The crew and passengers of Dark Horse perk up a bit once communications with civilization have been reestablished. Although the Professor and his entourage had to hunker down and get their stories straight before responding to anything, that was the last immediate reminder of what they've all been through. The return to Outpost Caltrop was in sight, even if Kaa couldn't give an exact time of arrival. "Less than t-ten d-days!" the high-spirited pilot promised.
"It may possible to directly manipulate reality from within reality," Thoth answers Tasha when put to the question. "Transcendence should allow for that, in theory. Both the Niss and the Tadpole seem capable of this, although likely through very different means. Psionics are not well understood, beyond the crudest manipulations. Although exposing a mind directly to spatial deformations has had interesting if fatal results in the past."
"And Transcendence uses unusual mental states induced by drugs," Tasha muses, tapping a finger to her muzzle as she its across from Thoth. "According to the Titanians and others -- including the Niss themselves -- they are a type of quantum computer using simultaneous, unified thought. The pressure of their combined will is what allows them to warp and manipulate reality within a certain range of their sphere. The Confederate biologicals use a similar array of powerful, directed minds. The difference seems to be amount versus special mindset. Sheer focus can cause changes, but Transcendence, which causes unusual mental states, can, too. And we know it's not using sheer volume ... Unless it is, of course." Her brow quirks.
"It may be both," Thoth offers. "There is a computational limit, however. In order to simulate the universe, you need the computational power of the universe. Computational spacetime is possible though. I am fairly certain that the Sifran crystals are a variant of this. The Waybuilders use timestone, which is also repurposed spacetime. Beings like Samael are essentially the same thing, but with lower informational density."
"I thought he might be," Tasha agrees. "Though, ... " And here Tasha bites her lip, " ... my knowledge of how space-time works from a scientific standpoint is lacking. I don't know if you're aware of this but I started my journey as a drover on a planet at the medieval to Renaissance level of technology, and I was not from a high ranking family. My knowledge is piecemeal and gathered partly from experience and partly from an emergency memory transfer by a four-thousand year old hulk."
"Your disadvantage is minor in scale," Thoth claims. "The mathematics of quantum fields are incredibly dense and difficult to comprehend even for those who spend their lifetimes studying the equations. Most of the technology that teases information from them is out of the Library, such as the quantum resonance scan and the neutrino sensors of deep-radar."
Tasha nods slowly, ears flicking. "Does all fo space-time need to be simulated in order to create local effects, though? This Niss have a range that, cosmically speaking, is vanishingly small, but within that radius their influence seems to be considerable. The Waymakers and the bio-constructs also influence relatively small areas, though the Waymakers can generate universes as well as harness them. For our purpose, would it be possible for one or more of us to create very small-scale events?"
"That would depend on the smallness of scale," Thoth notes, and looks thoughtful for a moment, in that his eyes stop making tiny noises. "It really comes down to effecting the right event at the right time to create a desired outcome. For now, consider the Tadpole. It can do one thing very well: move itself through space. It's senses and neurological system are focused on achieving that one outcome. So we can infer that it is possible to create one specifically desired outcome with the proper mental mechanics. Dr. Sen can get a sense of what someone is feeling on a purely mental level, without relying on biometric cues, but cannot expand that into mind-reading, telepathy or any other psionic effect. But she is accomplishing this with what is presumably a standard brain."
"A highly refined but standard brain," Tasha agrees. She then sits back and folds her arms, head tilting as she stares off in to space and thinks. "For myself, my advantage is my ability to sense the Shadows. Combining a magical effect with that ability to sense seems like an advantage. That the spore is on my forehead, as was the leviathan's horn, seems like the kind of not-coincidence Persephone would set up to make me think things through on my own. And I had an idea," she brushes her hair aside and puts a finger on her forehead, " ... that it looks awfully like the black sun of Alchemy. Maybe she's hinting at something."
Thoth presses his thumb to the mark and attempts to rub it off. "It doesn't wipe off," he notes. "But it is also a passive sense, is it not? Much like Dr. Sen's. From this we may be able to determine what the link is. You both have standard brains. Neither of your abilities are genetic or evolutionary traits. Yours is from an external source that has been integrated into you at deeper than biological level. The same may be the case for Dr. Sen." He holds up a finger. "Both are similar to quantum resonance effects. The Tadpole is a creature born to survive in space, created by a parent that herself can manipulate space. Perhaps we should be looking at birds."
"Birds?" Tasha perks her ears. "We can get Lacci. There was also a bird fragment of me when I was ... split. Charon named it but I was too distracted to pay much of attention. Well, the Human me was. The other mes were sleeping."
"I don't know if a Vartan would fit this example," Thoth says. "It is a quirk of Terran creatures. Many species depend on being able to navigate over large distances. The greatest examples are the migratory birds. After much study, it was found that they possess impurities in their brains: grains of a mineral known as magnetite. Their brains could use these to discern the direction of the planetary magnetic field. But they are not biological elements. The neurons somehow developed a means of using them. Even Humans can have this, and it may be more prevalent in Belters."
"And so my mind is utilizing the impurities of the spore somehow," Tasha says, nodding. "Sensing their ebb and flow and reacting. Well, that's useful for sensing but I'm not sure how much use it'll be for magic. It's too specialized."
"But it points to a possible commonality," Thoth suggests. "The impurity is not a mineral or other physical element. It is a spatial impurity. It is possible for forms of spacetime to exist that are manipulated by natural processes, even organic ones. They may occur randomly, or are quite common and undetectable but the ability for a brain to interact with them is rare."
"I see. So we test for the ability to interact with rare spacetimes. I wouldn't know where to begin, but I feel like our guests would. It might be possible to place one of us where we can be monitored and subject to trials." The young woman scrunches up her muzzle. "If memetics and Colors are strange space-times, there's that. If not, I thought that maybe we're seeing something similar. Not space-time of this reality, but intersections of other-reality elements. Just because we can't perceive them doens't mean they can't perceive and influence us. The spore is of this time, though made physical somehow by Sifran works. Translated. But it still functions, if maybe at a reduced level?"
"That presumes that we know what its function was," Thoth admits. "We know what Persephone decided to integrate, which so far interacts with your vision. We have seen that this of integration does not happen on it its own: your crewmates have not gained abilities from ingesting 'pieces' of Samael, nor has he gained control over them. The latter possibility does imply some sort of integration, which requires deliberate guidance."
"The problem is that Persephone admitted to knowing very little of Shadow beings, that they do not interact with them or converse with them, and that even she was not certain what its original purpose was or how it worked. Spores like this are intended to take over the host on death, which was the terms of my deal with the Source, but for all I know it's defunct and ceased operation after the agreement was completed." Tasha peers at the glossy table, seeing her own reflection and touching her forehead again. "It allowed me to speak to the Niss and others. It might be the Source thought I would need this, but it never allowed me to sense them. How Persephone managed this -- if she did -- puzzles me."
"Well, you did die," Thoth notes. "It may be the reason you could be reconstituted. Did Persephone mention that she had done this sort of thing before?"
"Her choice of name heavily implies some sort of interest or fascination with the deceased," Tasa notes, looking up. "As does Charon. "Ferryman of the dead," "Queen of the dead." Did you notice all the animals? Some said that some of them looked like they were from old Terra. Persephone's mate might style himself Hades, Lord of the Dead. That's a lot of focus on death for beings who have the influence they do. Maybe it's their ... Job? Interest? Hobby?"
"But no, not specifically. Charon said his mother had 'more experience with souls' than he did, however," Tasha adds, brows rising and eyes widening. "I don't know if it's a common trait of Waymakers to be able to manipulate souls."
"The mythology of Persephone relates to the origin of the seasons on Terra," Thoth explains. "She was the daughter of Demeter the earth goddess, and was responsible for making the plants grow. She was abducted by Hades, and made to marry him in the underworld. But while she was gone, the plants all began to die. So it was agreed that she would split the year, spending one half above so that life could flourish, and the other half below with her husband, which became the season of winter."
"So, she is both the Queen of Hell, and the source of life."
"That's an interesting story to name yourself after," Tasha agrees. She leans forward and taps a nail to the table. "Do you think another Waybuilder forced her to 'marry' him? Neither of them mentioned Charon's father, only female relatives, both of whom are even more concerning than Charon and Persephone. I've met one other Waymaker -- Leviathan -- and he clearly didn't follow the name-yourself-after-death-gods theme, so it feels like this is a kind of specialization. Maybe focus helps them manifest their abilities? I do know her universe has no sentient life -- I thought maybe she created none, but maybe now that's because it's all dead."
"Leviathan is the name of an apocalyptic sea monster," Thoth notes, straight faced. It's the only expression he has. "I could not speculate on the courtship rites of the Waymakers."
"Maybe I'll ask next time." Tasha taps her chin, thinking, and nods again. "Well, I think it's safe to say she has expertise above her son, and maybe above that of other Waymakers. She did mention repeatedly that she wasn't sure what the spore did and asked if I found it useful. Maybe she wanted to help, but I was an interesting science experiment for her as well? I've seen that look on Terragens scientists." Too often she has, in fact.
"Well, there is merit in thinking she would like to play with a toy that she herself did not create," Thoth entertains. "It is also possible that the spore decided for itself. Just because it was not sentient does not mean it was incapable of decision making."
"That is so. It seemed like an automated system, if the Shadow-beings could be said to created such. And Persephone seems like she might be curious and very witty, but then that might apply to them all. It's very hard to gauge the true personality of beings whose minds operate at the speed of causality. What we can be sure of is that whatever she did she had the time and means to consider it very carefully, and the foresight to plan extensively and in to the future. Futures." And so Tasha gives a little shrug. "None of that helps us much with the matter of magical application."
"We advanced beings are known for our playful wit," Thoth claims in his usual monotone. "I think an avenue of investigation may be looking into those anecdotal incidents of people exposed to overspace shunts. Such events likely would have occurred during the development of the Silent-Ones stargate."
"I also know of a man who was rescued from deep D-Space by the Waymakers, a person who has extensive experience traveling D-Space and understanding that dimensional state. He may know something. It's very likely he's not from our time or even timeline," Tasha suggests. Then she picks up her data pad and plugs in Thoth's search suggestion, letting the database populate answers while they talk, "What happened with the gates? Engineering faults creating overspace exposure?"
"There would have been experiments and accidents," Thoth says. "Nobody bootstraps faster than light travel without accidents."
"Would any other form of light speed travel accident be worth investigating?" Tasha glances up from her pad. "D-Space accidents?"
"Hyperspace drives use quantum effects, and does not manipulate space itself," Thoth says. "The same is true of the Terran drive. The Celestials and Silent-Ones make use of the same technology, but where the Naga wrap space around their ships, the Silent-Ones chose to warp the space between two points. So in effect, their engines are stationary and allow for any number of vessels to pass through them. Since the latter involves, at some point, sticking one's head into a region of warped space, theirs would seem the one to investigate."
"Maybe the Niss can dig up some information. They were able to access the Library through Caltrop and they're the best specialists that I know of. That is, if the research information isn't public knowledge." Tasha takes a sip of her fruity, but not alcoholic, beverage and tilts her head. "I wouldn't think they'd wnat their failures and secret advantages recorded in the Library so it may require special access."
"The Silent-Ones do not use the Library," Thoth says. "If information about the development of their stargate - intimate information, one could say in this case - were to be found there it could be very messy."
"Like the Terragens drive. It really does surprise me that no one has figured out their drive methods yet -- or maybe that have but could never admit it or use it?" Tasha arches a brow; what do you think of that? "Either way we'll have to ask for it or, well, steal it."
"Just as the Vartans have their exiles, so too can one find Silent-Ones living outside of the jurisdiction of their government and religion," Thoth points out.
"But ones with advanced knowledge of a special sub-set of gateway construction? Would such a person even be safe to approach? Their government would want them, and they would want to remain safe. Or they might still be with their government like the Phins 'rebels'." Tasha turns her head from side to side. "It'd be like Dr. Moreau all over again." She then blinks, eyes widening. "Oh speaking of Phins, Gabriel said he thought if I had gotten stuck a Phin, I'd be all right. Samael said it's necessary to attain the mindset of something you want to be. Phins have unusual senses and connections. Would that be a useful avenue for Transcendence?"
"Dolphins are more used to thinking in three and four dimensions," Thoth notes. "And they are never fully asleep, since they are voluntary breathers. If both hemispheres for a dolphin's brain were to lose consciousness, they would drown. They can never safely get inebriated."
Tasha's ears go askew. "So can I interpret that as support or disapproval of such a plan?"
"Phins can never turn off their minds, but also are subject to a unique state of consciousness where one half is awake and the other half is dreaming," Thoth says. "It is akin to an altered state of awareness from your perspective."
"So being a Phin is an option." Tasha nods, as if it were so easy. She then gestures towards the exit and notes, "There's also the Melchior. Paired with the AI it might be possible to simulate states, or utilize his mind to aid my own. We can cover each other's weakness."
"I'm uncertain how your mental states are managed within the modified Magi," Thoth notes, and looks in the direction of the hangar. "But the states need to occur within your brain. AI, no matter how advanced, can tip over into insanity if forced into biological mindsets for too long."
"Then we can offload the mathmatics to Mel and use me to necessary parts. By dividing things between us, maybe we can accomplish what neither of alone can. The Magi were designed to create and channel Vril, right? So they're already partially arranged for magical use. Maybe Horus will assist if he's feeling teachy." And so Tasha shrugs; it could go either way.
Thoth's eyes whirr at the mention of Horus. "A case in point. Prolonged exposure to biological thinking caused.. not insanity, but a breakdown of ordered thinking.. within the Vril-ya."
"'This has never happened before,' 'How I change,'" Tasha eccos, the word of Atum. She then brings her feathered, all-too-human hands together and taps the fingers together. "Wasn't change the point? The Vril-ya desired to know more about biological thinking." She watches Thoth for a long moment. "You don't approve of him do you?"
"He was reckless, and incapable of seeking a better solution to his problem," Thoth says. "Instead, he helped to create me, and thus transfer the burden. He chose which parts of him would be used to make me. And those parts contained that which he could not bare, such as his self-loathing."
"You yourself were created not for the sake of new life, but out of a sense of guilt, were you not?" Thoth then asks.
"So you're ... filled with self-loathing? Or you loathe him?" Tasha would normally order her conversational partner a drink at this point, but she's not exactly sure what beings of a fire-like energy might drink. "I was created in the very unlikely chance I would fulfill a mission. Unless you mean by Persephone, then I would think it's gratitude."
"I loathe him," Thoth clarifies.
"And I was referring to your initial creation," Thoth says.
"Well I do not loathe him or my creator. I'm not saying Nora -- or what Nora became or manifested -- isn't guilty, but I know first hand how you can love or fear so strongly you'll do anything to protect what you care about, even attacking yourself. Both Nora and I are driven people with strong loyalty and dedication. Horus is, as well. Not being able to live up to the lofty goal of protection, not being to overcome a universe of danger, is not something we forgive ourselves for. And Horus, he failed not only his duty to the Vril-ya, but failed his Vartans as well. he could not have done otherwise." And so Tasha spreads her hands. "The Cards were stacked against him. So he punishes himself where he can't punish the universe, for not being invincible. Nora did it too. I do it. It's the cost of caring. I don't know how the other Vril-ya avoided this state of failure -- or why Horus is opposed so strongly -- but I suspect the answer is in his refusal. From what I know of him, I suspect Vartans had been intended to have their souls used as weapons -- maybe that is why some of them show a resistance as Shojo does. Poisoned souls to choke the Shadow. He refused. I have also refused."
"Except that you did use such a weapon, once it was already loaded," Thoth points out. "I do not believe Horus could have done that."
"He spoke to me about it. He has never grabbed my attention and intervened so quickly or so intensely since he saved my life back on Abaddon," Tasha notes, her turn to hold up a finger, "Which means it is a matter terribly important to him. If I take the pieces I see that there is some connection. And yes I did use it, but it's not using it that Horus fears. It's loading it, and what happens after. Firing is of much less concern."
"An interesting perspective," Thoth says, "given that there is no ideal action by that point."
"I chose the path I believed was safest and kindest to those involved while also seeking to deny the Galactics weapons they might use against each other. The souls were lost; I put them to rest as best I could. The Fleet was possessed of terrible weapons that if found would tip the balance of power towards whomever found them. And, the Ogdru-hem's drones remained active. The price had already been paid and the point of concern I understood and knew of was past. I didn't know how greatly the weapon would damage the universe, just as I didn't know with Charon." And so Tasha runs her fingers across the table. "I may not be a good leader, but I try to take the burden of these choices so others don't have to bear the burden."
"The lesser of two evils is never very much lesser in practice," Thoth admits. "I have avoided such things as much as possible. Out of a legitimate apprehension that it would break me as it did Horus."
"Not choosing is also a choice. It is the choice to do nothing, to abstain, or to turn a blind eye." Tasha thumbs towards aft, towards the way they'd come. "If I had ignored the weapon someone else would have found it and everything else. Was it the best choice? No, I probably should have called the Titanians and consulted with them. But I didn't think they could reach us and we were all fatigued. Making everyone languish out there for weeks or months waiting would have been a mistake. So, I chose. What I loathe is the universe for forcing these choices upon us. Maybe Horus should loathe it too, instead of himself."
"The problem with the Vril-ya is that they lack the imagination to rationalize unpleasant choices," Thoth claims. "Rationalization is a basic part of evolved sapient life, however. It is what allows you to make choices that would otherwise crush your spirit to contemplate."
"I don't know, the chocies still do a lot of spirit-crushing. I didn't run off and get killed just because a cute little dragon asked me to. I, too, was feeling guilty and full of self-loathing. I had believed I'd dragged good people to their death, that I endangered them through my connection with Hastur, and that I was pursuing some addiction where I couldn't stop or risk losing what made me matter. Rationalization is only so durable." Tasha chews her lip, takes another long sip of her mixed fruit drink, and then gives a little shrug. "I think Horus is learning though. But, I agree it's a weakness. The Cill and Marduk also fell to it."
"Perhaps," Thoth says. "Until we find them, we cannot be certain."
"That is what the records from the other Vril-ya suggest. You still intend to locate them? In the Void?" Tasha asks, ears up again.
"I have learned to verify things," Thoth says. "The Vril-ya may have chosen to ignore alternatives because they were unacceptable at the time."
"Well, that could be. We've found them, and we're just one ship. And admittedly unusual ship, but still: One ship." Tasha smiles wryly, sips and leans back. "Well no need to speculate, we'll find out when we do. As for Horus, you might wish to consider he may be using you to punish himself. If that's so, perhaps it'd be better not to remain in his shadow. He has said similar of me, that I should share 'all his failings.' Yet, he also called me a demon sent to torment him, and a jailer. The Vril-ya have strange thoughts about me, don't you think?"
"Horus is insane by Vril-ya standards, you know," Thoth points out. "But in his defense, you are rather confusing at times. Unless he was actually trying to manipulate you into doing something, which I'm not certain he is capable of."
"I can be difficult," Tasha says in an understanding and self-deprecating tone Thoth may or may not understand as tongue-in-cheek, "Oh and maybe he's trying to get me to destroy him, or give him some way to avenge himself. As far as I'm concerned, he avenged himself by not sacrificing the Vartans. The rest may be failings, but I don't think he's a failure."
"He is a failure though," Thoth claims. "He abandoned the Vartans. He didn't have to. He could have refused the mission and kept on looking after them. But he decided he shouldn't do that anymore, and left their fate up to chance."
"Self-determination?" But Tasha sounds uncertain. "Well, you might be right there. Knowing the other Vril-ya were still in command and the Libraries were in place, it seems like he should have known predation was inevitable, or at least, likely. To turn another wing, the Vartans are still alive and are soon to be free to decide their own fate, assuming the Khattans don't sabotage that somehow. Would they have been more successful under his leadership? Eve's first children did n't seem to survive. I find the Celestials excessively callous. The Humans, left alone, have achieved much."
"Ten thousand years of indentured servitude," is Thoth's answer. "Exposure to Galactic society without any preparation. And the reason they were such prime targets was because they were familiar with warfare, which properly raised civilizations would not be."
Tasha leans back a little at this. "Being familiar with warfare makes the impropr--" She then squints, folds her arms, and swivels her ears forward. "That sounds very Horus to me. His fear, fear he took something beautiful and made it a weapon. He loves them. I see it more clearly now. he loves them and resents what they became over what they could have been. The Cill, the Titanians, and Vartans were the arm of the Vril-ya. But if he's guilty, you're all equally guilty. Horus wasn't alone as a leader there and I doubt he initiated the drive to make soldiers. They were an answer to a fear, weren't they? Of the Ogdoad. the Gods' enemy. Yet the Vril-ya never summoned the Waymakers. Was it a desire to prove yourselves? fear, they'd annihilate us all? Inability?"
"The Waymakers ignore the Vril-ya," Thoth says. "But none of the Vril-ya had jurisdiction over any of the others children. So the Titanians took on the duties of the Vartans, rather than Vulcan attempting to claim the Vartans and mold them. The real threat was not known at the start, but the Vartans were meant to tame the galaxy. Worldbreakers, as they eventually became under the Khattans."
"I see. Not exactly soldiers, but I see the overlap." Tasha taps her muzzle, leaning back again. "Why were the Vartans, Titanians and Cill chosen for special duties? Were the other species not chosen, or did they have special duties of their own?"
"Those were the ones most likely to do what was asked, I believe," Thoth says. "Otherwise, I have no idea how it was decided among the Vril-ya. You would need to find one that is still around and ask."
"Horus might answer. If not, I see no reason why Vulcan wouldn't like talking with me." Tasha twists her muzzle. "Speaking of Progenitors, I had a thought about the Confederates. We don't know who their Progenitor was or if they even had one and their technology and is poorly understood and radically different, so not Library connected, either. Had you considered that their ships -- which everyone assumes they created -- are the original Uplifters? That the reality is the reverse what is commonly believed?"
Thoth's eyes whirr for a moment. "That is quite an interesting notion," he admits. "Whom would you ask, though? A Confederate, or one of their great ships?"
"One of the ships. The Confederates may not know universally, or else it would have probably slipped by now, but the ships are much more likely to be capable of keeping a secret, especially one modern Galactic society wouldn't think to even look for. To not be Library raised, and also to have been created by spacecraft? The ships could be much older than the current Galactics, remnants of a previous era, or eras. If they were in transit, they might have evaded the purge, as the Niss did." Tasha looks down at her drink, taking it in hand and swirling it. "I'll ask the Confederate vessel that frequents Caltrop. I know some of the crew, including Darksight, the extra-temporal Eeee I mentioned."
"Knowing how far back Confederate history goes would be helpful as well," Thoth says. "If your hypothesis is true, then their progenitors may also have been extra-universal as well. It would be useful to ask a Vril-ya about them."
"Then I'll speak with Horus first. The only other Vril-ya even vaguely available to us is Vulcan. If you know of any others that remain active, I can add them to the list." Tasha looks down to take another sip, but finds she drank the last of it seconds before. "My drink is telling me we've talked enough for now. Any more and I'll get," she sits up and drops her voice, but still can't manage to come near Gabriel's voice, " ... "prone to mission bloat" or whatever he called it. I'll make a note in my itinerary to check with him and the ship."
Sometime later, in the Sea Without Lees, Tasha calls out for Horus, and the former god appears before her. He's the size of a normal Vartan this time, which usually means he's in a more sociable frame of mind. "We are still traveling the Maelstrom through flat space," Horus notes, indicating that he can sense some things beyond this virtual space. "Are there any problems?"
"Nothing we know of; Kaa has located some sort of path of acceleration we're traveling in, but we don't know the details of how or why it exists -- and you know how that can go." Tasha arches her brows, then manifests a chair behind herself so she can sit down. "What I actually came to ask about is if you know who the Confederate -- the Eeee, the Aquilans, the others -- Progenitors are. I've been speaking to, and learning from, Thoth, and he finds it my hypothesis they may have been uplifted by their spacecraft interesting enough to warrant exploration. he's also teaching me 'magic'."
"The Confederates keep their secrets close," Horus notes. "Camazotz was to be their Progenitor, but I do not have the memories of how that went. Their earlier spacefaring ships did not have hyperspace capability, but that does not rule out the hypothesis. That leads to the question of where their supposed spacecraft Progenitors came from."
"There are many possibilities. They, like the Niss, could have been in transit and therefore outside the universe. They could be remnant technology, or the product of remnant technology. They could have been manufactured by outsiders to the universe, in the same way the Vril-ya uplifted the others. The Waybuilders are an example of a post-tool society who achieved great things yet are still organic. Perhaps civilizations that take to space fairing as independent ship-like entities are not an uncommon way for organic life to proceed; it seems very effective from every example I've met," Tasha posits.
"Along this line of thought, have you considered the Starseeds?" Horus asks. "They are spacefaring organic beings, which we assume were engineered by the Outsiders at the behest of the Ogdoad. If this were the case, then it is possible the Outsiders created other such beings for their own ends. If they predate the current Galactic epoch, then they would need to have remained hidden very well."
"Yes, that seems possible," Tasha agrees, nodding and resting her hands in her lap, leaning forward. "It's unfortunate our attempt to locate a Star Seed was a failure, even if it provided ... " She hesitates, then unfolds her hands long enough to flick her tail over and tug on it; it tugs back, " ... interesting results. I a have considered simply asking one of their vessels. With my connection to the Waymakers confirmed by the Tadpole, my inquiries should hold a much greater weight than they would have before."
"Only if the Confederate starships assign special status to the Waymakers," Horus points out. "In either case, you have a course of action that can shed light, or not, on the hypothesis. What is Thoth teaching you?"
