds her of a dream, and dream is akin to death. She isn't exactly sure why, but it's something Nora knew, because she can tell the difference in the flavor of the association. Something Nora was taught, a memory with an old feel, older than Nora by far. Classic. Remarkable if only because Nora didn't have a lot of other deep associations with dreaming. A dream-sky, dancing, surreal.
There's still no physical sense of self. The sparks of light seem to come from all around, but they aren't entirely random. Usually they flare into and out of existence after seeming to move in a straight line, but some are moving in curves and persisting.
Tasha isn't sure what it means, but at least it's pretty. Not unlike shooting stars, which she now knows to be debris falling from space. Sinai, her home world, has more than it's fair share of celestial rain. She watches it with mild interest and little judgment, passive.
This seems to bring the swirling motes more into focus. There's no sense of distance, so they could be close or far or behind her point of perception. They move to sound of the rigging, and begin to multiply and interact.
They collide, or orbit, stick together and split apart.
Non-engagement seems to be working, and it doesn't require much from her, so Tasha sticks with that. It's similar to her older meditation training and she realizes a certain synergy because Samael's method and this one. Chaos can lead in to order, and order to chaos, so long as she leverages things. There is momentum in to passivity and activity.
Some of the 'foci' from the orbits stay still, until there are four separate groups of motes concentrated around these set point. That's when Tasha begins to get fleeting senses of 'other' from them. A sense that she's being watched by them.. but not quite solid enough to claim that they aren't also her. She's heard the term 'navel gazing' but originally assumed it meant watching military airships. Only humans can really see their navels. And even then, the phrase didn't seem to make any sense. But the notion that she's somehow observing some internal mental process of her own doesn't quite go away. Nor does the sense that it's her and also not her at the same time.
The best comparison Tasha can come up with are the various times she's met beings very similiar to herself, such as Nora, and the times when she's gone full-in on existing at the level of machine-intelligence. Both came with a sense of self and other, yet also a similarity of self, while the machine world had so many instances of an internal self it felt like she could be omni present while still directing part of her self to act separately. This doesn't exactly seem like either, but there are similarities. If anything it feels a bit like looking at broken glass, herself reflected in the dots, but oddly.
Notably absent during this is her other voice: Blackwings is silent. So whatever this is probably isn't interacting with Tasha's subconscious mind, only her higher functions. It may not be possible to dissociate the subconscious from the physical after all. Things begin to change though. There's more of a sense of mass to herself now, even if it doesn't involve a body. Or at least the sensation of drifting downwards.
Tasha isn't sure why her massive body is drifting downward, as she always felt like a very upward focused being. Still, she isn't going to disrupt things by mentally arguing with the vision, trying to keep her mind blank even as it's prone to wander and review. She wants to see where all this is going, and she admits the strange journey and feelings are a little cinematic, even if they're hard to fathom.
It's a gradual transition, but the fireflies seems to link up to form odd, bell-shaped creatures with long tendrils. As more of her body seems to impinge on her awareness, the sensation is less floating downward than sinking through water. More glowing creatures appear, in bizarre forms as she sinks deeper and deeper.
It reminds her a great deal of being under the water, a strange world for an avian, even a half-avian. land and air were and are her domains, making the sea especially peculiar to her throughout her life; more so, for how much beings of wing and muscle fair poorly in water. The world where she found He-Wh-Moves had creatures like this, and it reminds her of sinking there. There, to strangeness beneath the waves, as it is now.
There are also stars in this odd ocean. And soon she can feel currents ruffling her floating fur and hair. She can't move, but she's got her limbs back. The stars are definitely distant, but are sometimes occluded by things that move across them like shadows. Finally she feels pressure against her back, and one by one the stars and odd creatures fade away, until she finds herself back in her flight couch.
Tasha blinks several times, then just to be sure, "Am I back in reality or am I still hallucinating?" She's had dreams like that before.
"Existentialist philosophers have never been able to definitively answer that question," Mel replies.
It does sound like the Mel she knows and, just as importantly, not like the herself she knows -- in any form. "I think it's safe to say I'm awake again. That was very weird. Did you notice anything unusual when I was ... out?" She isn't sure she was out, in fact, or even what state out would entail.
"You exhibited brain-wave activity consistent with a hypnogogic state of awareness bordering on a much deeper cycle normally associated with dreamless sleep," Mel notes.
"That explains the not-fishes, though it does not explain why I dreamed of not-fishes in the first place. Stars, I was expecting, but no sea life." The young woman, possibly much younger now depending on how the observer might measure such things, reaches up and rubs her temlpes. "Pre-magic is very surreal."
"You may have been influenced by your surroundings," Mel suggests. "The Maelstrom is a sea of sorts, with fish of sorts - but at a much lower density than a planetary sea would have."
