Gypsies don't always camp outside of towns. The vagabond lifestyle isn't that predictable, even though the routes have been handed down for generations. But in Sylvania, last season's roads can be the current ones overgrown memories, as towns become isolated from one another or forge new relationships with others. The road the caravan follows now is an old one which has outlived the communities that it once connected, and so the gypsies make simple night camps - a circle of wagons around a bonfire, without unpacking any more than is needed. This means the families tend to prepare their own meals instead of having a big communal supper.
Alptraum is back from his hunt, and has handed over his kill to his parents to cook. He drained it already on the way back for his own meal. As he relaxes a bit next to the Reisender wagon, a black fox in brightly colored (and often clashing) clothing pokes his scarf-wrapped head out of a nearby bush and makes 'come here' gestures to the lounging bat.
"/If this is another grand scheme, I'm going to steal 'is pants," Alptraum thinks as he lazily gets up from where he was flopped and daydreaming. Then he meanders to the bushes and looks down. "Wha? If dis is a joke, imma going to peee on dis bush," he grumbles.
"Shhh!" Hexen shushes, finger to lips. "This is important, so.. meet me on the other side of the bushes.." The fox head then vanishes back into the foliage, followed by some barely muffled noises of complain due to being poked by branches.
This makes Alptraum arch his brow a little. "Hmm, important in 'my bits got cursed', or important in 'chance for real money'?" he wonders as he heads around the foliage to meet up with his crazy friend.
Hexen is very exaggeratedly trying to be stealthy - which would work better if he were naked instead of wearing bright blue and red clothing. Once he thinks they're sufficiently far from the caravan, he whispers to Alptraum, "I talked to Yosef, the guy who is always making maps and stuff, and he told me something amazing."
"If it's a secret route to the most amazing brothel in the world, forget it. He tries dat joke on everyone," Alptraum deadpans. "If it's something else ... spill it!"
"Well.. he found out that Katka really likes wine - enough to overlook the.. ah.. flaws of those offering it," Hexen claims, and looks around before dropping his voice to an even quieter level. "He found out by accident, when he was bringing a nearly empty bottle to the cooking tent. Katka found him and convinced him to let her drink the wine! And he was rewarded by.. she let him touch her boob. Over the shirt, but still.." For fifteen-year-olds, that was tantamount to going all the way!
Alptraum blinks at this. "Did you test dis?" he asks in a sudden whisper. "And what does it take to get de shirt off...?"
"Probably a full bottle," Hexen says, then bites his lip. "I couldn't test it. My mom keeps a close eye on the bottles. But, Josef let me look at his map collection. There used to be a town near here, with a manor. Lords always have wine cellars. If we could find a vintage bottle or six, Katka would probably do a private dance for us like her mother does for rich guys!"
"A lap dance?" Alptraum presses, then licks his lips. Then he gets back to reality and says, "Yeah, dere lots of old towns. I doubt anything is valuable innem, though. People scavenge all de good stuff early on."
"What if dey were all wiped out by a plague though?" Hexen asks. "Nobody to loot stuff! And if not.. uh.. cellars could be hidden, or folks too scared to go down. Anyroad, worth a peak, innit?"
Alptraum thinks about this. He's already had to shift a bit thanks to thinking about Katka doing a private dance, in his lap. This of course then means one head has more blood than the other and influences him to say, "Eh, yah, it is. Worst case is we don find ahything. Best case is ... kitty."
Hexen pulls a folded parchment from his pocket, and says, "I knew you'd be up fer it, buddy!" He unfolds the map, and points to a line on it. "Yosef says we're camped here," he explains, before dragging his line a bit to the right, where a circle with house-shapes is drawn. "And this is.. Sac-scro-vili-stadt."
"Doesn' look too far. I guess we kin check it out quickly. Whats de worst dat kin happen?" Alptraum asks, "We get turned into drooling, toothless, monsters?"
"I bet there's nuthin living there now," Hexen says. "It's got one of dose old-timey sounding names, instead of normal ones like Scabies or Scrote or Phlegm. 'Sides, you can just fly us out o' any trouble!"
"I can't fly you very far, tho! You eat too much," Alptraum claims and pokes Hexen in the gut.
The fox 'oofs' and claims, "I burn a lot of energy is all!" But the comment about not being able to carry him far does make him concede that they should walk to the old town. "It ain't far anyway, since dis used to be the road to it," he says, but grins at Alptraum. "But you could pop up to make sure we's on the right path, right?"
