Herbert says, "Well, the Engine can sort of pull a spirit.. but only if we had her body of course."
Phillips Harbour.
Thursday, October 29. Evening.
After their -- escape? -- from the watching Masters, the Players and Companions are not in a great hurry to light the Spirit Lamp again, or continue Shaft's experiments. Dr. Townes and Mr. Shaft brief Mr. Girard and his Companion on what they learned about the nature of the Game and the spirit world from the Unicorn. The latter two decide they'd like to speak to the Unicorn themselves.
So they depart, leaving Shaft and Caliban to their own devices. Which, as it turns out, involves more necromancy. Caliban has hit upon the idea that Mrs. Everchild's ghost might help them yet. But her mortal remains are in the mortician's hands, and scheduled for burial tomorrow. Not that there's much time left before the Banefire in any case ....
Mr. Shaft and Caliban decide to try contacting her through a seance. Islington is aptyiclally unenthusiastic about doing so, but agrees to help and offers what knowledge and experience he has on the subject. Mrs. Everchild used to ... work with the Necromancer. I've seen seances before.
"What do we need, Islington?" Herbert asks, and looks to Caliban - since the ape will need to gather whatever the cat asks for, after all.
The chimpanzee ponders the problem at hand. Only kind of seance I saw was when my old boss was hired to 'work' one... Some deal with furniture floatin' around an' my boss pretended to be a servant, but when everyone's attention was on da ghostly voices, well... He makes dipping hand gestures and grins. He made some pretty good cash, but I don't think that's the kinda seance we want.
Hey boss, any chance we could drag Miss Pau in to help? asks Caliban, making hand gestures for a woman, then a bird.
Islington mews. The body. He paces the floor, marking out the rough shape of a prone human woman, by way of illustration. He eyes Shaft to see if he understands.
"Ah, of course!" Shaft says, and gets up. "I'll go and ask her, while you get things ready here, shall I?"
The feline gives Caliban an amused look. Yeah, Miss Pau will come in handy. He still doesn't have a clue what we're saying most of the time, does he?
Sorry, my boss is kind of oblivious at the best of times, the ape admits sheepishly. Nice guy, but... I wonder if not having a spirit hurts?
Herbert heads out of the door to find the remaining witch.. totally oblivious to the comments about him.
The chimpanzee ponders the problem. Wanna go out with the boss, Islington? I dun think it's a good idea to practice this seancing business around here. An' we're not gonna get any closer to the body stayin' in.
It can't help, Islington says sagely. Sure, let's go with him. He'll get in less trouble with us around. While they go to find Miss Pau, the cat continues to Caliban, I've heard of ways to do it without the body, but they're a lot less reliable. They all involve catching some living creature and killing it. Its spirit will then (ostensibly) find the spirit of the one you're looking for, and bring it back to you. The Necromancer said he'd heard it worked best if you had a willing human sacrifice, but of course he never tried it with one. And not just because finding a willing human sacrifice ain't easy.
Caliban makes sure things are reasonably tidy, obviously occult workings covered up and the like, then grabs a work jacket and hurries to catch up. Not just because?
Islington eyes Caliban. He had morals, you know.
Hey, I dunno anything about this seance business, or who dis Necromancer was, the chimpanzee protests. I always got the impression people who did that sort of thing well, er, didn't worry about whether the sacrifice was willin' or not.
Have you ever paid attention to what your master does? Islington asks, incredulously.
It's science! That's completely different, the chimpanzee says sagely. If you wanna know more about the human body, you gotta have a human body to study, right?
Caliban points out quickly, Not that we go about making people dead for science, y'know. That's important.
Yeah, well, if you want to know about the human spirit, you gotta have a human body, too. Islington's tail swishes. It's dark outside, and with all the strangeness going on recently, most of the townspeople are in the habit of retiring as soon as the sun goes down. Caliban spies some eyes watching between curtains as they proceed through the streets. Lei intercepts them when they reach Mrs. Stephenson's property, saving them the difficulty of figuring out how to get Miss Pau's attention without waking her hostess.
The chimpanzee nods thoughtfully. So, no body, no... Intermediary spirit? Like, if we could get Marseilles or someone to find Miss Everchild's ghost, we wouldn't need a seance?
A few minutes later, Lei directs them to the barn -- empty save for the livestock -- where Miss Pau meets them. "Good evening, my friends." She offers a wan smile to the man and his animal companions; she looks drawn and pale. "Have you had any luck in determining what nourishes spirits from the other side."