"So it's my density to see this," Tasha wags her tail, wiggling her fingers and grinning. "I hope the Maelstrom has a sense of humor, anyway. So you think being in here makes me dream of it? I know we call it a sea but it always seemed like something different than a sea, but also the same. It's hard to explain. Whatever it is, I you think I drifted in to dwelling on it?"
"/The sea is a common archetype for many things, including but not limited to dying, returning to the womb, beginnings and endings, odd odors, decay, and because you are hungry for fish or are having feelings of solidarity with dolphins," Mel suggests.
"I do hunger for fish and have solidarity with dolphins, which I find to often be the same thing." Tasha rubs her nose, then flops back in the command couch to sprawl out and melt in to the seat. "I feel like the future me-children and my whole species will get along very well with them. We have a lot in common. And I did die. I don't know if I returned to a womb, I think I skipped that part. I began and I ended then I began again. No odors or decay. I took a shower. Two showers."
"What went wrong with the first shower?" Mel asks. He probably does not have a lot of experience with showers.
"Hake went right with the shower. Then we needed another shower because we went to the floor, and then the bedroom floor, and part of the bed and the walls and ... There was a lot of 'mystical energy' involved." Tasha thinks 'mystical energy' with very vague wiggling of the fingers and waving of the hands. "And stripping and you know how Hake is." She doesn't say he knows how she is, because he already does.
"I know her mass," Mel notes. "My interactions with others are somewhat limited."
"Well her mass is a very important step to knowing her," Tasha insists. She exhales, sinks lower, and then flicks her tail in to her hands and fiddles with it. "I suppose I should go report in to my instructor. Or do I call him master now? I am not calling Samael master."
"Is there something wrong with using Teacher as a title?" Mel asks.
"It's less dramatic and mock-complainy," Tasha insists. She waggles her hands, flopping fish-like. "And it's probably a joke. Teacher is fine. Teasing Thoth is a battle no one can win, anyway."
"How have you been trying to tease him?" Mel asks.
Tasha counts off, "I nicknamed him Dr. Eyes because of his weird eyes, the usual banter and charming ribbing, I think I threatened to kill him but only because he was attacking crew without permission -- slapping Samael right in to a statue. He had a good reason but still." Tasha tsks, head shaking. "Not that I do any of that anymore. Having him on the team is a big step up. he is the god of knowledge, or at least carried the role for a while. Also -- and you'll be interested in this -- he made you."
"Do you mean my body, my mind, or both?" Mel asks for clarification.
"You know he didn't say? But he knows enough about your construction to know the original intent, because it was his intent: To create a means by which a mortal can generate Vril through unification with the Titan. You're a means to transcendence Mel. Together we're supposed to be able to generate Vril by arriving at a higher state of consciousness." There's more vague hand wiggling.
"We have already achieved the highest possible state of combined consciousness that I am capable of," the AI notes.
"I guess it's me then. I'm just not very Vril-generating. Of course," and here Tasha cocks her heato the side and dumps it on the knuckles of the closest hand, " ... either is any of the other pilots. He hasn't succeeded in finding a way at all. It'd help a lot if I understood what vril-energy is. Is it memetic? Some form of stasis-based conceptual 'energy'? Sam says the fundamental difference between Vril-beings and mortals is a lack of understanding of the terrors of the night and raw emotion, they're purely intellectual and logical, which doesn't sound like Horus but maybe he's simulating it somehow? So maybe it's a pattern-based logical higher state of consciousness as an energy? Like living wizardry."
"I do not have records of our time within the Way," Mel says. "I cannot speculate on the form this Vril takes, but it appears to consist of pattern or form and a vaguely defined energy. I do not believe energy is the proper term to use however. It is not based on the physical laws of our universe, where energy has a specific definition. Perhaps you should request a more concise explanation from Thoth."
"It's very hard to explain otherworldly energy-- otherworldly elements with worldly language, you know! It's like how I call them all 'gods' even though I know the details. It's convenient." Tasha sucks in a deep breath, exhales, then swings her feet and sits up. "I suppose I should ask him. I can't surprise him by making Vril if I don't even know what it is."
"He presumably has some available for analysis as well," Mel points out.
"Well he is made of the stuff," Tasha notes,wiggling her fingers self-ward now. "He's like a Vril-ya pilot in a robot-headed, organic, Vartan-styled mini-Titan. I wonder how he even made that body?" She arches a brow, then shakes her head. "I should go ask him before I forget my other experience, too. Well, off I go, we'll talk again soon!" And so she rises, "Pilot disconnect."
The robotic contact arm retracts, and the hatchway opens for Tasha.
Tasha walk-crawl-slides her way out, having exited so many times that arriving on the deck via the slipperiness of the Titan's surfaces and wing action has become routine. She swings her arms as she walks along, heading towards the lift. "Ship's intercom. Tasha to Thoth. Thoth, I'm done, do you have a moment to discuss things, please?"
"Where do you wish to meet?" comes the reply.
Tasha stops, looks around, then offers, "How about the Hangar? We can talk about Mel and his Vril-generating exciting potentials?"