"Of course. I kin go look when we get closer t' where ya think it is," Alptraum concedes, "An before it gets too much later, lets get going, eh? We don want a tired catbutt."
The town of Sacscrovilistadt was older than expected, but then the gypsy's maps went back a long way. The town wall was just an overground mound, with the only thing left of houses being their hearths and collapsed chimneys. The bones of the manor house were still mostly intact, however, including the stone walls and towers.
"Fire, ye think?" Hexen asked Alptraum as they navigated the overgrown cobbles.
"Prolly, if all dat is left are chimneys," Alptraum has to agree. He does, however, head over towards one of the sets of building remains to look for charred wood to be sure.
There's certainly some char that's still visible through the overgrowth. In a few years, even that will probably be buried by the relentless foliage.
"Yah, fire," Alptraum pronounces as he wipes his hands off on his worn pants. "But dis place is old. Like before time old. We best be careful, day building might fall down," he adds as he gestures towards what remains of the manorhouse.
At least there isn't a cemetery to deal with, although it does look like the manor also had a chapel at some point. The roof is completely gone, along with the wooden interior floors, leaving a lot of debris on the ground floor. But it's possible that anything underground would have survived the fire.
Alptraum steps carefully, ears flicked forward as he listens for the sounds of the place, including anything that sounds in danger of imminent collapse! "C'mon, just be slow and quiet so I kin hear what de building is doing," he tells Hexen.
There's a lot of moaning as the wind passes through the gaps in the stonework. And also.. a chirp. Specifically an Eeee sonar chirp, but Alptraum can't tell what direction it came from. There are still plenty of shadowy places in the remains of the towers where someone could be perched.
Alptraum stops. "We are not alone 'ere, I hear Eeee sounding," he whispers to Hexen. Then Alptraum, well, chirps back.
There's movement in one of the shadowed towers, and a figure drops down to the ground. It keeps its wings wrapped around itself like a cloak, however, the wrists rising up to just below the eyes. "Who dares to intrude upon my lair!" the figure demands in a very obviously deepened and scratchy voice.
"Really?" Alptraum asks, one white eyebrow raised. "Dis ain't much of a lair, I'm afraid. It be pretty badly burnt. I be Alptraum and dis assault on the sense of color is Hexan, me friend."
In a quick flurry of flapping, the figure is right in front of the pair of gypsies, and once more wing-wrapped. Up close, the strange Eeee is shorter than either of the boys. "Who are you?" it croaks. It has brown fur and eyes, which it keeps squinted for some reason while raising one eyebrow.
"Oh, wait.. I mean, vait, you already said.." the figure then notes, without the funny voice. It sounds young and possibly female (it can be hard to tell with Eeee).
"As I just said, I be Alptraum, dis be Hexen. We're explorin'. Looking fer old wine, specifically," Alptraum says and shrugs. "Who are you?"
The figure switches which eyebrow is arched, and claims, "I am the.. ze.. dread wampire.. Countess Princess Varraneechee!"
Alptraum reaches out and pokes Varraneechee. "I no feeling much dread, ere. How 'about you, Hexen?" he remarks, then laughs.
The fox elbows Alptraum, and hisses, "She's a girl, ask her about wine."
Varraneechee steps back from the poke, and warns, "Show respect, or I vill call down the horrible demons that razed this town down upon you!"
"Riiight. Vell Princess, all we looking for is a few bottles of wine," Alptraum says and smiles fangily. "Kin we look for some?"
"If you give me tribute, I will show you to the SECRET wine cellar," Varraneechee claims, and switches which eyebrow is raised again.
"What ... sort of tribute," Alptraum inquires and counters that brow arch with one of his own.
"Your shirt, to start," the Countess Princess demands of Alptraum. "Maybe your friend's pants too, if the shirt isn't long enough."
Alptraum blinks at this. He then shrugs and takes off his shirt and dangles it from one of his claws. "Gonna take off yours too?" he asks with a grin
The girls right wing drops just enough that she can get her arm out. The bare shoulder suggests that taking her shirt off isn't an option, because she doesn't have one. She reaches out for the dangled garment.
"Whoa, I think she's naked," Hexen blurts out.
"Whoah! You're kinna hot," Alptraum admits as he hands over the shirt ... though he's a bit slow about it! "Are ya sure you don wanna just ... stay like dat?"