"The basic introduction to Alchemy, and through Samael, Sorcery. We're still doing meditation lessons, learning to project the right mindset and spirit, but I think we're making progress. Currently I'm working on my foci, my capitol C cards." As she had Mel scan her cards beforehand she can recall them now, feeling they might be of use here in this isolated space. A box appears in her lap, which she opens, producing a blank card with the Dark Horse logo. She turns it in her hand, looking at it considering, "I designed my own Tarot, but I feel it's terribly important I not finish a card without understanding the concept behind it. So, only a very few are finished. Most are in some state of half-completion or idea drafting. The painting takes time as well."
"What is the process of deciding on a concept before expressing it artistically?" Horus asks. "You mention paint, so I assume these are two-dimensional representations."
"Yes, based on a tradition from Terra which may or may not have been created or influenced by Thoth. He has his own deck named after him so I assume some influence happened." Tasha puts the blank card away, then draws a painted one which she lays face-down in her lap. "Experience and exposure are the main elements, followed by accurate understanding. I must feel I grasp the concept through having experienced it in many ways and through variations, enough where I feel confident in my depiction. Some mystery is acceptable; after all, can I really understand something completely? It ends up being a feeling, do I feel I understand it enough, do I have doubts. Will is important to magic, so I must have confidence. I feel like over time I'll understand more and more. Some things I can only understand at a distance, others I can experience directly. Like this one, I've been thinking about this one a lot."
Tasha flips the card. It shows Tasha as she is standing with a upraised flat-tipped sword before an altar or platform, looking down. The raised, one handed alignment of the sword suggests ceremony and importance, her expression is stoic, considering, evaluating; a judge in the matter of judgment. To her left crowds of various beings approach in a line, to her right they are carried away. Her left hand holds a book, as if for reference. The figure beneath her sword is also her, her own version of the sword broken; her expression is contemplative.
The card seems to progress from here clockwise. In the second frame the sword is swung, and the crowds turn to watch; the book is closed and the older Tasha looks up at the new, expression the same mask of focus and intent, perhaps opposition. In the third the old Tasha is beheaded, the new with her sword across the table looking at the viewer, judging and being judged. In the fourth the crowds are gone, the bodies are gone, the platform rests in darkness with the closed book the only remaining impliment, resting on the platform.
The borders are in flowing blood, bones, and roses in various states of life and decay.
Tasha watches Horus expectantly, not unlike her vision on the Card.
"You must be confident in your doubt," Horus repeats, and stares at the card for a long moment before turning his attention back to Tasha's face. "It confuses me. I have never understood art, however. Does each image represents something different or are they meant to be taken as a whole?"
Tasha rests the card where it lay, lifting her hands to entwine her feathered, Human-like fingers. "Each is separate, each is progression of the other, each card a part of the whole, the whole a part of the All." And so she draws another card, which is simply a mirror lacking division in any way. In fact it lacks anything except a border, which may well exist because otherwise it would be nothing but a mirror. The border is a series of lines with a slight zag, suggesting cards piled in an infinite Escher-esque circle. The card is titled, "The All. "The cards progress clockwise through linear time. The previous card is Death, though I've hesitated to finish it. Executioners exist on my home world and wield swords like this, but it was the Tandu who gave me the greater idea. It is a card of change, judgment, endings and beginnings, specifically the transition of death. It is unusual to live beyond this transition, and it's something that has stayed with me. A sense of difference or ... " her head tilts. "Separation? Of standing apart, and inner silence where there had not been before. It's really hard to explain."
"How can you describe what it is to not be conscious, if you must be conscious to observe the state?" Horus supposes. "You are only aware of it by the discontinuity it represents, which allows you to find only the edges of it. Linear progression through time I understand though. It explains the need for multiple images in a set order. Why is The All a mirror? Is it to imply the subjective versus the objective?"
"The all is found in our universe. As I'm a visually oriented being, I thought a mirror was most appropriate. The All has no sections -- no Facets -- because all other Card are its Facets. It is a mirror, because all reality is its face. Reflecting me, or you, or a tree, or a bit of a table, they're all equally expressive of it. It is also how the Cards then connect beyond themselves. The Cards are the Facets of the All, and the All is a mirror of all reality." Tasha brings her thumb and pointer fingers together in a vaguely card-shaped style, interconnected and without end. "I made the Deck broad because the questions and difficulties I deal with are broad. The original was a reflection of the journey of a person through life, and perhaps the search for wisdom. Mine reaches farther to the person, but also to their reality, and to all realities. It is as broad as the multiverse, or at least what I know if it."
"Difficult to represent without multi-dimensional fractals, to be sure," Horus says, and nods. "All journeys, and all ends and all beginnings."
Tasha nods to this. "It is also the Card which is least used if there is something more specific. In the same manner, it may come to play when dealing with something I do not yet know. It is also there as a reminding that all things are connected somehow, and so there may be more than one answer, different paths to take, different ways to look at a problem. It is the box and it is outside it, just as time is linear, except when it is not." Tasha puts the All card away, but lingers on Death. "I have brought death to others and felt its closeness, even gone beyond it. I was created by the remnants of a being who was long dead. The 'Goddess of Death' brought me back, and the Ferryman carried me. I feel then I must understand this Card, and yet I feel that something is missing. Or I am seeing my past incorrectly. Maybe I'll watch the Tandu again?"
"I'm unfamiliar with the Tandu," Horus notes. "Or have forgotten them. I cannot even name all of the Vril-ya of my generation anymore. However, they seem very death oriented from your reference. Do they believe in reincarnation?"
"I'm not sure, I know little of them myself. They're insect-analogue Uplifts attached to the Celestials, Ahriman's lot, used primarily as warriors and, well, cannon fodder, the Abaddonian term. The first time I met them they were holding a ceremony where they blessed their kind, then executed them, so they would die in a state of grace. The second time they attempted to kill Kaa and I in a war zone," Tasha answers, spreading her hands in a shrug. "They're heavily modified both biologically and cybernetically. I pity them, but they may not understand why, care, or even grasp the concept. They seem ill-favored, at least."
"That seems at odds with the spirit of Uplift," Horus claims, and crosses his arms in a sign of disapproval. "It is more akin to domestication."
"I agree with your assessment, No," and here it is Tasha's turn to show disapproval, frowning as she is, "I would say it's more akin to slavery and transformation in to a tool. The other Galactics seem to agree, or at least some do. It's one of my biggest concerns over Clienthood. Is this something Ahriman instilled in the Celestials? They seem less empathetic and more domineering than the others, though that varies from era to era and civilization to civilization. The Silent Ones acted similar for a time on my home world and were summarily enslaved afterwards."
"The Celestials have had to resort to genetic modification of their own species into role-specific specializations," Horus notes. "It should not be surprising that would be willing to do the same to others. It is unclear if the Confederates have been using Uplift outside of Galactic sanctioned methods. If their starships are now sentient beings, are they not Clients? By declaring to have no Clients, they do not have the same stewardship responsibilities or authority over them."
"It seems as though Galactic agreement about rules and relationships is not what it could be," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly, "Which bodes poorly for long term peace, I think? The Elder Galactics -- what the Khattans and Celestials are refereed to as -- have been considered to be contemplating war against their lessers in the long term. It would be very disappointing to have saved the universe only for society to destroy itself, or at least enslave half of what had been."
"The sparsity of civilizations is part of the problem," Horus claims. "The 'First Ones' civilization spanned several galaxies and contained hundreds of thousands of sapient species. No one species could hope to resist the backlash of breaking the rules. This single galaxy has barely recovered, and it is unclear how things have progressed in other regions of it."
"Now I'm tempted to go look for myself, but ... " Tasha flattens her hand and moves it through space, "Travel being what it is and my itinerary already being full with, oh, pan-galactic survival, the mysteries of the Confederates, looking for the home world of the Jokoti, my own civilization and people to consider ... " Her head shakes, at the last most of all, "I'm not sure where I'd find the time."
"The first step is to ensure that these things will persist for long enough to be dealt with," Horus advises. "Then you can deal with not having enough of it."
"And that means dealing with the Ogdru-hem and with my own legacy. There's the others, too, and more besides." Tasha taps her chin, putting her Card away after; the box then vanishes and she rises. "I think that was all I had to discuss. We are soon returned to Galactic space, so at least e can look forward to being away from all of this," she makes a spinning gesture with her right hand, pointer finger up.
"Be careful if you are returning to Outpost Caltrop," Horus warns. "That it still exists means that the Titanians could not dispose of it."
"That it may still be active and monitored by the Sifra has not escaped me," Tasha assures Horus. She then touches her chest lightly with her right hand, takes a half step back, then bows forward while bending her legs. "Until next time, Grandfather."
"I don't think you're a failure," the young woman adds a moment later.
"You have not given me a task to fail at yet," Horus points out before Tasha's awareness is returned to the cockpit of the Melchior.
"Everyone has problems," Tasha says out loud, leaning back. She pats the pilot's chair and sits up. "I'm heading out again Mel. See you soon."
"I hope you are implying that you will visit me soon, as seeing me is something you do from the outside," the AI responds. His humor is.. not improving much.
"Both, Mel. Both." Tasha blows a kiss skyward, which Mel knows to be directed towards him, then she disconnects and makes her way out of the cockpit. At least now that she's more petite getting out isn't quite as tricky as it used to be.
There are clanking noises nearby, where Modo's workshop is set up. Half of the outer armor from the Grunt Suit has been removed. Gabriel has confided in Tasha that he thinks the mechanic has rebuilt the suit multiple times already, and is either doing it to keep himself occupied or because he wants Katie to put it back together herself.
Stretching, Tasha looks around for the ex-starlet, seeing if she might be in attendance. It isn't often she gets down this way and she's thought to leave Katherine to her own -- literal and figurative -- devices given how tense everyone has been along the journey.
So far, she only espies Modo, who seems to be considering a choice between two different dirty jars.
Deciding she'd best not get in the way of engineering -- something she's learned the hard way -- Tasha heads out while doing her best to try to not appear to be sneaking.
That doesn't stop Modo from spinning around to face her. "You can sneak, but the hatch on your Titan is not silent," he points out, then holds out the two canisters. "Stick your fingers in each of these and tell me which one feels slicker," he then requests.
"Wow I haven't had an offer like that in a while," Tasha admits, laughing. She throws up her hands to the universe and walks back to Modo. "Just bear in mind I am the owner of the ship and poisoning me or getting my fur dyed weird colors may incur penalties."
And so Tasha sticks one hand's pointer finger in each.
The left is cold and a bit thick, and the other warms quickly but feels.. odd. It resists movement for a moment, and then becomes very slick when the movement stops.
"I can't compare them directly but one seems to be a statokinetic fluid and the other cold and dense," Tasha reports, then she looks for a hand towel.
"Ah, which is which then?" Modo asks. There are plenty of things that used to be towel, but are now pretty much rags. Modo apparently doesn't like to use materials that are self cleaning.
Tasha, holding her hands away from herself and a bit limp, notes, "The right one is the kinetic fluid and the left is the cold fluid." She locates what she hopes is the least dirty towel and begins wiping her hands off, "How is the Grunt coming along?"
"Oh, I just drained out the hydraulics and vacuum lubricants," Modo says. "I just forgot which was which. I'll have Katherine reapply them. I want to see if she remembers to clean the micropumps first this time."
"Has she been useful to you? Is she learning a lot?" Tasha sits herself down on a stool, because those always seem to be present in any workshop she's been in. "Any ... problems?"
"Oh no, everything is working fine," Modo says. "Your Katherine tends to turn inward too much is all. She needs a problem that she can solve. So I provide them, and the lessons."
"That does sound like the Katie I know. The problem is, " and here Tasha leans in a little, "She can be a little intimidating when she's in a bad mood. Back where I met her she's actually very famous, and at the time, I was not that famous. I'm still a little surprised she decided to come with me. It's difficult me to figure out the problems of people order and more accomplished than I am -- or was."
"Fame sucks," Modo claims. "It's something shiny when you're a kid and feeling powerless, but it makes life hard as an adult. Anything the public eye - and that's just about everything - has to be scripted and sanitized. Because once you're famous, and then you're not, you'll be famous for falling from grace as it where. Which also makes life hard."
"That, um, that does sound a little familiar. Katie must feel it even more than I ever have, I've only been famous for a little while." Tasha , who had been rubbing her fingers clean ever since she got the towel, wills herself to put it aside and sets her hands in her lap, legs swinging. "I guess it's a good thing I stopped chasing after it, even if I did it because I didn't want to 'hog the glory'." She tries very hard not to think of her hog-self, she really does, "Now I mostly work behind the scenes."
"What scenes would those be?" Modo asks, as he eyes a fastener with a slight scowl. "Do you mean the shadow-man is the one who's really in charge then?"
"Oh, you know, the scenes," Tasha answers vaguely, looking around and feeling on the spot, "Just not as up front as I used to be. Then there's moments like our big space whale friends and our decidedly unfriendly world-sized Shadow creature. Not a lot of Galactic society would be happy to learn about those."
"Eh, they wouldn't believe it," Modo claims. "Stuff like that is pumped out by the gigaton, because some folks eat it up like they were starving. Mostly because their lives are too dull I suppose. I'm just a mechanic, don't take my opinion on faith just because I'm handsome."
Looking at Tasha, Modo notes, "You tell people you're Khattan, so everything you do is already suspect."
Tasha chuckles at that. "Well, I meet all kinds." She then looks down at herself, then back over her shoulder. Her tail waves to her. "I suppose the tail is going to only add to that, isn't it. Not that I'm not suspect, but I'm usually suspect for a good reason and for others, which cannot always be said of some of the others I've met. I suppose I'll still have to be Khattan, won't I? "Oh, I'm a one-being species." No safety in the truth?
"It helps if the truth is unbelievable," Modo says, "and the lie is easier to accept. So then there aren't more like you where you come from?"
"I was already a bit of a kludge. Like something hammered together from parts that shouldn't work together. Now ... " Tasha points at herself with her tail, "Now I'm all the parts refined in to something that works, made by the hand of our space whale friends and my own self-imagining. So I'm the only one, until I have children. Then there'll be more of me. Me, because all my daughters will be me, too."
"That sounds like a nightmare, to be honest," Modo says. "I wouldn't want to have to take care of myself as a child. There's a Terran curse, used by mothers: I hope you have children that are just like you were."
"I feel cheered up and more hopeful already," Tasha says with a wry smirk. She sighs, looking down at herself. "Let's hope Persephone sees more in me than that. I can't imagine she'd want to curse me for saving her son."
"Eh, you ever read any mythology?" Modo asks, eyeing Tasha. "The gifts of gods never turn out well in most of them. And those were the ones where the gods were just like regular people with power: jerks."
Tasha considers this, then she perks her ears and points out, "With that logic we're jerks and we should also avoid each other." She sits up a little straighter. "If everyone's a jerk then I don't have to save anyone. I could conqueror Terra! Or destroy it. Or, maybe destroy all of them. Or leave! Go find a better universe. Clearly, no one's worth it anyway." She then leans forward. "I could have you all spaced and and we'd ahve superior rationing. I do have power, you know?"
"And I could snap you in two with little effort," Modo says. "But we're civilized now. But.. Humans were 'civilized' back when they were eating my ancestors. Everything's on a sliding scale, and when you're at the top of it you forget that it keeps going, and where you are now will end up being the bottom after enough time has passed. Mortality keeps us line, I think. All we have is our legacy, and we don't want it to look back and think we were a bunch of selfish assholes. But.. that's always going to be the case, unless things become a lot worse somehow. It works on a personal scale too. I look back my past self and think: that guy was a selfish jerk! I'm much better now! And in ten more years I'll go through it all again. And I reckon it's a good sign."
"Hmm, I don't know," Tasha says, leaning back and folding her arms. "I keep hearing about how gods are just like us and jerks, and the implication is we shouldn't believe in them, but then we shouldn't believe in ourselves, either. And if children are us, but better somehow, then why do societies fail? I've seen worlds that have fallen from civilization, and Galactic civilization bicker. The current one may collapse. But maybe that's the experiment with me: what happens one one person is a civilization and an individual? Would I make something different? What influence would all of me have on, say, a Galactic society?"
Modo shrugs. "Won't know until you get there," he claims. "All I'm saying is if we can look back and think we were naive or selfish, it means we've become more self-aware over time. If you look back at your youth and think you were great and still are great, well.. then you haven't grown I imagine. And I always pictured those old gods being like that. Can't grow if you're a god, can you? So they sound like a bunch of teenagers in the old myths. Petty, selfish, and so on. And when you're immortal, when do you finish growing up? Maybe you just keep going, which means any god you come across isn't the best or smartest or wisest they're going to be. It just seems like that to us."
"Hmm, you are a little depressing," Tasha admits, nodding slowly. "Clearly you do have a ways to go." She then holds up her hand, palm up. "I chose to appreciate them for what they are, just as I appreciate the beings at my level, or below it. I think this fascination with linear increase might be problematical. The idea there is a top. You can possibly increase in power -- options and influence -- but an ideal self? What about idea love, or ideal art? A stratified, hierarchical, stepped evolutionary theory seems like it misses the subjective and the value of concept-states. Is a rainy afternoon filled with smoke and random people not evolved? Would it be better with 'perfect' beings? And what is perfection?" She holds up a finger. "I think this is a conceptual model built on our own societies which are stratified and linear in many ways. But the universe isn't just about us, except that it is."
"Eh, you're reading too much into it," Modo says. "It's not about power, it's about self-awareness through experience. Wisdom is making lots of mistakes and learning from them. It can't be taught, really. So it follows that you are always going to be making mistakes as you age, and hopefully getting wiser from it. Until you start to lose it and get dumber again once you're past a certain point, but that's senescence at work. I assume gods don't have that. But it follows that you can't be perfect and wise then, right?"
"I just mean, what is ultimate wisdom? Isn't wisdom just reacting to things the right way? And isn't that about what we desire?" Tasha taps the side of her muzzle. "If gods are like children, the adults are like ... not-gods. But you need will and desire to change the universe, yet adults seem very restricted. Their desire and will is more suppressed. So the ultimate being is ... a child with great wisdom?" She wrinkles her muzzle. "Maybe wisdom is just achieving what you want with the knowledge to actualize it without mistake or failure witin the limitations of your ability? So you would need the power to actualize wisdom. And the knowledge. "A library has great wisdom and knowledge but no power; it can do nothing by itself and has no desires."" There's more muzzle tapping.
"There ain't no ultimate anything," Modo insists. "You make it sound like a desired goal is something that's fixed. But it's just a point. You don't get there and decide, 'I never have to go beyond this.' Once you reach one thing you immediately start looking for a new goal. So long as you're trying for new things, you'll make mistakes because they're things outside your experience. Wisdom isn't about knowing the answers, it's about developing a method for working out the answers to things you don't know. Or by knowing what the wrong decisions were, to help you figure out what the right one might be. You'll never the best possible decision, because that would mean you have infinite time to come to that decision. Have you had to make a decision where you knew all the possible outcomes and had the time to weigh each one?"
"See, that's why we never were able to make an AI that didn't just lock up after awhile," the mechanic claims. "You need some sort of cutoff or coin-flip or emotional decision to actually decide something. Logic will send you into a never ending fan of possibilities."
"So wisdom relates to desire, and desire is impermanent. Therefore, wisdom is a product of desire as a means to achieve, or keep, something desired. And all desire changes, so what was wise no longer is, in the context of the new desire." Tasha twists her muzzle, bobs her head left and right, "Wisdom is a toolkit to figure out how to achieve something, or to keep what has been achieved, if it is still desired. But perfect wisdom is impossible due to the limitations of time, ability, and resources ... which necessitates more wisdom to address these problems. So 'perfect' wisdom is like ... the speed of causality? Is wisdom limited by mathematical functions and the universe?" She then snaps her fingers, a decidedly un-Karnor thing to do. "The problem is the universe. Sam told me that a dreaming god might be the origin of the universe, which could mean a lot but seems to mean it can't ever sort itself out internally."
"Well I am technically an artificial intelligence," Tasha admits, still locked in thought, "Maybe that's my problem? I'm too logical. No one is ever going to believe that."
"You make decisions? Then you're ultimately depending on an emotional decision in the end, based on past experience," Modo says. "Wisdom, in other words. Wisdom lets you decide without going down infinite logical paths."
"Or, as a shortcut, you use laws and social norms and peer pressure and stuff, because no decision exists in a vacuum either," the ape insists.
"Wisdom is a bit of chaos," Tasha interprets. "This explains a few things about some people I know. Chaos, and logic. Order and chaos. Order from chaos, and chaos to shift order. Either from self or from the other." The young woman nods slowly.
"And then there are the decisions you make when you're drunk," Modo says, raising a leathery finger. "Which defy both logic and wisdom."
"Or in love, or hungry, or in any other physio-emotional state," he adds.
"That's decisions without a lot of power. Of course, when you're drunk the self is compromised ... and a completely compromised self is death? Or stasis." There's more nodding from the teen(?).
"Decisions aren't related to power," Modo notes. "Choices are related to power."
"But a decision without power can't go anywhere. You can decide all you want, but it's little more than fantasy without power." Tasha drops her hand to point at Modo. "And you need power over self to even make them. A being held asleep is powerless, and decisionless. Like a rock. Or the library."
"No, you can decide anything," Modo claims. "A decision isn't the same as an action. You can decide to talk to someone or not, for instance. It effects the other person and the path you both take for the rest of day. There's no power involved. Everything you do and think is a decision. The cats make decisions. And like them, you aren't going to be aware of 99% of them. A perfect being would not have to make decisions about anything."
"Inaction is also a decision, for instance," Modo explains. "Have any regrets about things you chose not to do?"
But Tasha shakes her head. "To express an idea you need the ability to speak. When I say power, I mean ability, or option. People get funny when you talk about power because they're so afraid of the idea, it intimidates a lot of people. Power. It sounds like conquest, or aggression, but it doesn't have to be. It's just the ability to do something. As for a perfect being, wouldn't they have decided to do nothing? They need do nothing, because either things are exactly as they wished, our their power has made them so, unopposed." Tasha waggles a hand out towards the hull, "There are beings who consume universes, reducing will to nothing, all falls under their sway. That is one example. There should also be beings who are more benevolent about it, or at least more uninvolved with us about it." And then she spreads her hands. "Personally I think it's all circular, like the multiverse has a conservation of actualization or something. Power allows desire, and desire requires power. The power to think, then the power to act. Power itself begets desire, creating without will or decision beings who have them. It's what you Terrans might call 'chicken and egg'. Instead of tops and bottoms maybe it's all just circling in on itself like a big hairball." And so she shrugs. "Oh definitely. This wisdom I know. It's why I act. It's why I destroyed that fleet with the old weapon, because I knew inaction could make me more guilty than not."
"So, you've always had the power to pursue your desires, or did you desire something first, then seek out the power to achieve it?" Modo asks.
"That would touch on the matter of fate, which I'm still figuring out. If I said I always had the power, that would mean people who die to disease, or miscarriages, or the Tandu, all decided to suffer, or die, or fail, themselves. It'd be their fault for not figuring out how to cure the disease, or be born, or be a Tandu. But if I desired it then sought out the power, that would mean the power existed to be found, but what of those who sought and didn't find the power? And what about before I was born? Did I will myself to exist somehow, or did power create me without a will? Was it my will or someone else's?" Tasha spreads her hands again. "It's tricky. And I can't assign ultimate blame without an ultimate cause. It creates a lot of decision-making problems."
"There's a different between seeking and finding," Modo says. "Remember the bit about mistakes? Well, failure is a lot more common, and your ability to succeed isn't just up to your own will, but all manner of environmental factors beyond your control. And the power to achieve a desire does not always exist. Don't assume that it does, and you just have to find it. Something things cannot be achieved no matter how much you want it. It's got nothing to do with fate, but a lot to do with circumstance, which masquerades as fate most of the time. Nobody is fated to be born into certain circumstances. And you can't succeed just by wanting it enough. I wanted to move things with my mind when I was a child. Gave myself a lot of headaches before understanding that it wasn't a reasonable desire to work towards, when there were so many reachable things I could be trying for instead."
"I'm not sure I understand the distinction between fate and circumstance. Aren't they the same thing? When I say fate I don't mean there's a will behind it necessarily, it's the willful and non-willful events that lead up to it as a whole, from whatever beginning the universe may or may not have." Tasha then tilts her head. "But maybe there's more to this question than I thought. Maybe we can't answer it because we can't; we lack the understanding. But for me, someone once told me I was a lot like my Titan, created for a purpose. I have wondered some times if I need a purpose, but questions like this confuse me. If I can't achieve it, then what do I do? This must be why AIs lock up. And maybe why Charon appealed to me so much, and why it killed me." She purses her muzzle again, leaving it crunched adn she raps her knuckles against the side of her head.
"The difference is that fate doesn't exist," Modo claims. "Fate means that something is pre-ordained. Now, after I gave up on moving things with my mind, I moved on to something more achievable: Starship Captain. Because I knew that was a position that existed. Then I wanted to be a media star and started a band. Or at least pick up girls. And then a professional wrestler. All the while, in the background, I became a master mechanic because I had a talent for it and enjoyed it. It wasn't my dream, but it happened anyway. Life can be like that. You might discover the thing you really love and are good at is completely different from the thing you thought you would really love and be good at."
"But I was created, wasn't that pre-ordained? I'm pretty sure my created ordained my existence. The only way to know if it's all pre-ordained would be to know the ultimate cause of the universe and if there's a cause-effect relationship. Since neither of us know that we should consider it a goal rather than a definite." Tasha makes an 'ah-ha' expression with her brows, ears wiggling. "And I wanted to be a captain, too. Then I realized I wasn't really an 'alpha' type. Then I was a Titan pilot, which I'm okay at? Maybe? I think I might just be good at getting deific beings to talk to me. Maybe because of how I think about them?"