Islington pauses at that. Huh. I never heard of it working like that, but it might. Theory matches.
'Cept Marseilles ran off with Trouble an hour ago, so we gotta find a different spirit. Hey, g'evening Miss! says the chimpanzee, greeting Miss Pau with a warm smile and wave. Well, I'm guessin', but it's the air or the fish.
"Not as such, no," Herbert admits. "We've made some headway in defense.. but also managed to contact two of the Master spirits. Have you had any communications from them?"
Miss Pau shakes her head, putting a hand to her mouth. "No, I have not! Are you all right?"
Fine, I just wish I'd been able to grab somethin' from there, the chimpanzee says disgruntledly. An' it's kinda like they contacted us.
"I was left out of it, but Caliban can explain it all in detail," Herbert says. I'm not sure the spirits were aware of me at all, really."
Can't say I'm sorry I hid in the closet and missed the whole thing. Islington swishes his tail again. He stares at Lei. Lei scootches closer to her mistress's neck.
The chimpanzee describes the experience, so that Miss Pau can translate for his master. See, the boss decided to get Marseilles's attention with the Spirit Lamp. Turns out that kinda drew the Masters' attention, like you're out in the dark and someone turns a light on. We were gonna hide at first, but Girard popped out an' decided to have a chat with 'em. He pauses. We mentioned he's back yet? Well, he is, brought his snooty know-it-all bird with him too. He recounts the experience from there.
Near as I can make out, Caliban says summing it up. They played it like the constables do sometimes, one pretends to be the good guy who just wantsa help ya, make this world 'bloom' like the other side, the other one just said 'Let us in, we'll give ya lotsa good stuff,' an' didn't make out like it was for a good cause. He pauses for a bit of thought. I gotta admit, the chimpanzee booty-dancers were kinda cute, but he didn't even play it like it was gonna do us any good in the end.
"They don't sound open to negotiation," Herbert comments. "I think our best strategy is still to try and destroy or capture them. If they can be bound to objects, they should not give us further trouble. We were also hoping to enlist the aid of Mrs. Everchild's ghost if possible."
Miss Pau listens attentively, taking the story in. She pays particular attention to Caliban's recounting of their apparent 'setting', asking several questions about where they appeared to be both before and after some semblance of logic was forced upon us. "Amazing," she says. "I've never heard anything like; it sounds very different from the most astral experiences. I wish I knew what to make of the 'frozen' imagery. Were the Masters preventing you from touching their world, or was that only a reflection of the still-intact Barrier between the worlds?"
She turns to Herbert. "I do not know what Mrs. Everchild will be able to do for us now, if anything. I would hope that her spirit has already moved on ... at least, I would normally hope that. I am not sure that binding the Master spirits to objects would render them helpless. Many of the Artifacts still have their own will and ability to shape events, despite their inanimate forms. And they have been diminishing here on Earth for millenia."
At around the end, I managed to put enough oomf in to break the shell, the chimpanzee says, then sighs. I couldn't do it in time to grab anything solid before the vision was over though. So, I dunno... Not real keen on a re-do though.
Caliban adds, 'Least, not while they're watchin'.
"Mrs. Everchild hasn't had her funeral yet, so there may be a chance she is still close by," Shaft says. "I don't suppose you have any Eastern seance techniques that would be useful?"
"The only rituals I know for the dead are to encourage them to move on to a new incarnation," Miss Pau answers. "I know some spells for helping one remember past lives, but assuming she has reincarnated, she would be far too young for such techniques."
Boss, Islington says the way he's always seen the Necromancer do it is, we need the body, or a sacrifice, an' if we get a sacrifice, we ask its spirit to go find Mrs. Everchild's spirit, the chimpanzee says, filling his master in on some of what Islington said while Miss Pau can translate. Me, I think if all we need is a ghost to go talk to Mrs. Everchild... Well, if we could find Marseilles, we'd be all set.
Herbert looks to Islington, and asks, "Do we have a chance with Marseilles? Calling her with the Lamp would be problematical right now." To everyone in general, he asks, "Any suggestions on contacting her? She should still be with Trouble."
How about... Spirit throwin'? asks Caliban of Miss Pau. You know any spells that, um, letcha throw yer spirit outta yer body for a bit so you can look around an' stuff? While me an' the old boss was at a seance back when, one of the guests kept natterin' on about things mediums were s'posta be able to do.
