On Tasha's previous visit, she was in the company of Brother Bone who had privately given her the purification ritual needed for entry. This means she and her companions have to wait in the regular line for entry. But that line does eventually split into a 'first time' and 'visited previously' lines, which speeds things up slightly. A lesser Kobold finally begins to process her. "HellohaveyoubeentotheHolyCitybeforema'am?" it recites, as if it's said it too many times already today.
"Yes, just recently." Tasha tries to be brief, both because lines make her want to scream and to save the poor kobold some effort. Any joking now would only make everyone's time worse, she knows.
"Have you killed or robbed or insulted anyone since your last purification," the acolyte recites, "or had dealings with any entities of a diabolic or demonic nature, exposure to cursed items, or had feelings of unease, anger or queasiness?"
Tasha has to think on that one, as any or all of those are potential complications of her day to day travels. She worries maybe she is some kind of demon, sometimes, though she's still uncomfortable with being called one, especially a succubus which she has decided makes her sound one dimensional as a person or person-adjacent being. "Uhh ..," some thought later, "... no." She's pretty sure it's no.
"Please proceed to the next station," the reptilian says, without ever having actually looked up at Tasha's face. It then moves on to.. the goose, apparently, which hisses in the middle of the greeting recitation.
Tasha suspects the goose may also be guilty of one or more of the list, but she's certainly not going to say so. And so, Tasha moves on to the next area, unsurprised a bastion of law and justice is also a bastion of bureaucracy.
This time it's a Greater Kobold, so it can at least look Tasha in the eye, it has on a silvery robe and a holy symbol around its neck. Also a small but nasty looking war hammer on its belt. "Hello," the lizard greets, smiling (and showing a silver fang). "May I ask the purpose of your visit to the Holy City?" A smaller Lesser Kobold is standing nearby, holding a bunch of different brochures at the ready, those one that Tasha can make out looks a lot like a Pilgramage Guide.
"I'm here to visit two individuals and maybe do some research on the side. One is a kitsune who was going to sign up to provide illusionary practice for, I think, the guard? The other is a silver dragon named Gwyndrael Stormborn. I was here.. Well, I was here recently in my relative timeframe and have just returned from the City of Knowledge." Tasha hopes the last part makes her sound extra-official, as she has traveled from one dragon-god city to another, unmolested by guards.
The silver-wearing priest gestures to their assistant, which sets aside the brochure and brings a silver and gold bowl of water to the larger Kobold. "Always good to have local friends, isn't it?" they ask Tasha, then dip their fingers in the bowl and chant in that guttural draconic tongue before flicking water into Tasha's face.
Unlike last time though, it feels like it's actually acid burning into her skin.
Tasha tries very hard to smile through what is effectively an acid splash; her eyes tear up, her ears flick and then flatten, and what starts as a smile becomes strained and a rictus. "H-happy to h-have them." She blinks several times.
The priest then dips his thumb in the water, and presses it to the center of Tasha's forehead. It actually feels like they just used their war hammer instead, and she actually get knocked backwards by it. Her skull feels like it's trying to burst open!
Tasha sucks an inhale and clutches her head; she thought there might be complications but she didn't quite expect this, not to mention dying in a line is not a way she'd wish on anyone. The pain makes it hard to focus on anything except the pain and she knows she can't lose the spell and its map now, she may not be able to get it back. "It's fine," she insists, waggling a hand in the area at where she thinks the priest still is; she can't see with her eyes squeezed closed after all, "everything'sfineIneedthis-" she's in away too much pain to remember or even pronounce the dragon god of Knowledge's name, "knowledgegoddragonknowsDAHDagh'steethfuck-"
She feels herself being lifted up and moved, but even that much motion is making her feel sick - and she's never had motion-sickness! Even with her eyes clenched shut can tell when she's out of the sun.. but at that point the pain is too much and she blacks out. Well, not fully unconscious as she feels the dark serpent cussing her out somehow, but when she does open her eyes again the pain is down to just feeling like she's being kicked in the back of the head by a Rhian with every breath. There's also a foxish face nearly nose to nose with her's.
"Uaaaaghhh," Tasha moans, literally bemoaning her fate as she lays where ever she is. She didn't even get to drink, or maybe she did, everything's a blur and she thinks a snake was yelling at her, which is at least nostalgic, not that she can enjoy that at the moment. "Am I dead.. again.. " It sounds more like a statement in the form of a question.
"Being dead isn't painful, unless you've been very naughty," Lila-ren points out. "Pain usually means you're alive, and only wish you were dead. But at least you seem to be awake. How many ears am I holding up?" It looks like the kitsune's head is completely ringed with a multitude of ears, not all of them vulpine.
"Literally thousands," Tasha answers. She starts to roll over but then she also starts to want to vomit, she instead she opts to be very still. She also considers complaining about being lectured about death, but that entails more work than she can manage.
"Well, doesn't look like you've got any serious drain bammage then," Lila says, and stops looming over Tasha to just kneel beside her. "Now, did you know you had a daemon inside of you?"
"If you knew my life you'd know how vague a question that is." It's a testament to how much Tasha has been through that she can manage to talk clearly; an earlier Tasha would have stubbornly curled in to a ball and refused to unball short of force. There's a long pause, then, "No. But I knew there was something."
"And the curse?" Lila asks.
Tasha is momentarily stumped. "Which curse?" She feels like she probably has several curses, especially right now.
"Hmmm," Lila ponders. "This could get interesting. Well, why don't you tell me why you wanted to come here first?"
"I was worried my reading the evil book and head snake were compromising my moral-tle integrity," Tasha elaborates. She sucks in a breath and mantles her wings closer. "I thought you had ideas. Might have."
"You read an evil book, or a book of evil?" Lila asks. "There is a subtle difference. A book of evil contains information about evil things, while an evil book gives you evil thoughts. Have you been having evil thoughts? More evil than usual, I mean?"
Tasha's pretty sure she avoided doing anything especially evil thought wise since the book and -- much more indicative -- came here, which is a very non-evil thing to do. "The f-former," she says with some confidence.
"And what evil things were you looking up then?" the kitsune asks, all four tails waving back and forth hypnotically. She also somehow has a cup of tea now too.
Tasha stares at the tails, but then blinks them away; this is not the time to be staring at someone's tail(s). "Deities.. Shadow deities.. The Ogdoad. Maps. Some of my patrons. Answers to questions. I am trying to save my universe.. and.. people whose souls were devoured."
"And what did you actually find?" Lila asks, flicking her ears now. "What you were looking for, or something else?"
"The map.. snake. Map Snake. Other things.. Thing. Don't know.. what it is. I'll find it later."Tasha thinks for a long moment, then adds, "And the key. The silver.. key. Way to travel. Have to find the Ogdru'hem."
"Mmm, yes, all very important.. the key may be the daemon, and the map the curse.. or the other way around. What other thing did you find?" Lila asks. "That could also be important."
"Just another route to somewhere. Something." Tasha strains to remember; did she forget anything else?
"Alright, I want you to try something," Lila says. "I want you to put the map behind your right eye, and the key behind your left eye."
Tasha is pretty sure pain is behind both eyes and will need to move, but it doesn't want to, so it's a struggle. She does eventually get the mental where-with-all to achieve the feat and even lifts her head to look the kitsune in the eyes, assuming she's about to do something.
Lila meets Tasha's eyes, but also slides a stylus of some sort into her right hand, and sets it down on what's probably a piece of paper. "Now, while holding those two things in your eyes, let your right hand draw what you can't remember, because one of those other things may be trying to block it. Don't look at your hand, or even think about it if you can help it, just hold those other things in your eyes and look into mine." Lila's eyes are golden, but soon begin to look like kaleidoscopes.
Tasha decides she'd best do what she's told, she needs to figure this out and she has the sinking impression that if she doesn't and isn't cleared in some fashion she might not be leaving the city soon -- if at all. And so she keeps the two elements in mind, each before their eye, while focusing on the eyes before her.
The key just hovers there, but the snake looks more like an everchanging scribble trying to blot out Lila's eyes. Eventually though, those eyes return to being golden brown again. "Oh, you can blink now," she says.
Tasha's eyes do feel rather dry. She blinks, rubs her eyes, and sits up now that she doesn't quite feel like vomitting and-or dying on the floor; she can do those things sitting up now. "How is it?"
Lila picks up the paper, examining it for a bit. "A magic symbol," she says. "A rather complicated one." She actually holds the paper out flat, and seems to look at it edge on as well. "Ahhh.. interesting."