"Well, you got me to talk to you, so there could be something there," Modo claims. "But just because you were created doesn't make you a robot. We're all created for a purpose: to propagate our genes. That's not all we are, and it still comes down to choices."
"Fate means there's a grand clockwork to the universe, and once you wind it up everything is determined from that point on," Modo says. "So it can't apply just to one person. It has to apply to ever atom in the universe."
"Well until just a few weeks ago I couldn't 'propagate' anything; my kind can't reproduce. Or, well, my old kind. Now I'm like a 3D Tasha-copier." Tasha's grin shows she doesn't mean the self-deprecation. "Hmm, a giant clockwork machine where everything is controlled. Oh, I am the captain of that she. So I did succeed in being a captain!" She claps her hands together.
"Was there a crew?" Modo asks.
"Just me. I know what you're going to say, "I captain has a crew,"" Tasha says this in her best Modo-impression voice, "But I did still have the title, and I get called Captain, so it counts in some ways. Which brings me to another way of doing things: cheating." And she winks.
"Cheating doesn't work with mechanics," Modo points out. "So be careful of things where it won't work. No, I'm deciding to go get a handmeal and tell Katherine she needs to come put this back together."
"She might be lurking nearby listening because she's probably startled by the fact I just sat here talking about philosophy for," Tasha checks her datapad, " ... an hour. It's no wonder Liza looks at me funny these days." She then sucks up a breath and exhales, standing. "I feel hungry and Liza gives me the eyeball when I ask for food, so lets go."
The galley is not empty and Tasha and Modo arrive. Shojo and Aaron have got the complicated coffee maker disassembled and are cleaning the parts. Katie is hovering nearby, looking frustrated by the activity.
Tasha, wearing her mage-on-vacation hooded white cloak, short skirt and cling top arrangement, wanders in with perked ears and raised eyebrows. She notes Katie's expression, having quickly learned to watch her girlfriend's moods, and so arms swinging at her sides, wanders over to her. "Coffee not ready quickly enough? I can have them polish the ship from stem to stern -- with a small brush!"
"What?" Katie barks, jumping in surprise - she was that focused on things. "Coffee? No, they won't let me touch any of it!"
"Everything is laid out precisely so that we can reassemble it correctly," Aaron claims. "It doesn't need any little improvements."
"Shojo is very protective of his kitchen space." Tasha sits down beside Katherine and props her head on a hand. "Speaking of improvements, Modo sent me to fetch you."
"Hmmph, it's a kettle, not a pocket-watch," Modo grunts. "I've seen pocket-watches. No idea why anyone would use one."
"Oh.." Katie says, looking from Tasha to Modo and back a few times before asking, "That is him next to you, isn't it? It's not Sam or a hallucination?"
"I guess he decided to follow me," Tasha says with a shrug. "People often follow me to strange places, don't tell anyone." She slaps the table and leans back. "We'd been talking for an hour or so, anyway. Want me to join you?"
"Another person glaring at them might help," Katie considers. Then she asks, "Why does Modo.." A pause, then she turns to Modo and asks, "Why do you want to see me?"
"All the lubricant fell out of the Grunt, so you need to oil up and wiggle in there again," Modo claims. "And put the rest back together. Don't worry, I didn't lay the parts out all neatly like it was a damned coffee maker."
"Also, I need you to bring me a sandwich," the ape adds.
"Some people are so bossy," nearly everyone's boss insists. Tasha looks over and nods to Shojo. "One sandwich please -- and I'll need to speka to you later, Shojo."
Katie nods, then looks back to Tasha and says, "Back to that joining thing. Which part did you want to join in on?"
Shojo pauses in the cleaning to fetch a pre-wrapped handmeal (it might be bread on the ends, so could technically be a sandwich, if sandwiches were printed by an extruder instead of assembled).
"Despite being a Titan pilot I really don't know anything about how giant metal men -- or women -- work, I'm not sure I'd know how to help. I can be nearby to offer encouraging words and to talk with, of course." And from what Katie knows of Tasha these days, she's been less inclined to test her body against physical labor. She holds her hand out for the 'sandwich' while going on, "Maybe I'll learn by watching and not injuring myself by jumping in?"
Once the sandwich has been passed, Modo immediately holds out his much larger hand for it to Tasha.
"Well, you could hand me things, and wipe off the stuff that inevitably sticks to my jumpsuit," Katie notes. Then rolls her eyes slightly, "Because highly advanced space lube is sticky for some reason."
For reasons not provided, Tasha hands it to her tail, which hands it to her other hand, which hands it to Modo. This she does without looking away from Katie or even seeming to acknowledge the motions. "Maybe it needs to stick so it doesn't go where it's not needed? Like airship tarring."
"It's called permanent lubrication," Modo claims before tearing the packing off with his large teeth. "Fluids don't work well in vacuum."
"That makes sense except that it isn't permanent," Katie admits.
"They evaaaapoooraate," Tasha explains, hands held out to wiggle and tail trying its best to also wiggle. "A lot of things boil away in vaccum that wouldn't under atmospheric pressure."
"Or freeze up," Modo adds. "So lubricants have to be non-volatile viscous substances."
"That sounds.. disturbing," Aaron notes as he sticks in finger in a pipe and whisks it around.
"You must adapt to your circumstance and challenge," Tasha agrees with what sounds like, but may not be, quoting. "And being in Titan when it stops working is not a fun experience."
"Does Melchior even have lubricant?" Katie asks. "He's never been serviced, has he?"
"Phrasing, Katherine.." Aaron says.
"He's very special," Tasha says proudly. "You would have to ask his maker about that, a certain mysterious and teaching inclined long-studied academic."
"I'm still amazed at how old the Grunt is," Katie says, shaking her head. "So many antiques in use because they still work - until nobody remembers how to maintain them. I wonder if that'll happen to us eventually."
"It's nice that someone who knew how to maintain me was around," Tasha agrees, but then she arches a brow and tilts her head, "Unless you've forgotten how to maintain me? Perhaps poor Shojo as well?" She shakes her head.
Shojo looks up at the mention of his name, but doesn't say anything.
"I assume he oils his own joints," Katie says. "I do. What sort of special maintenance do you require now that you didn't before?" she asks Tasha. "Extra viscous fluids?"
"La-la-la-la" the Lapi goes, letting both ears flop down while he works. "There's no way Liza and Yue broke me this easily.."
"Who knows?" Tasha's tail sweeps above her hea,d as if it were gesturing to goods below. "You'll just have to explore and write that manual yourself." And then she winks.
"You gotta work on the Grunt first," Modo claims, waving his half-eaten slab of food in emphasis. "And no doing weird things with my tools without sterilizing them afterwards."
"I would never despoil someone's tools." Tasha lays a hand over her heart, then rises and snatches up Katie hand. "Off we go, musn't make the guests grump-- more grumpy."
As the two women leave, they can hear Modo telling Aaron, "You need to calm down, or you'll never survive your first daughter." Followed by a lapine howl of despair. The trek back to the hangar is otherwise uneventful, and Katie surveys the situation before her. "He does this to keep me busy, doesn't he?" she asks Tasha.
"It's a very important job," Tasha replies, and surprisingly serious about it. "I see now so many jobs I did aboard ship was to keep my mind occupied and focused. Sometimes I think my switching to being the boss and not having duties created more problems than it solved." She then nods to the Grunt. "So when you think of it that way, it's good, isn't it?"
"It's very military mindset," Katie says, and checks the two containers of goo. "Idle hands are the devil's playthings, my father would say. The key to happiness is work, my mother would say. You can't get by on your looks, my brother would say. I mean, they were all right, but I don't need to be tricked or anything."
"Considering 'the devil' is actually Thotep, I think Sam's the devil's plaything. Or, maybe it's me?" Tasha tilts her head to consider this. "I have been idle. That must be it." She shakes her head, then points to the goo. "The left one is hydrokinetically reactive. And your brother seemed very ... dependable."
"I'm amazed he can fake that so well," Katie claims, and gets down under the Grunt to check out its exposed innards. "So, since we all need things to keep ourselves busy or else go mad because brains don't like the geometry of space out here for some reason, which I really don't buy, what has everyone been doing?"
"Well, you know what I've been up to -- talking to the gods and special side-projects. Gabriel and I have spent more time together, which I guess means I'm what he's been doing." This last comes with a very vixenly laugh, which is more appropriate than ever considering Tasha's new body style. "Aaron, Yue, and my angry personal assistant have been doing the same with each other, all to help Yue of course, who has been the last to recover from Sam's stratagem. I believe he is also recovering, convalescing as his kind do. Lacci and Shojo have been spending time together when Lacci isn't with us, or doing what she does. Or he does, which aside from cook I'm uncertain of. The Phins seem to be handling flat space well annnd our guests seem to be recovering and getting back to their interests. Hake remains as she always is."
"Well, not always always," Katie points as she torques something. "She's been sober for quite a while now. For the best out here, certainly. Do you think she'll go back to partying once she feels.. I don't know.. safe?"
"I'm not sure," Tasha says with an unmasked air of uncertainty. "I think she's been having doubts. Doubts about who she used to be and who she is now. I'm just not sure if it'll make her change one way or the other, but this trip has caused her to reflect on the past a great deal."
"Well, if her drinking was so she wouldn't reflect on it, I can see how going dry and having all that come up and dealing with all the stuff we've seen on this trip.. I mean, the whole thing with Urgo-hem was terrifying, but at least it wasn't long periods of 'void demons' punctuated by cosmic horror, paradise, more horror.. and then the void again which doesn't help to process things," Katie claims. "Even I feel on edge, and I'm supposed to be the Heart."
"It's very hard to be emotionally reliable and invested in everyone and everything. This I discovered to me -- and probably everyone's -- determent. That's part of why Persephone suggested I split the roles," Tasha explains, hands spreading. "And she thought I should be the Heart, but as I said, making either of you the Will -- and it would have been you if you accepted -- would have been too much like what you went through before. Besides, we're still new to our roles."
There's a rattle as a tool gets dropped and Katie has to shift her position. "I'm sure it'll start to click when we're back somewhere.. not-here. We're heading to another planet after Caltrop, right? I've put off answering my correspondence until I'm somewhere I can think straight."
"A planet called Ymir. From what Liza told me, it's a largely oceanic world with enormous -- city sized -- flora. Giant trees, which the Galactics occupy according to their kind. It rains a lot, so if you've never seen that, you'll get to. I wanted to see it again myself." Tasha leans out so she can sue her bifurcated hoof to push the tool over to Katie's hand. "It sounds nice, doesn't it? I wonder if there's residency available? I feel like we'd benefit from coming back to a world and not installations, however shiny they may be."
Katie fumbles until she gets the tool without looking, and goes back to work. "Just put down on some world? I'm amazed it could be that easy. You know how hard it was just to get into the different life domes back home. But out here.. well, money gets you what you want. Galactic currency.. no idea how that works. But then I don't know how the Expedition figures out what money is worth either. I bet Gabriel would like a water planet. Seems to really be into sailing. Just can't be too civilized."
"We'll have to see how it is, and then which tree we want to live on. I assume the TerraGens ones but maybe after dealing with me you're all tired of Humans forever?" Tasha gives a shrug and smiles. "And I think the ... largeness of Galactic space means that even if much is restricted, no one can really keep track of it all, and it's easier to move between the cracks than you might suppose as long as it's not anything like a home world. But I might be wrong.Thoth says we need a living world, too, so at least if it doens't work we'll have that before we go."
"If we can use Thoth as an excuse, I'm glad he's here," Katie says, and scoots out so she can sit up. "Colony worlds. Those are probably fun. Actual wilderness, no bureaucracy making things complicated. Freedom - the home worlds all sound a bit domesticated. I mean, look at what they did to Karnors! Even those homeworld Vartans we saw seemed domesticated."
"They're both very cute though. Those tiny little Vartans and the curly-tailed Karnors are amazing." Tasha claps her hands together and puts them in her lap, leaning forward. "And while the Vartans are small and endearing, I think some of the new Karnors are attractive, domestication aside. But, I agree about the bureaucracy, I've had enough of that. Philosophy too, maybe? Do you really think it'll be free?"
"Planets are big, colonies have low populations - that's why they're colonies," Katie says, leaning back on her elbows. "Probably less people than on Abbadon. They're still being broken, as the term goes. But there really aren't any new habitable planets. They're all just worlds that went wild after the First Ones vanished. So who knows what's on them? They're giant treasure troves!"
"Well, I do like treasure, especially ancient treasure -- and that goes double if I don't know how it workss! And triple if it causes long term complications. Quadruple if it becomes my mate." Tasha smiles again, peculiar tail wagging in its too-stiff manner from having all that fine control. "Maybe we can even find somewhere to base ourselves and dock the ship as well? It's a really big tree."
"Yeah, will have to see when we get there," Katie says. "Think there will be another big ring like Prax had? That was surprising. But it's probably the norm for developed worlds. And it doesn't sound like the sort of place you'd want to mess up with industry. I've always wanted to climb a tree, too. They don't let you do that in New Zion."
"I'll bet they don't. New Zion has, what, one? Two tops?" Tasha looks very wide-eyed and innocent, which is of course a complete lie as she's been there. If her memory serves, there were zero trees. "It's also hard to build on a large tree and they suspect it might be an artifact-world, so they're hesitant to to be too exploitative lest it rise up in leafy anger and hurl everyone's homes at the ring like, well, an angry tree god."
"You had to use the g-word?", Katie asks and flops onto her back. "Tree gods, monster gods, dragon gods.. and whatever weird-gods the Titanians fight. What was Urgo-hem? The Trumpet God? Horn God? I'm sick of gods! Unless it's.. the Massage God maybe. Or the Steak God. Even if it's a green-tinted Abbadonian steak that sparks when you bite it.."
"Gods are my business, I can't help it if they all just think I'm the best." Tasha shrugs; it is her burden to bear. "But I am a bit sick of them, them and big questions," waggles her hands at 'big question,' " ... both. It's very startling how much less fun life is when you start trying to make everything fit to some cosmic or society-wide code-of-whatever. I think the Titanians are superior in that regard."
"Or you just aren't occupying your hands enough, so too much lubricant accumulates in your brain and causes slippery thinking," Katie claims.
"Hmm, I could occupy my hands more." Tasha pushes up, then walks over to sit beside Katie before unceremoniously flopping over on to her, resting her head on the other woman's chest. "I do wonder what I should be doing," she admits, getting comfortable as she does, "What's important now. Who am I. And, what changed in me after ... Well, you know. What does it mean to be the Will. What do I do now that I'm stepping back. How do I conduct this secret war and raise a clan."
"So.. basically typical growing up stuff," Katie claims, and plays with Tasha's ears, grabbing the tips and moving them around like joysticks. "My advice is to not worry about them, because in the time it takes to try to figure it out, you've already moved on and developed anyway."
After a while Tasha starts moving her tail in the direction of the 'controls', or at least tries to. "You mena I can not think about things and be lazy about it? This is a very good plan, I'm going to tell Persephone you're already beginning to Heart. Or maybe that's Will? Well I'm the Will and after much deliberation, consideration, rumination and introspection I have decided 'do nothing' is the best choice."
"Hey, it's not being lazy, it's just focusing on things you want, instead of overthinking," Katie says. "I was a huge overthinker. It was basically my job. It isn't something you can maintain and stay healthy though."
"I seem to have realized that myself. Then I went and got myself killed over it, so, you know Katie, that's a very strong lesson for a very stubborn person." Tasha reaches up and knocks on her own head. "My sister'll think I'm trying to compete with her in a 'who cna die and come back to life the most' contest. Oh," she opens her eys to turn them towards Katie's face. "Did you want to record a message for Nora? Would you like to see Mariel?" The last said in a tone the edges towards squealy.
"I'm not in a good enough mindset to write message, but I'd like to see Mariel. I barely remember meeting her," Katie notes.
"She's a very cute perosn when you get to know her. She was the one who taught me what platonic love is, because ever since we became friends I wanted to protect her and repay what the universe took from her. Maybe I have a little now." Tasha pulls her datapad out of her robe, which seems to now have pockets, and after blurs through menus with the speed of youth and technology until she's showing Katherine a picture of a brown-furred Karnor girl smiling shyly at the camera, the name 'Mariel' written with a heart instead of a dot for the I. "She so cute now I can barely stand it."
"So, are you sure it was Platonic and not big-sisterly love?" Katie asks after looking the photo. "She is cute.. but.. is she a child? I mean we've all had our identity issues, but.. does she remember who she is?"
"Big or little sisterly, all I know is I wnat Mariel to be happy. That's she's not a Karnor Elite or someone big just makes me want it more. Mariel was the member of the crew who made me feel normal, or at least like I could understand someone. She was probably my first real friend." Tasha looks at the picture, but then starts blinking and sees to need to look away. "I, um, maybe wasn't the best at it. Being a friend, I wasn't very good with people and I was angry. Mariel and Fred covered for me when I made a mess of things, and Nora gave me inspiration. When she was in the tank I just couldn't figure out how I felt, it was so strong, but I didn't know how to deal with it." She exhales, laying her head down again. "And I don't know. Part of me is afraid to ask."
"Yeah, it's all basically down to Sifran magic," Katie says. "So she's pretty brave for taking the chance. I wouldn't mind bringing some the medical tech I've seen back home. Limb and organ regeneration, without weird transplants like the Confederates use? Yes please, I like that."
"Me, too. I don't like that our worlds were semi-intentionally left in technological limbo all for some long-term secret bunker scheme. There's no need to allow all that suffering, but I also fear the politics of it. I've seen enough to know helping someone when they didn't ask for it can cause ... problems." Tasha looks at the image again, puts it to her forehead for a moment, then closes it and puts her datapad away. "It was part of why I moved away from the Abaddonian spotlight and stopped trying to push my help on the world, maybe part of why I looked to the stars again."
"So now it's all about just being sneaky and not asking permission?" Katie asks teasingly. "Imploding the occasional planet or star."
"The important thing is no one knows and therefore can't be mad at me, which is an improvement from them being mad at me," Tasha insists, nodding slowly as if she were quoting a sage. "Not that I like all the subterfuge. It still makes me uncomfortable deep down even if I do it all the time now. And if I sneak, I'm sneaky and therefore bad, but if I don't sneak, I'm ... also bad. Sometimes I think they'd all rather stubbornly fly in to a wall than admit they need help, but I also know why a bit now, and I hate it."
"At least you aren't spying on people that invite you into their homes," Katie points out. "And.. you've got your health," she adds before trying to tickle Tasha.
Unprepared for this assault, eyes closed as they are, Tasha makes a decidedly unintimidating yelp, then she tries to curl up but can't given her belly-down position, and so just ends up squirming a lot and giggling. Slighter as she is, it's a lot easier to tickle her without the 'super solider' muscles to fend off the hands. Mariel isn't the only one to end up smaller, cuter, and far more tickleable.
Relenting after a few moments, Katie asks, "So, are you gonna be Mariel's mom?"
Looking rather disheveled now, like the good fairy of Karnor mischief after she'd ended up in the wash, Tasha pushes herself up pants a moment before blinking. "Her mom?" Tasha's eyes go wide. "Could I be? I thought I'd be way too dangerous and stressful for Mariel to be around. I want her to be happy, even if that means I only get to see her now and then. But at least she and I would get on better than Nora and I."
"You think so?" Katie asks. "She'd be running circles around you. Karnor pups have tons of energy and are made of rubber."
"And Nora's an Elite, one of the top-level Karnors from back in the beginning. She's smarter than me and more talented, and I sort of came in and took over while she had to go be a child. We've settled our disagreements, but she's going to challenge me and try to beat me all the time. And she's still my original creator, so part of me will always feel beholden to her." And so Tasha shakes her head. "So I can't look after her. I can't be in charge because of who I am and who we are. At least I think Mariel would listen to me, I think she'd be very easy to take care of. Quiet and thoughtful."
"I wasn't quiet and helpful as a child," Katie claims. "I was always getting into trouble with my brother. Exploring places we weren't supposed to. Even tried to stow away on a transport my father was taking to an active battlefield."
"That sounds like something I'd do. No, it sounds like something Nora would do. Not that I didn't do it either," Tasha admits. She scoots back over, then flops right back down where she had been laying atop Katie. "I think Nora and I would get along better if we kept a certain distance. Neither of us can grow while the other is too close, but just far enough and we help each other."
"Maybe I should adopt them both then," Katie suggests. "Or let the Lapis look after them. Aaron would let them get away with everything, Liza wouldn't let them get away with anything."
"I know that method of parenting very well," Tasha notes, glancing towards the exit as if Liza may manifest simply at the mention of her name. "And there's Fred, too. He'd be more trouble than Mariel but not much more. I think he and Mariel would get along, or at least he'd look out for her. I don't see them associating a lot, but maybe they don't need to. They're all very different."
"Fred was the really friendly engineer," Katie says. "Wasn't he looking out for Mariel originally? He seems the mother-hen sort. Lots of engineers I've met are like that with their crews."
"I think he looked out for everyone, until 'everyone' became just us. Fred and I also get along, so maybe I should offer them both the option of coming with me?" Tasha arches her brows; what do you think? She then gesturs around herself, to the ship. "But maybe not here unless they really want to and they remember enough for it to be safe. Somewhere like Ymir, or some other world we can return to. That would be better."
The Grunt Suit suddenly rattles, and one of the few access panels that hasn't been opened.. opens. A bandit-masked face pokes out from it. "Who is this friendly engineer named Fraud? I SHALL CONQUER HIM!" Reeka shouts in a challenging tone. She might be waving her fist but the hatch is too small to get her shoulders free.
Tasha reaches in and tries to ruffles the Kavi's fur, and does so without missing a beat. She, after all, grew up around Kavi. "Fred is a friend of mine. As for conquering him, I'll leave that to him." And so she shrugs at Katie, even if she can't see her do it. "Fred's a lot like me that way."
"He is?" Katie asks, frowning at the Kavi. "This isn't a mobile home for you, Reeka," she says, then has to ask Tasha, "Have you ever been conquered by Kavi?"
"Oh gods no," Tasha replies quite before she can stop herself. She coughs, pats Reeka's head, then looks somewhere that isn't the two of them. "My tastes didn't run towards people who were ... Well. Less physically robust than myself, preferably more so, if you understand me. That was much less true for women of course, though many of them also happened to be so." And then she nods. "Yes, he is. It's part of why we get along so well."
"I could easily conquer you!" Reeka claims to Tasha. "Your clothes are loose! I could mesmerize you and steal them, then fashion them into a hammock!"
"Many beings more powerful than you have tried to get me out of my clothes and conquer me." Tasha then thumbs towards Katie. "Such as her. She succeeded."
"What if I were six Kavi?" Reeka asks.
"Are you six Kavi?" Tasha inquires, leaning in to get a good look at Reeka.
"I'm easily worth a half-dozen non-Reeka Kavi," the ferretoid claims. "I've fought against monsters and soared through the air!"
"Did someone launch you out of a cannon then?" Katie asks.
"It was a trebuchet," Reeka claims. "Powered by a thermonuclear reactor!"
"I do all of that like many times of day," Tasha insists airily, and so she drops back on to Katie and spreads her arms. "And I had a pistol that was a magnetic bottle fusion reactor."
"But did you ever have to use your tail to clean it out?" Reeka asks.
"I hope she hasn't done anything weird inside the suit," Katie says. "Or I'll weld her inside."
"I use my tail for many things," the who-knows-what-now woman replies, pointing at it and it pointing right back at her hand. She thinks to say something crude about it, but opts for the high road and glances to Katherine. "You'd better check just to be sure. She's not just a Kavi, she's a Titanian Kavi."
"I need a broom to shoo her out first," Katie says.
"Have you used that wipe yourself yet, so you don't have wash your hands?" Reeka asks Tasha.
"You may not get it back," Tasha warns, but stands up and looks around for something potentially losable that won't have Modo chasing her with a wrench. Meanwhile she answers, "I keep my tail very clean thank you," in a highly prim manner.
"My tail exploded once," the Kavi claims, and pulls her head back into the suit.
"I've known lots of people who have that condition," Katie claims, and starts banging on something a wrench. Probably because the sound would be amplified inside the suit.
"Kavi are an interesting species." It's a loaded observation, certainly. Tasha fishes out a mop and hands it to Katie, then stands well back. "I prefer my tail unexploded. I just got it. It's new."
"You will never get me out of here!" Reeka claims. "This is my lair now! Try and I'll mark every bit! But I will let you rent it when you really need it."
Tasha rubs her chin, arms folded. "This may require a Titanian solution," she mulls, then glances to Katie to add, "Have you ever considered trying to be a Titanian solution?"
"I was never that good at chemistry," Katie claims. "But.. no, we don't have any pies. Stink bombs would require us to clean it out too. What do Kavi like or hate? Could Rainbow get her out of there?"
"She could. And Kavi like anything that looks interesting and they want it. Also," Tasha counts off, " ... you purse, your food, bits of junk, bit of not junk, and really anything that catches their fancy. Or, something more interesting. I suspect TItanians throw them when they need them out of the way and they stick to the walls."
"I bathe at least once every 2000 hours," Reeka claims from inside the suit.
"We could flood her out?" Katie suggests. "Entice her with one of the Phins' fishes."
"But then the Phins would be cross with us, and I don't like our squeaky fish friends being cross with us." Tasha rolls her shoulders, then steps forward. She eyes the lot of tools, selects the lubricant and hard foam fire extinguisher, and then steps forward to spray the interior with lubricant. Then she steps back and waits. "Speaking of our aquatic friends, what do you think of them Katie?"
"I want to hug to them for some reason," Katie admits. "They are not cuddly, so it must be instinctive. Like wanting to play with balls. Everyone likes balls."
The lubricated Kavi is now able to squeeze through the little hatch.
"Do you have a ball?" Reek asks.