Boy, was he disappointed his great granddaddy's ghost didn't know where he'd buried the family stash, adds Caliban.
"I have done so," Miss Pau admits, "but it is a process fraught with dangers. It does heighten one's awareness of the spiritual world around us all, but I have never used it as a way to contact the recently deceased. I could try."
Lei flutters her wings nervously and chirps. I don't like that idea, she remonstrates Caliban.
"Just how dangerous?" Shaft asks. "With the barrier thinning, you could be noticed by those on the other side."
The chimpanzee scratches behind an ear, looking askance at Lei. So, it's not like takin' a stroll, just you're leavin' your body behind?
At that, Miss Pau herself looks alarmed. "I had not considered that ... but yes, I imagine it would be possible," she says to Herbert.
More like taking a swim through piranha- and shark-infested waters, Lei tells Caliban.
/Wait, could we use this to look on the other side, if the Masters weren't lookin'? asks Caliban curiously.
The chimpanzee ponders this comparison. Piranhas aren't so good, with just sharks, it might be doable. he concludes.
Islington chimes in, The Necromancer said the spirits of the dead were different from those of the living, in some quantitative way. Something like how it's differnt to disconnect your spirit temporarily from your body and to have your body destroyed, so you're not in the same place when you're on the astral. It's easier to find the spirits of the living when you're alive, and easier for the dead to find the dead. That's why you had to send something dead to find a ghost.
"We have plenty of dead-spirit energy at our disposal," Herbert says. "And how much of her remains would really be needed?"
The chimpanzee wrinkles his nose. By the time we find Marseilles again, she'll be sniffin' tails an' stealin' hot pies off windowsills like Trouble.
"That's it!" Herbert says. "You are a genius among apes, Caliban. We don't need to lure Marseilles, just Trouble. She'll follow along."
Caliban looks puzzled at his master.
"She's with Trouble," Herbert points out. "And a big scruffy dog isn't that hard to find when you know his habits. Why, Lei could fly over to the other farm to see if he's there right now.. before the owls come out to hunt."
If there's anything I've learned about Trouble, the chimpanzee reminds his master. It's that he likes to make things inconvenient for people.
Lei bobs her head. I'll go look for Trouble, she offers. I don't mind. And I never have trouble with owls.
The chimpanzee smiles up at Lei. Thanks, you're a sweetheart.
"If he isn't somewhere convenient, we can wait until morning," Herbert reasons. "There are still some experiments I need to try with the Seal, which we may not need Marseilles for."
Islington wrinkles his whiskers. I've never heard of anyone trying it with less than the whole body. Ewwww. I guess you could try. Isn't being dead bad enough?
Lei preens Miss Pau's hair for a moment, then flies off to see if she can find the coyote.
"Living without a soul isn't all that comforting either, Islington," Shaft points out. "If we had some of Mrs. Everchild, I could render it to Necroplasm that would, essentially, house her spirit."
The chimpanzee scratches behind an ear. Not before the funeral, I don't think, Boss.
Hey, that didn't do a whole lot of good for your soul, did it? Islington bristles.
"Well.. true enough," Shaft admits. "And I've never tried to release a spirit from necroplasm before either. We really don't have the needed time though. It's a seance or nothing at all I'm, afraid."
I kinda think Islington's right, Boss, Caliban agrees. It'd be like tryin' to have a conversation with the cow after you've made it into beef stew. Look, isn't there this thing where you can go in to pay yer respects to someone before the funeral?
"Yes, the viewing," Shaft says. "I don't think we can perform a seance in the chapel though, not unnoticed."
The cat looks amused by that idea. I'm pretty sure they'd notice, yeah.
Can we, um... Claim it's some kinda photography thing? Maybe say we're tryin' to photograph a ghost? asks the chimpanzee. An' we can get the Rev to 'supervise'?
"I'm not sure we should admit to being able to photograph spirits, Caliban, but talking to Hale about it seems prudent, at least," Shaft admits.
Well, we got a lot of mileage out of this photography business already, boss, the chimpanzee says cheerfully. Maybe they're wonderin' why we haven't offered to take pictures of anything else yet.
Didn't you tell them you photographed spirits when you went to the Shelley house? Islington asks. I can't remember what your story was then. But I don't think you could disguise a seance as photography. I mean, what're you going to tell them the pentacle's for?