"Is it the Elder Sign?" Tasha just remembered the Elder Sign. "I found that too, now that I remember. It's good for warding, it seems to repell certain demonic elements." She then considers it harder, because thought is indeed in need of hard work right now, and adds, "No, it can't be. The Snake couldn't draw it."
"You drew it, while the snake was held in your eye," Lila notes. "It must have been blocking it from your mind. It's a very interesting sigil. I think it's a higher-dimensional trap of some sort."
"I drew it with my other hand, then? I can't imagine the snake could draw it," Tasha notes, looking down at the paper and expecting some backlash, "Did the snake draw anything?"
It looks different through the snake eye, in a way Tasha can't quite pin down. "Eyes and hands are different," Lila says. "But who knows? Maybe it's more related to the snake then? Either ways, I think it's a shadow trap. Not for shadowy entities, but for shadows. So the three-dimensional shadow of something with higher dimensions."
"Like an angel," Tasha remarks, leaning back. She distinctly remembers discussing the means such a higher dimensional menace might be taken down. "Like the one that attacked us?"
"I suppose if it was big enough," Lila guesses. "I'm not sure how much extra power would be needed, since I'm not sure just how to test this. But it might be handy for keeping your squirmy one locked away until needed."
"Well, that's good, at least. I suppose in a pinch I could try it against something larger, too." Tasha rubs her muzzle, feeling better if not well, and the talking helps focus her mind. "Do you know how the 'squirming one' might be employed? I know it's a map. I remember now it also lets me see things as they are, no, that's not right, lets me see the awful truth behind everything. I have, um, spirits or something like them within me, and one said more-or-less that. It reveals hidden, awful truths." She then peers at the kitsune more intently. "Maybe that's why I saw so many ears, it was showing me more of you?"
"No, that was an illusion," Lila claims. "I was just messing with you. I'm completely pretty, you see. No ugliness here! As for using it.. I suppose some condition needs to be met. If it's a map, but shows you hidden things, then maybe you need to be looking at a map?"
"Hmm," goes Tasha, for multiple reasons. She can believe Lila is on the up and up, but out of curiosity and dubiousness, decides to peer at her anyway. She doesn't really expect hidden secrets -- her instinct made her seek the woman out as a source of evaluation of her purity after all -- but stubbornness and caution nudge her to look anyway. "But what kind of map.. Maps of the universe I can get. Multiverse maps are, um, hard to read."
All that seems different about Lila is.. her eyes have a certain sharp sparkle to them, and her smile looks more.. toothy. "Are you sure it's a map of the multiverse?" Lila asks. "How exactly did you get it?"
"Hmm, someone likes to mess with people. I think this is why we get along. You have a little nasty streak!" Tasha also grins, matching what she sees. "Not that I can say anything on that. As for the map, it came with the snake. I asked for a map and it gave me the ability to see clearly. Or, rather I asked for a means to find my enemies -- which is the map and the sight -- and reach my enemies -- which is the key. And then I passed out. It happens a lot." Tasha's look is very put upon, ears back, pouty expression.
"And were you very specific about who your enemies are?" Lila asks. "Because that can be very broad, you see. Current enemies, or future enemies? Ones that are hunting you, or that you are hunting? Are they enemies, or targets? They could be enemies you don't even realize are enemies. But, it also depends on who gave you the map, because it might be their enemies instead."
"There's no way to know. I want to remove the Ogdoad from my reality and got an answer, and what seems to be a correct one, so I did narrow my question down enough for that. I wanted a means to travel, because some of my enemies are difficult to reach -- not physical or otherwise lacking dimensionality I can assail. And, I need to travel, possibility quickly, over vast distances to respond to their movements, even between realities, not all of them like this one or my own. The last set of questions was more specific, but it could be used more broadly. It pointed at an object, so I'll get it and then review progress from there." Tasha does at least sound more lucid, now. "Much of my work involve psychic and bodily strain. It can be hard to keep hold of what I did or exactly why, but my memory suggests I'm on the right track. I have several ways to approach my main target and the Ogdoad in general. I will severe their link and they may never return. It is something even ancient civilizations could not accomplish, but I have terminated a number of them already. With this, I will find the remainder. The.. side task is personal."
"Quite a lot for a map, a key and a ward," Lila says. "I'm not that knowledgeable about Outer entities, or how to deal with them. It isn't something that is usually an issue within the realms I travel. I did look up the dragon you mentioned to the entry priest, though. She fought in a war against similar, if more familiar, sorts of creatures."
Tasha nods to this. "Yes, that's how we connected. I am aware of that war and some of its consequences. There's more beyond it. I am.." She waggles a hand vaguely. "Associated with some of its consequences. I'm trying to clean up some of the damage along side working on my own universe. I believe the means to one will help with the other. Plus it's something I feel is worth doing."
"Well, that war was a long time ago," Lila notes, looking upwards. It becomes apparent that they're in a tent, when Tasha finally has a change to notice. "I didn't know there were actual survivors from it though."
Tasha follows the gaze; she had expected a prison cell, or at least a warded circle. "Linear time.. It's not inflexible. Or unbreakable. The beings I work against would devour our whole universe, and it would be as if we never were. Maybe beings like myself, that can claim a partially private temporal line not dependent on our home universe, might survive, but all the rest would be gone. The future, the past, everything between. They're not limited to linearity. As for the other war, there are a few. And the damage remains. I came about it while searching for the answers to our own universe's problem, and because I helped beings associated with it."
"You don't want to spread yourself too thin," Lila says, but looks distracted. "How would you know if causality is being broken? Unless they just wait until the end and work their way backwards from there?"
"It's extremely hard to tell, that's why I've branched out so far. But it's all a risk, I could even be causing it. That's the problem with fighting things so much bigger than yourself, at least until you're big enough to face them. There will be mistakes, but doing nothing is worse. There is no easy path." Tasha looks down, head tilting and frowning. "But I will say this about temporary omnipresent beings, their omnipresence means they're vulnerable at all times and they also don't seem to be omnicapable. Even if they see it all they can't make complete and successful results happen all the time, every time. They are flawed, and they are opposed. They have weaknesses. My plan is to use these to correct something. A being that is it's own universe or co-temporal with certain points represents a bridge to those points, in itself, and when that was. Time is not linear. I can use their nature against them. Where they were, and are, maybe I can be, too."
"Well, unless they're trapped," Lila says. "Even pan-dimensional beings are subject to linear time if they are anchored to a universe. It's the price for being active in one. For instance, you could be pinned to a fixed location by trapping your two-dimensional shadow, just like this 'trap' symbol could trap and hold the shadow of a higher-dimensional entity that is trying to operate in three dimensional space."
"That's the case in my reality. The Ogdoad were trapped by their creations, the Sifra, many Galactic generations ago, very early in the history of civilized life. The Sifra are not altruistic as far as I can tell, however. They have routinely culled the universe due to what I believe is an effort to both possess its resources for themselves and to prevent a critical mass of psychic presence that could be fed upon. This makes their focus on out universe, and their agents reside there as well. But they do not exist; they are not existing entities. They are outside that. So, I can defeat their manifestations some how, and their grasp slips permanently, or attempt to defeat what is a undefeatable entity without existence. Not even a god; I can conceivably defeat a god. Of course once I banish them the Sifra may rise form their defeat and become a smaller, but still immense, problem." Tasha heaves a sigh. "That I've made any progress at all is amazing. So. I keep going. I have hopes my plan against this remnant of that old war will help me understand waging war against higher beings, and I have great hope it will let me recover souls lost to that war. I will find this demon, I will anchor it, and I will walk through it to the other side, or draw out what it has taken. The rest I'll leave to someone else."
"Hmm, that is a lot," Lila notes. "But you can defeat their agents, which suggests those are anchored to your reality, and may be the anchors the Ogdoad require. So you know you can defeat those anchors at least, if you know how to find them? If they can be destroyed, then they must need to be hidden."
"You understand," Tasha says, nodding several times. "I have already destroyed a few, and I know of a few more that I'm either ignoring for now or working with for convenience. I have even attempted to free these servitors to their own will, and then expel them or allow them to remain if they're no longer a threat in that context. Finding them is harder, why is why I needed the map. The old civilizations fought them before, but mostly failed. Various Outer Gods are also involved, which complicates things. At least one doens't want them destroyed, seeing them as their antithesis, and therefore necessary on some cosmic scale. The same one seemed to be impressed with my one idea to fight the unkillable, which I thinjk actually surprised him?" Tasha blinks, ears going up. "Which is a bit alarming in hindsight. Impressing a hyperdimensional deity as a lower dimensional mortal. It would mean I've really learned a lot. Um, anyway, defeating the anchors is the target right now. That will expel them. I hope."