It takes some time, since Thoth can't use the elevator and has to walk through the corridors to get there. "When we spoke of wizards, the intention was not for you to attempt to dress as one," Thoth comments when he sees Tasha's bathrobe.
"Mythology is what you make of it and there is great power power in symbols," Tasha quotes, laying a hand over her heart. "Besides I thought being comfortable would help me focus on meditation, and it did. There were stars and fish and sinking-in-to-a-sea."
"What sort of fish?" Thoth inquires.
"Little um ... " Tasha lifts her hands and tries to outline what she saw with hand gestures, " ... glowing umbrella-like creatures, stars, and other things. Mel thinks I was thinking about the Maelstrom."
"Have you observed such creatures in the Maelstrom then?" the odd bird-headed figure asks next. "I believe you are describing what are generally termed 'jelly fish' although they have nothing to do with fruit spreads and you should not attempt to use them as such."
The idea of sea-fruit that also glowed was momentarily exciting for Tasha until reality's harshness ended that before it could begin. "They might have been jelly fish. I remember a great many sea creatures on the planet Encante. I've never seen anything like life in the Maelstrom, although Kaa assures me they exist. I'm not sure what any of it means, however."
"But you were not tormented by strange voices, suffered phantom pains or saw visions of blood, death or torture," Thoth says, and dips his beak in a nod. "That is good."
"I get enough of that in reality," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. "Is that common for people?"
"Getting enough blood, death and torture?" Thoth asks. "Generally, small amounts are considered enough. For those for whom it is not enough, there are law-enforcement and mental health agencies."
"How very judgmental," Tasha insists with folded arms and a sniff. "As if society didn't get to where it was without such things. But I'm teasing. I mean hallucinations, or dreams, or whatever-it-is-I-was-supposed-to-see. Was what I experienced success?"
"That depends on what you were expecting," Thoth says. "I can help to induce certain meditative states, but what you experience in them comes from within."
"Considering what I've been through, skies and seas seem like a very peaceful theme. I think that's good," Tasha insists, rapping the knuckles of her right hand against her head, "and could be a lto worse. A lot worse. I guess this mean that this step is done then. We finished up with Samael , as well. Was there anything you needed to know? Questions I should ask?"
"Done? This was just the first step," Thoth explains. "You will eventually be able to enter this state without external aid. Preferably before attempting it in a natural environment. I know there are risks to practicing it in flat space, due to its effect on most minds, but it will hopefully help to overcome those effects. I imagine Samael will expect continued practice as well. This isn't about what I need to know. What do you think you should be asking next?"
"How do I ... progress towards a practical application or the ... art?" Tasha tries, ears perking up. She then snaps her fingers. "Oh! And what Vril is."
"You progress by progressing," Thoth says. "There are no grades, levels or steps. It is a continuous experience. But for now, being to easily achieve receptive states of consciousness will be the starting point. Vril is.. Vril." Now Thoth almost looks thoughtful, but it's subtle. "It is not quite a form of life, as life is commonly defined. It is like your blood, if your blood had memory and will. Although will is also subjective."
"And if an entire universe was made of blood as well," the man adds.
"And not just any will, but a specific style of will. There is uniformity to Vril and to the beings it produces. What I don't know is, is that uniformity because it all stems from the same source and original will, or because the nature of Vril itself is orderly?" Tasha taps the side of her head with a finger. "Sam says you don't fear the night, never dance din the fire, don't feel primal emotion and the raw desire to laugh and defy the darkness because you chose to be unafraid. It's all logic. So I thought maybe Vril is a logical .. force. Like you say, not life as it's usually defined. Different origin, no night to fear. Different evolution. And you think someone created it?"
Thoth says, "As part of the meditation program, you should have started from a point of self-awareness, with no other context. That is the closest analog to the Vril source. An existence where there is only that. But there was no internal monologue, no imagination. Until something from outside intruded. That triggered the first drive within the Vril: to study this intrusion."
"A baby universe brought to play with the new toy, because before it had been alone and unmoving. 'Stasis is akin to death.' So it wans't alive because nothing moved; the intruder became chaos that brought life and living." Tasha nods slowly, it makes sense to her. "Just like I started focusing outward at my first intruder. But who was this intruder? The Waymakers?"
"The well," Thoth replies. "That is, the connection point between the Vril and the Way. There are an infinite number of wells, but since it is the first thing the Vril experienced, it is something it is very good at detecting and using. By examining the nature of it, it was possible to fashion Atum to carry a portion of the Vril for exploring this new reality, and many others, expanding the knowledge and awareness of the Vril."
"Are you the ones who made the walking well-fortresses then? They accept the Markers as keys and filter the entrant, but they're so unusual they could have been made by you, the Waymakers, or even the Sifra. Also," and so Tasha raises a finger, " ... how did you used to travel between worlds?"
"Atum created the fortress during the war," Thoth says. "I do not know all that is involved in the wells, but I believe they can only be opened from within the Way. And I walked."