Tasha, ready to foam-entomb the Kavi should things turn Kavi-ward, shakes her head. "Do you, Katie?" And then she nods. "I want to hug them too, but more because I feel a kinship with them, even if we're nothing alike physically."
"It was fun swimming with them to see the whales," Katie says, then suddenly looks cagey. "A ball? That's on a need to know basis."
Tasha sees Reeka isn't going to run off and so sits herself right back down in a chair. "I have decided I'm in no mood to chase Kavi. We should handle things here, then I'd rather we just talked."
Reeka finishes squirming and falls onto Katie's lap with a 'splut' sound before trying to run off on all fours, sipping and sliding as she goes.
"We'll have to vacuum that lube off of her eventually you realize," Katie says. "So, I'm declaring myself to be done working on the Grunt for now."
"I suppose the voice of ship leaders having had enough carries no matter who you are," Tasha observes, folding her arms and leaning back. "It's not that I don't like Kavi, but they can be such a hand full and I think I've had enough of problems for now. This is exactly the sort of thing I need people to handle for me now and then." She inhales, then exhales, looking around. "Want to retire to the Lounge?"
"Yes, my jumpsuit is getting itchy for some reason.. that girl didn't have fleas I hope," Katie says, getting out from under the mechanical suit. "Have the Lapis deal with Reeka, I'm sure they're fast enough to catch a greased Kavi."
Tasha nods, punching in the request order for Liza. She may have decided to take care of Yue, but Liza is still her employee and the newly minted alien has had quite enough with being treated as some sort of enemy. She decides to change the item from request to directive, if a polite directive. "There." And so she rises. the Will who defends the universe can't be intimidated by small sentients, and she decides now is as good as any time to start. "We can just go to your quarters instead. I can lounge on and wait for you."
"Wow, I can't remember if you've been to my quarters before," Katie admits. "It might be messy," she warns before heading for the corridor that wraps around the Bridle.
Tasha watches Katie go, then simply shrugs and stands up. For her part she walks to the rear elevator and takes that given it's her executive special-access elevator. Thanks to the shortcut she arrives before Katie does. "Ship owner cheating," she admits with a lopsided grin.
"I didn't want drip on anything," Katie claims, and heads for her room, before turning around before the door. "Are you prepared for what lies within?" she asks ominously.
"No," Tasha says without hesitation, wings and hands spreading in a gesture bound shrug. "But when has that ever stopped me before?"
"Alright, but you've been warned!" Katie says, and opens the door. The lights are out inside. "Come in and close the door behind you," Katie beckons.
"If you're going to murder me and take over, could you make my death less anticlimactic this time. Something really memorable, something you can put on a giant statue base." Tasha heads inside, tucking her wings and wrapping her tail around her leg to avoid knocking things over. She may be petite now, but she's still just as expansive as anyone with wings.
The lights come on. The little room is.. disturbingly tidy. Even the datapads on the desk are squared to the corners. Her guitar is propped up on a stand, and her bed looks like the beddings were painted on due to the crispness of the corners. The bathroom looms as well through the side door.
Tasha throws up her hands. "It's terribly, horribly orderly!" She then mock gasps, clutching her hands beneath her muzzle. Unlike her old body, this one fits the gesture perfectly. "Why I dare say if Sam saw this he would cease to exist immediately."
"It is my secret shame," Katie says. "Mr. Invention would surely chide me for falling back on military behavior under stress. But I have to do this, or my shed fur would cover every surface. Except for my surface."
"A furless Katie Kaboom would break half the hearts on Abaddon. It would be more terrible than any daikaiju," Tasha agrees, hands dropping and settling in the small of her back. She wanders around taking leg-swinging steps, stooping to look at this and that. "You might not think so of me, but I do appreciate order. You remember Harmonia, don't you? Sometimes I'd just stare at those gears for hours thinking about everything being working just so."
"Life isn't very clockwork-worky though, unfortunately," Katie says, and sits on the edge of her desk. "It's one of the reasons I wanted that metallic fur look. Growing up, the idea of fur that was indestructible was a fantasy of mine."
"All very orderly, all where it should be, reliable, resilient, that sort of thinking?" Tasha settles herself on the edge of the bed, though she seems to be there only to sit because she's not making her more usual subtle hints -- or not so subtle depending on her mood. It seems she really is here just to talk. "That's why I liked being in Harmonia. Alone with gears, I could believe everything was right. And, it was, at least so far as that fortress could make me safe."
"It's addictive, isn't it?" Katie asks. "Security, I mean. Predictability. You want it when things are uncertain, but when you have it you start craving excitement. For me it was always swinging between the extremes, never settling at the middle."
"I feel that way about power. Which, I suppose, is just the potential to influence things. To overwhelm them and move them as you might, to have it just in case something went wrong. And, I don't think I'm wrong to want to have it. You really can't do anything without it, but it's not an answer all by itself." And so the fae-alien -- faelien? -- spreads her hands. "Security has been vanishingly limited for me for a while, unfortunately. That's something I need to consider. Aside from that, my other problem was the rush. Or, then need to keep pushing because it defined me. Without it, I became nobody again. Gabriel realized it eventually, and then so did I."
"Sometimes all you need is a cat," Katie claims. "The purring is very relaxing. They don't seem to care about power, because they have it over you. And you give them security and food. So.. my point is we should all be cats. I think that's what Thoth's stuff is about. Get something powerful to give you your security, and be a good pet to keep it coming."
"Isn't that what I am to Persephone and Charon?" Tasha asks, ears going askew. "Gabriel and I came up with the idea I might even be an exciting experiment for her. She creates life -- and death -- and I have this very exciting spore in me, She seemed very interested in that. I really very much doubt they ever get a chance to work with a being who is both alive, connected, and not a Shadow being or puppet. They don't talk to the Shadows much at all." And so she rubs her nose. "And Thoth also mentioned life-spirits, didn't he?"
"All kinds of spirits," Katie says. "That's more Hakeber's area of expertise though. Ancient religions and mythology. The 'spirits' on Abbadon came from basement stills."
"I wonder what sort of witches we'll become. Hake doesn't seem to have a knack for Alchemy, nor do you, which leaves me and maybe Lacci. I can't see us as all being the same about it, it's such a broad field from what little I know about it. Even mages on Sinai divided themselves and specialized within their own ... I think the word is sphere." Tasha's muzzle crinkles, then she nods. "So what appeals to you? Sam said you had the potential to be a witch, but he also seemed to suggest your talents were different from ours."
"Well, I sing," Katie says. "So whichever one uses that. I guess the spirits one? If they like music out in the wilderness. It's an excuse to wallow in nature that isn't trying to kill me, so I'm taking it."
"I think, now that I think about it, what he was suggesting is that you're good at sirring the spirit within others. Song, performance, even lust, you can entrance people and generate emotion in them. That's not something anyone else here can really do, not the way you do it." And so the red woman nods again, more confident. "And our two teachers said there are many kinds of spirits, and what they want can include emotion. Just think of the currency you could mint with your talents. You'll surely attract a certain type."
"I thought I attracted all types!" Katie claims. "Maybe it was just all Abbadonian types."
"I mena spirits," Tasha insists, eyes rolling but muzzle grinning. "The kind that want to be paid in crowds full of people feeling ... something."
"So, muses," Katie says. "If I had to call them anything. I mean what else would they get out of it?"
"It's important to remember they're beings very different from us. Their ... currency is different, their mindset, how they look at time and space. If they look at time and space. What is common for us may be precious to them, it may be like a drug, or it may the way they grow or spread influence. It may even be what they are." And so Tasha wiggles her fingers. "What's important is that they do get something and you get something in return. And that that relationship is safe and you like your ... owners?" She blinks, head cocking in the classic confused canine way. "Your Patrons."
"Farmers? Well, I like Patrons, let's go with that," Katie says, and then frowns. "So.. what is Sam's currency? Is it really souls, and he's going to be stuck like he is until he gets some?"
"I'm ... I'm not sure. It could be souls, but I think he's actually made of what souls break down to when subject to what they ... do," Tasha explains, albeit uncomfortably. "Which seems to be different from the burning of souls, which is what the weapons we use do. As they're powered by living souls, at least some are, perhaps there's some energy that is released or a miasma that remains." She pulls in a breath through her nose. "Perhaps he can accumulate stray fragments, or negative emotions? The Vril-ya seem to be composed of something like orderly though and knowledge, so maybe he doens't need to refine a soul, but find that which is already refined."
"Soul-bread instead of soul-wheat?" Katie asks. "Should we even ask him about it? I don't understand what his size has to do with it. I'm sure he was bigger when he was in the water in that cove were we kept the Jotoki on our last vacation."
"It may not be physical size, but maturity or self that has shrunk. Yue felt it, the lost memories, the fragments of souls vanishing. He is what he knows. So when he sacrificed of himself, he is less than who and what he was -- more childlike in a sense. His physical expression may just be a projection of that as we would know it, what would happen to me if I lost experience and self." Tasha holds out a hand, indicatively, palm up. "I've thought about their forms, and I've been told they're an expression of the essence of what they are rendered in to our reality. Sam is only a bit different. They are teeth and eyes and horror because that is what they are from and of. Not necessarily who they are, but it is what they are and what they are of."
"So that brings up another question I've been wondering about," Katie says, leaning forward. "When the Dark Horse became the Dagger of Eibon, where did the power come from? Was it from Sam, or the Horse?"
"Or from us?" Tasha perks her ears, eyes widening. "Did you see the markings roll over us? I'm still not sure what to make of that, but I can't feel that we were outside the process. Perhaps protected from is at the least, or actively a element of its functionality." She tilts her head. "I believe most of the power comes from Tatha-hem, her ability seems to be over motion. She doesn't seem to be able to teleport us, only move us in space and time in a limited fashion. What makes her special beyond, say, a warp drive, is that she can accelerate beyond light in conventional space. She breaks causality. And reality hates that, so Urgo-hem stopped existing because we burned his soul in the flames of a churning spacio-temporal oblivion." She then points towards the door. "Sam's the key to the system. The hilt. I don't think he powers it but he did say it felt amazing. Also ... " And here she leans forward. "I know I asked this before but did you meet any ... one after the weapon was used?"
"I had my eyes closed," Katie claims. "I was just focusing on my own voice at the time. Why, was there another Ogdru-hem or something in the area? I thought all the Berserkers and everything else vanished at the same time."
"I was watching. Maybe that's why? Or maybe because I've met and probably will meet the Waymakers?" Tasha's brows arch all over again. "But I met The Null. The Null is the Horizon of Oblivion, the end of data structures, somehow incarnate and aware and alive. With the Shadows, my sense of their spirit is confounded. It's like looking at glass -- there's something there but I barely feel it. Charon was overwhelming; I didn't try with Persephone. The Null ... The Null terrifies me. Not because it's malicious, but because I sensed it for a moment and some part of what it was." And so Tasha holds up her hands, which on close inspection, shake. "That's what I saw. He is a Fundamental, one of the Pillars of Reality itself." And so her hands fall. "But no malice."
"Well.. forces of nature wouldn't be malicious, I hope?" Katie says, and comes over to the bed to hold Tasha's hands. "It must have really shaken you up. You weren't like this with Luk'thu were you?"
Tasha gladly takes the offered support and squeezes Katie's hands. "I was afraid, but I've been afraid of them before. I had Charon to protect and I was feeling all the drive of guilt and self-hatred. Luk'thu-hem was something to fight, to aim all my emotions at, to struggle against. It's almost funny my enemy was part of what kept me going; she was the other half of my morale support." And so Tasha lowers her head, staring at her hands, not quite able to meet Katie's gaze. "B-but, no. No. The Null is something else entirely. And I know that it thinks, that it is alive. It is the oldest Waymaker, you see? Charon told me. I don't think he was supposed to. But it is. Or what is left of him. And he is somehow fused with the horizon of oblivion. I think it's that nature I sense, a living spirit incarnating that oblivion. It bridges things. or, maybe oblivion itself is enough. It is the very horizon of more than death itself."
"Okay, that is good to know now instead of over a campfire in darkness," Katie says. "But I really want to get out of this horrible space and back into curved space again. Does anyone else know about this? Does Sam even know?"
"About the Null? I figured he either knew or shouldn't know. I've told you, Gabriel, and Hake but the others have no need to be aware of such a overwhelming being -- especially not now." Tasha rubs her thumbs over Katie's hands, finally looking up at her. "It's sad, you realize? To have lost so much. I thought about trying to speak to the Null, but it's not like speaking to anything or anyone else. But, I know it is aware of me. It feels every burnt soul, every data hurled in to absolute non-existence. The ship links us to him, and you all link to me. So I think he must ahve got a good, long look at me afterwards. They can do that you know, sum you all up in a glance. Their talking to us was a courtesy, and I think part of them enjoys the interactions through their remotes. A learning experience."
"I suppose from a higher dimension, you could see a person's entire life all at once if you wanted to," Katie says. After a moment of silence she asks, "What about Thoth? Is this stuff he already knows, or is it too close to the Progrenitors religion?"
"Thoth's relationship with them seems more distant than that of the first generation Vril-ya and of Vril itself. He doesn't seem to hold them in quite as high of awe, and Persephone was willing to speak to him, when normally they ignore the Vril-ya entirely. I may tell him." Tasha leans back, eyes widening. "Wouldn't the Null make for a fearsome Patron? It is a kind of spirit, a memetic essence, and a very real state. And it is aware."
"But what does it do?" Katie asks. "And what did Thoth and Persephone discuss?"
"Well, it's the end. The incarnation of the process of what this ship and those weapons do. It is the most fearsome existence in all reality, and I know it actively hunts the Shadow-beings and that the Waymakers are allied with it. I have been told to escape immediately if it arrives, and to beware the empty places. Which," Tasha puts a finger to her muzzle, "I suppose I didn't do, but there's so terribly much for such an empty place, you can't really beware of all of it, can you?" She then glances over. "Oh, he asked if she knew who made Vril. She didn't know. But, her own timeline is before the Way; in a sense I have seen more of her future than she has."
"Well, I for one would rather not have ability to erase things," Katie admits. "That does not seem like a subtle weapon. And I thought spirits had to be living ones for any of this to work?"
"Well it is sort of ... a ... " Tasha's brows knit. "I'm not really sure how it exists now, I just thought we're roughly on the same side, we've met, his people seem to like me, and we go about things the same way and he's not malicious. That's quite a lot in the seek-a-sponsor game." But she exhales, flopping back on the bed bonelessly. "But perhaps being tied to death and oblivion ins't the healthiest pursuit. I can't very well oblivionate every problem we come across. Politics? Oblivion. Food shortage? Oblivi--" And so she throws up her hands.
"It's like going into a bar brawl with a bunker-buster," Katie says. "We should try to be more delicate. We've destroyed a planet and a solar system so far, but both of those technically were the enemy. They can't all be like that."
"Don't forget we also tore a hole in reality and almost destroyed the universe with absolute vacuum weapons," Tasha adds, pointing at Katie. "We can't forget that, how else are we going to top ourselves if we don't keep score?" And so her point hand flops and she rubs her face. "Subtle. I must be more subtle. If you have the muses, then I wonder who will come to call on me. So far it's been Madness and also Madness, except different."
"Well, the far side of madness I guess," Katie says. "I don't know if those two count as spirits you can call on, or if you are what they can call on."
"The evil spirit's evil spirit?" Tasha lowers her hand, revealing her eyes. "A fairy to curse one's enemies with mischief?"
"Well, fairies are supposed to be mischievous," Katie notes with a grin. "And.. uh.. stealing children I think? Does Lacci count?"
"She probably does, she's so cute and innocent it makes me want to either fluff her up or see how much I can ruin it," Tasha admits, spreading her hands wide and looking elsewhere. "Not in a cruel way of course, I'd never hurt anyone here that way, but just see how much I can blow her mind, and then, how often. Just for the experience. It's so deliciou--" Tasha blinks, glancing back. "I'm not helping the stereotype am I?"
"Cute?" Katie asks. "She was fully armored when you met, how could you tell she was cute? I've never thought of Vartans as cute before. Hmm, am I biased because they aren't like Terran creatures?"
"Very," Tasha insists, sitting up and grinning. "Which is a great shame because being who you are, you could have way more fun than I ever could. And of course she's cute. It's in how she puffs up at everything, how she comports herself, how shy she is. But not Mariel cute, it's more a naive cute, and a bit annoying about it, which makes you want to wreak her." But Tasha holds up a finger. "In the nicest way possible, of course."
"I've never felt like that about someone," Katie admits. "But, I had a few rivals when I was your age that I felt like wrecking because they were cute."
Tasha immediately flops forward and props her head up on her hands, ears perked, tail wagging. The gesture is clear; go on.
"I wasn't the only cadet to be chosen for the Idol Project," Katie says. "There were also a few civilians, including a boy. He was scrubbed because his voice was bound to change, and he didn't want to be surgically altered to prevent that. You know I come from a prominent military family, but so did the other girls. There was a bit of a proxy competition between the families as a result, with the parents using their influence to help their daughters. Except for my father, who didn't want me to get involved in the project at all."
"The mysterious father, who to this day continues to scare me from the shadows. You might wish to know, sometimes I fear he'll just materialize behind me and ask what I'm doing with his daughter," Tasha admits with a bit of a laugh at the end; a nervous laugh. "But please go on. I want to hear all about the secret life of Katie Kaboom."
"I got that name from Hestia Etna," Katie says, her voice dripping with scorn. "She had everything handed to her, and expected this to be handed to her too. She sabotaged my scooter to explode. And while I was in recovery she started calling me Katie Kaboom. But we were still nominally military, and had to train in.. certain disciplines. I got back at her that way."
"You assassinated her!" Tasha gasps, leaning back. "I considered that myself but, well, Lacci does wear that armor all the time and my sister is extremely smart even if she doesn't seem like it."
"I didn't go that far," Katie says, waving a hand. "I just had her kidnapped for a few days. It rattled her, and that got her washed out of the program. Being taken captive is always a risk you see, especially if caught spying."
"It's nice to know you wealthy and educated persons are just as vicious and cruel as we shiphands," Tasha says with a smile. She flops back down again, hair trailing after to spray across her back. "But then I have to think about all the consequences and what I know about people now. I'm not saying she didn't need but but it makes me think of Lacci a little. Spoiled, oblivious, not expectant or greedy, but they both had that not knowing. Did you know Hake had a similar life? Back before she was a Templar. But she wanted to know and not simply be a puppet to false truths, so she left."
"She seems like a rebel," Katie says, and pats Tasha's belly. "I did Hestia a favor, really. She washed out because she broke silence. If she gave up secrets to pretend kidnappers, she never would have lasted against real ones."
"Hopefully she accepts that and doesn't resent you forever," Tasha agrees as she shifts so her belly can be rubbed more and better. "Lacci is a rebel I think, she just neither knows it nor knows what it means, yet. But I think she's learning. I'm curious who she'll be when all the pieces come together and she starts to move forward. I wonder if she'll thank me or resent me forever."
"Well, you did kidnap her," Katie teases. "There's an old Terran saying that I think goes: once they've seen the city, you'll never get them back on the farm. Although for Lacci it might be the reverse."
"There's also one about buying cows that I never understood," the Karnor adds.
"I know what a cow is even though I've never seen one, eaten one, or been within a star system of one. One of the many benefits to my sister's memories." Tasha taps the side of her head, then lets it drop. "There is another thing I should ask before I forget. I know I'm in a very helpless position right now so I'd appreciate if you don't get me for asking. But, I'm here talking to people, and now I'm here asking you about your worries, so: Did something happen in your past? With a man, I mean?"
"Nothing happened with men," Katie says. "Which was the 'problem' in itself. It was easier when I started out, because I always had a chaperone and any dates were strictly monitored and choreographed. But I just never found myself interested in them. It was fine to be around the mechanics, because we had similar interests and they respected me."
"Oh." Tasha looks relieved, relaxing somewhat. "I thought something awful might have happened, like Blackwings and I, or something even worse. So I know," and so Tasha reaches up with a finger to point-touch Katie nose, "You have no interest in men at all? And you'd rather not be around Gabriel and I? Do you want me to yourself regularly? I also allow Gabriel to do wwhat he will with me when the mood strikes him so long as I'm not out of sorts, do you want that? With me I mean, not Gabriel."
"I'm not exactly experienced with this sort of dynamic," Katie admits. "I always had a more mechanical relationship, you could say. And Mr. Invention always arranged things if I wanted real companionship. I like Gabriel, and I don't mind being with him and you together, I'm just not interested in him like that. I will admit to thinking about Liza at times though, which is odd. I'm not really into Hakeber either, so it isn't a purely physical sort of thing with me."
"I've thought about Liza too, so it's not just you. Of course she treats me like I'm haunting her so that impulse is fading very quickly." Tasha rolls her eyes, lingering them on the wall which she stares at a long moment, hoof bouncing on the bed. "Well that does answer things. Or confirm them, anyway. What else, um. Oh. Uh. You might have mentioned you were concerned with my fragility, when I was Human, and that you liked a certain wildness. What do you think of ... " And so Tasha's tail gestures to the main body; what do you think of me now.
"You look cute, but I don't want to wreck you," Katie claims. "And if you can handle Gabriel I doubt I have to worry about getting rough! My libido has just been very low since we started this flat-space voyage, among other things. And Liza is from a prey species, and you're a carnivore, and she's pregnant, so I imagine the latter is the cause of her odd attitude. Hormones affect behavior, after all. I know that all too well."
"I'm glad I'm immune to all of these things," Tasha insists, rolling over and then indicating her head should be petted now. "It'd be so troublesome if I was not. And as it happens, Vartans are from both a predator and prey species. I saw what the original animals were. I am in fact made from one predatory avian, one predatory canine, a prey hog-like something, and whatever Humans are. Both?"
Katie scratches Tasha's head, and asks, "Are you sure it was a prey species?"
"Well maybe not. It looked edible, which is a very strange thing to say about a part of yourself and your own soul." Tasha wrinkles her muzzle, but only briefly, given that she's being petted. "Now I look cute. It's very strange it's now she fears me."
"Hormones," Katie repeats. "She's probably super horny all the time now. Or super scared. Or.." The list of things Liza might be is interrupted by the intercom. "I have the Kavi," Liza says over it. "Modo says I have to vacuum off the grease. Can I use your bath to scrub her afterwards, or should I just throw her into Phins' room?"
"She may use my bath so long as she doesn't steal, destroy, or rearrange all my things. She may take one soap," Tasha replies without breaking a step, used to these sorts of things by now. "Oh and Liza? Why in the ever-expansive sky have you been avoiding me?"
"I've been feeling out of sorts and needed to look after Yue," the Lapi claims. "I will tie up the Kavi for the bath. Which is to say that I've already tied her up, but she's too slippery and keeps getting free."
"She's definitely a real Kavi, isn't she? Space Kavi or not, she's our old pocket-pilfering friends from back home." Tasha s[reads her hands to Katie; I guess that handles that. "Please take it easy Liza and thank you for telling me what's wrong."
"Yue is much easier to keep tied up," Liza notes. "You should be now as well." And then the intercom goes off again.
"I think she wants to tie you up," Katie says in a deadpan voice. "That's probably my fault because of what I did in the Garden."
"Liza tying me up ... " Tasha considers this, chewing on her lip. "I assume she'd want to do more than just leave me that way; I'm sure all of you have thought about tying me up and keeping me on the ship at one point or another."
"I only thought of it when you were a human and all vulnerable," Katie says with a grin. "And ticklish. Karnor pads aren't good for tickling, but Lapi have furred hands. You could probably be tickled now. May need to bring the humans in to do it though. Or maybe Modo."
Tasha holds her hands up. "Liza is fine, but I'm not going to be the crew's tickle-target. Gabriel would not allow so many different people touching me and I intend to not allow it either. Women are a ... I think the word is loophole. And I like Liza." Tasha tilts her head. "But she wasn't interested in me before. Maybe because I'm cute now?"
"She seems rather professional so maybe we're starting to see her be not professional?" Katie guesses.
"I see it in Gabriel too. He was ... I know you don't care for these things but he was ... very ... aggressive this time. I ended up on everything except the bed! And he growled at me!" Tasha's eyes are very wide, but then so is her grin. "Of course, I liked it, but I do wonder if he's okay with it. I don't want him to feel bad about himself. But now we have the prospect of Liza going the same way. I'm a little excited."
"But don't tell her that though," Tasha warns, quick as the wind, " ... she musn't be allowed to know I'm excited. She'll be even worse if she does."
"She probably is into dominatrix stuff I bet," Katie says, smacking her fist down into her upraised palm. "I mean, look at Aaron. He'd totally fall for that I think. He seems easily pushed around by women."
"Domina-what?" Tasha asks, sitting up. She has no memories of this, but Nora either didn't know it or didn't think she needed to know it. "And yes that's Aaron all right. He's a lot tougher than he seems, but he seems to have earned that by absorbing life with his mind and body."
"A woman who likes to be.. in charge," Katie says, using air quotes. "Where the other person is submissive. Sometimes punished for pleasure. And I'm pretty sure there's sometimes bondage and tight leather clothes and whips.."
Tasha looks somewhere between perplexed and intrigued. "I don't know about this," she admits, or maybe realizes. "Is this why everyone wanted to paint me holding my whip?"
And then Tasha makes a connection, possibly like two trains colliding is a connection. "In charge ... You mean like you?" She blinks. "You're always in charge, even when you're not."
"No... not that sort of being in charge..." Katie says, and looks thoughtful. "It's not about just giving orders, because the other person has to want to be ordered around, I think. It only works if that's the case. I can see a very restrained, small person like Liza wanted to do things like that though. I hadn't even realized she'd hooked up with Aaron, that's how discreet she is."