"Well.. do you at least have an advisor that's defeated or killed such entities before?" Lila asks. "It sounds like the sort of thing that may only be doable once, but I'm not sure about cosmic-level sort of gods that aren't part of nature or something."
"I know a few beings, but out of all of them near my level, I appear to be the one with the most experience," Tasha admits, a unsettlingly chilling realization when she compares herself to the august and mighty existences of ancient civilizations, deities, and nigh-deities. It would seem like maniacal braggadocio if it wasn't true. "Those that have some experience beyond me are.. difficult to know. Or reach. And may be upset with me. Oh, hell. Do you know an entity called the Null?"
"Oblivion, you mean?" Lila asks. "My beliefs involve reincarnation, so there's Death and.. the Divine Bureaucracy. Not an easily personified sort of thing, oblivion. But someone wrote the book of evil, so presumably some mortal wizard or sorcerer managed to gain insight into this... Does this have anything to do with the whole Nyarlathotep and the Queen of Demise stuff we tagged along with? Because a fallen angel running around loose implies a really big power vacuum."
"Uhh, so, you see, I kind of.. know.. the current face of oblivion. I work for him. I also know Nyarlathotep, which isn't really very impressive when you think of how around he is. And I know, um, the other one." Tasha taps her fingers together and looks around. "Most of whom don't really like being talked about, but I don't think they'll just smite me. Mistakes aside, I like to think I'm at least somewhat helpful. I was able to save a cosmic child and I made progress against the Ogru'hem. I also talk to The King in Yellow a lot."
"Wait.. The King in Yellow?," Lila blurts, then covers her muzzle with her hands and looks around to see if anyone outside the tent heard. "You can't.. you can't say things like that," the kitsune whisper-hisses. "Do you want to be banned from.. everywhere?"
Tasha lays her ears back. "I was under the impression the Outer Gods weren't any sort of threat to these spaces," she admits, suddenly also looking around. "Besides, it's not as if the supposedly good gods were rising to help us. No a single one other than the Null even said hello. Not even the Star! If there is a Star."
"Just how many gods have you sought out on this?" Lila asks, wide-eyed. "The Unspeakable One doesn't have to come here, it just needs to have its sign spread or play performed."
"Well I'm not going about writing signs or starting plays. I'm aware of the power of the Sign, he told me flat out it's the way to kill a god. But I haven't met a god I wish to kill. Not Bahamut, not Library Dragon, not the Star. If I destroyed anything like a god, it's because I was manipulated." Tasha leans back and folds her arms. "As for how many, it was my species creator god that directed me to Thotep. And Thotep ended up getting all of us trapped by a Ogdru'hem. The King rescued us with a deal, and I couldn't refuse. More so, I was grateful because who else reached out to help us? Only him. I am aware of how dangerous he is -- maybe not completely but at least somewhat. But I can't also not be grateful. It's hard to owe someone the future and welfare of not only yourself, but of your closest friends and family. And it's my fault they were in danger, so until he uses me beyond my debt, I won't forsake him out of hand. Maybe an interesting lesson for more altruistic gods to consider?"
Lila chews on the tip of one of her tails. "They usually react to direct threats," she explains. "I know that Bahamut allowed the recruitment of dragons for the last war to happen here. But I don't know how Kainudy got his cooperation or how she managed to get any dragons to work together on something at the risk of their own lives. Gwyndrael would know that part. If you want to seek audience with the Platinum God, maybe Brother Bone could at least tell you which department to contact. Although so far you've been getting aid from entities related to your enemies, so maybe seeking out evil gods is better? They aren't going to work together though, or work at all if they know you have support from the other team."
"Bahamut already knows. We're in his domain," Tasha notes, waving a hand around airily to indicate their surroundings. "And he knew when and probably before I arrived. I knew that when I approached the city, it was my way of saying 'I know, and you know, so decide and show me, because I approach openly'. I didn't try and sneak in and didn't this time either, even though I suspected I was changed somehow. I have not attacked his people or waged war on good as I know I try but probably fail to be just. But I try. I believe his response to me was the train: "I'll take you where you need to go, and look at this evil, I won't dump you in this prison." Maybe it was a warning, too. Be careful. But as we just discussed, knowing how to be careful is itself an often impossible challenge. I bet he knows that, too. It may strike him as unjust I fight with evil gods to save a universe. Kainudy didn't deserve to be vilified, either. There seem to be entities that do the dirty work and get thrown away, so others can stay pure. I imagine the idea pains him. Bahmut, I mean. It pains the Null."
"And there is a problem with seeking aid from malicious deities. Once I achieve my goal and the way is open, they can push me aside like I'm nothing and swoop in to take over the power vacuum," Tasha adds, looking the kitsune in the eyes. "It's not like I'm unaware of how they work, you know?"
"Uh, I hate to tell you but gods generally do not act on any omniscience they may or may not have," Lila notes. "They don't notice you unless you pray to them, or go through their priests. There's a minimum of effort they expect. If gods acted on people needing them to act, they'd be 'doing the dirty work' themselves. Playing both sides has been done, and seemed to work.. until, as you pointed out, the goal was accomplished. Sometimes there needs to be a sacrifice. I think you need to talk to Gwyndrael about what got her to.. join up? I think I can suppress the squirmy-map enough to get you into the city."
"That seems especially dangerous for both of us if it is as you say and Bahamut isn't aware. I'd on't know what I'd have to do to defend myself against a aggressive god, but you know the weapons I have, letting that possibility happen is very dangerous to both sides." Tasha then scratches her nose. "And I did act assuming he knew, by the way. I wasn't trying to deceive him. The other dragon god knew me and didn't restrict me, so I though I made the right call. But as for Gwyndrael.. I was actually debating if I should talk to her. Kai pointed out I'm rather mortal and, well, I don't want to make ehr feel bad. That's what drew me to her, but, well, you see what i deal with, I don't always have the focus or mental energy to consider every angle to ever encounter."
"Dragons have egos," Lila says. "So asking a dragon about an important decision they made or for advice is generally flattering, like you or I might think it means someone wants to know more about us because they're interested in us. Don't bring her your problems, just ask more about her life. If you are interested in her, then it isn't really deceptive either. And she can leave the city if she wants to see you, too."
"That's what I was thinking, it would be safer fro everyone -- everyone -- involved if I don't enter the city of Bahamut really isn't aware. I don't know what would happen, but for the sake of my reality I might have to fight and, well, I'd probably lose but it could get, um, bad. With no gain. For anyone." Tasha head shakes just thinking about it. She can see the potential responses, on both sides, and nothing looks good. Even a complete victory looks bad. After shaking off the stupor of the possibility, she turns to Lila and says, "It's better she come here. Oh and, um, we've been together, will that be a.. problem?"
"How would that be a problem?" Lila asks. "If anything, it's a reason to let her know you're passing by."
"Ahh," goes Tasha, sounding relived; even her shoulders slump. "I was just, well, worried I made another mistake and hurt someone again. I think I've made it very clear I don't really know what I'm doing, and my problems exceed me by orders of magnitude. I just didn't want to hurt her. I think we have a lot in common in some ways, and knowing that, I didn't want to make a hard life harder. I slipped in the recent past and was afraid I'd done so again when Kai reminded me of the difference between she and I." She rubs her nose, stares at her lap a moment, then nods. "Go and get her. I'll remain safely.. Where-ever we are. Come to think of it," and here she looks up again, ".. how did I end up here and not, say, smited with that warhammer?"
"Eh? You think we go around smiting people that might be possessed against their will?" Lila asks. "That's hardly just. A lot of people come here because family members or companions have been stricken with curses or demons."
"Oh, well, that's promising. I like that." Tasha wags her tail a little. "I guess I'm now sorry I was so hard on the city. I'd actually never heard of it until Kai brought me through, this place is very far from my reality. It makes me feel a little better a place like this exists."
"The homunculus brought you?" Lila asks. "I thought you controlled it?"
"Yeeeah it's not my homunculous. Don't look in to Kai too much or you'll have another me-level disaster on your hands. Or worse. Just think of her as someone guiding me on behalf of another power that is aware I'm, uh, somewhat lacking. A mentor. The Human is our guard; the goose is probably a minion of some evil power. Or an evil power. Or a goose. They seem to be very similar."
Tasha then heaves a sigh and drops her head in her hands. "I know you're mischievous and all but you've been really nice and you seem to like to help people, and you serve a good god. Gods, I guess. You know the King-in-Yellow-secret? Do you want another one? This one might be worse, but I feel like talking and I need to gauge how this might go over with Gwyndrael."