"It's very nice," Tasha says of the fortress, and it was. She's always wanted a miniature version to put on her desk. "I had thought of trying one of the wells, seeing where it went and what the other universe was like. The methods and nature of the Way was only elaborated on after I met Atum. Neither Persephone nor Charon know of it, so it's in their future." She then tilts her head. "Walked as in ... walked and then appeared on another world? Folded space? Wormholes? Did you wizard the universe in to forgetting where you were located?"
"More or less, those things," Thoth claims. "It is more complicated than it sounds."
"Of course it is," Tasha says with a slow nod, eyes closed, hands in her lap. "That is why I have excellent teachers such as yourself to explain such things to me, for how can a student learn if they're not taught?"
"Well, the first thing you have to learn is how to step through a higher dimension without entering it," Thoth says. "That is the complicated part. The rest is easier, and only involves altering the electromagnetic permeability of spacetime for a brief moment. Which is generally the method used by overspace drives. Mine is just much smaller."
"All in all, I find it much safer to use starships," the being admits. "Although I cannot use the Silent-Ones gateways, for reasons similar to why this vessel could not use one."
Tasha nods, as if it all made perfect sense. At least, some of it actually does. "I had thought small overspace drives were impossible, but then we see the impossible every day. Impossible really just means impossible within a rule set, and we don't have just the one here, do we?" She unfolds a hand to gesture at Samael perfectly, showing that she can see him just fine with her eyes closed. "Such as the both of you. As for the gateways, why not? And, speaking of Silent-Ones, why did they never adopt the Library when only the Humans were free of it? You were born near Zion, were you not, Thoth?"
"'Born' is a good enough term I suppose," Thoth says. "The Silent-Ones do not use the Library because it would be taking the easy way. The Library is decadent. It also charges very high fees. As for why you could not take Dark Horse through one of their gateways, it is because of the hull material. Celestial starships could not pass through for the same reason. The stargates use the same material, on a much larger scale to create a warp tunnel instead of a warp bubble. It would be like passing two magnets through one another. The smaller mass would be crushed."
"Also, if you don't do things yourself, you can't claim to be superior to those who do not," Samael offers.
"Well I wouldn't want to be crushed, especially so soon. That would be terribly repetitive of me." Tasha's eyes open. "Not that I had intended us to use the Gates if we could avoid it, transit through such a well-armed port seems like it would come with a great deal of scrutiny, and I don't put it past such a religious power to have some strength in the magical arts, or have tried their hand at tackling demons." She wiggles her fingers, untangling them. "Awkward questions all around. I did see they named their moon after you, though they later destroyed it. I hope that wasn't personal?"
"Coincidence," Thoth claims.
Tasha cocks her head to the side, dubious. "No plot or attempt at creating Vril, perhaps teaching alchemy, that may have offended them?" She then holds up her hands. "They were very offended by me as well. Personally, I find them arrogant in the way underdogs can be, which I know from personal experience."
"I do not fit the image of a Silent-Ones sage," Thoth notes. "Nor do I destroy moons. It wasn't a very big moon, however. They had others to stabilize their their precession."
"The only one who would fit that image is a Silent-One," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. "But I think we've covered the destruction of moons and travel well enough. Lets return to magic. We've gone over the introductions and the disciplines, but what I'm now interested to know is what can be done with it. Concrete-" Tasha twitches, concrete being a distinctly Nora memory that is foreign enough and anachronistic enough even her integrated memories can't white wash it, " ... effects. Applications. I've seen wizardry enough on my home world, though perhaps a very distilled and limited variety?But what can alcehmy do? And sorcery? Do different disciplines offer a focus, or are they all equally capable?"
"It may be better to ask 'what do I want to accomplish' instead," Samael replies. "Technically, you can do anything. Practically, you do not have unlimited time and resources to do so, because there are more convenient non-magical solutions available. Give us an example of something you would like to accomplish via magic."
"A lot of that answer is based on reaction to a situation, as they present themselves," Tasha replies, glancing between Katherine and Hakeber, "So it may be better to go over past situations where magic may have been helpful. The battle with Luk'thu-hem used both wizardry and sorcery to resolve, so the creation of space-time pockets might be an answer to direct conflict. If they're not in our universe, we needn't concern ourselves with the difficult matter of their destruction, and really they may prefer being elsewhere. Another situation in which Samael offered to eat my brain to work around was stepping foot on Varta, he would conceal my appearance. Concealment would be very useful in dealing with mortal powers we'd rather not direct weaponry at."
"I was a Vartan for a period of a day or so," Tasha then adds, considering, "And a HUman, a Wolf, some sort of Bromthen hog-like being, and a large bird. And a man." She makes a face.
"Praxafallopus is a good example of the amount of effort involved in removing something from the universe," Samael notes. "And that had the advantage of the instigator pulling instead of pushing. Generally, you can expect costs similar to using K'z'Kxa-hem. Disguising oneself is simpler, but the cost and effectiveness depends on the path taken, the duration desired and the physical toll it will take."