"Don't peek or I'll call down the curse o' the Bloodfurs on you!" the girl claims, turning to put her back to the boys as she tries to figure out how the shirt goes over her wings. She's got slight hips, so is probably close to their age. Alptraum's shirt isn't quite long enough to provide complete coverage though, no matter how hard she tugs down on it.
Alptraum actually does step forward and help her get the shirt around her wings, even of she complains. "Too late, I peeked," he laughs, then tickles one of her ears and steps back. There he, well, admires her butt...
"It's not long enough," the girl complains. "I need some pants too."
"You can have my headband," Hexen offers, but winks at Alptraum.
"Give me your pants," the girl insists. "You don't need them!" she adds, using her wings as a skirt before turning around and pointing at Hexen.
Alptraum grins at Hexen. "Hand over de pants," he tells him grinning all the while. "You're part rhian, what do you have to be embarrassed of?
"But then she'd see my shorts," Hexen claims, waving his hands. "And we won't get to see nothing but her butt!"
"You were looking at my BUTT?!" the girl squeaks.
"Yah? It's a nice butt!" Alptraum claims, then tries to playfully swat it, and deliberately misses. "Hand over de pants, foxy."
"But.. but.." Hexen stutters, then points a finger at the girl and says, "I want them back when we leave. And Traum's shirt too! And you gotta make a show of it!"
Alptraum covers his eyes and tries to not laugh. "Smooth," he thinks.
Varraneechee rolls her eyes and says, "Sure, fine! You'll be dreaming of me for the rest o' yer lives though! You been warned! No other woman will ever compare!"
"You can chase her down if she tries to fly off, right?" Hexen then asks Alptraum while untying his rope-belt. His pants look like a lady's bloomers anyway (since they probably started out as such originally).
Alptraum thinks, 'Of that scrawny butt?" "Why are ya out here and naked?" he asks the obvious.
"Because I'm a Countess Princess Vampire of course," the girl claims. "I can turn into mist and shadow and .. stuff. But my clothes can't. Some things just need nakedness." She gives Alptraum a look as if daring him to contradict her.
"I'm a vampire and I can't do that," Alptraum points out and waves his right hand a bit.
Hexen finally holds out his bright blue pants. His undershorts may or may not have seen better days, as they seem to be made entirely of patches and holes. "Hey, yeah.. where'd you come from? Nobody around here but us and we're just passin' through!"
After snatching the pants (and making sure her wings are covering her behind when she turns to put them on) Varraneechee says, "You don't look like a vampire."
"Come closer and I'll show ya," Alptraum teases and flashes fangs.
The girl flashes her own fangs right back! They aren't as big, but at least she isn't trying to hide her face anymore. She also scratches at her thighs. "These pants are itchy," she complains.
"He doesn' bathe," Alptraum points out and thumbs towards Hexen.
"Sooner we get de wine, sooner you can give them back to me," Hexen points out, as if he deliberately planned ahead to make his pants uncomfortable.
"Fine, fine, vine, vine," Varraneechee says mockingly, and points to the base of one of the towers. "Valk dis vay!" she says, trying her vampire voice as she marches towards it.
"I don't haf to valk dat vay, my pants don' itch," Alptraum quips as he follows the girl.
Hexen barks a laugh at that, and thoughtfully takes the rear, since nobody would want to be behind him given the state of her underpants. There's a bit of climbing over and around debris before they get to the spot where the Countess Princess Vampire stops, and points down. "You just gotta move this just outta the way," she informs them.
Alptraum looks down to see just what she is pointing at.
There's a little bit of unburned wood visible between fallen stone bricks. Probably ironwood for a trap door.
"Better knock on it," Hexen suggests, knowing that Alptraum could hear if there's open space beneath it or if it's just a regular door lying on the ground.
Alptraum sighs and starts moving debris. "Ya gotta help too, Mr. Bloomers," Alptraum tells Hexen as he cears enough so that he can knock. "An ya never answered why ya here," he says to Varraneechee, "Where ya family?"
"I don't have a family, and this is my lair," the girl insists, not trying to help move things. At least Hexen isn't complaining about the work - which he normally does nonstop. The promise of a kitty-lap-dance has overcome his normal allergy to work it seems.
"Where are you from?" the girl shoots back. "Nobody lives around here anymore."
"Traveling caravan of gypsies," Alptraum answers. "We be passin' through. Iffin ya gots no-one, why not join us? Kin always use another Eeee."
"Gypsies?" the girl asks, going wide-eyed. "Is dat why your clothes is so shiny?"
"Ouch!" Hexen yelps and then dances around on one foot while holding the other that he just dropped a stone onto.