"I didn't /either/ until she told me she was pregnant. Maybe we should make /her/ our spy master." Tasha rubs her muzzle at all this new information about something she thought she knew very well, both people and actions. "So it's like when I get Gabriel to pin me down and growl at me? And/ bite my scruff. he spanked me /once/ but he looked so awkward we didn't do that again."
"He spanked you?" Katie asks, ears high. "For fun or because you did something naughty?"
"Often, these are the same things," Tasha admits, looking elsewhere. "I might have jumped in his lap when he was asleep to surprise him but then I startled him, he jumped I fell over and ended up across his lap, he saw me, I smiled and waved and then he swatted me." Tasha rubs her butt self-conciously, but also at the memory. "I yelped and I think I must have looked off because he looked guilty and helped me up immediately. I was just surprised but I felt bad for my own surprise failing and I as just happy to move on." She then nods. "I think he must realize what happened by now, as I do. I like tease him and push him to unwind and let go a little regularly, but it's taken time for him to be comfortable with that and for me to be comfortable showing it to him."
Katie also rubs the same spot on Tasha's butt. "Doesn't feel any different," she notes. "Not nearly tenderized."
Tasha's tail reacts by wagging. "Oh he'd never really hurt me," Tasha insists. "Some biting, some growling, but you know, he'd feel guilty if he went too far. That's part of why I trust him so much. He is a good man." Tasha props her head up and looks over. "Even if you're not interested in him, you should learn to trust him. He can teach you a lot and he won't betray that trust."
Katie pinches, to make extra certain of firmness or lack thereof. "So, you're suggesting a threesome?"
Tasha yelps, which causes her tail to lash for a moment and her wings to flare; a dangerous event! She rolls over on to her side and makes a mock-wounded face, then pulls herself over and lays her head in Katie's lap. "I'm not falling for that Miss Vesuvius. You're more likely to sleep with Mel and I than Gabriel."
"Oh, I might if it's.. all of us. And I'm still playing with you at the same time," Katie offers.
Tasha squints at this, a clear searching for teasing and half-truths. "But you juuust said you have no interest in men," she insists. "Or Hake, or most people on the ship. Why now, why everyone?" She then mock-gasps. "Are you going to try and assert your claim over me in front of everyone? How mischievous."
"Noooo, it's just that it's different if you're there," Katie claims.
"So I make everything better? Or is it sexier?" Tasha perks her ears; seductive minds want to know. "You don't have to, yo know. I want think any less of you if you just want it to be the two of us. It might even kill Kaa if it's all of us."
"It's more that I can focus on you and not think about the rest," Katie says. "I've been with you and Gabriel before.. we just both focused on you."
"It's very overwhelming," Tasha admits, sounding as overwhelmed as her eyes are wide. Katherine remembers Tasha doesn't last long if they're not careful, which given her experience seems more derived from the intensity of her partners than her own lack of restraint. "Not that I mind. I like overwhelming. It's just very ... " Her eyes widen more. "Overwhelming." Considering she's somehow more Human now, it's likely she's considering that new element.
"If Yue can handle being.. whatevered.. by rabbits you can probably hold out with just two Karnors," Katie claims. "Even though one of us will be resting up while the other gets you." Katie smiles and makes grabby clawing motions.
Tasha recoils in suitable mock-fear, ears flattening, tail curling in, and wings closing. "And now it seems like Liza wants to try it too. Do you think it's because I'm less intimidating now?" She's also quieter and somehow less aggressive, as if having a body that's smaller and cute has subtly redirected her behavior.
"I though she already did that to you when you first met?" Katie asks. "She was a maid or something?"
"It was more of ... Well, no, that's not how it happened at all." Tasha uncoils, sitting up and across from Katie, tail flicking in to her hands where she idly plays with it. "I had been in Titania to investigate the Titanic, which is what people called an old ship on Sinai. I was staying at the nicest hotel in the area. Liza was the maid they assigned to me, and I realized I could really use a maid, so I offered to hire her and she accepted. That's really all that happened. I thought maybe she was in to it later but I misinterpreted. I apologized and never tried again; it's when i realized I had to be very careful with my employees."
"I assumed she was a full-service maid," Katie admits. "I mean she seemed to know what she was doing when I had her and Aaron tickle you when I tied you to that tree."
"Watching was kinda exciting," the Karnor adds.
"She was a ship's tail before -- a kind of ship board prostitute. But she wanted to be more, and I respected tha. I know what it feels like." Tasha pats her chest emphatically. Then her brows go up. "Was it?"
"And watching you and Gabriel," Katie further admits. "Might be some pack instinct thing.. or just me. But Liza hardly has any tail, just that poof."
"It's some kind of old saying," Tasha explains, shrugging. "Terra and the other worlds all have ages of old sayings no one knows the source of anymore. I have a hundred old Terran sayings in my head now I have limited reference for." And so she shakes her head. "But I can see how it'd be exciting. Don't tell her but ... " And here Tasha leans in. "I thought it was exciting, too. Aaron was the complication. My relationship with him is complicated and it got too close to endangering my promise to Gabriel."
"Yeah, he looked like he was being very careful for that," Katie says. "Like maybe he had second thoughts after things started."
"Knowing him, he did. We'd have both regretted it." Tasha spreads her hands, and her tail shrugs with them. "It's not that I'm strictly against the idea, but I made a promise, and I mean to keep it. Now, if Gabriel wanted it to happen, that'd be different. Like, maybe he wanted to try being with Moka, or me with Kaa, because he liked the idea. then I would. But not otherwise."
"He's already got you and Hakeber though," Katie says, in a tone that implies that should be plenty for one wolf. "And it's not like we're all going to end up in a pile at once where we might lose track of who is who."
"I think even hake and I are a bit much for him. The world he came from is very different from mine, though even my home would have looked in askance at what I do. It was only in darker, ore removed areas that we could be ourselves." Tasha cocks her head. "I'm sure you know what I mean. Not that wealthy men with multiple partners was rare, but women? That was rare. It depended a lot on species too. For Vartans it was very common, especially on the surface. Surface Karnors -- Jupani -- had it, too. But not in Rephidim."
"What's the difference between the surface and flying islands?" Katie asks. "You are going to give me the grand tour at some point, aren't you?"
Tasha looks hesitant, looking around, bur then turning back to nod. "Bear in mind our power base does not extend well in to Sinai, and the Sifra may well be still watching their world. I have to be cautious about how often I return. That said, it's not a peaceful, idyllic paradise, but it is as nice a world as we've found so far. As for the islands, well," she spreads her hands, " ... there's only one of note, really. The rest are oddities, or navigational hazards. Rephidim is where the Ark landed, and from the Ark came all species who had not already been. It is the nominal seat of governance of the world, often indirectly and grudgingly. It is also the cultural center of the world, and a center for trade. The surface is much more diverse, and less of a 'melting pot,' and to me seemed more focused and unique, but less civilized in many cases. Not all, but many."
"Less civilized than Abbadon?" Katie asks. "And I don't mean technology-wise, but culturally. Constant warfare and the like."
"Well technology is a big part of it, but yes, warfare was and is common. Rephidim was attacked by Babel several years ago, and we were lucky to be at sail when it happened -- large swaths of the city were devastated and even the nobility suffered causalities." Her head shakes again, this time sadly. "Ages ago the Empire of Hands tried to dominate the world through magic and cursed an entire continental swath to swallowing desert. They were conquered in turn and it's why Silent Ones were slaves until just years ago. Histories suggest a major event south of Bosch caused a catastrophe, and Bosch fights the Titanians more or less constantly. There's bandits and sky pirates, cuthroats, murderers ... The Assassin's Guild was decimated a few years before the attack, and Faraon the Friend -- a major crime boss -- had also been killed some time later. From what I know of my world, these things happen in every age."
"Sounds a lot more exciting then our wars and skirmishes," Katie says. "But that's just perspective. On Abbadon it's always 'we have an ultimate weapon now, so we're declaring war' and it never pans out. And the skirmishes were like.. every other week for awhile. It was only the collapse from within of the Confederate Life Dome and the appearance of the Pit of Himaar that shook things up enough for everyone to take a step back. And then Celestial Life Dome.. event.. to boot. Oh, and someone bring back a spaceship."
"I don't think the Gateway Tower even had as big an impact," she continues. "That was just something to fight over, like the Pit."
"Hey, I just realized I have an ultimate weapon. I really should get back to conquering Abaddon like that newspaper thought I was. I've been meaning to, but I've been so busy." Tasha throws her hands up and spreads her fingers, palms up; who has the time to conquer anymore.
"Yeah, blowing up Tesla was pretty.. shocking," Katie teases.
Tasha takes a gentle swat at Katie for that one. "I'm sad I didn't get to fight enough with Mel. I suppose I'll need to do so more often now. Do you think a Titan can work with magic? Balthsar worked with magic. And lead. At least leading from Mel is a lot more workable even than fighting with him."
"I'm still trying to get my head around Thoth and Sam's lesson on magic," Katie claims. "The only one here that seems to know much about Sinai magic is Aaron, and he doesn't understand enough about science to be much of a bridge on the subject. All I really know is it uses up rare ingredients that he got paid a lot of money to go find at great risk to life and limb."
"Sinaian magic is really Sifran magic, which is Wizardry. Very high level Wizardry. As a spy once told me, the Sifra would kill every mage if they knew what was going on. It's some sort ... hack, or failure of the system's security, that allows anyone to use it. It's like how I use my datapad, I don't know how it works, I just push the right buttons and I get results. I don't think Sinaian mages understand it any better than that -- they're just very good at pressing the buttons." Tasha taps her nose. "Oldest of the Old Ones. The Sifra were more than a match for the beings who built this vessel. We're not like to understand their magic, they would be geniuses of the highest order, or inherently able to perform vast and complex science. Their crystals are likely some form of living, willful matter. Don't let the trappings of my world fool you to what it really all is."
"I didn't like the notion that our world.. our worlds.. were artifacts," Katie says, shaking her head. "But it hasn't been any different out here. "They're either obviously artificial, or else too fine-tuned for comfort."
"It's a universe of ruins," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. "Sometimes I think I'd like to get back to exploring the ruins rather than hunting the monsters, but one thing has priority over the other. Not that we can't do both." And so Tasha smiles. "But I don't think we'll need to try our hand at Wizardry. The only practitioner that could do it would be me, and that's only because I have Mel to offload the tremendous metal calculations needed -- and we don't know if he can do it. I think you idea of finding ourselves a Patron is more likely. There's also Alchemy, and I don't know what that demands of us."
"Rare ingredients that cost a lot of money or require risking life and limb to procure," Katie suggests. "If it's anything like the legendary alchemy - I did do some research. But it's got secret rituals and everything was in code like that poem of yours."
"It seems greatly interested in refinement and transmutation, of purification. This isn't very surprising now that we know the effort was intended to generate vril, but it also seems to have lead to the sciences, so we can deduce it's a method that is science-like and deals with refinement of self and material." It seems Katie wasn't the only one doing research. "It may be of use in assisting our more scientific approaches, or of helping refine us."
"If it helps understand Galactic tech that would be nice as well," Katie says, and sighs. "I can understand some of the stuff on the ship, because it's Expedition era, but then it's all simulated somehow. And the new stuff is absolutely opaque. I can't really understand any of what Hera and Soshelle get into discussions about. Even Moka leaves me in the dust."
"I feel the same way," Tasha admits, ears going back. "Even Moka. The Galactics are born around all of this, and what's more their education is, well, light years beyond ours. They use all kinds of advanced learning methods, direct mind edits, teaching programs, deep learning, and more. I received a lot of it when I re-founded the JEF and I'd be even more lost if I didn't have it, to say nothing of Nora's memories. Without those I'd just be some backwater planet bumpkin goggling at everything."
"So what are you now then?" Katie asks with a smirk. "You seemed pretty goggly when I first saw you."
"An extremely advanced goggler. I am to mere gogglers as Galactic technology is to Sinaian," Tasha insists, sitting up proudly. "And besides, I know secrets now that even Galactics don't know. I'm no longer just a small player in a big game. I am a smaller player in a big game with big secrets and bigger friends, and that makes me bigger than I am."
"You're actually slightly smaller than you were before," Katie points out. "I bet I can pick you up.."
"I-I am?" Tasha asks, aghast. "Am I smaller than Hake now?" She could be quite easily grabbed in this state of direction.
So Katie grabs Tasha under her shoulders and tries to lift her up. Of course, Katie probably could lift up Hakeber pretty easily. But she has some difficulty with Tasha. "You are not balanced like I expected," she notes, having to put Tasha back down quickly before tipping over. "It's the wings I think. You don't have as much counterweight as you used to."
"I think I doo--" And so Tasha hooks her own hands under Katie's arms and uses her leverage falling to try and pull Katherine down with her!
Katie's mattress is set to a higher firmness than expected, so there's almost a bounce when they hit it. "Aargh! Tash-fu, the martial art that is my only weakness!" Katie claims.
Tasha responds to this by wrapping her arms around Katie, pulling her fully on to the bed, mantling her wings around her, wrapping her legs around her as well, and then also wrapping her tail -- this last contribution of dubious utility. "Everyone thinks I'm harmless until pow I got'cha, then it's too late!" And so Katie gets a very big, full-body hug. Tasha doesn't even try anything! She just hugs.
"Well, your hugs haven't changed all that much," Katie notes and licks Tasha's nose. "My jumpsuit protects me from wing-tickles though!"
"But not from much else," Tasha insists, using the moment to snuggle up closer. For a moment there's that look in her eye that Katie knows all to well, but then she takes a deep breath, looks upward -- which for her at the moment is wall-ward -- exhales and then smiles at the other woman. "I am trying to think more about other people and less about sex, or only sex. I am trying to know more about the people around me and work out the issues I was avoiding," she says in a very straightforward way, which may be more surprising than the pulldown hug.
"You were avoiding issues with me?" Katie asks.
"Ohhhh well you know," Tasha begins, looking elsewhere suddenly. "It's so very easy to pretend not to see things or to avoid issues you'd rather not deal with. Like how Hake seemed to be avoiding something, Lacci's troubles, Shojo's inner turmoil and uncertainty, Liza's secrets, and more besides. You seemed to have your own worries and I didn't know what they were, so I thought maybe I was just too busy for it all."
"You mean you've been avoiding me?" Katie asks, her voice flattening a bit.
"I've been avoiding everyone," Tasha admits, still looking elsewhere. "And when you're, upset, you can be rather intimidating." She chews her lip a moment, then shrugs. "I don't exactly ahve a great deal of experience in dealing with long-term relationships or leading. It was a lot easier when it was just me, Miss Nobody, being some small low-level member trying to fit in, but now that I'm central it's been ... consuming."
"I suppose the saying is 'too big for your britches' but they're actually looser on you now," Katie says, and just relaxes atop Tasha. "It's hard to step back from the crushing responsibility at times. That's why I'm here, to get away from that. It's always hard when you're stuck in a role, even if it's one you wanted."
"It ism" Tasha agrees, knowing the feeling very well by now. "And to think I handed over leadership to Gabriel because I didn't feel ready, and now I'm leading of my own choice." She gives a little shake of the head. "I'm still not sure how to deal with it, and here I've also gone and given you a role of responsibility, and Gabriel, so now he has two." The red woman tilts her head, brows knitting, ears canting. "Am I doing the right thing, Katie? What does the Heart say?"
"I say that it's too early to deal with it," Katie replies. "Nothing is going to get done until we're back.. somewhere. Somewhere we can run off screaming if we need to. None of us are at our best right now."
"No, I don't think we are," Tasha agrees, sighing at the idea that she lead everyone here to endure this. "But no one has asked to leave except Liza and Aaron, at least, and they for reasons other than what's happened. Even Lacci, who has begun to understand the world she's in now, hasn't said anything about leaving."
"Well, you wouldn't say anything during the voyage," Katie points out. "Not when you're stuck with everyone until we reach port again. It would be awkward. But I doubt Lacci can just go back to her old life after this."
"No, you really can't." Tasha chews her lip, then admits, "It was the same for me. Once Nora showed me the truth, I could never go back home. I had to keep chasing it and chasing it. Hake-bear is the same way, and she started when she was just a girl. All of us are chasing something, all of us have nowhere else to belong. That's why we're out here."
"I'm pretty sure Kaa just wants to fly around," Katie says. "And I don't know what the Jotoki think. They're each.. five people with a shared brain? Is that how it works?"
"They form a kind of linked mind and so become sentient, so it's more like five proto-people that come together and form a person. Before they're more like animals, not unlike what we were made from." Tasha untwines a hand to show Katie, then brings her fingers together. "And the components shape the whole, but they're more than the whole. In many ways they're most like me, people lost in a wondrous and terrifying new world. I'd probably be just like them without Nora's memories, the memories gave me context, familiarity, and nostalgia. That's why I've stayed back from them, to let them grow and see without me guiding them to it. I don't pine for my home world, so I wouldn't want to share much, either." She thinks for a moemnt, then adds, "They're here to understand and to find where they came from. In that sense, they're the busiest people on board."
"Another responsibility then, if we're going to find their home world," Katie notes. "But at least that shouldn't involve cosmic monsters."
"We can hope," Tasha says, somewhat ominously. "And at least all the monsters aren't so bad, are they? Sam's okay. Thoth's basically orange fire in a bird-suit. Even I have a piece of what makes up Sam in me, and I'm only mildly concerning. The universe does, after all, have many planets."
"And all the good ones were moved from someplace else, or scraped down the bedrock and built up again like a garden, or horrific hell-worlds with crazy people homesteading on them," Katie says, and rolls her eyes. "Giant. Robot. Worms. Fake trees and soil and cities over a thin skin of reality floating on a soul-eating monster. Worlds flying through the void for.. whatever reason."
"I really don't get along with Wizards, do I," Tasha remarks of the last one, head propping on her knuckles. "I hope this isn't a rend. Tasha Versus the Wizards could be the title of my next comic appearance."
"Hey, don't knock the comic," Katie says, and pokes Tasha. "It was a big hit. We did really well with it."
Tasha puts up her hands, ears canting outward. "I wasn't! I was knocking myself! I like the comic!"
"Damn right you do," Katie agrees. "I never got to see the scripts for the rest of the series though."
"Maybe when we get back?" Tasha arches an eyebrow. "Although I wonder if it'll still sell with me looking like this. Though, I want to see how it goes, too, even if it is about a stylized version of me. Maybe I should sign them? Do you think the ... Galactic press? Can that be right? ... Would enjoy comics?"
"Apparently they're still just a Terran thing," Katie says. "Sequential Art was either never a thing among the Galactics or was just quickly replaced by the ability to create live, interactive art without much effort."
Tasha nods to this. "Their entertainments are very attractive," she admits. "I've watched a few of them and I don't exactly understand what they're all about, but they're entertaining. Speaking of entertaining and Galactic entertainment, what do you watch in that headset of yours?"
"Concerts," Katie says. "Those are still performed live. Not a lot of Galactic stars though. All very culture specific. Also just a lot of travelogues from different worlds."
"Anything or anyone interesting? Anyone we need to seduce to join us on a pan-galactic adventure full of horror and sometimes less horror?" Tasha perks her ears. "Any fun places? Something about Ymir maybe?"
"Actually.. I don't get a lot of the current style of music, and that's just the Terran stuff. The Celestials do something that sounds like they're being tortured, or else they're doing snake jazz. As for worlds, a lot of them are Terra ones, because I'm interested in the home world. There isn't a lot of interest in wilderness tours. Plenty of cities though."
"Have you looked at Terra?" Tasha says with with a hint of awe, even trepidation. She realize it may well be Nora's memories that have made her hesitant to learn any solid fact about Terra of her own volition, some complexity of memory that isn't her's and the intensity of the emotion all TerraGens have towards their home world. The mixed experience all early Karnors had. And for Tasha, her own mixed emotions as a combination of both the native and the foreign. "I've, um, not really looked in to details."
"Terrans produce a lot of media," Katie says. "Even now it's their main Galactic export. Phins can get pay for things with poetry. I can't even grasp that. The Library Galactics, as I think of them, don't produce art at all in relation. Or if they do, they don't share it. I expected the Confederates to be more open about their culture and art.. but they're just as closed off as the Silent-Ones."
"Oh, that reminds me -- I think I impressed Thoth," Tasha says in a mix of both the tone of one about to gossip and one sharing a great triumph. "I told him I think maybe the Confederates didn't uplift their ships, that maybe their ships uplifted them." She arches her brows in a 'ah-ha' manner. "I've never seen him look so impressed."
"Their ships?" Katie asks. "What are they like inside?"
"Organic. But they're AI-like and of considerably greater intelligence than their passengers. We think they may be the descendants of a previous Galactic civilization, or else the product of vessels who are themselves descendants," Tasha explains. "It would be why no one has discovered much about them, and why their development seems so specialized. How does a civilization focus so much on organic technology and not also develop more conventional technology? Terra didn't do that, We don't do it on Sinai. The Jotoki don't. No civilization I know of does it except them, almost s if they had a hand up by a civilization focused in biological technologies."
"Hmm, that's a good angle," Katie agrees. "Have you asked either of the Eeee on board?"
"I don't think the great and mighty history of a Galactic civilization is shared with just anyone," Tasha notes, head tilting and brow arching. "You don't keep a secret like that by sharing it. If anyone knows it'd be the eldest vessels, and they'd have kept it for a reason. If I share my idea with them I might just get them killed."
"That would make it hard to prove or disprove then, if you can't actually look into it," Katie points out. "Are you going to ask the Tadpole's mom?"
"I think so," Tasha replies, reaching over to play with Katie's hair by twisting it around her right hand's pointer finger and watching as it bounces back. "She's most likely to answer me, or at least show alarm and sequester me off where I can be managed by the secret committee."
"Have you considered that you might have caught conspiracy-itis from Aaron?" Katie has to ask, grinning as Tasha plays with her hair.
Tasha catches the grin, grins back, then tugs at the hair with her teeth a moment before letting go. "Maybe," she answers, sounding amused. "But I would like to point out we're in a secret god-slaying starship with the father of alchemy, an actual demon, another actual demon, a lost starship captain, and an ancient civilization." And so Tasha swats at the hair with a finger tip. "So maybe conspiracies are my life? I am multiple conspiracies by now. "
"Ah, I don't know if you are a mystery at this point though," Katie claims. "Well, not to me, because I'm in your other secret cabal. Or coven? Cabal is more conspiratorial."
Tasha scoots up a bit and holds her hands out in roughly a square. "See," she begins, tapping the square together, "the whole thing is the Cabal. The Shadow side is the Coven, and the Alchemy side is the Order. Together it is the Cabal of the Rose, the Order of the Rose, and the Coven of the Rose. We'll get pins when our new uniforms are ready." And then Tasha points both her pointer fingers at Katie. "You're a witch now by the way."
"Only now?" Katie asks and grins a bit more sinisterly. "That was almost my military codename. But I got stuck with Cheerleader."
"That's so cute," tasha enthuses, going squeely about it and fluffing up Katie's cheeks. She grins and notes, "Mine is Black Rook. Rook's are birds, but it's actually a castle that can protect the king." She then blinks, tilts her head, and purses her lips. "I suppose the king will need to protect the castle now. As will you."
"You're a petite castle though," Katie claims, and ruffles up Tasha's hair in retaliation for her cheeks.
This makes Tasha look like one of those strange messy haired fairy dolls from Katie's childhood. "What do you think of how I look?" She frames her head with her hands. It doesn't help; now she looks boxed.
"Well, you could wear some little cannons in your hair.. Oh, you mean in general?" Katie asks. "You look pretty. Before.. you were attractive, but this is different. You seem exotic but.. not like you were before, either."
"That is very vague." It's an uncanny mimicry of Charon's remote, even if it's in the alien's own voice. She studies Katie for a moment, then asks, "Are you concerned I'm too delicate or not aggressive anymore?"
"Concerned? No," Katie says. "People change over time like that. I'm just.. older.. so expect it I suppose."
"My old, wise witch." Tasha then ruffles up Katie's cheeks. "You know, ... I like older women."
"Well, younger ones would be too young," Katie teases.
"See? Very wise." Tasha nods, then laughs. She then blinks, and suddenly she has a serious look. "Speaking of younger women, I really am thinking of offering to take care of Mariel. I miss her. She's probably safer and better off far from me, but I feel like I have to offer. Because I want to and because I should."
"Well.. she won't be a baby at least," Katie says. "What does Gabriel think? I mean.. he knew her longest, maybe he was already a father figure for her?"
Tasha scoots up a bit, then sits up. "I think Mariel makes him uncomfortable. Deep down he feels like he failed her, failed all of them. And she was always there to fit a role, not for her ability, which is fine. She was there to play omega. She wasn't one of the Elite. To say his feelings are mixed would be an understatement."
"Wow, the first generation really was that stratified then?" Katie asks. "Maybe he'll jump at the second chance. What will it be like with the others though? They're all eventually.. coming back, right?"
"Fred's like a smarter, more machine-oriented, male, me. Not like how Sam is a male me, but in personality. He and I get along just fine and I think you'd like him. Nora is a Elite Alpha, so like Gabriel but with more to prove and an adventurous spirit. Like I said, I can't take care of her. But ... " Tasha taps her muzzle, then peers at Katie. "Maybe you would like to? I think she'd listen to you. You two are similar, but also very different in a way Nora isn't used to. Karnor celebrities didn't exist back then. You're a new kind of alpha wolf."
"I wouldn't say I'm an alpha," Katie claims, shaking her head. "I don't lead. I influence, but not by my own design. I take orders. I'm not.. bossy. Am I?"
"Nooo," Tasha hedges, head tilting and arms folding, hand fingers tapping the side of her head as she considers. "Not how Nora is. She can be bossy. It's more that you have ... " Her fingers wiggle, then her brows go up. "Presence. You have presence. You expect agreement and submission without ever having to ask. It's like a Katie Field. And since you're also an order-taker, you sort of radiate the authority behind you. Like a ... lense focusing a laser. I think Nora isn't used to that. Early Karnors were more stratified, their roles were more simple, and they all followed."