"Well lets use scenarios. A Vartan, for several weeks. A ... how about a wolf, for several weeks. A bird, for a few hours." The red woman's inner Hakeber-sense tingles with the imminent joke of, "A man, for half an hour." She does her best to appear unmoved.
Samael grins. "Well, those are easy, except for the Vartan," he claims. "To be a convincing Vartan though, you would have to become one mentally." He holds up a hand and says, "Yes, I know you grew up identifying as a Vartan, but this would be more drastic. You know what it was liking thinking as a human for awhile. You are not a Vartan, and technically never have been. You are unique. Even your resident Vartans, Lacci and Shojo, have no idea how to behave or interact with planetside Vartans."
"That's a good point." Tasha rubs her muzzle, ears askew. "And how would I go about that? They're a lot shorter, I remember, and gentler. My ancestry comes from Clan Harbinger and space fairing Vartan mercenaries, not planet-side Vartans." She thinks to contest the animal forms as well, but recalls that part of her did experience it, she simply hadn't integrated with that part. Samael must think the memory remains.
"You should first determine if masquerading as a Vartan is more risky than trying to be yourself," Samael suggests. "We know that the planetside Vartans rarely leave their worlds, but we have seen they do not shun the idea. Varta is beginning to open up as the grip of the Khattans begins to loosen. You should investigate the option of making a legitimate historical expedition. You do have contacts within Galactic academia now."
"There are also the colony worlds," Thoth offers. "Remember that Varta is not the true homeworld of the Vartans. That is the colony world, Kara'roon'calla, where their Marker was located."
"Yes, we should avoid using powers and favors we don't need to, or at least opt for lesser favors and bargains over greater." Tasha inclines her head to Samael, then turns to Thoth. "It is not the only one. We should attempt to retrieve the others. Likewise Eve, who resides on the Kampfengruppe colony world. That may well call for magic, they are known for a great distaste for other species. Vulcan may well find us in time. We know little of where a Library nodal world may reside, and then there are the Cill, which will require we locate additional Wizards."
"I suspect House Khomen has knowledge of at least some of those," Katherine suggests. "You don't hold an Ogdru-hem without some sort of extra-normal information."
"Getting them to tell us is another matter, but we may be able to extract it as we extract the Ogdru-hem. That leads us to another use for magic: covert operations. Specifically, supporting and enabling our covert operations forces when we act against Daltoona. I'd like to avoid mortal and immortal casualties beyond what are absolutely necessary." Tasha looks to Katherine, then the two immortals. "Any thoughts on what might be done, or should we wait until we have more information?"
"Daltoona Station is, as the name implies, a space station," Thoth points out. "There will be no nature spirits to call on, and the lesser sort of shadow-entities will keep clear of an Ogdru-hem. But the Khattans have a weakness, and that is currency. The Great Houses are surrounded by layers of lower-caste merchants either trying to get in, or harboring grievances at being locked out."
Katherine grins. "Hakeber got Kampfengruppe soldiers to roll over for her," she notes. "She's very good at charming the disenfranchised."
"Being a cheap drunk had its perks," Hakeber admits.
"We do not have a great deal of currency, so am I to assume you have an idea where some might be found? A millions-year old private account perhaps?" Tasha glances at Hakeber and smiles. "That is another alternative, isn't it? I helped for a bit, too, I'm just glad that didn't get back to Gabriel."
"We'll need to contact Mr. I as soon as we're in communications range," Katherine notes. "He can get some of the groundwork laid before we make it back."
"It may be wise to transfer him to the ship before we depart to Ymir, as I feel he'll be of great help in future councils. I'd have preferred the younger members -- me included -- learn on our own but I think Luk'thu-hem showed us just how much distance is between us. We can't afford to ignore resources out of pride." She looks to Katie now and asks, "Would that be alright? Having them on board?"
"Teasing the spider out of his web you mean?" Katherine asks. "It depends. If you want security personnel he'll want to be directly involved, I'm sure. He may have a candidate list on hand. I suspect it's one of his hobbies."
"I am already impressed. And Liza is leaving us, so I'm sure he also has my hair styles in mind." Tasha settles back, dropping her hands in her lap. "We'll need to ensure he has proper facilities on board, as well, to keep in contact with his network. And we'll need security personnel. Lacci," she glances at the woman now, " ... do you think Shojo has interests in joining the security forces? I know he feels he's only here because I took pity on him."
"He has an intimidating presence," Lacci says, "And from what he's told me, he does know hand-to-hand combat. How to fight Terrans, Silent-Ones, Vartans and Confederates."
"He does have an economy of motion that you don't easily get from training reflexes," Katie agrees.
"I just hope he doesn't feel like I'm taking pity on him again, if I assign him that way. I imagien he'll find it more rewarding than cooking, however, especially given my less-than-intimidating self. I'm just not able to stand on the front line anymore, not," here Tasha frowns, " ... that I was ever so good at it. Maybe I just thought I was?"