"Well, I do enjoying watching a good disaster too," Lila admits. "Is this something that will get me in trouble if I mention it to anyone? Because those are the best sort of secrets."
"It might be talk-with-Bahamut level trouble," Tasha tells Lila. "Like, he might just appear, or pull you aside. And you can't share it except maybe with him. It will cause problems. But you know a lot and I don't think you'll use it to cause malicious disaster. Plus we both have a similar interest in messing with people, but bot destroying people for fun.
"Although there is a girl I'd have liked to destroy for fun, but that's a different sort of thing," Tasha adds in afterthought, grinning.
"Well, I'm not technically one of the clergy," Lila notes. "So I'm not obligated to share anything with them, beyond what my job requires."
"Would you use such information for gain or to cause malicious chaos," tasha asks, looking less certain now.
"Mmmmm.. is it that juicy?" Lila asks. "Is this 'someone will try to kill me' dangerous?"
"Probably not, though I'm quite sure they could. They didn't kill me though and I was a much bigger immediate problem. I guess you could say I'm a problem student. My teachers keep getting in situations because of me." Tasha waves a hand. "They're difficult too, you know? Thoth. Own agenda. Horus, why don't you meet Thotep, and I'll just call you my jailer. Thanks old creator." She huffs. "Fine, you know what? It's your existence and Kai -- who is supposed to help me but I think she just likes messing with me -- isn't easy to talk to some times. So, I'm kind-of-sort of the reason the Queen of Demise is, um, demising things right now. She's my, uh, mentor. But she's on.. sabbatical.. at the moment. Sab-battle-icle?"
"Wait.. so the whole Queen of Demise thing is real?" Lila asks in hushed tones. "And is she actually fighting with Nyarlathotep?"
"From what the dragon god told me, yes. She kind of kicked me out before he arrived on account of my being small and psionic-mega-storm non-resistant. The people I'm looking for? They're out there with her. But at lest they're okay. Uh, for the moment." Tasha's ears lay back. "At any rate, she's actually very nice. And very.. sad. That's why I've been trying to find a way to travel through time through higher dimensional demons. I have to make it up to them. I won't let their story just end like.. this. I want them to have something to come home to. That's beyond saving my universe."
"But.. how did you find her?" Lila asks, looking confused. "Nobody ever heard of the Queen of Demise until.. suddenly it was an issue. There're no legends, descriptions, nothing. The elves just threw the name out there when Nyarlathotep vanished. What is she, exactly? A god, or a cosmic monster sort of thing? The fey are acting like she's some sort of devil that's coming to eat them."
"She's someone the fey -- at least some fey -- screwed over, sold out, and betrayed. She's not unlike me in that she was trying to fight a battle and save people and ended up, well, broken a little. Or a lot. They know she knows and she's actually quite mighty in her own way, so she's not just an empty threat. Do you remember that pompous elf lord we met along the way? he was one person who screwed her over. I was going to get him, but Kai beat me to it." Tasha looks around again, then leans in closer. "As for how I found her, that's more of a secret, but basically I knew someone who knew her and they, probably rightly not wanting to teach me anymore, redirected me. We were working on how to tackle demons, she was demonstrating.. something I don't think I can talk about right now. But it was bad. She showed me something and.. I couldn't handle it." The young woman slumps a little, sighing. "I really couldn't handle it. You know some of the power attached to me now and, well, it went bad very quickly after that. The others and I were only to return just in time to keep things from collapsing entirely, but we had to call in a lot of help, I had to fight an army of elves, and even after it was clear a lot had changed quickly. There wasn't time for me to work it all out, and I wasn't in great shape then. A part of my soul is gone now, to give you an idea. Then Thotep came and I'm apparently useless in such a fight. I may know him but he'd kill me in an afterthought if he felt like it."
"So Kai made that guy go crazy?" Lila asks, pondering it all. "Wait.. Kai belongs to the Queen of Demise? And the elves are involved? And you.. I still don't get what your role in this is, exactly. So without details it's just.." the kitsune goes, then just stops.
"I'm not the Queen of Demise," Tasha insists quickly, holding up her hands. "I'm more like the.. Apprentice of Demise? Understudy. Of Demise."
"Thoth," Lila notes quietly. "You mentioned Thoth."
"Yes," Tasha confirms, nonplussed. "What about him?"
"He was last seen back before the Dragon War started," Lila notes. Apparently she had some reason to know about him. "And he hung around with a red-headed elf.. just like Kai," she adds. "Holy crap, Tasha.. who is the Queen of Demise? That's not a name, it's a title. And you wouldn't go to someone named like that to learn stuff, would you?"
"I went to Thotep and The King in Yellow," Tasha points out, dead pan. "I take the help I can get, I thought I made that clear."
"So.. tell me this much then," Lila says, staring into Tasha's eyes. "Is the Queen of Demise a dragon?"
Tasha pointedly avoids the gaze. "Forcing me to say is a very bad idea," she warns, but then she softens, "But I get your point. I'm not sure I should say. I think I've conveyed she's had it hard enough already? If I said her name, would you use your mischief to make things better for her, or worse? I don't think I can stand by and know I made her life even worse. You could make me your enemy if you use this information in a way I don't like."
"But she's dead," Lila hisses. "A thousand years dead! There was an.. accident.. with a transport gate and she vanished. This is.. bad, Tasha. She raised an army of dragons, Seelie fey AND Unseelie fey for the last war!"
"Why's it so bad?" Tasha's focuses her ears forward. "Do you think she's going to march on, what, here? The elves?"
"Who knows? The three forces have been in balance since forever, but if two could cooperate against the third, it wouldn't be a contest at all," Lila says. "No wonder the Seelie court is worried. But.. she wasn't powerful then. She didn't even fight, just acted as the general. Am I missing something? How is the Queen of Demise strong enough to fight Nyarlathotep?"
"I'm.. uh, not actually sure," Tasha admits, leaning back a bit and crossing her arms. "This is something I couldn't quite figure out. I know she's something like a god, a kind of immortal, but that doesn't mean much. There are a lot of immortals, some even weaker than myself. Some previous-god made her but that's not very indicative either. I was made by a god-like entity. I know she'd acquired some kind of demon-magic, but it didn't seem that far advanced of what I'm dealing with now. There was some darkness too her she was afraid of. It might have been original or not, but apparently it'd been a big thing for a long time. Maybe it happened after she was lost to the portal. They had a world, and things happened. Great beings were born of it. They have that kind of power. But it all went badly, and the world was no more. Then she hid. Then I met her. I must have unbalanced things when I lost control. Which means.. I'm probably the reason all this is happening." And so Tasha lowers her head in to her hands. "She said once she tried hard but failed, and was afraid she'd lose control. Then I came. And I lost control. I'm surprised Kai and Galatea haven't murdered me yet. No wonder she said I was just like Kainudy."
"So, she could have been deceiving everyone back then," Lila says. "And she had Kai as her tool as well, and I've seen what she can do. Maybe Kainudy used mind control to raise and manage that impossible army? If that's the case.. well, that's bad all around. Especially if she used them all to fight and die in her place! That was always the worry, you see, when the war ended. She survived, but almost every wizard or skilled warrior from all three factions didn't. So maybe she was looking to take over after nobody could raise another army to protect themselves."
Tasha sits up immediately, hands falling. "That is not true! It's actually the other way around, when she succeeded they feared her, so they set her up,they cast her away! She rose up to deal with problems, back then she was trying to leave behind the rough treatment of her creator and she was naive. The court used her, then it feared her, then they threw her away. She tried to start again, then she lost her world! And everyone, everyone blames her! She won, and everyone turned on her! She lost her place, she lost her world, she lost her child, her mate, her creations, and she lost her mind. Now do you know what I mean about the problem with sacrifices and people who try to save things?! Even when they succeed, this can happen! No! NO!"
Tasha slams her fist in to the ground and rises to her feet, pointing down at Lila. "No, no, and no! It will not end this way! I am going to fix it!"
The kitsune sits there looking shocked. After a moment of silence, Lila asks, "Uh.. do you still want me get a message to Gwyndrael that you'd like to meet her outside of the city?"
"Are you going to be a problem," Tasha asks in a much deeper growl than she intended.
"Look.. I can't tell anyone about this," Lila claims, waving her hands. "I have no proof! Kainudy was supposed to have died a thousand years ago while on a victory tour! Nobody knows anything about the Queen of Demise, including you from the sound of it. Even suggesting she used mind-control like Kai does would cause all sorts of problems too!"