"Well, the Manor photo was supposed to have been.. accidental," Shaft notes. "Made with our normal camera. There are other issues though, such as the witchhunters. Even Hale may balk at performing such a ceremony in a church."
A pentacle, in a church? The chimpanzee appears to be given pause by this. Okay, that doesn't sound like a hugely good idea, after all. But, how much of her do we really need? Could we do it with, say, a lock of her hair or somethin'?
You could always steal the body, Islington offers pragmatically. It wouldn't be the first time, would it? Pau translates but looks a bit shocked at this idea.
But how would they have the funeral without the body? Caliban points out.
"It would be closed-casket, given her.. condition," Shaft notes, and then rubs between his eyes. "But that is incredibly complicated. Our best option is to use Marseilles."
I dunno. Do you care if they have the funeral? Islington asks, then fluffs his tail. You could put it back before the funeral? We've got all night. Assuming you're not planning on sleeping or anything.
Yeah, I want to pay my respects at the funeral, Caliban answers the cat, looking sad. An' if we did some kinda funky substitution thing, well, it just wouldn't be the same.
"I have considered giving up sleep for the rest of the Game," Pau says wryly. "I think being well-rested for the Banefire might be of more value than turning in circles looking for other preparations to make, though. Even so ... if we are to both Open and Close, we will need a very good plan indeed."
Islington splays his ears. Okay, then, he tells Caliban.
I'm kinda curious though, what's so dangerous about spirit throwing? asks Caliban.
"Do you have any extra preparations still to make before the Banefire?" Shaft asks Pau.
There's a lot of stuff out there that'll try to eat your spirit if it's loose, Islington says. Or catch you, or use you. You're really vulnerable.
"It is also easy to lose one's way in the astral," Miss Pau says. "You become unable to wake, lost in the astral. My tradition tells me that these lost souls are never reincarnated, cut off from the world. Last, it is said that your body may be taken when you are without it, subject to possession by other spirits."
The chimpanzee rubs his chin. But if we could see the other side, without these Masters in the way cloudin' things up... Would it be worth it?
"I think we've seen enough of the other side for now," Shaft says. "The risk of being captured or influenced seems too high, when we have no idea if any useful information could be obtained."
What we saw was what they wanted us to see though, Caliban points out. At first it was all iced over, then they made it like the ice was on us.
"Miss Townes and Mssr. Girard are our most experienced astral travelers," Herbert says, rubbing his chin. "If either or both of them are willing to give it a try, then so be it. But we aren't going to risk it with any novices, certainly."
The chimpanzee looks a little disappointed, but accedes to his master's logic. Okay, boss. Anything we can help you with, Miss Pau, while we're out here?
"But there is a Barrier, isn't there?" Miss Pau says. "That is what the Opening is all about. If we could take things from the other side at any time, then there would be no need for an Opening. Would there?"
Islington points out, Miss Townes has done it once. She's what I would call an amateur. Can't speak for that Girard fellow.
"It's thin enough to 'see' through now, and continues to get thinner until the Banefire," Shaft notes.
"And.. uh, it's possible that using the Spirit Lamp now causes it to weaken further, but I can't be certain," the man adds.
What? What makes you say that, boss? asks Caliban, alarmed.
"The Master that contacted you came after we'd run the Lamp," Herbert says. "So either they can see it now, or it allowed them to influence you through the barrier."
Pau nods to Shaft. "I believe that is the theory. But in truth, I do not believe that any power in either world can destroy the Barrier or Open the way until the Banefire. Openers have tried for millenia to circumvent the Game. But the timing, on this night of the second full moon in October by your Gregorian calendar -- it is crucial."
"Hmm, we never asked the Unicorn if spirits feel stronger under the light of a full moon," Shaft muses. "And I'd still like to see if the Lamp can be used to project the effect of the Seal of Solomon."
Yeah, boss, but it's like you said, the barrier is thin enough they can see through it... Talk through it, says Caliban. But, what do they see when they look through it? A lotta darkness, I bet, 'cause there's like no magic... No spirit-stuff.
Pau asks about the Seal of Solomon, and is intrigued by the answer. "I should like to see this device. My own spells involve symbols prominently. It may be that I can make something of this."
"I had hoped to see if our spirit-shielded material also protected against the effects of the Seal," Shaft explains. "For people with spirits, the Seal is uncomfortable to be around. But you can certainly come and examine the original symbolic version."