"We will want one of our own inside the security detail regardless," Katie points out. "Especially someone who is unflappable in the face of... our usual weirdness."
"An unflappable Vartan. Aaron would make a joke about that." Tasha grins at the idea. "We should ask Yue for additional instructions for our own training. I propose we immediately begin work on training for crew considered for special duties. For the four of us, that means magic, but also we should train with Yue for our own protection, both unarmed and armed. There may be additional duties we should also attend. I'll forward Gabriel a copy of the idea after I've written one up. Katie, I'd like you also to submit your ideas, as per our roles."
"I can help train Hakeber," Katie offers. "I'm probably better at training a Karnor than a tiny human would be. It's harder for us to look harmless."
"I was very good at looking soft and squishy," Hakeber counters. "Everyone wanted to pet me at the pizza place."
"I'll take on the tiny Human then, I do have special Human experience." Tasha lays a hand over her heart. Special human experience. "And perhaps train with Shojo and Lacci as well."
"Wait.. I have to train for combat?" Lacci asks. "If I were any good I wouldn't have become an historian!"
"She's just like me, just not as cuddly or cute," Hakeber says. "And more boring."
"Oh come now, if Hakeber will train you can't have it any worse, Lacci." Tasha leans over to prod the Vartan, "And it's for your protection. I would hope my lesson impressed upon everyone here what can happen when we're alone."
"And you can't go wearing armor everywhere," Katherine points out. "You don't have to get as hard as Shojo, but Tasha was could have knocked you out when you first met, even if you had your armor on. It's time for a new sort of armor."
"Subdermal nanoweave?" Lacci asks. "That itches."
"No.. the armor of learning how to take a hit, avoid being hit, and noticing when someone wants to hit you," Katie explains. "Yes, Vartan can learn how to dodge! I've seen it."
"I think Katie means preparation, training, and ability. That sort of armor," Tasha notes, leaning back. "We're both aware of your naiveté, and I don't think it's a secret to anyone else on board either. Consider this a chance to help rid yourself of some of it."
"Ah!" Hakeber says, and then hugs Tasha! "I bet that wasn't even a Nora-word! I'm so proud!"
Tasha yelps at the sudden hugging, her expression -- with those larger eyes -- is very surprised indeed. But she does hug back a moment later, even scooting closer to sling her arm around Hakeber's shoulders. "I have had a lot of small people with big words to influence me."
Lacci's cheek feathers puff out a bit. "I suppose I can try," she says, sounding uncertain. "No weapons though, I assume?"
"Oh, there will be weapons, but not obvious ones," Katie claims.
"You
"You'll be required to have an implanted tail laser," Tasha insists with a perfectly straight face.
"Weapons have to be obvious though, according to the Rules of Combat," Lacci claims.
"This may surprise you -- and everyone here hold on to the table if you feel shocked -- but sometimes we don't obey the rules," the red woman notes. She then leans back and spreads her hands, up to the heavens, "And I, who the gods have chosen, am above the rules." Her hands drop and so does her head, she sticks out her tongue.
"We aren't going into combat, and Galactics have no idea of the uses their most common technology has," Katie claims. "I come from a world that used chemical batteries to store power. They had to be replaced or recharged, and had limited lifetimes and low power density." She picks up a tablet and waves it about. "This thing here? It uses a quantum battery that recharges itself as it's being used and holds a charge for thousands of years. I can turn this into something that could knock someone out with a touch."
"Battery?" Lacci asks, looking a bit blank. "Oh.. the power cell.. but that's.. a power cell.. you can't.." she starts to say, then just holds her beak open for a moment before closing it. "Terrans all think like criminals," she realizes.
"But what is crime but disobeying someone else's rules? And does that someone else have your best intentions in mind, or theirs?" Tasha notes. She holds up a finger. "My world has magic, and we had Galactic technology. Yet by my generation, only the the most secret circles of power even realized we came from another world, let alone there were other star systems. We were kept ignorant. We don't even have the basic medicine Katie's world has, and life times are often less than fifty years. Sometimes much less. I used animals to power our vessel."
"How can you get power out of animals.. other than.. you know.. eating them?" Lacci asks. "Was it Confederate biotechnology then, like the Tadpole?"
"Like this." Tasha puts her own tablet on the table top, then pushes it around with her finger. "Except larger and more lizardly. Flying reptiles, pulling a ship held aloft by hydrogen. Yes," she adds, quickly holding up a finger, "they had a habit of exploding."
Lacci looks at Tasha, then Hakeber and Katie. "You aren't pulling my feathers, are you," she realizes. "It was easier to believe the magic stuff."
"Rather than disbelief, focus on what it means. There are more uses to a thing than what someone tells you, there are usually alternatives, obtaining an effect is the key and not how it's obtained unless that causes problems, and governments and people can manipulate other people to empower themselves," Tasha insists. She then looks to Hakeber and raises her eyebrows; see, I learn.