"I know what she told me. More importantly, I know what the Null told me, and what Persephone told me. They wouldn't have lied to me -- because they didn't have to. Any of them could have made me do whatever they wanted. Persephone especially, she's the one who put my soul back together. She was just trying to.. To help us both." And Tasha lets out a sigh, looking defeated. She slumps back to sitting and curls her legs inward. "Galatea told me more. I saw the graves in her little world. Kainudy never stopped mourning the dead. Don't hate hate her. Hate me if you want, blame me if you want. I can ask Kai to do anything, I'll just say I'm the Queen. I have enough fell power to maybe back it up."
By the time Tasha winds down, it sounds less like she's talking to anyone so much as herself. It seems to take her a moment to realize this, because she looks up suddenly after a stretch of silence. "What? Oh.. Go ahead. I guess she should know, too."
"Do you still want to talk to her about the War though?" Lila asks. "She would have been recruited by Kainudy, so she'd have the most insight into all of this, if you can get her to talk without letting her know why you want to know."
"Considering you saw through me and she's even older than you, I'm not sure my twenty-two year old wit will be able to deflect her," Tasha admits, sighing. "Maybe it'd be better shew knew. Then I would know her honest opinion, both of Kainudy and myself."
"Well, I can't tell her that, only that you're here would like to see her again before you head.. home?" Lila suggests.
"Yeah.. That will work." Tasha shifts to lay on her side, curling in to a ball. "I'll be here."
Tasha's had some time to calm down since Lila-ren left to contact Gwyndrael. The tent is somehow kept cool and has that same weird illumination-from-nowhere effect that she's seen in the city, and also has a carafe of water and a platter of what look like powder-coated jellies.
Tasha forgot to thank Lila-ren when she left. She feels like that's been happening with increasing frequency. Time alone has given her little to do but reflect, her mind drifting back to how things used to be versus how they are. She started off very rough, but then she became better, a lot better. For a while she was maybe even admirable, she founded an organization, she rescued people, she defended cities. And, she brought people together. She was concerned about them, cared for their needs and thought about what could make them better people. Then, piece by piece, mystery by mystery, battle by battle, it's all seemed to fall away from her. Now she's whatever she is now: possessed, re-alive, different, too tired and worn to engage, she doesn't even think about the people she meets much anymore, any except a small few, and a even smaller few she can empathize with relate to.
One of her instructors would often talk about the realities of war, something the Abbadonians know well and Knights knew in particular, about how it changes and damages people. She thinks she understands now. And while she isn't sure she could have avoided corruption and injury, she wonders if she couldn't have tried harder, or maybe that's the trap: she achieved things august civilizations could not, perhaps it's an illusion she could walk away unscathed. She doesn't know.
What she does know is it makes her hungry, so she has a snack, drinks some water, and then lays splayed out like she'd been run over, probably by life.
A silver head pokes in trhough the tent flaps. "That looks comfortable," Gwyndrael Stormborn comments. "A kitsune found me and said you were waiting. I thought maybe you'd been injured, since she sounded worried. Are you alright, Tasha?"
"I don't even know anymore." But Tasha reaches out for the head. "Come sit with me, we have a lot to discuss, and not just about me. I hope Lila-ren didn't seem too offended?"
"Kitsune only ever show what they want you to see," Gwyn notes as enters the tent, and then curls up to take less space. "This isn't a marriage proposal, is it?" she asks, her head tilting back and forth in a canine fashion.
Tasha blinks at that, her head also tilting to the side, and for a moment the two very different beings have a head-tilt-a-thon. It's something Tasha finds entirely endearing, since even modern Karnors don't do it that often, and she doesn't associate with that many Vartans these days. "Nooo?" Another blink, another tilt. "Not that I wouldn't be tempted, mind you, but I think our mutual circumstances would make it rather complicated, and I'm not sure it would work well for either of us. That said, I do feel like we have a lot in common in spirit even if we're different beings. That's why I sought you out. Kai just reminded me of our, um, longevity differences and so I departed as I did at her direction. I didn't want to hurt someone I care about; I seem to do that a lot lately, mostly unintentionally."
"Ah, I was only teasing," the dragon says and winks. "And I know all about the risks involved with associating with mortals, even as pets."
"We're a handful alright," Tasha agrees, but she does scoot over closer to Gwyndrael until she can lean against her. Dragons aren't very comfortable to lean on as a rule, but Tasha doesn't mind. It's not the physical comfort she wants right now. "Though my mortality is in question these days. I think I could be immortal, if I asked. I'm not sure. I already died once and that wasn't fun at all, but I know the other way has problems, too. There's an immortal elf spiked on a throne where I live, and he's having a really bad time." The young woman wrinkles her nose. "Speaking of immortals, aside from just wanting to see you, I wanted to talk more about the war."
"It was a long time ago, so fair warning that I'm going to remember the traumatic parts the most," Gwyndrael says, but then asks, "So what about are you interested in?"
"Wow, I know how that goes," Tasha says with a huge, put upon sigh. "There was this Eeee I really liked, we got along great, right? I wanted him around more. Then I died and I can't even remember his name. But I liked him. Instead I remember the before and after dying part. Oh and being a gigantic space-snake that could break reality. That was the best. In hindsight. At the the time it was a lot. I digress."
Tasha rolls over to look the dragon face-to-face. "So, I wanted to know, what did you think of your leader? Kainudy. Fair warning, I'm pretty sure the kitsune is listening in."
"Ah, the General," Gwyndrael says. "I first met here, in the Holy City. She was holding.. I suppose it was a rally? I'd never seen so many dragons in one place without breaking out into a fight. I figured anyone who could manage that was worth listening too. She told us about the situation with the Steel Dragons, and the hardships involved. But she really spoke to the nobility of dragons, and what we could accomplish together, and.. why immortals should care. It moved me, and a lot of others. I just wanted to follow her. She didn't promise us anything for joining, beyond that it give our lives meaning."
"So your initial experience with her was positive," Tasha summarizes, even as she ferrets away the information in her mind. Ferret being appropriate as it may or may not be stolen at any point and she may never find it again. "And she lead not by force or coercion but by message and purpose." A nod, and an uncomfortable feeling, especially after her earlier reflection; echoes of her professor speaking on war echo in her mind once again. There are patterns and she doesn't like them, but that's not exactly why she's here, and so she presses on. "What about during the war?"
"At first, it was.. weird," Gwyn recalls. "Dragons don't really fight wars, we're usually about one-on-one battles, but we worked together for this. And with both of the fey factions. I know that they did not make a lot of progress on their own. But she had us working in the way that used our strength, and covered each other's weaknesses. And we brought down gods. At least that's what it felt like. Some were weak, some were strong, and some were outrageously strong. It was never boring. It never felt wrong that it was a war of genocide. Her tactics always worked, she always knew where the next Molreyekarin was hiding, right up until.."
Here, Gwyn pauses and her prosthetics twitch.
"The biggest one, right? The Voldremiyk. Voldre- I'm just going to stop. You know who I mean." Tasha isn't sure she should provide comfort, dragons don't seem like beings that rely heavily on interpersonal support, but she also feels that if she could have provided support and didn't that would be far worse than providing it when it wasn't appreciated, so she scoots over and pulls Gwyndrael's forepaw in to her lap. It's not quite holding her hand, but it's the best she can do.
The dragon seems to focus on that gesture for a moment, before she continues. "Yeah, an actual god. All along, we had a special weapon that made success possible at all, a dragon wizard named Pelladon. He was a master of soul magic, so once we defeated one of the enemy, he would shatter its soul to make sure it couldn't come back. But in that first battle against Vorgulremik, he fell. And so did Kainudy, after a fashion. Something knocked her out, and then we realized how much she'd been propping us up, because the full force of Vorgulremik's dragon aura hit us then and we.. fell apart. And I got my injuries. We all went to lick our wounds. That was the end of the war for me. I still question just how much she might have been manipulating us, but I don't regret any of it."
"I'm going to now tell you what I know, because you deserve to know. And.. " Tasha takes a deep breath, patting the paw for Gwyndrael ad for herself, exhales, and then nods, ".. and because I'm in a similar situation to what Kainudy was in. There are people like you who follow me, and I've tended to keep them in the dark on a great many things. This wasn't intentional deception for deception's sake, to further some plan, I wasn't and probably am not that sophisticated and I hope I'm not that callous. But I hide things all the same, because I don't want to hurt them, or worry them, or because I.. I doubt their capability against what I might discuss. And if they were to fall, I couldn't forgive myself. Better it be me."