And it's pretty darn painful to actually wear, the chimpanzee points out. Professor Bird said somethin' about the Seal bein' stronger than the seal inside what was s'posta protect the guy wearin' it.
"Have you given up on the idea of synthesizing whatever it is that sustains spirits, that we lack in this world?" Pau asks. "It does sound like you are making more progress on weapons and defenses than on that."
Caliban looks at his master to explain our progress on that front.
"We just don't know what the material is or any of its properties," Herbert explains. "The Seal makes spirits feel sick though, so there might be something there that could be related. We just don't have time before the Banefire to find out. If we end up Closing though, you can be assured I will devote myself to finding this missing element."
It'd be nice to have a sample, admits the chimpanzee. Then we could figure out what the difference was.
"I wonder ... do you suppose we might have it backwards?" Pau asks. "Maybe it is not that the spirits lack sustenance, but that something in this world is a poison to them?"
The chimpanzee blinks at Miss Pau.
Herbert blinks at that. "Now that is an idea worth looking into," the man says. "Although I'm not certain it would explain the way spirits feel when exposed to the other side, even if only partially."
Wouldn't explain why they want into this world so badly, the chimpanzee points out. Y'know, boss, I'm wondering, why do they want the Portal open?
They've got plenty of spirits on their side, they've got whatever it is spirits need, why do they care what happens to a few ne'er-do-well spirits who ran off someplace different?
"Maybe they've run out of spirits to consume on the other side already, and want the ones that made it here," Shaft guesses.
The chimpanzee shivers. There's gotta be somethin' the Unicorn wasn't tellin' us about the old days, he supposes. The Sun, he made it sound like they were traitors. Maybe they took somethin' really valuable... Like, say, maybe that ice in their world, maybe it's 'cause the thingamajig's gone missing.
"It probably doesn't matter," Shaft says. "Our spirits are diminishing, and we have to stop it. Didn't the Sun spirit also claim to be God, pretty much?"
He called himself a 'Creator', an' the spirits who ran off, his creation, the chimpanzee says slowly.
"So why didn't it just make more to replace the ones that fled?" Shaft asks. "I don't trust it. It couldn't keep that other one out either, could it? The storm one?"
Caliban shrugs and waves a hand offhandedly. Yeah, it was like 'This is my turf, back off, bozo.'
Pau pulls her coat tighter around her, and Islington cozies up to Shaft's leg without really thinking about it. "Uncomfortable truths," Pau says softly.
"How long do you think Lei will search for?" Shaft asks, noticing the night chill now as well.
Lei's a night-ingale, the chimpanzee quips.
Pau looks around, too. "She might be gone quite a while, but I can recall her at need. She is fond of the coyote, fonder than of his master. She'd be glad to see him again. And, as Caliban notes, she's accustomed to being out at night. She slept most of today."
Hey, how's that work, your calling Lei back any time? asks Caliban curiously. It'd be really handy if the boss could do that an' let me know if he's got trouble, when I'm out, cas-- er, catching some night air.
"I'm thinking we should get some rest," the man says. "Mrs. Everchild's funeral is tomorrow, and there's much left to do before the Banefire yet. What, Caliban, like a.. dog-whistle?"
Hmmm, I dunno that I have hearing that good, boss, Caliban admits.
"Well, I'm not going to carry around a vooduon doll of you, Caliban," Shaft declares.
The chimpanzee looks thoughtful. Yeah, bad juju if it got into the wrong hands, boss, but if we could make a voodoo doll of Trouble...
"He'd only steal it," the man says. "I'm sure Miss Pau and Lei use magic of some sort. You know I can't do magic."
Caliban grins up at his boss. Nah, boss, but maybe there's some way you can rig up a Caliban-Caller thingamajig, like the Engine.
"All I can think of is shining a signal unto a cloud with the Babbage's lantern," Herbert notes. "Which is only useful at night."
Might be onto something, but that'd let everyone know something was up, the chimpanzee points out. An' what if you're, like, bein' attacked by something?
Miss Pau giggles at their banter. "Lei and I have been together a long time. It is a kind of magic, I suppose you would say, but grown from the bond between us rather than a specific spell cast with symbols and powders and trinkets."
More soberly, she adds, "And Mr. Shaft is correct, I do not believe it would work for you."
The chimpanzee looks a bit abashed. Oh well, thanks anyhow, Miss!