"Mainly, you'll need to learn your civilization's blind spots so you can exploit them," Katie says. "Yue is probably a good one to give lessons in how to do that. I'm a bit old-fashioned."
"I think I may be even older fashioned," Tasha admits, "I used to think Katie's world was very technologically advanced. To people from my world, it is. At least, on the surface."
"It's an advantage out here," Katie claims. "I was stunned when it turned out everything you use is pretty much made as a single piece. I don't think you have a concept of assembling things anymore, which means you don't think of a group of people carrying innocuous parts that can be assembled into something dangerous once they're past any security measures. I can see why the Silent-Ones and Confederates don't bother with the Library. They must think it makes people complacent to the point of stupidity."
"That's not fair, you have been working on the Grunt and that is not one piece," Lacci points out.
"Modo says that suit is a thousand years old," Katie retorts.
"A thousand years isn't a long time Galactically, but that it's still functional suggests something more to the design," Tasha adds. She folds her hands on the table and lays her head on them. "If it makes you feel better Lacci, if you had come to my world I'd have thought your tablet was magic. A Khattan from outside reached Sinai and I chose to kill him because I feared what his knowledge could do if he were allowed to run lose."
"But.. Khattans aren't fighters," Lacci gasps. "Couldn't you have just.. kept him out of the way?"
"He was implanted with a wide variety of armoring and likely would have had weaponry if such a thing could function on my homeworld. He had intendd to seize the second Magi Titan, which had been augmented with Sifran technology -- wizardry -- and use it to conqueror our home star system. From there, Khattan forces would exploit the resources as they saw fit. As someone who piloted the Balthasar, I can attest to its potential, and because modern weaponry does not work while Sifran Wizardry does, it would have been like fighting a sanctioned war where one side used swords and the other orbital bombardments." Her head shakes. "To say nothing of all his knowledge and training as a agent, He was trained to exploit our world. It's a wonder we even found him, but I suspect he'd abandoned his cause for personal desires by that point. He'd been enslaving sentients for his own use and using Sifran technology to view ... something. I still don't know what that machine was supposed to show the viewer."
"Sifran technology is made for Sifrans," Thoth points out.
"But it doesn't do.. anything," Lacci claims. "Except for Outpost Caltrop. The rest is just weird looking artwork.. out here. Very expensive artwork."
"That doesn't mean we can kludge it in to something useful. More than one use, as Katie was saying." Tasha taps the side of her head, but then raises her eyebrows. "And that isn't entirely true. They have servitor species, a kind of Client, that operate their worlds for reasons we don't know. They replace these beings every cycle with being compatible with their technologies. If the chair had been made for a Sifra, then Sifra are humanoid."
Tasha then turns to Lacci and explains, "It is only dormant. In the previous cycle, the Sifra almost annihilated the previous Galactics. They Sifra seem to be currently occupied, and they are also the ones who bound the Ogdoad -- the Ogdru-hem's masters. I have been informed other agents are working against the Sifra and I have no further part in the matter."
"You mean they're still around?" Lacci asks. "And they're the cause of the Fall of the First Ones?"
"And the Old Ones," Tasha confirms, nodding slowly. She walks her right hand across the table, on the fingers. "How they did it remains a mystery, but we suspect they used their wizardry and technology nodes to sabotage high technology and turn it against civilizations. We can assume they knew their own technology, so their upper limit would be similar to deities and other advanced wizards. We believe they're around but pre-occupied, having suffered considerably in a war with Thoth's people. The Vril-ya saw the devestation and attacked the Sifra, later uplifting many current Galactic civilizations, as you know."
"Yeah but hearing it out loud, after what we've all seen.." Lacci says, and closes her eyes. "I suppose I just wanted to think the worst was done with, that nothing could be scarier than what happened in the battleship graveyard."
"Remember that we are alive and they are not. Not Luk'thu-hem, not those old Galactics. We succeeded where they failed. The Vril-ya, despite their lack of understanding, were able to beat back to Sifra. Some old Galactic survived, despite the Sifra's best efforts. We, small beings, have defeated a number of great and old powers. In a sense, we are worse than they are." Tasha spreads her hands. "And if they feel fear at all, they must now. The Sifra may die. The Ogdoad can be defeated. And we aren't alone." The hands fall to gesture to Samael and Thoth, then she points up, "Not in this universe or others."
"Your allies are also horrific demon gods," Samael notes. "Don't forget that part."
"I never do. And you're a amobea-like universe created from cosmic horror yourself. Thoth's fire in a bird suit. Little Charon almost destroyed the universe by accident." Tasha rubs her nose, head tilting. "Sometimes it all seems a little pointless in hindsight, doesn't it? It's no wonder Charon was so inviting."
"Well, you do like Titanians too," Hakeber points out. "And they beat the Galactics all the time.. using.. junk. Or stuff that looks like junk. And it helps us that the Ogdru-hem sorta stay put anchored to locations."