Tasha shifts her position, resting her head on the paw. "I tell you my part mainly so you understand my involvement here, why I'm telling you all of this, and to maybe give perspective. First, I am Kainudy's apprentice. Second, she is -- or at least was -- still alive as the last time I spoke to a certain deity -- whom I won't name. Third, she as betrayed by the fey -- the Seelie I believe -- and vanished not due to accident but due to machination. Fouth, she established and lived on a world for a time; it was destroyed by beings like those I fight against, and she lost nearly everyting. Fifth, she is the Queen of Demise. Sixth, that is probably my fault. Not entirely but.. But I am the trigger. Seventh, the reason for victories and the cause of being the Queen of Demise are related; when that dragon wizard fell a connection broke. And finally, eight, I am trying to fix what I can -- to get some small part of what was lost and make up for my mistakes."
Gwyn is quiet for a bit, before saying, "Well, given the rumors, I suppose that all fits. I still followed things while I was recovering. Even after that first battle, a few returned to fight. But we were at full force then before that, and we lost at least half of our fighters and mages then. And the new tactic actually divided that even further, with half-again going out to set traps, and the rest driving Vorgulremik towards them. That's just a quarter of our original force, but they did keep him on the run. I couldn't understand how, but the rumor was that Kainudy now possessed Pelladon's soul, because she was suddenly using magic and something had changed in her personality. But when the trap was sprung, that smaller force was able to defeat a Dragon God. But there weren't many survivors, and there were a lot of rumors about what actually happened. But if I were the elves, I'd be very nervous that Kainudy survived. And I'm not at all surprised that their attempts to get rid of her failed. I do know that she was acting very broken at the time."
"That answers some questions I had," Tasha admits after a moment to consider. "I knew the Kainudy of 'then' and 'now' were different, but not the exact cause. I knew she absorbed the mage's soul -- at his request -- and I have personally been.. Been inside that soul. That's another story but it is part of why it all.. transpired. The Queen of Demise's return, I mean. I was there at the beginning and at the transition point. The Fey detected my entry to Kainudy's realm and eventually attacked; we were able to deflect them long enough for Kainudy to recover from the.. The injuries I inflicted upon her." The young woman lays her ears back and pushes her muzzle in to the paw. "That was a horrible time. I was glad to have a chance to defend her, at least. I am looking after some of her children. There's more I want to do. It's true she's engaged with Thotep's avatar, which is also when we parted ways. I couldn't help there. The others I'd mentioned I'd been searching for? They're still with her."
Tasha scratches her nose and flicks her ears. "I can't help against him for complicated reasons, not the least of which are my involvement with the Outer chaos gods, which is its own problem. What I was able to find is a lead on how souls may be shorn from demon-like beings, and how those beings may be traversed. I want to try and recover both Kainudy's daughter and her mate."
"I've heard about her children, how one rescued the survivors of that final battle. I suppose she must have had a mate then, but it seemed like something you did not ask her about," Gwyndrael notes. "She was close to Pelladon, but they didn't have the sort of relationship that mates would. The war lasted for over a century, and she never lay with anyone, but I suppose I just assumed at the time it was because she was a false dragon, so there couldn't be any mutual attraction."
"But it's wise that you don't mention her or your relationship to just any dragon," she advises. "Those that quit the war and therefore survived may not be so kind as I. Many feel they were betrayed, or used up as part of some dark purpose, and that she never even needed our help in the first place."
"There was another, actually. A red dragon. Khryss. He was her mate, and there was a daughter. They were lost to the attack on the planet; the being you know of as her daughter is more complex than that, she is, hmm, a kind of construct. Her emotional scars are deep. From what Kainudy told me both her mate and the daughter were lost during an educational session of astral projection. That's also how, um, well, Kainudy tried to show me how that could.. Could go wrong and.. ahh.. " Tasha draws in a deep breath, fingers clenching. "It went badly. Badly. That was the trigger. Something like that destroyed the two, but it was a free demon and not a demon chained to Kainudy's soul. Demonic power is how she won.. It's how I am winning."
"There seems to be much that I don't know about her then," Gwyndrael says. "Such as how she always knew where to find the Steel Dragons. As soon as we put one down, she was already preparing the gate to the next one."
"Some sense of them I'm sure. They could destroy a soul, so it's possible they carried a demonic essence, which can be tracked by the right senses and magic. I can perceive demonic and other energies, for example; I can see the nature of your wounds and knew roughly how they were made. She must have had something like that. But all those details aside, do you think she deserved to be turned on? Deserves to have lost her world, to suffer alone and broken? Do you think Khryss deserves to be torn about by demons? That the child did?" Tasha looks up now, head tilting.
"Me?" Gwyndrael blinks. "Well, I am in the justice faction. Was it just that those happened? On the face of it, no. Where they necessary, however? That is harder to ask. The line of causation is fraught with bias, and fear is always a hidden factor. The battle between the Queen of Demise and Nyarlothotep may determine the future of the Dreamlands, and nobody knows what will happen if the Queen of Demise wins. But, because the dragon war, and hindsight, I can't really say which is the more just event. If she had not lost her family, would Kainudy ever have come to the fey plane and been in a position to deal with the steel dragon threat? Would someone else have stepped in who could unite all the factions, overcome their ancient rivalries and hatred, and wipe out the threat? How many worlds would an unchecked Vorgulremik destroy, getting more powerful each time? It's that last one that makes me wonder. The other dragon gods would have had to act then, but dragon gods don't work together on anything. They'd wait until their domains where at risk before acting, and by then it might be too late."
"In some cases, the future can affect the past," the dragon adds. "Don't ask me to explain how though, as it is too complicated for me to fully grasp."
"So essentially you're saying because everyone else is kind of useless it's necessary for a already suffering individual to be sacrificed so they can continue to be kind of useless, but at least, existent." Tasha's expression goes very flat. Even her ears flatten. "I don't believe the results justify things. I believe each part should be measured individually. Perhaps worlds would have fallen, but also, we see how irresponsible and undermotivated the defenders, gods, and dragons were to defend themselves. It's saying their failure demanded someone be sacrificed for their protection. I say because of their failure someone had to be sacrificed for their protection. In that sense I find it very unjust, individually and together. The loss of a child because it happens to be useful is still benefiting from a child's demise willingly. I find beings everywhere run away from reality, seeing their stained hands, and facing the horrors. They hide behind heroes and sacrifices because they're weak. And that's fine. I know a great deal more about mortal and immortal weakness than I did. But letting the balance remain in their favor after they are saved, that's too much. They don't need to worry so they cease to care, and in that they are guilty. So are the gods. They should redress the cost of burden they dumped on a being's shoulders; if she saved worlds then she is owed the cost of those worlds."
Tasha leans back, poking a finger down in to the paw in the manner of some tapping a desk while they make a point. "Relying on heroes is fine. Every being has strengths and weaknesses, however large are small. It's forgetting them, using them, abandoning them, and worst of all turning on them, that is wrong. They save you, and do you save them? No. More is taken. More so people can feel safe, get more. The greed and self-righteousness of civilizations and people kind of disgusts me. There have been time I considered abandoning people, and maybe I would have if not for the few I believe in, trust, and who support me."
And so Tasha spreads her hands. "If all of you won't help her, I will. For my mistake and because I believe she deserves more. I also don't like standing by when I see things like this. I stepped in before to save a child related to hr, and I want to try again now. I know I'm not the best at things, but I mean to try. And now that I said my piece, and you said yours, I think more people than just myself owe her some help."
"Does anyone else know of her burden?" Gwyndrael asks, tilting her head again. "The Kainudy that we saw was a positive force. If that wasn't the reality, then that was a reality she chose to hide from us. We weren't aware of the issue with the Seelie court until after the fact, and even then we only had rumors. To some dragons, she was a deceiver or worse, and to others she was a protector who made sure we weren't affected by the auras of our enemies, that we wouldn't be afraid or corrupted. Both are valid views, and both could be true without conflicting. She returned to the elven court, not to us. That came across as.. a lack of faith in dragons. That's how I took it. To her, we abandoned the fight once it got hard, leaving it all up to her and the elves. We certainly didn't think she'd suddenly vanish less than a year after the war ended, while on a victory tour no less."
Tasha crosses her arms. "I suppose so. I can see why some entities would fear her and-or resent her and I can definitely see her not telling people her problems, mostly because a lot of those same people then stabbed her in the back or, as we just said, feared her. If anyone beyond knew -- gods, and so on -- I guess I'll leave it to them to work out. If they feel they benefited unevenly, they should help. And if they're good beings, they should help out not because they owe it, but because help needs to be given. Still, there's different kinds of help, so I'll leave the kinds I can't give to them. For my part, fighting demons is what I do, so that's what I'm going to do." Tasha pats the paw and then leans forward. "Care to help me? It's to save a child and a nice person, to help someone who helped you. And if that's not enough, you're all worried she might win. Even if it's for your own sake, do you really want her to win with a chip on her shoulder? And, don't you want to show her the so-called honor of dragons was more than just a fad? Temporarily motivating talk cast aside once things were hard, over?"