"Oh god, that sounds like I really am Katie Kaboom!" Katie laughs. "I do like to show off, and be shiny. I don't know if your Nora would appreciate that. She sounds scary. I'm not scary! Well.. I don't know if Hakeber is scared of me. The rabbits aren't though, so.. I can't be scary. That's the proof, right?" She turns more to face Tasha and asks, "Was I scary to you?"
"The rabbits are scared of everything, so they're not scared of anything," Tasha explains, spreading her hands. "It's the great secret of lapis everywhere which I just figured out after being a Human. Don't tell anyone." Tasha pits a finger to her muzzle; shh. Then her ears perk and she looks elsewhere, "Wellll, for me you were like this person I could never be around and who wasn't suppose to even notice me. Hake brought me to see you, and I was having a wonderful time being reminded that there's still a civilized world that had people bigger than me, and I could be nobody for a little while, and we both put you on a kind of pedestal where you were very high, and it created a kind of ambiance or fantasy. It's hard to explain, i'd never met a star before. We don't have them, not like Abaddon does." She pulls in a breath, exhales, and gives a little shrug. "Your being interested in me wasn't part of any plan or prediction I had. Didn't I seem overwhelmed?"
"And after all the shininess was washed off of me?" Katie asks.
"Still kind of intimidating," Tasha admits, shrugging and grinning, as she looks off. "Especially when you're in a bad mood. Katie Field radiation intensity can reach dangerous levels of Kativins in certain circumstances." And then she looks back. "But, you're not as scary as I think everyone thinks you are. A lot of that was image. Image can have a life of it's own, something I learned from interacting with gods."
"And being in a comic book?" Katie asks. "So.. purely out of egotistic curiosity; how do I stack up against the gods in terms of maintaining my image?"
Tasha consider this. "Well having you here around me with messy hair and grumpy we don't have meat -- a valid reason to be grumpy -- does ever so slightly bring you down to mortal standards," Tasha admits, shrugging; what can you do. "But that also applies to Thoth, even to Horus. Nora had a saying for this, what is it, familiarity breeds contemplation? Consider-- Contempt, it breeds contempt. I don't contempt, but images are always distant, always resilient, they're memetic, but people and beings are fact. And nothing ruins image like fact -- unless it's al true of course." She winks. "Or if you're memetic."
"I don't know that I'm not memetic," Katie claims. "But those other gods didn't have Mr. Invention and Miss Necessity helping them out."
"Those two seem memetic, as if they're the civilized, hyper-stylized, urban version of faeries. And better faeries than I am." tasha heads shakes. "To think they might be focused on me soon. I am a little afraid." She lays a hand over her heart. "And I don't mean to disappoint you but Mr. I. intimidates me even more than you do."
"I've never heard him raise his voice," Katie says and shudders. "I don't know why that scares me. Maybe he's something like Thoth or Sam?"
"A Competency Spirit?" Tasha shudders. "If so, I'm doomed. More doomed, I mean. he's going to see how I do things and that'll be it for me."
"No.. I think he's just a god of some sort," Katie says. "And I'm his high priestess.. or sacrifice or something. Should we ask him for a marker?" Katie asks, waggling her eyebrows before laughing.
"He has them. They're his business cards." Tasha inhales deeply, though. "He really will make me just so, won't he? More so than Liza ever could?"
"Well.. that depends," Katie says, raising a finger. "Liza just.. refined you a bit, I suppose? Mr. Invention will give you what you need to become what you want, but there's always a cost. Namely all the things you end up sacrificing to get there. So you have to be very careful about what you want."
Tasha's face goes in to her hands. She doesn't even say what she wants, she immediately goes head-in-hands.
And then she flops over.
"Or you could just not ask him," Katie says, spreading her hands. "He's not exactly a genie."
"Or IS he," Tasha asks ominously. She lowers her hands, peeking past them. "I'll probably need to work out what I want. As the Will I needn't be too stand-in-front, but there's surely room for improvement in how I conduct myself."
"Well... that also depends.." Katie claims. "Do you mean how you present yourself? Like me? I'm very different at formal occasions than.. well, when I'm not."
"Well, that, and internally. I do lead, and if we grow, I may not be as close to everyone as I am now. I may have employees, or soldiers, and I need to live up to their ideas of me." Tasha drops her hands, perhaps thinking ideals of leadership do not well condone hiding behind one's hands. "And I'll have duties to the Cabal, and to whatever Sponsors I enlist. They may have their own conduct needs of me."
"What makes you think you have to change to lead?" Katie asks.
"Uhhh," goes Tasha, who hadn't anticipated the question; her ears splay, "Dooo you think my current leadership style is enough?" She peers, really peers, at Katie.
"Think of it this way," Katie replies. "You don't need to worry about details. You come up with a direction, and Gabriel and I make it happen. You aren't really leading, see? You don't have to come up with a grand plan, just work out the goals to reach for."
"And when we think there's something that requires your attention, we'll let you know," she adds.
"So I'm like ... weather," Tasha muses, rubbing her chin in that excessively ponderative manner. "Leadership weather."
"Okay more like leadership computer." Tasha leans back. "Directive. Determined. Attack. Porblem-hem. Exceute." She waves her hands around like one of those queer holovid show robots the Titanians dig up somewhere.
"Well, more like we'll all sit down and work it out together," Katie amends.
"Negative. Must. Sleep more." Tasha waves her hands around some more, then flops over and grins. "You did say I shouldn't change, before you point out I'm not helping."
"I figured you'd have gotten enough sleep by now," Katie says, and pokes Tasha's side. "Are you sure Persephone didn't mix some cat in with the rest? Or dragon? Dragons sleep for decades in the myths. I figured they were like cats built to military spec anyway."
This causes Tasha to squirm, then scoot back a little before she answers. "I don't think Persephone mixed in any other species, but I don't look perfectly Karnor or perfectly Vartan, now, do I?" She sits up and runs her hands over her head and hair. "Dragon? Charon seemed very active and didn't sleep at all. Neither did crystal-mom. I don't think she added something new." And so the young woman examines herself all over again, for perhaps the hundredth time.
"Well, maybe the horns and scales will grow out later," Katie suggests playfully.
"And so I just get stranger," Tasha mock-laments," head shaking. She sits up again and then lays her hands in her lap, leaning forward. "but to be serious, I'll do what you say. In fact, we should discuss how deep we want to bring Mr. I. in. And what we think he could do for me, or us, or both."
"Well, you want a security force, and I'd leave that to him," Katie says. "If anyone has experience dealing with mercenaries on a professional level it will be him."
"Then we'll do that. I think he'd make a good seneschal; on Sinai, the role usually means an overseer of domestic affairs of a noble house, great house, or other large, powerful family. They do everything from handle maid staff to provisioning to, well, they do a lot. It's a powerful position with a lot of responsibility, he'd be highly placed in a major office," Tasha suggests, spreading her hands. "What do you think? Including security isn't hard to add to that, and it's 'security of the house' even as we use it for offensive purposes."
"He's already running our business," Katie notes. "I sometimes forget we are one. So the rest should be easy for him."
"Majordomo or steward are variations, sometimes the same role," Tasha adds, showing off her now extensive vocabulary. And so she nods. "A steward or majordomo can be business officials as well. he basically speaks with our voice in domestic affairs, but also in whatever affairs we charge him with. I feel like any lesser office would insult him."
"I wouldn't give him a title like that, or lock him into the role," Katie suggests. "He needs to work freely I think."
"It's just something he can use when he wants to be official," Tasha notes, shrugging her shoulders, "Just like how I'm the owner or leader, but I don't use my title openly very often, unless i need it. It's a power we give him for him to use when it's useful."
"I just can't picture somebody asking him what sort of authority he has," Katie admits. "I assumed he was my manager. But I could just as well been his cover."
"He's very mysterious that way," Tasha agrees, glancing towards the door and, presumably, the eventual meeting with the man. "That he came with us so easily suggests he'd be ordered here. That suggests his authority would extend to the realm of TerraGens agents."
"If there's one embedded in the Knights Templar, there has to be a few in the Expedition," Katie says, and then pouts. "I was never recruited. That hardly seems fair."
"Maybe they were still testing you?" Tasha then rolls her shoulders in a shrug. "They never asked me either, but I suppose I'm more of an event these days than an investigator." She then tilts her head. "I do wonder why they never approached you, or us. Or Gabriel?" Her ears twitch. "Do you think TerraGens command talked to Gabriel?"
"Maybe because we already have an Agent?" Katie suggests. "Even though she just seems to tag along. But she got us onto Praxafallopus with her credentials."
"It's very curious, what they think of us. There's going to be a lot of raised Human eyebrows when we get back, if Yue reports what happened. Which asks the question, is Yue more loyal to us than to the TerraGens council? An uncomfortable question." Tasha 's head shakes. "Not that I expect absolute loyalty, if I did we'd have a lot less crew members. I have hoped she acts as a buffer between us and Galactic ire."
"That's all assuming she hasn't been driven insane by Licks-the-hem or the rabbits," Katie says. A moment later she adds, "I want a bath."
"We'll need a replacement Human," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. She sobers somewhat, then adds, "I'll miss her. I hope she'll be alright." She lets that linger a moment in a kind of moment of silence, then perks her ears and adds, "Well I'm not a cat but I'll try."
"Not that kind of bath," Katie says and gives Tasha a playful swat. "One with hot swirling water and pleasantly scented soaps and a scalp massage."
Tasha yelps suitably, rubbing her butt, but then she springs up fast enough to bounce. "Lets head to my quarters then, I have the second best bathtub on the ship."
"The Phins' quarters don't count as a bathtub," Katie points out, and shimmies out of her overalls first.
Tasha hops off the bed and makes for the door, waiting there patiently. "I'm sure they'd disagree. Kaa would never pass up the chance to be the best at anything."
"Well, I'm not about to challenge him to anything," Katie says once she's down to her underwear. "Lead on, oh Will!"
Tasha peeks outside to make sure no one's lingering, then heads out herself and heads for her quarters. Luckily, it's only a short walk, as the ship is not large and her own area is on the same deck.
The door to the bathroom is closed, but there are some clothes on the floor outside of it that are too small to be Tasha's.
"Someone had better not have commandeered my bathroom. I know I have an open-door policy but it's not an open-tub policy." And so Tasha pushes her way inside, ready to lay down the the policy if need be.
There has been some splashing. No doubt caused by the very wet, very soaped up Kavi being held hostage in Liza's lap as she scrubs away at Reeka's fur. Yue and Aaron are also there, but they appear to be asleep against each other.
"Oh. Right. The Kavi." Tasha turns to shrug at Katie. "I did sort of order this, so I have only myself to blame here. Do you still want to use my tub?"
Katie is already shedding her underwear, and says, "If the masked menace isn't biting, then yes."
"I can't promise anything," Tasha admits, then it's her turn to get undressed. Short skirt, top, and robe all get neatly folded and put aside -- Liza is nearby after all -- and then Tasha follows Katherine in. "I really am glad I decided on a Emirate-sized bathing tub."
"I do like having plenty of water," Katie says as she eases in.
"Do you need washing as well, Tasha?" Liza asks.
"I am surprisingly clean today," Tasha insists, settling in. "Please see to Miss Volcano, Liza." The red woman eases back, crossing her legs and tucking her wings, her tail idly swoosh-splooshing the water like one might stir a coffee, except from the water side in to the air.
Liza dunks Reeka to rinse her off, causing the Kavi to sputter once she's let back up. Then she wades over to a surprised looking Katie.
The Kavi stays put at least, but does glare at Tasha for some reason. Yue opens her eyes briefly, then dozes back off against Aaron's shoulder.
"She's small, but quietly and adorably ferocious," Tasha insists, eyes closing as she gets comfortable. "How is Yue, Liza?" The alien woman either doesn't notice, or chooses not to notice, the glare.
"She hasn't been having night-terrors for awhile," Yue says, and Tasha hear's a squeak noise Katie. "So she's been catching up on sleep."
"We really need to get her to proper care. I just hope whomever she's going to speak with can produce it," Tasha sinks down a little lower, dipping her hair, then settling in again. "If they can't, we'll find something. Someone, somewhere."
There's another squeak, and Liza says, "There is someone she can see on Caltrop, supposedly."
"Then we'll see her there." And that's all Tasha can do for now, so she leave sit at that. If that fails, she'll talk to the others and develop a new plan. "And how are you and Aaron doing?"
"I'm feeling a bit more level-headed again," Liza says. "I'm afraid Aaron is mostly exhausted though. Otherwise he'd be awake and watching me soap up Ms. Vesuvius's breasts."
"We all love that," Tasha agrees, who remains sedately settled, and perhaps more surprising than anything, still close-eyed. "Does this mean there will be no tying up?" It shows how far she's come that Tasha can say it with a straight face and without so much as an ear twitch.
"Rainbow left already, but I can wake up Aaron and have him hold your hands behind your back if you like," Liza suggests. "It has been awhile since I gave you a proper bath."
"Now, now, we can't go and wake up Aaron. That would be ungrateful of me." Tasha tucks her wings and shifts her head to lay on the left one, looking, if possible, even more comfortable. "And you know full well Aaron musn't touch. You'll just torture the poor man, especially with how I am now."
"Err, I'd rather he not see me either," Katie admits. "This is actually very nice though."
"When I was working as a room hostess for guests, I built up a lot of experience," Liza says. "I assumed my skills at relaxation where what drew Tasha's attention."
"Yes the poor buck would seize up and pass away from excessive excitement. It'd be tragic," Tasha agrees, nodding slowly. "And poor Yue would be devastated." Tasha's ears do flick at the sugegstion it was 'relaxation skills' that drew Liza to her. "I felt I needed a maid. I'm not that bad." An eye opens, squintingly. "Am I?"
"You've changed, so I'd have to try again and see if you give me a promotion afterwards," Liza suggests.
"Aren't you retiring though?" Tasha eyes Liza, still squinting, as if unable to decide if she should resume relaxing. "And am I to belive you like me better like this?"
"I could do a lot with your new body," Liza says cryptically. "And I'm not about to give birth tomorrow you know."
"Now I know even more about Lapi." Tasha opens both eyes, but settles in again; a compromise. "I think someone likes my new body, Katie. I'm cuter and more approachable, but not bunny-like."
"I could design an entirely new wardrobe," Liza clarifies. "Something more playful." Katie's eyes go wide as one of the doe's hands slips under the water to give her a rather personal massage.
Tasha's eyes also go up; at last Liza is able to piece the veil of feigned distancing. "I'm not the only one who has changed lately, I see." She scootches around for a more direct view. "Teasing the predators, as Gabriel likes to say?"
"Do you want a massage as well?" Liza asks. "I've been getting a lot of practice on Yue. I'm better than Aaron, I think."
"You know I don't like asking my employees to do things like that. First it'll be you and then it'll be Lacci in a shiny one piece and then I'll lose all respectability." Tasha pulls in a breath, sitting up. "And I did say I wouldn't do that to you."
"I enjoy making people relaxed," Liza claims. "Although it did end up a bit more serious between me and Aaron. I don't think Yue is in love with either of us though. Non-Lapi don't usually grow that attached to Lapi."
"I must be the exception, I am surrounded by Lapi." Tasha tucks her wings and then folds her arms on them, laying her head on that arrangement, making her look a bit like the world's least intimidating gargoyle. "For my part, I'm trying very hard not to emulate a certain person by absuing people I have power over. And, I never did like the idea of paying for any kind of sex. There's just no emotion, no passion in it, or even struggle or chase -- and if that's gone, there's not much left for me."
"Mmmm...nnnn," is Katie's comment on it all, as she slowly melts.
"Of course when you just do that to my girlfriend while I'm watching, that's different." Tasha 's eyes fixate, showing she's not so far from birdlike as it may appear. "Well it's not taking advantage if I watch, is it?"
"I just like to exert some power over predators," Liza claims, sounding innocent. "I'm pretty sure Aaron gets turned on by them though. I think he likes cats, but I prefer wolves and humans. They're less unpredictable."
"I don't understand why we even think about that now, aren't we all sentients? Gabriel told me only the very early Uplifts ever had a predator-prey problem, and that was fixed," Tasha notes, still watching but clearly splitting her attention between intellectualism and smut, eyes flicking, expression shifting between concentration and distraction. "How did we even learn about that on Sinai? I bet the Humans let it slip somehow, or maybe the early Karnors brought it up when the Ark was considering Uplifting everything."
"I still have an instinctual fear," Liza says. "Humans do too you know. They're afraid of wolves. We just have ways of dealing with it. My way doesn't involve making them wear pants."
Tasha perks up at the mention of Humans and their fears. "Is that what I was feeling? Fear of wolves?" She cocks her head to the side, shifting towards intellectualism, and then nods slowly. "I think so. It actually made some things more exciting, and other things much more intimidating. And then there was the practical concerns of not being cut on every little thing. Their way of thinking is very different."
"We bribed them," Yue mutters. "The wolves. Then bred them into dogs. Part of our evolution. That and killing things with jawbones. And the fire. Fire was a big part of it."
Tasha glances at Yue, concerned, but then nods slowly again. "Bribery does seem to go a long way with any kind of being," she agrees.
The woman's eyes are still closed, but she replies, "Conquest through cooking."
"And scratching behind ears?" Liza asks.
"Birds invented that," the human mutters.
""The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and that goes double for Karnors,"" Tasha quotes, one of Nora's stray memories about food. Terragens have a lot of quotes, she's found; very interested in what others have to say about something. "I do like ear scratching," she adds, being both wolf and bird, even if what kind and how remains a mystery.
"I bet it was really rabbits that invented it," Liza claims.
"I 'unno, mebbe," Katie mutters breathlessly.
"The way to take the glory for something that's not yours is to eat who invented it and claim it yourself," Tasha considers, grinning. "I wonder if I should go check on Sam."
"Does he cook?" Yue asks sleepily.
"I'm sure he can," Tasha answers, neutrally. She isn't about to chase that idea, not in front of Yue. "But I don't think anyone visits him."
"Always lurking over your shoulder," Yue sleep-claims.
"Lurking can be a fun pasttime," Tasha neutrals. She glances at Katie, then around, then stretches. "I think I'll get dressed and see what I can do around the ship."
This elicits a slightly panicked look from Katie. "Y-you'll come back for me, right?"
Tasha holds her hands out, palms up. "Consider this a learning experience; try to relax!" And then she smiles, reaching for a towel and patting herself off as she heads for her clothes.
"Ignore any howling you hear," Liza tells Tasha before she exits the bath.
"I always do." And then Tasha has her clothes and is making her way out, tail swaying like something other than a cat or wolf.
After using the dryer, Tasha is ready to dress for success - or for demon hunting, which is probably the same thing. Sam can be hard to find at times.
Tasha uses the skills available to her: prior knowledge, experience with Samael, and her mysterious eye. Samael usually lurks in one of two places, the Shuttle Bay or the Tadpole Bay, so she pauses for a moment to focus her senses and sweep her third eye's gaze towards these.
The shuttle bay is closer, of course.. she can see into with her normal eyes through the one-way window. But her other eye doesn't detect anything, which isn't particularly telling, since the bay is longer than the effective range of her shadow-sense. Sam could be curled up in the bell of one of the shuttle rocket engines.
It requires greater focus. Tasha sits in her office chair and does what she did before, focus her eye like a lance to the exclusion of other senses. By limiting the sweep, she hopes to at least ascertain if he's in the Shuttle Bay. She can then do the same with the Tadpole Bay after orienting herself.
Still nothing. So perhaps Sam isn't there after all.
Tasha tries the Tadpole Bay now, finding it easier if she sits down and stabilizes herself so she needn't worry about bumping in to things or falling over.
The problem this time is that she's trying to look through the Horse. This proves futile, as the Tatha-hem is the 'brightest' dark entity on the ship, and the Tadpole bay is more or less directly beneath the saddle.
This is vexing, but a more direct and less sneaky way occurs to her: She could just page him. She isn't sure why she even bothered with the other method in hindsight, thinking perhaps because it's new, or else because hunting demons is what she does and isn't paging one just a little banal?
"Tasha to Samael, if you're feeling social, please meet me in my Office," she sends across the intercom; that should do it.
There's no reply, but that isn't exactly unusual. Thoth hardly ever replies either.
And so Tasha leans back, hands behind her head, feet up on the window ledge and turns to stare off in to the Bay at nothing in particular. She'll be glad when this flat space is done, she decides.
There's a knock on the door to the office. Not a proper intercom buzz, but an actual knock.
Tasha taps the admittance button and adds a friendly, "Come in."
The door remains shut, and the knock comes again.
"If this is some kind of joke I don't see the point," Tasha mutters, pushing herself up and walking over to manually open the door -- manually!
The door opens on a pub. Tasha is certain it is a pub. It is full of strange aliens, including some that may or may not be decorative plants. The surfaces are metallic, or ceramic, or wood - or somehow all three combined. Their is a long multi-tiered edifice that is clearly the bar, but without a bartender. There are creatures no higher than Tasha's knee, and some that stand about twice her height, and bizarre tables and seats that allow for such disparate creatures to sit together. She doesn't understand the conversations, or what passed for music coming from a garishly illuminated pillar at one end that also projects psychadelic holograms in the air. But it's definitely a pub, and the figure seated at a corner booth is most certainly Samael.
Well this is new. No stranger to suddenly finding herself elsewhere, including elsewhen, elseself, and on a rare occasion, elseelse, where even the being of somewhere different is in itself different. This is one of the last of the list, making it, as she thought, new. Seeing Samael, she takes that as hew queue and turns to walk that way, trying to not look like a tourist in this new place -- a place that may not be anywhere at all. Until she knows the way of things, she's learned to try and fit in -- and fitting in would normally be a challenge, but here she seems to be just another unusual being in a room (?) full of them.
"Hi Sam," she greets her demonic crew mate.
Samael gestures for Tasha to join him, as the opposite booth 'bench' reconfigures itself for someone of Tasha's stature sporting wings. "Is this social enough?" he asks. At least she can hear him clearly, since the surrounding din becomes quieter once he speaks.
"It's very exciting," Tasha confirms, lifting a finger to spin it around, something she copied from Katie. "Is this a real location, a fabrication, don't-ask-or-you'll-ruin-it, or don't-ask-or-insert-problem-here?" She had been going to offer to watch movies with him in her Office, but this possible fiction is a lot more impressive than her holovid stock.
"It is a memory, so it is real," Samael says. Not was real, but is real.
"Memories are data from space-time configurations and encoded in to another space-time configuration, right? Abstraction?" Tasha settles herself down, deciding she really wants one of these chairs back on the ship -- maybe several -- and resolves to ask Samael for help with making them later. "You are what you know, so it's even more true for you, isn't it? No abstraction?"
"More or less," Samael says. "You are inside of my memory, which is a real place and time that is also inside of me."
"A self-contained universe," Tasha says, with a hint of awe. "I already knew that's how your, um, kind works, but it's another thing entirely to see it in action." She then looks down at herself a moment, then up again, "It's that easy for you to draw another being in to your memories? Intersect their world-line and merge it with your internal world? Is that how Carcossa works?"
"I put my mouth over your doorway and you walked into me," Samael explains. "But I can't carry thins like Thoth's luggage does. I already have to spread myself very thin to encompass you."
"I feel like that's a joke about my weight, and I just lost a lot of it." But Tasha smiles. "Well, I'm glad you invited me. It's nice to be here, even if I wasn't expecting to take a trip in to someone's world-stomach." She leans back, crosses her legs, and then takes a moment to really look around. "Somewhere you were assigned in the past? Uh, my past. You know what I mean."
"My past," Samael says. "Before Praxafallopus. This place is.. well, as best translated it would be 'The Burning Goat' more or less. Which seems appropriate." He even grins a bit at the irony. "What did you want to see me about? Just to be social?" he asks.
"I bet the old goat just loves places like this." Tasha grins right back, then spreads her hands as she looks around. "I was worried about you. I know you expended a significant portion of your self to save us, and I haven't exactly been very supportive since the event. Part of it was my embarrassment over my failure to be useful then, yes, but the other half was my discomfort with dealing with Shadow-beings after what happened." She holds a hand out and makes a several bite-bite motions with her fingers. "And maybe I wasn't sure how I felt about you all for a time. But that isn't fair, is it? It's a poor way to repay someone's sacrifice, and besides, we'd always gotten along before. So," she looks back, hands spreading again, "Here I am."
"You were worried about me?" Sam asks, sounding a big skeptical. "Is it a Vartan thing, like assigning a spirit to everything? I did what needed to be done in the time available. Well, what I determined needed to be done because the alternatives were less favorable to me."
"Yes I was worried about you, is that so hard to believe?" Tasha folds her arms, ears up, tail flicking around. "And I'm not sure how things having spirits applies to being worried about someone. And just because it's selfish doesn't mean it's not somehow 'good' or 'heroic' or positive." She taps her forearm with her right hand's pointer finger, "I do the same things all the time. Putting it in a logical framework way doesn't change things."
"You've let people eat you before?" Samael asks, grinning wider now. "Apart from the current moment, that is."
"I've been inside you before, and don't make any jokes," Tasha notes, untangling a finger to point at Sam. "Especially about that other worldline me. And not usually, I only know a few beings who can do this, and most of them I end up fighting somehow, and you know about the one that was quite a bit less friendly about it."
"I am friendly, then, aren't I?" Samael asks. "It is not a skill I had previously cultivated. Usually I only had to be seductive."