"Probably because we are men," Shaft says, nodding his head.
The Chinese woman hides a smile behind her hand, and nods. "I fear such things will not be important for much longer. But there was something else you wished of me, was there not? Have you decided how you will attempt to contact Miss Everchild, if you do at all?" She frowns thoughtfully. "You know, if you only need be in the presence of her body, could you not hold the seance at the graveyard, after her burial?"
I dunno, pentacle in a graveyard isn't that much better than in a church, is it? asks Caliban of Islington.
"If we can find Marseilles by then, I suppose that would work," Shaft says. "It all depends on if we can do without the physical trappings of the ceremony, and rely on the ghost-girl to bring her to us."
Islington swishes his tail. Except the funeral will have people at it, and the graveyard'll probably be empty after nightfall. You could do it then.
We'll have to make sure the carekeeper's away, Caliban suggests. Wanna just tie him up and put him somewhere safe for a few days, boss?
"It would be better if Mrs. Stephenson came to the funeral so he could ask her out afterwards," Herbert suggests.
Wait, what, boss? asks Caliban.
"Mr. Hobson is still smitten with her, after all," Shaft notes. "And it has gotten him out of the graveyard before."
Caliban scratches his head. I dunno, boss, I think we're asking an awful lot of Mrs. Stephenson. Are you sure you don't like the idea of just tying him up?
Herbert asks Miss Pau, "Does Mrs. Stephenson ever talk about him?"
Miss Pau smiles for a moment and nods. "She is very fond of him. It would take very little effort to persuade either of them to have dinner together on Friday night, I am sure. They would need a chaperone, of course. But Mrs. Stephenson planned to accompany me to the service in any case. Mrs. Stephenson is kindhearted, she would not like to think of a funeral without attendees because the deceased was new and friendless."
So how long and fancy a dinner would it have to be? inquires Caliban, looking over at Islington.
Not all that long. Hour or two should be plenty of time, Islington answers.
"I will try to drop a hint to Mr. Hobson at the service then," Shaft says, rubbing his chin. "Would you be a suitable chaperone, Miss Pau?"
We need to make sure they're having dinner somewhere away from the graveyard, suggests Caliban.
Miss Pau nods. "Yes, that should suffice."
Pau adds, "I shall convince Mrs. Stephenson to invite him for dinner here. At the farmhouse, that is, not in the barn."
"He certainly deserves a good home-cooked meal," Shaft agrees.
Are you sure tying him up wouldn't be easier? asks the chimpanzee one more time, already resigned that the answer will be no.
"I'm sure it would involve more complications, yes," Herbert notes. "It means we need not make too hasty a retreat should we survive to see All Saints Day."
Miss Pau smiles a little. "It is hard for me to see past the 31st, any more," she says quietly.
Caliban shrugs elaborately. Okay, if love buys us the time, that's great, but we might wanna have an alibi if someone asks where we were when this great big pentacle appeared in the graveyard, he ooks.
"Does it have to be big?" Shaft asks, looking to Islington. "I don't suppose it could be done on a sheet and just folded up afterwards?"
Has to be on the ground. You can do it in powder and then sweep the powder up afterwards, though. Or bury it, it being in a graveyard and all, the cat tells him.
It'll be windy, powder might blow away, the chimpanzee ponders. How about rope? We can weigh 'em down, an' reel 'em up.
Ehhhhh. Depends on the rope. Weave some of Pau's hair into the strands and sure, it'd be good, Islington says.
"Is there something you aren't telling me about this sudden fascination with ropes, Caliban?" Herbert asks, but nods. "Ropes would be convenient. Or vanishing dye, perhaps. Something that will be absorbed by morning.."
"My hair?" Pau looks indignant.
Can't be Shaft's, he's got no soul. And not enough hair. Oh, fine, my fur's probably good enough, the cat grumbles.
Eh, boss, it's like this, we're faced with supernatural boogeymonsters we dunno how to fight, we're clutching at insubstantial ideas that might work or might not, what I really want is somethin' I can beat up an' take its spare change an' go home an' the day's done, the chimpanzee laments. Besides, rope is handy in lots of ways!
"Well, I'll leave it to you and Islington to prepare the rope then," Shaft says. "And if you like, I can inscribe the Seal onto some gloves for you, so you can hit spirits."
No thanks, boss, not 'til you figure out how to not make it burn the livin' daylights outta me, the chimpanzee says wryly.