"Hmmm, you're trying to recruit for your crusade, is that it?" Gwyndrael asks. "It was very exciting back then. Not many dragons like excitement, if you haven't realized yet. I haven't felt that alive since. Mind you, I still have nightmares about my last battle, and the shameful terror I felt. So.. if I do, I need to finish some tasks first. Is there a way to contact you?"
"I think Kai can help there. I'm actually connected to Kai and some of the others, and we're staying in a fey lord's old domain. I need to return there and recover, and there's a lead I have on saving Khryss and their daughter -- should I wait on you before attempting that? I'm not even sure which reality the target it is in, so we may head in to my reality or another. I have a map. Oh! Right."
Tasha taps her head. "Lila-ren is worried because I'm possessed by a daemon. Intentionally. I also seem to possess a conceptual silver key to the Dreamlands, and the daemon is both a map and a means for me to 'see the ungliness that is hidden'. I think she's worried about me. Oh and fair warning: Outer gods are aware of me, and I work with one in particular I.. I kind of owe him. It's awkward."
"So, with all of that, are your anchors to your sanity and reality pretty good?" Gwyndrael asks. "Perhaps it will be easiest to have 'Kai' contact me when you've returned to your home."
Tasha raps her head with a knuckle. "I'm doing pretty okay," she answers, a phrase she copies directly from a similar answer Hakeber gave when she was asked a similar question recently. "I had a lot of help getting put back together. That's another reason I can't turn away from the people who help me. Even Old Mr. Yellow. Lila-ren asked what I'm loyal to once, well, there it is. People who love me, help me, believe in me, and who need me to help them. Maybe others, too. It's complicated. But however I seem, it's not just food. I mean food helps, but, wait, no, it's not food. But yes: Kai."
"What is Kai, exactly?" Gwyndrael whispers, practically sticking her snout into Tasha's ear.
This makes Tasha giggle unexpectedly -- to herself and perhaps to Gwyndrael. She almost bats the snout away until she hears the whisper. "Kainudy's autonomous bad feelings sass-bot."
"What?" Gwyndrael asks. "What do you mean by bad feelings sass-bot? Did you mean bottle?"
"You don't know about robots?" Tasha leans back, surprised. "Oh.. Well, I suppose maybe you wouldn't. Um. Think magical Tasha. Autonomous homunculus made from negative emotions and probably other things. Surprisingly horny; unsurprisingly full of sass. She's probably listening right now but she knows what she did. Also, I think she's my minder along side her sister. They're probably making sure I don't go full doom angel."
"She's not an elf or a human then?" the dragon asks. "She didn't smell of magic though. And she has a sister?"
"Kai's really good at hiding. And her sister is, hmm, a being from the world Kainudy lived on. She used to be a gigantic tree. It's, um, a sore spot. They don't get along well. I also hurt her during the aftermath of my fight with Kainudy, I did it to save her, but I was.. I was ungentle. I wasn't recovered from what happened but I'm not sure even now that's a excuse. It was a hard time for everyone. Anyway, the other 'sister' is Galatea. They were both made by Kainudy for different purposes and ended up wandering after she vanished," Tasha explains. "In fact Kai is surely watching me."
"Well, you both do look cute together," Kai notes, sitting on the edge of the table with the water and treats. This causes Gwyndrael to do something that Tasha feels. Magic? The dragon certainly tenses up. "The main different between me and Galatea is that I won't kill Tasha if Kainudy doesn't return from being the Queen of Demise."
Whatever it is causes Tasha to sneeze, then look around bemusedly. She does not seem to react to Kai's appearance however, who often appears in her life to make sarcastic commentary. After she rubs her nose and looks to Gwyndrael and shrugs a little. "Kai's probably right. I don't think I can let her, but maybe I can't stop her either. And don't think I'm doing this because Galatea is threatening me either, she's hardly the first powerful being to threaten me. I just feel more badly for her than most."
"You would like her, Gwyndrael Stormborn," Kai comments. "She serves Justice as well, albeit involuntarily. Sooo many executions."
"I am no executioner," Gwyndrael says. "I'm an Advocate."
"That means she's a lawyer," Kai stage-whispers to Tasha.
"She really doesn't like executing people either. So would Galatea try to kill me because she's compelled, because she doesn't understand complex problems, or because she sees me as a mother-stand-in who is easier to get revenge on? Some other reason? I usually feel both really bad for her and want to help her, but she can be a bit grating in her weird way. Which can also be endearing. And offputting." Tasha frowns. "Also she has my Marker. She never forgave me for stabbing her, you see."
At the lawyer comment Tasha then turns to Gwyndrael and raises a brow. "Really? Lawyers on my world were all advocates for wealthy people; I've been told they do other things in different cultures."
"I am an advocate for those who have been accused of a crime," Gwyndrael claims. "If I believe they are innocent," she adds. "Sometimes it us just a formality. Bureaucracy and all."
"Oh, I think she just wants to kill you for turning her mother into a raging monster," Kai replies to Tasha. "And for giving her your pain with that little jab."
"Liiiines," Tasha bemoans. She flops back on Gwyndrael's paw. "I guess I'm more of a.. A traveling problem solver. I used to be part of a more formal arrangement until I followed a lead and went off in a new direction. Now I'm a universe-hoping avenger and apparently," she glances towards Kai, ".. problem creator. In my defense I was very clear to her I was barely functional and I had just stopped being my own rampaging monster because of Kainudy's lets-see-how-you-handle-having-your-soul-eaten-trial. Have you ever had your soul eaten? Right, because it's the worst thing you can do to someone. Samael wasn't exaggerating. I can only even talk about it because that part of my soul is missing. Help me out here Gwyndrael?"
"I've had pieces shaved off of it," Gwyndrael says, and flexes her mechanical wing. "And I don't have a soul to eat," Kai claims. "But I have tasted some."
"Also I'm pretty sure I didn't turn her in to that. I triggered it, but I'm sure Persephone said that problem had been put off several times already. The whole eating-all-the-demons-and-souls thing. Also also, I stabbed her because her mother was about to vacuum us both up -- and how would Kainudy feel if she later found out she ate both her tree-child and her apprentice? Imagine the guilt." Tasha folds her arms. "I'm not saying I didn't screw up, but Galatea only focuses on small parts of the thing. I ran out of ideas and she was just off crying, I was the only one left who could make a decision -- me, after I had my soul eaten, holes poked in it, and after a rampage! I feel like I deserve some consideration."
"Eh, she probably wouldn't have noticed by that point," Kai says. "See, the Queen of Demise is pain, guilt, regret, loss and anger given form."
"Well I'm assuming someone would have saved her here, if no one stopped her that's a totally different story." Tasha huffs, which actually makes her neck ruff up a bit. "And see, against all that was just broken little me. Galatea -- who is like hundreds of years old and used to be a world-tree I might add -- was busy crying. I came up with -- effective! -- idea that if Kainudy could feel and relate -- empathize -- with someone she cared about we could snap her out of it. It made her pause. I think that helped Khyriss help us. Or, maybe it didn't and all I achieved was making her pause, but that was something. Something. The worse things get the harder I will try, and that can mean sacrifices, whatever is better than the worst happening. Galatea just gets a free pass because she's forced to kill and hurt. I have to chose."
"Well, nobody gets a free pass," Kai claims. "Except me! Because I don't leave survivors, which I think is the best policy for most things. Otherwise I'd be as bad as Galatea, always running from everything and telling people to forget about her."
"I find this situation highly unfair and unjust," Tasha complains to Gwyndrael, then she just flops against her. "I guess you'll meet Galatea soon. Oh, and Katie's going to love you."
"Who is Katie?" Gwyn asks. "Another dragon?"
"Maybe in spirit, she's a Karnor a, um, a wolf-person. She's also my mate along side Gabriel, who is also a wolf-person. Katie lives silver, mechanical things, music, technology, and she's kind of intimidating." Tasha gives a little shrug. "Our camp is full of interesting people. Except Lacci."
"Lacci sounds like an anchor then," Gwyndrael says. "Are you heading back to your base from here.. wait.." The dragon turns her head to glare at Tasha for a moment. "You mentioned being possessed by a daemon??"
Tasha rolls over to face the glare, ears back. It makes her look like a chastised puppy. "W-what why are you mad? And why now? I was looking for answers and Kai said they might be in the dragon city of knowledge! Well, the book I found was a book about evil, I asked questions and I ended up with the daemon and a key. And a a bleeding face, but I'm okay now. Probably!"