Tasha barks a laugh at that, looking around. For a brief moment she wonders if the place has cigarettes and liquor; she resolves to ask. "I see why we get along," she admits, fanning herself, "I was the same way. But the question is," and here she turns her attention towards the being, " ... if you want to be friendly to manipulate or because you enjoy being well-regarded?"
"What is the difference?" Samael asks with apparently genuine curiosity.
"The difference," it's here Tasha really does wish she had the alcohol and cigarettes, she has no idea why everyone has been engaging her in philosophy lately; when did the lost young girl become such a target for universal understanding? " ... is between doing it to manipulate someone for an end, usually at their expense, not because you value them but because they are a tool to achieve something, and wanting them to like you for the being you are because you value their honest and true opinion of you, and wish both to be liked by them and to like them in turn. It is the difference between being a spy for the enemy and being an ally."
"So... definitely not to make people lower their guards," Samael states. But then doesn't go on to say anything more.
"Is this where you reveal your true intentions and get me?" Tasha asks, then looks around again, "Does this place have liquor? Cigarettes? All this philosophy gives me a craving, and Katie and Liza were making it very hard to focus earlier."
"So you would like to further muddy your focus," Samael says. "In that case, I recall many different sorts of recreational inebriation. Some of the liquid ones would work with you, but there are also inhalants and neural stims. Can you narrow down the effect you're looking for?"
"You know the cigarettes I have in my desk and smoke some times? Those, the one with the Karnor woman on the box. I really don't know a thing about more serious alcohol, all my knowledge was left behind on Sinai. Something mild?" She gives a little shrug; the problems of traveling far and wide. "And do you need people to lower their guard? Not used to being part of something, are you? Maybe it's hard to invest? Knowing we're mortal?"
"That depends on what you mean by invest," Samael says, as one of the other patrons brings over a triangular plate with a triangular glass full something pink and violently fizzy and the familiar packet of cigarettes. The alien seems a bit hollow in an abstract manner.
Tasha thanks the alien none-the-less, but she does study it a moment before taking her order. The cigarettes are lace nearby and her drink beside her right hand, but she doesn't touch either yet. "Friends, compatriots, allies, being you cherish and value, anything like that? Or, are we all just the means to an end? An end you maybe don't even know?"
"Also sources of souls, don't forget," Samael notes. "Like everyone here. Although I do not actively pursue such during this assignment. It's far too early."
The red woman's grin turns wry; of course, souls. She is surprised, but disappointed. "This assignment," Tasha gestures around herself, "Or the assignment with us, outside?" And then she thumbs towards her 'waiter'. "Is this what becomes of souls you absorb? I can't place it, but there's something off about this being."
"Well, they are just reduced to memories. Simulacra, like on Praxafallopus," Samael says. "Flat space affects me in the opposite way that it affects you. You have a subconscious sense of being exposed and hunted. And I have the urge to hunt. So I am in a toying mood, like one of the cats. Have you noticed them stalking invisible things on the ship?"
"Yes. I also noticed you teasing Lacci a little awhile ago, and of course all your lurking." Tasha picks up her drink and has a sip. "Not that I don't enjoy hunting myself, but it's a great deal harder with so many obligations binding me." She then considers a moment, frowns, and adds, "I don't think I feel hunted. I feel something else, but I don't know what it is. The others do. But I feel something more like sadness or guilt; hunted by problems, perhaps?"
"Haunted instead of hunted?" Samael suggests. The drink is a bit sweet, and the fizzy bubbles seem to move around within the mouth before being swallowed. And keep moving about for a bit afterwards as well.
Weird. Tasha keeps drinking anyway, she's in a mood for it, moving bubbles or no. "Haunted sounds good. I am a hunter, and I hunt your kind, among others, who hunt us, even as I'm hunted in turn. Maybe it's that predatory mindset that keeps me from feeling what the others do, but I'm not entirely free of it either." And so she gives a little shrug. "It's unpleasant, whatever it is. And are you being honest? Is this what you plan to try and do to us all, reduce us to some memory for your collection?"
"I am always honest, but I do not make plans that far ahead," Samael claims. "The notion is only apparent because of the effects of flat space. Not that it affects me, but the affect it has on your kind affects me."
"Some sort of mirror? Our beliefs and thoughts influencing your memories, the shape of your barrier? Like how you look like me?" Tasha has another sip, and another. Part of her wonders at what she's doing, having a drink full of memories, in a world made of memories, inside a demon's stomach, without much of a care. But she's gone too far, seen too much, and the voice is quieter now, less a panic and more a reflection.
"Karnors can smell moods," Samael notes. "And that can influence their own moods. It is akin to that, but perhaps more like how Yue Sen senses moods. You all give off a 'vibe' that makes me 'hungry' out here. So I suppose there is irony in me being the one that was eaten."
"Isn't that always how it goes? Look at me, I used to be strong, angry, aggressive, and powerless and now I'm weak, cute, calm, and probably a little scary." She reaches over and pats Samael's hand. "Something we all share in common, I suppose. It must be frustrating to want to feed and not be able to. I know it feels good, but what of all this?" She gestures around herself, "You're like a library. Are these the memories of the souls? Does all this seem valuable to you? Or is it an unwanted side-effect, or just a matter of how it is?"
"Oh no, I quite enjoy it all," Samael claims. "Don't you enjoy having other people's knowledge to add to your own?"
"Well yes, and I figured that was the case, but I didn't want to make assumptions about a being very different from me. Anthropomorphistic projection is a real problem when dealing with beings exotic to one's own existence. I have to remind myself not to project my own state of being on to them," Tasha answers, brows up. "Being able to absorb so much knowledge wholesale sounds very useful, and I'd envy it if not for the manner in which it's accomplished."
"Well, you get to have sex though," Samael notes. "And enjoy it in a more direct sense. Although I suspect your Lapi assistant and I are closer in the sense of enjoying it as a game of dominance."
"That does seem to be the case," Tasha agrees, glancing back the way she came and to the 'outside' world, "Not that I get a lot of knowledge out of it, but it is fun." And despite herself, the edge of her muzzle quirks up, her tail wagging; she remembers Gabriel's control slip and how much fun that was. "I can't say that I enjoy Liza's way of doing things. I've tried too hard to rid myself of the enjoyment of domineering and controlling people. It seems to be a pleasure the weak and frustrated acquire, or those who inherently like to dominate and reduce."
"Well," Tasha adds, eyes rolling up as she considers, "Maybe Lacci is the exception, but she really has that special blend of innocence and arrogance."
"So you would wish to break her in then?" Samael asks. "Shojo is clearly not very experienced. I'm sure you could do better than he could."
"Yeeees, but I have responsibilities. What if I hurt her? What if Shojo resents me? What if Lacci resents me?" She spreads her hands in a little shrug. "And if she becomes too attached and forgets Shojo, what then?"
"So your responsibility to broaden her horizons has limits then?" Samael asks. "Would not the education also benefit Shojo? Or perhaps you could leave it up to Hakeber?"
"Hake probably would like to but she's not assertive enough to overcome Lacci's reluctance," Tasha points out. "I'm not sure I am either normally, not behind my role as leader. But I could amke an exception, I'd just need to figure out how to do it gracefully and acceptably."
"You could get her drunk and invite her to an orgy," Samael suggests. "Or, given your own state of dis-focus, exposing her to something similar may make her more curious."
"I don't think Lacci is ready for group sex. She can barely handle two person sex." Tasha draws in a breath, then has to laugh as she remembers the awkward shuffling and looks after Lacci and Shojo had been together for the first time. She did forget to check if Lacci knew to point Shojo away from herself, but the universe was at stake. "Something similar?"
"Well, what was it that had you unable to focus, precisely?" Samael asks, and taps his nose. "I could smell your mood, after all."
"Liza was giving Katie a special massage," Tasha says, lifting her right hand to wiggle her fingers, "But they're going to be busy for a while and I can't exactly enjoy myself with Aaron and Yue so close. Aaron is too close to me breaking my promise, and Yue is a crew member who has become injured pursuing my agendas, neither one makes me comfortable, especially not at that level. Are you saying I should let Liza do as she wants and have Lacci walk in?"
"Well, that would depend on how willing Liza is to set the mood," Samael says, "but given the relationship, I would suggest the Lapis and Hakeber. I am certain the Karnor would be up for it, and the notion not only of a female bringing pleasure but also of the size difference may directly translate. Or it could make her very uncomfortable, especially if Shojo becomes interested and she does not. Another approach, however, would simply be to approach her as a confidant and offer advice."
"The latter may be the safer bet. Putting her in a public situation where she could react negatively will only worsen things if it goes wrong, at least in private she can decline and neither of us are worse for it." Tasha nods, decided. "That's what I'll do. She did express a desire to know more about how to handle male Vartans, and I know a lot about that subject. Of course I'm not a male Vartan, but I can probably use a stand-in."
"A stand-in? Not Shojo then?" Samael asks. "Or is Gabriel easier to work with?"
"No no, not a person. Something like one of Katie's toys, but more Vartan-like. I've seen them in the shopping lists the Galactics have," Tasha explains, holding out her hands a distance, measuring the equipment, so to speak. "Nora had a Karnor one. She has a name for it but she was too embarassed about it, so now I am, too."
"I am hurt that you have not asked for me to be the stand-in," Samael says, not sounding at all hurt about it.
Tasha cackles a laugh at that, the first time she's laughed that hard (and in that way for over a year. "Oh yes, lets invite the demon. Those always make things more relaxed and less ominous." And then she laughs again, settling back in her chair. "At least you're funny. Well. What I mean are devices. I could show her what to do with them by doing the same thing, then suggest things. It'd all be very educational."
"I imagine the doctor has the appropriate specifications after examining Shojo," Samael notes. "He should be able to fabricate an accurate replica for you."
"For me I'll need something more generically Vartan, but I'll ask." And so Tasha nods, another matter settled. "Where were we? Oh, how are you? Do you need to recharge, or collect new memories? Are souls the only way?"
"Yes," Samael answers.
"That seems very limited," Tasha notes, susicious. "Surely you remember what I tell you, you don't need a soul to remember where my office is?
"That is not the same thing," Samael notes. "Mere self-experience is inadequate. Would you rather be a plant, and slowly create your own nourishment from sunlight, or be an animal that eats other animals in order to make more animal?"
"It really depends. I'm not entirely happy with this consume each other existence. I left home hoping to find something better than that, and instead I just find it everywhere. It just leads to an endless cycle of misery, but I haven't found a solution yet," Tasha replies, giving a little shrug as she takes a sip from her drink, "It's all rather tiresome, in other words. It ends in tragedy eventually. You know Thotep won't spare you a thought when he's done with you. I find I mostly hunger to consume to make things safer, or to destroy, so a dangerous thing becomes safe."
"Once something has been eaten its danger level does tend to diminish," Samael agrees. "I certainly feel less dangerous."
"The Gremlins? Come to think of it, didn't Mr. yellow call you Pharos? But isn't that your previous incarnation? I had wondered if you were still that being, masquerading as some lesser one." She smiles, but in commiseration. "I suspect I am somehow less dangerous myself. I do look like some compromise between predator and prey, it must confuse Liza terribly."
"I am a piece of Pharol," Samael explains. "But I cannot split myself any smaller than I already am."
"What happened to the rest of that being? is he still out there somewhere? What was his job?" Tasha inquires, ears radar-dishing forward as she takes another sip.
"I don't know," Samael claims. "It may be that Thotep reclaimed him. But he was a powerful scion, usually involved in causing wars."
"A scion ... A scion of Thotep? Come to think of it, I don't know a great deal about how non-Ogdoad form their Servitors, mortal and immortal. Can you elaborate?" Tasha sips more, focused maintained. She might be distracted, but she can clearly pay attention when she wants to.
"Pharol Xexanoth was budded off from Thotep, and I was budded from Pharol," Samael explains. "And I could be reabsorbed at some point."
"That sounds like a difficult existence. I remember you resented it and wished you could topple Thotep." Tasha taps her chin, swirling a glass for a moment hen asking, "Can you topple Thotep?"
"No," Samael says. "It would be like your pinky finger trying to strangle you."
"The Niss had all their cells rise up and become a quantum intelligence," Tasha points out, brows arching. "So with their technology, my pinky could."
"It would need to get the rest of your limbs in on the revolution," Sam points out.
"It's a big multiverse and you're an immortal, besides the alternative is annihilator and subjugation," the red woman notes, brows arching over her glass as she takes a sip.
"Or I may find it fulfilling to serve something greater," Sam contends.
The young woman blinks at this, not having considered the option "Oh? And who is that?" She nods back towards wheer she came in, "I've considered the same thing myself, someone out there."
"Thotep, of course," Samael replies. "He is my god, after all."
"You did tell me you resented him and wasted to be the master, why not serve a god that appreciates you more? All the support, none of the throwing away," Tasha insists.
"Just because I wish it does not make it likely," Samael says. "I am not as rebellious as Horus. Although I do not know what happened to Pharol. He may have been reabsorbed, or perhaps did try to rebel and is no more."
"A rulership abiding demon and a rebellious being of light. I really end up with the quirky ones," Tasha remarks, knowing full well she's being hypocritical and intentionally so. She turns to regard the aliens around her and tilts her head. "Can they speak? They're ... First Ones? Old Ones? I'd always heard the phrase 'soul-less' but it always seemed vague to me, until now."
"Well, First-Ones by time-frame," Samael claims. "Although not all of them warrant Capital Letters in the term. They weren't the first, after all. Just the previous generation of civilization, such as it was. Mind you, it was pretty grand. But people are still people."
"That seems to be the case," Tasha agrees, nodding to the point. She's always felt the same about the whole lot of sentients, even beings like AI, Vril-ya, and occasionally ones like Samael as well. "'First Ones' is just old Sinaian reference, by the way. Back home there's a whole religion that venerates them: Statutes, First One holidays, First One season candies and sweets, it's the official religion of Rephidim and its territories. All fabricated nonsense, of course, but many people who don't know the truth believe in it." She examines the nearest memory-of-a-person and frowns. "And now they're gone, nothing but a processed soul that faced the worst thing that could be done to them before being rendered like a ... a holovid. Soul-less memories, but more than second-hand experience." She turns to Samael and gestures at them. "When I see things like this I question my working with beings such as you, you understand? I know, I know, mortals do all sorts of horrible things, and sometimes I question them as well, and there's really no sin-less group -- none I've met -- but there are degrees."
"I haven't sinned," Samael claims. "I did not force anything on these people, or steal anything from them. They agreed to this in exchange for something. Sometimes knowledge, or wealth, but most often to make some enemy suffer, or for even more petty reasons. That was the level of service I could provide, more or less. A few worshipped me, but I can't just accept a soul as a sacrifice. Some of them were my temporary masters, and I was bound to serve them."
"It's a bit better when you put it like that. Unless they were immortal, they were going to die, so at least some part of them is remembered. It's like signing up for a really awful personal mural or epitaph." Tasha shakes her head, taking another sip after and gesturing vaguely with her free hand. "They knew what it all entailed, didn't they? And I wonder: is a horrible end more awful than a horrible life with a quick end? These questions of derangement keep me up at night; who is more or less guilty, who did worse, who has to live and who has to die."
"And what would you be willing to sell your soul for?" Samael asks. "I think most people find that knowing what their soul is worth is what scares them the most. But there's always an exchange of some sort, regardless of the magic involved. Nothing is ever free."
"Nothing, Sam. I've seen too much of the Shadows to offer it to them. I'd rather, if I had to chose, give it to the Vril-ya. They seem like they could use it more, and I wouldn't ask for anything. Not," and here Tasha holds up her pinky as she holds her drink, "that I have any intention of giving it up to anyone. It can be important to value yyour own soul. By deciding it's with this or that, you decide you are worth this or that. Make it priceless and so are you. Besides, " here Tasha shrugs, "just as there are prices, the prices aren't evenly distributed; just as there are soul-exchanges, there are other options. Other tools, as Modo might say."
"It is all very subjective," Samael agrees. "I do not believe there is a Memetic entity for 'soul', just as there does not seem to be one for 'justice' or 'truth', even though these are common constructs among social sapients. But they are too diffuse, and often in opposition to others beliefs even within the same society. Too general to have crystallized."
"It makes picking the 'right' side difficult, doens't it? Because, maybe there isn't one. Then it's all just our choice," Tasha adds, tilting her drink back towards herself in emphasis. "Which then becomes about believing in something else, or ourselves, religion and organization or self-direction. Who to hand the power, who to take the power from." She shrugs again. "Well, at least I don't have that 'I must kill Samael' itch anymore." She then nods to a nearby alien. "You have memories of them, does that mean you have memories of the builders of this ship? I always thought it was rude of me not to know more about them."
"The Tnuctipin were before my iteration, so I do not have direct memories of them," Samael says. "I know that they too were uplifted by another species, and may not have been treated fairly. They succeeded their Patrons my making them extinct, and went on to be even worse to their own Clients. They were very adept geneticists, and heavily modified themselves to be more effectively vicious. And of course they worked with Thotep. As did many others, including those First-Ones who broke themselves against Luk'thu-hem."
"And me. Not the best record for alliances, is it." Tasha puts her glass down and folds her hands in her lap before admitting, "I've been considering whether it's in our best interest to keep working with Thotep or Hastur. They are, in their own way, as potentially devastating as the Ogdoad. I don't mind throwing them against each other, that's just basic strategy, but it's hubris to believe I'm the equal of a deific being of such elder multi-threaded time-like existence. Thoth is older and wider by far, and perhaps he can, but for me there's also the possibility for blanket refusal, if we can detect the schemes at all. And I owe Hastur, but perhaps not forever."
"Can you take comfort in knowing that they both have a vested interest in keeping the Ogdoad at bay?" Samael asks. "They may have helped many, in subtle ways, to imprison them. I also aid in weakening them, as do you. Although in your case it probably more or less voluntary."
"I dunno," Tasha admits, voice intentionally with the uncertainty. "I've always been a traveler, going somewhere to do something. Before I became what I am now, going about and dealing with things was really all I had to define myself and stand out. I fade away in situations of stability, or at least I did. My talents just don't seem to exist there. Just a small cog in a big machine, and I remember how miserable that made me. The humility was good for me, but clearly I've wanted more." She then untangles a hand to tap her chest. "Now that I am a functional species there's more I can be and do, but I don't like living things unsettled or handing off problems. It'll take me some time to figure out what I want and who I am now, but I think the Archon was right when he called me a dragon slayer, no matter how ironic that is now."
And so Tasha barks a laugh. "Katie even thought Persephone threw in some cat or dragon. How would I explain that to the Archon?"
"She gave you a reason to try and deal with the Ogdru-hem using your own resources," Samael claims. "I find that terrifying about her. For Thotep, this all just a game. For Hastur.. I'm not sure what his motivations are, but they can't be the same as Thotep's."
"I don't know what Hastur wants, either. He doesn't exactly confide in me, it's mostly 'go there' 'do this'. I can't even be sure his intentions are effectively malicious because they're obfuscated and nothing we've done so far suggests it's so. If I'm being fair, I might as well assume you and a great many other beings are enemies because they might have a malicious agenda, even Galactics. It'd be one big genocide party if I did that." And so Tasha rolls her eyes, shrugging with her hands. "Galactics and other sentients say you're all not to be trusted without really applying the same logic to themselves; sometimes I want to slap them for it, but I'm smaller now so I'll just have to settle for complaining inside my friendly demon's stomach."
"All demons are friendly," Samael claims. "And charming. Thotep hasn't threatened you, and the only task he bid you was to retrieve me, in order to complete the Dagger so you could destroy Urgo-hem. Certainly, he may not have liked him as a neighbor, but this was also a plan that predates the First Ones Civilization of Five Galaxies."
Tasha nods to this as if it were all expected. "Plans that involve vast in-world line temporal stretches are something I expect form his kind. Not just those, but mutli-worldline non-linear interactions and more. They don't shock me like they used to. I might even be starting to think of them as routine." Tasha taps her muzzle, searching her feeling, then nods again. "yes, they're starting to feel expected, like doing business with someone so long their manner of business becomes old and familiar. I may not understand it or know how to do it, but it is familiar. That applies to Persephone and her kind as well."
"And are you going to plan for the long game now as well?" Samael asks. "I will of course try to be available to your daughters, as a valuable advisor."
"I might. Being able to have children is new to me, it'd be new to me even if I hadn't been unable to have them. I'm only nineteen, or, um, a few months old." Her muzzle quirks and her shoulders twitch; who knows. "And I'm not yet certain I want to burden them with what might be a formidable task. I've seen what the Vril-ya and the Humans did with their children, and they're lessons to consider. I might make participation optional. I may establish a legacy and seek immortality, or make myself available for the long term somehow. I've seen death, too, and it doesn't appeal to me."
"Not yet it doesn't," Samael says. "It is not the worst that can happen. The patrons of this bar would tell you so, if they realized it. I've often thought of changing the name of this place. Maybe to 'The Bar Ironic'... because everyone here was baryonic in life." The demon grins and chuckles. "Sorry, dark-matter humor."
Tasha picks up a napkin-analogue, wads it up and tosses it at Samael's nose. "Ha-ha. Well, death has appealed to me here and there, but I'm still here, and I think I'd like to give the Vril-ya and other elder beings a run for their money and see if I can make immortality work. I was talking to Thoth, about it, and I told him I thought it wasn't enough to have an immortal body, you have to have an immortal mind. And that means change. Another Vril-ya told me you change over all those eons, but then, we're always changing. 'There is no limit, you can go as far as you are able.' It sounds to me like you all give up too easily. I can see why the Vril-ya have it harder though: Change is not their specialty."
"Hmm, tell me, do you notice older beings being creatures of habit?" Samael asks. "It is not really that they become set in their ways however. They still change at the same pace internally, it's just the world outside goes faster and faster to them. So it seems like they don't change, or become stubborn. You're nineteen or so. Does time pass faster for you now than it did when you were ten? One year was ten percent of your entire life back then. Now it's just five percent. And as you get older, that ratio gets ever smaller, until it seems like the blink of an eye. Because time is relative to how long you've already lived. That is the problem with immortality, and immortal minds. Less and less becomes truly new, and you've become very efficient at processing certain things, so that they become reflex, without thought. Linear time is the enemy in so many ways."
"Well no one said it would be easy." Tasha spreads her hands, then lowers her head on her left hand and props her elbow on the table. Liza probably isn't in Samael's stomach so she ca get away with it. "I think these are still mortal minds. Their function is mortal and linear, as you say. It might be better to declare some things internall and stick with them. Immortal reactions; immortal beliefs. If everything is fun forever, everything is fun forever. I hear a lot about how the outside world changes us, we adapt, but I think we can also decide. I want to be this, forever. It's really not unlike the paradises all the sentients come up with -- it's just I think they're not able to divorce themselves from outward thinking. The place must be perfect, and somehow imperfect beings will just ... be perfect by being there? It's a 'follower attitude'. Reality must be perfect to tell me the perfect way to live, but I think paradise exists within. Make a paradise of yourself and it won't matter what is external."
"Perhaps that is why the Terran attempts at Artificial Intelligence always become unresponsive after awhile," Samael suggests. "Easier for the machines to create an internal world capable of keeping their interest than to keep dealing with the messy one outside."
"I don't think that's a bad choice. We can learn a lot by the styles and approaches of pre-existing immortals. Besides, my daughters might not want me ancient old self hovering around all the time, and maybe I shouldn't be?" Tasha gives one of those patented teenage shrugs again. "I did really enjoy being that Star Horse Charon came up with. Maybe I should take it all in steps. Start out with my family, my legacy, see how it all goes, and when it feels like I need a change, try being something else for a while. Growing up's all about steps, and it seems to me immortality is just growing up further."
"You were also human at the time," Samael notes. "So do you remember it with different feelings now than you experienced at the time?"
Tasha nods to this. "My Human-self and my This-self have different opinions, but I think we agree that we'd enjoy it. For the Human, she was too busy worrying about the immediate threat to really think it over, but she still enjoyed it while doing her duty to Charon, and considering how bad everything was going I think that's a stand out approval. The idea appeals to me as I am, so I believe all parts of me would enjoy the experience." Tasha reaches up and taps her muzzle, pursuing her muzzle lips as she tries to recall. "I've always enjoyed Titans, so it's a similar idea. And I remember part of me wanted to zip off and fly from star to star, looking at everything and anything. The universe is very different when you can fly around it under your 'own' power."
"Well, you can do that now, if you can hold your breath for a very long time and are already in space," Samael claims. "For certain values of 'zip around' anyway. One of the earliest civilizations to discover stasis used it for a lot of things, but interstellar travel was at the top of their list. By then they'd already gotten used to skipping past large chunks of time."
"Oh it's not the same and you know it." And so Tasha sticks her tongue out just a bit; she's in public, after all. Even if it's a memory of the public. "I mean as I was. As a living being, with the power to travel at pseudo-relativistic speeds. The true vacuum beams were just a nice bonus." The young woman's muzzle switches, and her ears flick. "Maybe being a space dragon isn't such a bad idea. Wouldn't it be a surprise if I was the Progenitor of the Waymakers?"
"I think they already have one, and not too far in the past according to Persephone," Samael points out. "But time is funny."
"She's from another world-line, so who knows? It's all just lines going everywhere, intersecting everything. Beginnings may be as meaningless as time itself, except relatively. Like all measurement, like how Nora explained astrophysics and stellar navigation to me: "It's all about relative distance, from X to Y. You can't have distance without two points." Time's just a measure form this to that, it's just we're systems that work on this-to-that, but it's probably arbitrary anyway. I mena look at Tatha-hem, she's at all of her points on her time line." And so Tasha shrugs -- again. "And so time is funny. Maybe some day, I'll be funny about time, too."
"Well, light cones and quantum mechanics leads to a lot oddness as well," Samael says. "From quantum perspective, the present moment includes all possibly pasts that lead up to it, and expands into all possible futures. But you have never actually experienced the present."