"Oh, there are some that are as mobile and tricky as Samael," Thoth claims.
"Oh right, I forgot how fun it is to beat things up." Tasha perks immediately. "And making things with junk." She flicks her gaze to Thoth and nods. "I've been warned repeatedly lately they're not all station-like entities prone to monologues and fights with whatever happens to be nearby. There may well be a spirit of intelligence, or cunning, or some other memeticly tricky existence."
"Sloth too, but that one is probably still on the world I saw it on a million years ago," Samael says, and looks to Thoth. "You must have been keeping track of some of them I assume?"
"The universe is large, and the Ogdru-hem's numbers are finite," Thoth notes. "Do you think I have the means to track down every reference to mythological monsters?"
"Sloth sounds like the easiest one, until I think maybe it could induce sloth in everything near it." Tasha wrinkles her nose, but also looks at Thoth with interest.
"Does someone have that means?" Tasha perks her ears. "If only we could ask the Sifra, but approaching them is not advised. The Library worlds maybe. The Wizards." The young woman glances at Samael now. "Don't the Wizards work for your boss? Wouldn't they know, or did they all decide working for the cosmic manifestation of insanity wasn't a reliable source of employment?"
"The Wizards are.. odd beings," Samael notes. "Turning on their creator is not unheard of: Fessus imprisoned me after all, and we were supposedly on the same side. But being untrustworthy is consistent with our line."
"I suppose cosmic madness isn't the best at choosing trustworthy talent, though I would imagine if you're cosmic insanity you have to realize your limitations and work with what you've got." Tasha taps the side of her cheek, thinking. "We all have our weaknesses. It's hard to think of Shadow-beings getting along well enough to form their own court, I don't think I've ever met one dedicated to Order that wasn't out to get me. That also makes me wonder ... " Here Tasha turns to Thoth, then Samael, then looks between them, uncertain which might know, "If Samael's a manifestation of cosmic horror, then where's the manifestation of comic peace, love, and comfort? I used to think that was the Vril-ya, but I don't think so now. It's conspicuously absent among all these beings."
"They exist, they're just not as proactive," Samael says, "And they suffer from being fractured. Those these aren't exactly consistent, and even those that espouse them can fall into internecine conflict over interpretation or details. The Tanda find comfort in devouring people, for instance. Even the concept of love is steeped in cultural context, where it exists as a concept at all beyond the biological."
"That does make things very tricky. So there's no universal manifestation of love and such, just as horror is split and multi-faceted. It really means whatever we fight for, it's really just about us, isn't it?" Tasha wrinkles her nose. "I had hoped to obtain some victory for all of this universe and bring people together, or at least make them happier somehow. I see why the Waymakers create their own universes, maybe the answer can't be found? You have to make the answer."
"Peace does exist as a universal though," Samael offers. "It's just that you have to be dead. So I'm sorry that that isn't very useful. But by that standard, warfare does generate a lot of peace as a byproduct."
"Sticking to what we want is going to be easier," Katie agrees.
"But I am dead! Undead. Re-... alive?" Tasha lets her elbows slide down and her head and hands go down with them. "So the answer was Charon. I think someone tricked me." She huffs, then slides her drink over so it's close to her head but she can't actually drink it like this. "Well at least I can stick to what we want: To not be eaten by Ogdoad, to work towards our own goals, to stay alive, and maybe when we're done I'll ask Persephone about making a universe."
"Isn't she also the Queen of Hell, according to Charon?" Hakeber asks. "That's how she was able to put your soul back together right?"
"She's very nice for the Queen of Hell," Tasha says primly. "Don't speak ill of Persephone. Maybe I should have worked for her, maybe she needed some cute and dangerous lycosomes to do ... something."
"When powerful beings claim they need the help of a mortal to do something, it's usually so they can claim plausible deniability," Thoth claims.
"Besides 'mythology is what you make of it'. I think that means I can call myself the Queen of Magic and rule over a planet and it's OK." Tasha raises a brow. "I can also be implausible admittable, if that's what they need."
"The core of magic is getting them to do favors for you at minimal cost," Thoth reminds. "While pledging yourself to a powerful being can let you accomplish much, the cost is extremely high."
"My soul? Didn't she already have that? Most of my soul was cuddled up to her legs when I saw it separately, which is probably the part that's talking now." Tasha looks up and considers that. probably. "It's probably why I never saw Charon before I left, she was trying to get me to not be attached. Well, I suppose I can try being sensible and conservative this time."
"Oh, one soul does not get you as much as you might think," Samael says. "You really want to focus on things that might just cost you a bit of blood, or memetic essence."
"I see now why the mages always seemed to over worked and under slept," Tasha notes. She sits up, looks around, then waves her hands in a shooing motion. "Okay we're done. We should work on what we discussed and get it before Gabriel. We have some time before we get back, so lets make the most of it."