"Hmm, I didn't really process it before because you don't feel different than before, but that must be why you wanted to meet outside the city walls," Gwyndrael says. "Still.." She stares into Tasha's eyes and begins reciting something that doesn't get translated.
"I'm not sure if 'don't seem that different when possessed' is a good attribute," Tasha remarks, ears going askew as she's being chanted at. "It might be the Sign. Lila thinks it's a trap for higher dimensional shadows. Not Shadows, demons, but the shadows of higher dimensional beings. Like stepping on their foot."
"You're carrying a seal of some sort?" the dragon stops chanting to ask.
"The 'Elder Sign' apparently. And the key. I think the key helps," Tasha answers.
"I'll want to see how it works at some point," Gwyn says. And Kai gives her a thumbs-up for some reason.
Tasha looks between the two. "I think I felt a cold breeze. Kai doesn't team up unless things are messy."
"Oh, it's just that of course you are going to be monitored while you use the key, because you use it in your dreams," Kai explains.
"I'm going to explode or something," Tasha laments as she flops back down again. "In my dreams and then in reality. Galatea will get her wish."
"Exploding in a dream doesn't hurt you, beyond psychological trauma," Kai says, waving a hand. "And you need a few more protective scars and callouses in that area, if you ask me."
"Fine, dream battling it is. It sounds very useful at least, we do have a lot to do with the Dreamlands, and probably will have more to do in the future if a certain someone wins. I mean, someone's got to rule it, right? Plus, I like the place full of cats." Tasha's tail wags. "Oh, speaking of weird places, any idea about a black crystal sword-like thing floating in space, Kai?"
"You mean how to make one?" Kai asks.
"No, where one is. I saw one, the book showed me. It was apparently the key to helping Kainudy through the method we discussed. 'Floating in space' and 'large sword-like object' wasn't very helpful to understand what I was looking at, though. I have a route but I don't know what it is or even how big it is. Do you?" Tasha's ears perk.
"Well, space is big, and dark, and literally everything can be found in it," Kai notes, looking upward and tapping her chin. "How large is large?" she then asks.
"It seemed like a hand-held sword at first, but it might actually be the size of a space craft. Black, crystalline. I think it was all black and crystalline," Tasha describes, her hands out indicating size. "There was an expanse of stars behind it. It took a really long time for the daemon to absorb the knowledge needed to locate it. Much longer than everything else took. It supposedly has something to do with entering a demon and severing the souls contained within, possibly time and universal travel via demonic interior space."
"I don't know of any black crystal other than obsidian," Kai says. "There's timestone and anti-timestone, the latter being very effective against matter in general. But the whole Exotic Weapon Made Of Black Crystal Floating In Space aesthetic suggests Thotep to me."
Tasha frowns at that. "It does, doesn't it? That's a.. Problem. I mean, if it's his, it's not going to be of much use helping her. It could even make things worse. Maybe we should find another way? Which would be a problem, because I don't as yet have another one."
"Ask some other gods," Kai suggests. "It sounds like a god thing, and there are dark gods other than ol' Thotep. But I'm guessing any civilization that discovered it before is long gone. Maybe the Vril-ya would know. Too bad Thoth isn't available right now."
"Yeah, and I can't reach Atum without entering the Way, and that means I'd need three Markers and a long trip to a Gate. Bahamut's right around the way, but I don't think the gods here would be aware of it. There's the Vril'ya that remain in my reality, but they're not exactly easy to find or reach -- Eve is probably dead, not to mention buried beneath tons of rock and Human supremacy. There's Marduk and his children who exited reality but may still be reachable, Thoth was trying to get me to reach them before he, uh, left. The Titanian creator is supposedly also still around. I don't know any gods attached to my reality beyond the Outer Gods and the Ogdoad, and the latter certainly aren't going to help me," Tasha considers.
"Horus?" Kai suggests. "Oh, also not available at the moment."
"And probably arguing with Thoth to boot. Horus isn't intact so there may be other fragments of him, we're not limited to just one Marker fragment. However, Markers are not common, and even the ones the Fleet had were precious relics. Even the one tossed in a sun was recovered. I don't know where any Markers are except one: Eve's. And Eve's is deep in Human-controlled space, surrounded by Human supremacists," Tasha admits, frowning. "I'm not even sure she has a Marker to find, either."
"Didn't that book tell you how to contact dark gods from beyond space and time?" Gwyndrael asks.
"Sure, if I had the book. It listed a great many of them. The god mentioned another. I mean we could go back and look?" Tasha scratches her head; her ears flick with the movement. "There's Yog-Sothoth, who seems to be on the same level of power as the Null and Thotep, but he also doesn't seem to care about life. Which reminds me: There's the Null, but he's very hard to speak to and told me he's limited. There's also Nodens who seemed okay. Maybe the daemon might know more?"
"Can you talk to it?" Gwyndrael asks.
"I'lllll trrrry," Tasha answers. She sits up, holds a hand out to Gwyndrael to indicate she should stay back, then walks away from the dragon and Kai. "Lets see what I can do. Just be ready if I start summoning avatars or turn in to a snake or something."
The dragon doesn't exactly stand back, since that would put her outside of the tent, but she's doing something since her lips are moving, even though Tasha doesn't hear anything coming from them.
"Here goes. I'm going to let the Sign drop, because it hates it and I can't interact with it well while it's going." Tasha pulls in a breath. Externally it just looks like she closed her eyes,internally she's re-arranging her defenses, lowering the sign from mental view, and internally trying to bring 'the snake' in to focus.
Instead, she gets Blackwings' voice, sounding like it's coming from the bottom of a well. "Hello, Tasha."
"Hellloooo," Tasha draws out, not certain to whom she's actually speaking. She repeats her thoughts out loud for the others to contemplate. "Blackwings, or something else? You know what I want?"
"You'll need a sacrifice," the voice replies.
"I'll need a sacrifice," Tasha relates aloud in the tone of someone rather disappointed and not looking forward to what's coming next.
And apparently what comes next is silence, as if whomever she's talking to is waiting for a response.
"What kind of sacrifice? I think I have a few ration bars left. They're okay," Tasha offers, strongly suspecting that may not do it.
"The dragon," is the answer.
"No." Tasha throws the wards back up without a second thought. She opens her eyes and gives the others a very strong, thin-lipped shake of her head.
"Well, there's also Tatha-hem," Kai suggests. "Pretty sure she'd have a line on ol' Yoggy."
"Good, because the snake asked for Gwyndrael. I'm tempted to just have it purged from my being and to hell with whatever it knows. The key may have to be enough," Tasha relates. She begins to walk over to sit down beside the dragon, pauses, then sits on the far side of the tent instead.
"No, no purging of stuff we had to cross several planes to get," Kai says, making a cutting motion with her hands.
"Fine, but I'm not sacrificing anyone to it. Maybe not even enemies. There's a limit." Tasha turns to look at Gwyndrael to see what she thinks of this.
"Perhaps it was telling you what it needed for contacting a dark god, rather than for whatever its primary purpose is," the dragon suggests.
"Or because Gwyn is the only other soul in your immediate surroundings," Kai adds.
"Probably. Psychic flensing is a common requirement for drawing down such beings, or else establishing contact with them. And it may have chosen her because it hitter knew I'd refuse or knew it'd hurt me -- there's a corruptive element in trying to coerce me to sacrifice people I care about. It's already hard enough to do all of this without ending up.." Tasha gestures to her head," .. different."
"Yes, the term 'forbidden knowledge' generally implies that it is forbidden for a reason," Kai notes, sass-botically.
"You see what I mean," Tasha points out while gesturing in heavy indication to Kai. "She's supposed to be watching out for me and it's always this. Just a few days ago she tried to convince me I'm a succubus. Maybe Kainudy is extra shady."
"You should have seen her around felitaurs," Kai notes. "Enough sass to.. I dunno.. boil a potato?"
"Wait, when was this?? I think you're making this up. I don't remember any felitaurs," Tasha insists, arms crossed.
"Kainudy is old," Kai notes. "And there were a few of them as statues in the memorial garden, but there were a lot of statues to remember."
"To be fair cat-centaurs seem fun to tease. Sometimes I tease my cats and they usually claw me, but that's fine." Tasha stretches, then lays down where she is. "So I guess I can talk to Tatha'hem. I feel like she might be more interconnected with space than I thought, maybe she knows the object or can reach the god. I'm not sure if apathy is better or worse in a god, but I suppose we'll find out."