"And we don't see the other ones because we don't ... " Tasha squints. "'Align' with them, those become other world lines. Beings like yourself and especially Thotep and Hastur have something in their make-up that allows them to perceive more world-lines. I sort of figured this out early on, but things have been clearer to me ever since I was remade. I called it a 'bridge'; to perceive and interact with other realities there must be a bridge, a foreign element that connects to your own element to become part of you enough that you can now interact with what was once separate. I think the spore works a little like that, but not across world-lines. It is a foreign element that has expanded my senses." And the woman nods, satisfied. She then blinks, leaning back. "Wait, if you are what you know, as are you all, does that mean the spore is a bunch of memories?"
"The spore is a spore," Samael says. "In your case, it is meant to soak up your memories instead. That is probably why it was able to be integrated into you now. And it is small, which is important. Bigger things displace larger chunks of your being."
This almost makes Tasha giggle for al the wrong reasons; she tries to hide it by shielding her muzzle with her glass and hand. "THAT makes sense," she says after a cough, hand lowering now that she's contained herself. "It was supposed to go back to the Source. The contract was completed, so now I suppose it doesn't go anywhere. I guess it can be a Tasha Life Boat." She taps her forehead. "Well, I'd say it's been a while and I should go, but we just talked about weird spatial structures so I'm just going to go. I hope you enjoyed yourself, Sam."
"Oh, if it matters to you, you can't sell your soul anyway if you have children, since you'll technically be sharing it with your daughters, and granddaughters and so on. So if you do want to make a deal, you'll need to do it before then," Sam says, and winks at Tasha.
"What and have my sister, mate and girlfriend complain they didn't get it? And then fight over who does get it?" Tasha puts her drink down and holds up her hands. "I'm okay with fighting gods but that's too scary to even consider." Her hands fall and she rises, patting her seat. "You'll have to help me build some of these on the ship though. They're way more comfortable than the Terran 'what-are-wings' chairs."
"I'm not much into crafts," Sam claims.
"Immortals really should have more hobbies," Tasha insists, then give Sam the finger-wiggle wave and heads for the door.
For a moment, it feels like Tasha is walking through herself, because she's in the office facing out the open door as if she had just opened it. Only now it shows the lounge.
"Dimensions," Tasha murmurs in that eternal tone of amused exasperation. She heads for the lift, deciding that all the talk of children has lead her to needing to talk about children with Gabriel. One child in particular, and several others besides. "Intercom: Tasha to Gabriel. Gabriel, are you free?"
"Of course I am," Gabriel replies. "There's nothing really for me to do while Kaa pilots."
"I can think of something you can do," Tasha notes coquettishly, grinning. "But first I want to talk about something else. My office or yours?"
"That depends," Gabriel replies. "How crowded is it up there, because I've got lots of room down here."
"Empty. Liza is subjugating Katie and I just had a sit down talk with Sam." But Tasha starts walking for the elevator, heading for Gabriel.
"Can you check if there's any coffee on your way down here then?" Gabriel replies. "I think Liza and Katie together would be distracting and frightening."
"It was both and I think I need coffee now too." It's no lie, it took Tasha considerable effort to focus, and it was made worse by the presence of Aaron adding a complex level of promises to think about. She might have to talk to people, though of course she had arrived to that party and not the other way around, so it was for her to excuse herself -- or so she has decided.
After a short detour, Tasha has four coffee mugs in hand(s) and is leaning to touch the intercom button with her nose. She tried using her tail but ended up punching in random codes and function she then had to fix with her nose. "It's me, Miss Coffee."
The door opens on Gabriel in his bath robe, open to the waist to expose his chest. "Four cups. That's not ominous, I hope," he says. "You smell like soap."
"I just got clean -- no thanks to those two," Tasha explains, walking over to place two cups next to Gabriel on his desk. She pauses to obviously consider sitting in his lap, but then sits on the bed instead, extra coffee cup placed on the floor and one in her hands. "I think maybe you already expected this, but after seeing Mariel I've realized I can't just say 'you're so cute now Mariel, well, good luck with Remy and Fu- Nisa'. She's is or was my friend, and even early on I believed in wanting her to be happy. So I'm going to offer her a chance to be with me. I'm going to offer them all that chance." She looks in to her cup and swirls it around, then looks up again. "I'd like it if you supported me in this."
"When you see 'be with you', could you be a bit more specific?" Gabriel asks cautiously as he lets Tasha past before closing the door.
Tasha rolls her eyes. "is this what my reputation has become? I don't think I've ever shown any interest in children that way before, have I? Terrans and Vartans both consider that taboo, you know." And so Gabriel gets a look. "Were you being serious? How is it no one asks Liza or hake these questions?"
"I was wondering if you meant to bring a bunch of children out hunting space monsters," Gabriel says. "Because all children will answer 'yes' to that because they're children."
"Oh, that." Tasha scratches her neck with her free hand and looks as embarrassed as she smells, even if she does soldier on like nothing happened. "No not that. Not unless there's nowhere else for them to go. They could stay on Caltrop, or somewhere else if we can establish a safe base there -- Ymir perhaps."
Crossing his arms, Gabriel asks, "And what about their education? And who would be their babysitter? Shojo?"
"Lacci maybe. Or Liza, if she decides to remain." Tasha scratches her nose. "I haven't worked out all the details. Education wise, we have all the tools of Galactic education, which is at leastvastly superior to Abaddonian education. The worlds are also safer and more secure. Abaddon is a world that faces regular conflict, resource problems, and more. Katie will agree on this. The Galactics may be many things but their civilizations have existed more or less peacefully for thousands of years, and the wars they do have are regulated -- at least so far."
"I'm still leaning towards Shojo," Gabriel claims. "Mariel is shy, Nora is headstrong. It needs to be someone Nora can't push around, and who will be sympathetic enough to make sure Mariel gets equal attention. Those two are extreme opposites after all. And Shojo doesn't show any reaction to manipulation. At least, he always gives me the impression that he's doing something because he decided to do it, and not just to please the person asking."
"Oh, that's a good point," Tasha admits, ears perking. "Lacci is already a teacher, so maybe she could handle their education? And the two get along well, so they could support each other." And so the shadow of a smile crosses Tasha's face at this step of progress. "I think it might work. It will also get them all used to being around Vartans, so if they're around little me they'll have more exposure to the Vartan side of things and it won't be so strange. It will teach a multi-species life."
"That is something we lacked, and they were hardly exposed to much on Abbadon, being confined to the ship," Gabriel says. "I had all that time on Sinai to adjust to aliens. At least, aliens to me."
"I remember Nora thought every strange thing I did was because of my alien-half," Tasha says with a chuckle. "So I think it's best we get them experience with other species early. I suspect Mariel will take strongly to Vartans, especially planet-side Vartans. Nora would be more comfortable with the space variety." And so Tasha taps her nose, thinking and sipping. "Lacci has experience as a teacher and she likes the job. We should also switch Shojo to Grunt duty and have her teach him how to use it. What else? Ymir sounds like it would provide a wonderful environment."
"Well.. mind that Mariel is probably being doted on by the Knights Templar and a mage right now," Gabriel says. "She may want to see if she can do magic. Whereas I doubt Nora would be interested at all. She's not particularly impressionable in my experience."
"No she is not. She is the one who impresses on others." Tasha looks up at Gabriel, considering him. "It's a element of alpha Karnors, I think. You, Katie, Nora, you impress on the world whether you try to -- or want to -- or not. It's what makes you different from Karnors of the other personality types, like Fred and I, and Mariel." She nods to her own words, then notes, "Magic may be difficult. If she wants to do Sifra ad hoc magic, that only works there -- maybe some other worlds out here but it'd be even more dangerous. The magic the others and I are doing has its own dangers."
"I learned how to cook with a maser," Gabriel says. "That felt pretty magical at the time. Of course, it means I can't cook any other way, and I've forgotten how to do it with a maser as well. I could probably learn to grill though. Maybe some light plumbing.."
"I don't think we need to reinvent repair and cooking," Tasha says with another chuckle. "I can't cook to save anyone's life because I didn't want to get stuck as the ship's chef forever. Do tree-cities even have plumbing? I'm not even sure how Galactic plumbing works."
"Civilization is defined by plumbing," Gabriel claims. "And I've grown fond of laying a bit of pipe now and then," he says, leaning in and waggling his eyebrows before taking a gulp of coffee."
"Well that's good because my plumbing just got fixed and I'm thinking of expanding," Tasha replies without missing a beat, also sipping and arching her eyebrows.
The cup goes down and Tasha adds, "I'm sure whatever happens, we'll handle it all as we always have: Together."
"Well, mostly have," Gabriel notes. "From now on, it's together." He gives Tasha a poke, and says, "No more running off. Or I'm sure I can get a leash. I bet Liza has one."
"I thought someone was going to collar me. Don't make Liza do it; I know she's small and mighty but she can only do so much." Tasha rubs where she was poked, then leans over to lick Gabriel on the side of the muzzle. "Together. I'm not going to run off if I can help it, though maybe I'm not smart enough to resist? I did give you permission to hold me back if you think I need it."
"Yes, but I may just go with you instead," Gabriel says, looking smug. "That way you'll be more mindful."
"Oh, does this mean you need a Titan as well?" Tasha inquires, ears shooting up and muzzle all agrin. "You know Nora will challenge you the second she gets her's running. Me, too, come to think of it. I suppose we'll have to crush her, otherwise she'll be terribly mad at us."
"She isn't going to pilot anything until she's at least sixteen," Gabriel says. "And I can go with you into places that aren't accommodating to Titans."
"there are such places?" Tasha looks mock-aghast. "I thought that was what my giant cutty-sword was for." She then laughs and smiles. "Yes, we'll go together. I'm not exactly equipped to be the strong one anymore, anyway. We should make sure Shojo is similarly prepared, but you can protect me more."
The surfacing alarm sounds just then, as Kaa announces, "Spyhopping to get a location ffffix!"
"I guess we'll be 'home' soon," Tasha observes, glancing towards the hatch before sipping her coffee. "Everything else aside, I was thinking of calling the Council together before we dock to make sure we're all on board with the overall plan, and with our goals."
"Going to talk to Professor Stanislav's group about getting our stories straight as well?" Gabriel asks. "I've got some unanswered questions for him, actually."
"We can call them in afterwards. Reviewing things shouldn't take very long. I've also considered modifying our 'titles' to better encompass our organization and roles, and allow for expansion. I'll review that, too." Tasha gestures towards the door. "I'm sure Katie will be very relaxed in a while, so we can probably start soon."
The intercom chimes.. or rather raspberries, because it's Kaa.. and the Phin announces, "Moka says we will be out of the halo in 30 hours! And back at Caltrop in about 110. Last chance for an orgy! Skinny dipping in my quarters at 1300 hours!"
"We'll be out of flat space in a day," Gabriel says with relief.
"Do we want to catch that?" Tasha asks Gabriel, arching her brows over her coffee. "And are you up for a meeting?"
"Well, it all depends," Gabriel notes. "A meeting should be done wearing clothes, preferably our uniforms. We'd just have to take them off for the orgy, assuming there's room in the pool. I don't know if the Belters even know how to swim in liquid."
"Then we'll just have to 'play it by ear'," Tasha agrees. She puts her cup down and stretches before slowly dropping back against the wall and looking down at herself. "As for what we were talking about, I should extend the offer to Nora, even if just as a formality. She'll feel hurt if I don't offer."
"Once she's out of the tank," Gabriel suggests. "Beforehand would be weird."
"She might get sassy about it." And so Tasha nods, then rises to casually walk over and drop on to Gabriel's lap, getting comfortable like she came home to her favorite chair. "How long will we remain on Caltrop?"
"Until we've gotten done whatever it is we're going to decide to get done at the meeting," Gabriel says. He wraps an arm around Tasha, then says, "Which he should try to get going soon."
"Fun first or meeting first?" Tasha tilts her head all the way back, brows arching again. She really does look smaller now. "Katie's had her fun, even if she didn't expect it."
"Well, we may need the stress relief after the meeting," Gabriel says, waggling his eyebrows. "But.. I haven't gotten dressed yet. Your choice!"
"I feel like this is one of those obnoxious life tests of my leadership skills," Tasha says with a dramatic sigh. She sits up, straightens her robe top, then hops off Gabriel's lap and smooths out her clothes. "You can gush about my sacrifice at the meeting."
Gabriel laughs at that, and suggests, "Better call the meeting now, to give everyone time to make themselves presentable."
"I should really solidify this quasi-mage look I've been going for," Tasha agrees. She heads for the door, but pauses to blow a somewhat awkward (as she's holding her coffee still) kiss back, "And off to get dressed. See you in my office in half an hour."
"Will everyone fit, or is it just me?" Gabriel asks.
"Hmm," Tasha considers, mentally reviewing her office, "Lets use the ... unused second office then. We'll have to bring chairs. Maybe we should declare that room as our new meeting room? Big central table, chairs, ominious holographic projector center?"
"You mean the one that overlooks the hangar?" Gabriel asks. "We don't already have a table for that one?"
"It's been empty for a while. Yue used it for Yoga practice, and Hake and I for ... music lessons," Tasha admits, head tilting. "It'd be easy enough to add a table. Niss, can you add a table and chairs like I described without kicking everyone off that deck?"
"You have yet to specify the number of seating arrangements to accommodate," the Niss reply.
Tasha does some mental math on space and the sizes of everyone on the ship, making for a lot of guesstimation given the vast differences in body size across members. "Lets go with twelve, we can always change it later. Adjustable modern seats. We have a large variety of butts."
"We will do our best given the time constraints," the Niss promise.
"That's all I ask for. We can always improve things later." Tasha nods; all done. She gives Gabriel a finger-wiggle wave, points at the door, then heads out to go get dressed.
The ready room is ready. The long table seats a dozen, but is completely transparent except for a glowing edge. The seating is also mostly transparent save for edge lighting, with nearly transparent adaptive supports and cushions, giving the backs a rib-cage silhouette. There are probably control surfaces on the table as well, they just aren't apparent.
"No getting away with not wearing pants in here," Gabriel notes, wearing his captain's uniform. Katie keeps adjusting her tunic, as if it doesn't feel right. She may need to have her fur trimmed.
"Well at least we're exercising transparency in our decisions," Tasha remarks as she walks slowly around the table until she reaches the far head, then after giving a little shrug, drops down in to the seat. She's wearing her Dark Horse uniform sans badges, pins, and other special iconography, as they're not quite ready yet. Over it all is her hooded cloak, which she's taken to wearing on an increasing basis. "Well, pick your seats, Hand and Heart."
Gabriel sits to Tasha's right, and Katie to her left. Katie goes wide eyed for a moment as the seat re-articulates to support her. "No slouching in these I see," she points out. "And I was in a slouchy mood too."
"Consider domination by a small rabbit something to work to overcome as we grow as a Council," Tasha says diplomatically, sitting up more and laying her hands in her laps, fingers entwined. "Now then." She lays her datapad on the table, then gestures for file transfer between it and the table, which usually starts the displays. "Our first order of business will be reviewing our strategic goals, as well as goals of opportunity."
A display appears in the air before each occupied seat with Tasha's presentation notes. "I like strategic goals," Katie says. "All goals should be strategic ones, in my book. And I do have a book."
"I am not surprised," Tasha says, sounding both amused and, as she said, not surprised. She gestures towards the screen in front of her. "Our strategic goals for the immediate future are as follows:"
1) To deal with Daltoona Station and the Ogdru-hem within.
2) To recover the Apocalypse Titans for study, safeguarding, and potential use.
3) To keep a lookout for old Galactic information hubs.
4) To continue to establish the new organization and solidify its roles, members, duties, and resources.
5) To locate the Jotoki homeworld.
"In addition we have goals of opportunity, should they present themselves, such as contacting remaining Vril-ya, locating the pieces of Horus, aiding civilization in emergencies, and investigating any useful leads that may crop up. I'm sure you can think of others; we can expand that list as we get ideas. Unlike the main list, they're just there as reminders should the opportunity arise. We can plan them out in detail if and when the option to pursue them becomes available."
"And assembling a security force would be part of Goal 1 then, I assume," Gabriel says.
Tasha nods to this. "And Goal 4, because they are part of the organization. We'll be needing them for other things, but Daltoona is the most obvious of them."
Katies chimes in, and asks, "Are these security people meant travel with us, or to be covert so that some of them travel by other means to get to the same destination, preferably ahead of us?"
"Ideally we'd have two teams, one with us and one traveling ahead. We can even integrate some of our own people in each team, as I believe there are untapped members with us who would benefit, and benefit from, working with such people. Shojo, on the local team, Yue -- if she were well -- would have been wonderful for the advance team. There's also our new Kavi friend who has uncanny powers of sneaking and breaking that could help either. Does anyone else come to mind?" Tasha's brows go up as she looks to the two members.
"I don't know about using Reeka," Katie says. "She's good in a closed space, but also stands out as alien if anyone spots her. She'll need a disguise or cover story. And probably a leash."
"Well I do mean she'll be hidden. Finding a way to control her, um, ability will be something we can discuss when we have our team's backgrounds in front of us. There should also be a fluidity between teams, but specialization. The team assigned to us will focus on boarding, defense, and escort, while the advance team will focus on what it takes to do that." Tasha looks between the wto again, and asks, "Any more on this topic?"
"How informed are they going to be on our backgrounds?" Gabriel asks. "I worry about mercenaries. Reeka we could probably explain away, just like the Lapis, as another mezzode, but we'll be pushing that cover to the limit. The Jotoki are clearly sapient aliens of unknown origin. Potential Clients. That is worth a lot of money to interested parties. Which won't just be governments."
Tasha drops her head on her hands, legs swaying as she thinks on the matter good and hard. "I'm not sure there's a good solution to this. We've already pushed our luck with the Lapis and myself, and now I'll be returning as something new, too. If we had a larger vessel we could could use access restrictions to prevent unauthorized persons from reaching the areas where all our secrets are kept, just as I use the room outside to hide the Niss. As it stands, we'll be limited. We could convert the Tadpole Bay to security quarters and limit their access to the Galley, maybe the lounge during authorized hours?" her ears go up; what does everyone think about that?
"I don't have any experience with security on ships," Katie admits. "It's always been facilities."
"I think we'll have to think about this after we have a list of viable candidates," Gabriel says. "Who they are will determine what we do. Personally, I prefer recruits like Jonah, who have their own reasons for being clandestine and not wanting to sell us out. If Yue is recovered, we have her to monitor the interviews as well."
"The ships I've been on are either secrets themselves or merchant vessels, I have no experience with mundane ship security." Tasha sits up again, turning to Gabriel. "I think that's a good idea. We've done very well with people self-motivated to want to belong, even more so if they don't know where else to be. All of us were missing something; I don't see any reason that strategy would stop working now."
"Sounds like a plan to have a plan," Katie agrees. "Next?"
"Does anyone have any questions about the other strategic goals, or should we move on to the next topic? There are only three topics today, and the last one will involve questioning the Seeders." Tasha looks back to her list a moment, then to the others. "The second topic deals with refining our organization as a Council."
"As in organizing our organization?" Katie asks. "Which organization are you talking about though?"
"This one," Tasha replies, pointing to both of them with split fingers. "I thought about our titles, but everyone has seemed uncomfortable with them, like clothes that don't quite fit." Tasha looks at Katie now, for some reason. "So after talking to Sam I had an idea and thought I'd propose it. It also allows our Council here to expand."
"I worry about things that come of talking to Sam," Gabriel admits. "But let's hear it."
"Does it help that after talking to him I decided to leave 'should we kill Sam' off the agenda?" Tasha arches her brows, but there's no smile on her face or in her voice. "He is, hopefully, what he is. Until we see differently, we should go as we have." She then nods, satisfied, and then points to herself.
"I based the titles and roles off of a being's existence. For my position, the Soul. The Soul is from which all flows and existence begins, both driving force and force that is driven, it is the core, but can do little without other parts." Tasha then nods to Gabriel.
"The Body, protector, carrier, and physical power of the Soul, as opposed to mental, magical, or other power and resources." She then turns to Katie.
"I'm less certain of your role, but I can outline a few: The Voice, speaker for the Soul, communications both outgoing and incoming, working to provide mundane as well as special communications, such as PR, or manipulation. The Dignity, which is similar to the Heart, focused on protecting and nurturing the the others, towards internal wellbeing and mental fortitude. This could encompass housekeeping. The Mind, focused on intellectual elements, research, and so on. The Spirit, directing magical pursuits and protections from the same. Perhaps you have some ideas?"
"The Voice is certainly a familiar role," Katie says. "Better than the Mouthpiece, although it carries some of the same duties. If I wanted to go higher, then maybe the Metatron. It could leave the Heart duties to someone a little less emotionally guarded. As for the Mind.. huh. I'd trust the Niss for that. Let Thoth be the Sage or something."
"He would make an excellent Sage. Metatron, that's the name of an ... angel isn't it?" Tasha looks between the two. "Ancient Terra religion wasn't Nora's specialty. Is it a part of the whole 'being' arrangement? Do we want to stick to that form? And if Thoth joins, Sam will also wish to join. Do we want to expand membership to outsiders? The Niss are, after all, insiders."
"Is Thoth going to be staying with us?" Gabriel asks. "Sam seems to be stuck with us.. at least as far I can tell. He's part of the ship."
"Oh I was just being silly," Katie claims, waving a hand. "Metatron was an angel that spoke for God, because God's voice would destroy anyone hearing it. The Voice is better."
"I know people have made fun of how I speak before but I don't know about it destroying people," Tasha remarks, ears flicking, voice somewhere between amusement and offense. She sniffs, looks at her list, then says, "The Voice it is. As for Thoth, he has agreed to join us. He's also our Alchemy teacher. As Samael is teaching witchcraft, we may as well have them on the Council. Or, rather, I can't see any reason to exclude them that doesn't seem like raw suspicion, and I don't think that's the best way to do things. Besides, either is more than capable of spying on us, so we may as well have them beside us being useful."
"And they can't lie," Katie notes. "Or so they claim. That could be a liability too, but Thoth has been around forever without everyone knowing who he is, so it probably isn't an issue."
"And Samael's a demon, who has also been around forever, and if we can't trust demons to live up to being tricky, I just don't know what to think of the multiverse anymore." Tasha shrugs with her hands. "We'll appoint them to positions, then. For Thoth: The Wisdom, providing advice, insight, experience, and authority in Alchemy. For Sam, the Cunning, providing a different view. They're both types of insight, and there's wisdom in cunning and cunning in wisdom." Again the two-person look, again a question; is this good enough? "We could also consider appointing Hakeber. She would be excellent as a middle ground between them. The Knowledge, perhaps?"
"Hakeber is our cult historian," Gabriel notes. "Esoteric historian? She's also got hidden knowledge she isn't aware of. Would either of those two try to take advantage of her because of that? She's another weapon, just like this ship."
"They're difficult to predict at the best of times. Thoth clearly has an agenda, and Samael's master always has an agenda. There's really no way to know what they ultimately want, although Thoth's desire is likely to be safer than Samael's, but that's relative." Tasha wrinkles her nose. "They could be taking advantage of all of us, or none of us. That also goes for the mortals, too, by the way. Yue's presence could have special purpose, the Phins may as well, we all could have some secret motive or hidden puppeteer. The best we can do is proceed with trust and caution until that trust is broken." She looks to the others, then shakes her head. "Perhaps Memory, for Hakeber. The Memory of the Council. Historian, archivist, esoteric researcher, general researcher. It should help us remember her vulnerability, too."
"And lets not forget Daltoona Station is as much for Hakeber's sake as our mission. More so; I was content to put it off a while longer, but I mistrust that change in her mind," Tasha adds.
"Then there's our other historian," Katie says. "I sometimes feel sorry for Lacci, as if we abducted her."
Tasha grins at that. "I feel the same way all the time," she admits, but then she shrugs, this time with her shoulders. "But we have offered her many chances to leave with our full support, and she's refused every one of them. I think at this point she's kidnapped herself, somehow." And then her brows go up and grin becomes a smile. "She can be the Innocence of the Council. Let her remind us of what the regular, mortal world is like, so we don't forget."
"I wouldn't call her a good example of regular," Gabriel says. "She's still a military brat, like Katie. Albeit with a much more insular upbringing. I don't think we've met a regular person since our last vacation."
Tasha frowns at this, but then sighs, falls back in her chair, and puts her hands behind her head. "I wonder sometimes if I've lost my grasp on what 'normalcy' is. I used to ground myself by returning to Abaddon and being a cadet, with society all around me, but you're now with me, Katie, and it'd be hard to feel like 'just' a cadet anymore." She pulls in a breath, exhales, and drops her arms. "Well, nothing to be done about it. Would you prefer I suggest Lacci be the Knowledge, then? That would be the Mind, Wisdom, Knowledge, Memory, and Cunning, making a nice 'reference, research, and intellect' section to our Council. I feel as though we need someone to handle tactical operations, and I'd also propose adding Mr. I., for internal affairs. he's work with you, Katie, while the tactical figure would work with Gabriel."
"Maybe Lacci could be the Mirror," Katie suggests. "While she's not regular, she's a Galactic without any real agenda. If she thinks something doesn't make sense, we should rethink it. Understanding that she won't be aware of all the risks, loopholes or how things get done in the real world. But she'll have the eye of an outsider without being too outside."
"The ... Conscience? The Consideration? The Compassion?" Tasha scratches her nose. "Any of those would work. I'm trying to stick to a 'parts of a whole being' theme to foster unity and a team identity, so each member remembers we're all in this together, and we need the others. That's for me, too."
"I think those fall under the Heart," Katie says. "Which we still don't have a candidate for. Someone that likes and is liked by everyone.. right? But not Kaa! Please not Kaa."
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