"It ain't just sweat, sunshine," Alptraum says with a grin. He tries to rap on part of what is now exposed below to see if he can hear anything.
There's definitely a hollow sound, and one just jagged enough to indicate stairs.
"Stairs below, stop hoppin and help move stuff!" Alptraum tells the now-injured Hexen.
Hexen eventually gets back to moving things a bit more carefully, and even tries to sniff at the door when its clear enough to open. "I smell.. uh.." he starts to say, but Varraneechee finishes for him, saying, "awful!" She then busts a gut laughing for a minute.
Alptraum playfully swats Varraneechee with a wing. "Ey, ya didn't answer me offer to join us," he points out to try and distract her from further bad jokes. He then clears a bit more ... then tries to open the door.
The door is not even to open, and it takes both Alptraum and Hexen pulling on the ring to budge it. It doesn't swing free on the hinges at all, and has to be pulled and pushed for every inch. "O
"Oh, I'm a Countess Princess," Varraneechee claims. "I don't think I'd fit in with gypsies. But.. how many of you are there, and where are you going?"
"Jus' three Eeee, myself included, and maybe a dozen others? No dat many," Alptraum grunts as he continues to tug and strain on that ring. "And ya fit in as good as any of us. We all weird."
"What makes you weird?" the girl asks. By then the door is standing straight up, so the stairs are visible. It isn't likely that the door will be closing on its own either.
Alptraum pushes the door a bit more so that if it fell, it would fall open, not closed. "Wha makes us normal?" he counters the girl. "Come wit' us and judge fer yerself."
The girl actually heads down first, only pausing at the first turn to call back, "Does Hexen need light to see?"
"Yes," the fox says sarcastically.
"'e trips even wit' a light!" Alptraum laughs, "But yah, it might help." Down he goes too.
Varraneechee grunts as she tries to wrest a torch from its sconce on the wall, falling backwards against Alptraum when it finally comes free.
Alptraum catches her!" "Well, hello," he whispers sultry in her ear, "Come 'ere often?" Then he does something he thinks is suave; he licks that ear.
The girl gives out an alarmed squeak, either at being caught or at the lick! "I haven't been down here in a hundred y-years," she claims. "Can you light the torch?"
"Yah yah, vampire princess," Alptraum grunts and lets her go, then takes the torch. He peers at it for a moment, then nods, "I think so." So, he squats down and feels around for some stone fragments to use for spark-making. Then it's the tried and true stone striking to try and generate enough spark to light the torch! Failing that, he'll use the flint kit he carries for emergencies. Wants to use things on hand first since supplies are scarce, after all.
It takes a bit of time (and one slightly singed finger) but he gets the torch going without having to resort to his kit. The oil it was once soaked in is more like tar now, it it lights up. "Ah, thanks Traum!" Hexen says, hurrying down the stairs, and only nearly tripping and sending them all down once.
"If you get us killed I never forgive you!" Alptraum barks at Hexen after nearly sending them down the stairs. "Be careful, sheesh."
"Don' bite me head off," Hexen says, and takes the torch as they make their way down the stairs, which go down more then one floor before reaching a long hall.
"I never do dat, you like it too much!" Alptraum quips.
"Only if Katka be the one nibbling," Hexen notes. "This the wine cellar?"
"This is just the dungeon," Varraneechee claims, and skips down the hall, pointing out the cells. "You kin still de bones of the folks that got stuck here while the town was razed!"
"So, 'ow old are ya?" Alptraum asks Varraneechee as he follows. He does take a chance to peer into the cells they pass, too.
There are, indeed, skeletons of people chained to the walls. "I dunno, old enough," Varraneechee claims, despite looking around fifteen or sixteen. "How old are you?"
Hexen rattles the bars of one of the cells. "What a way t' go, eh?" he comments.
"Fifteen, I t'ink," Alptraum claims.
"Oooo, yer nearly ripe," Varraneechee claims, turning to grin at Alptraum while she skips backwards. "Torture chamber's up next, wanna see it?"
"Waddaya mean, ripe?" Alptraum has to ask, brow arching a bit. As for the torture chamber he says, "Sure!" Kids and torture chambers...
In reply to the question, Varraneechee says, "Ripe, as in your fruits." She brings her hands together and makes a little finger-wiggling 'feeling things up' gesture with them. Then she darts to the side, vanishing into a room.
"Dat girl is weird," Alptraum mutters as he heads into the side room at a leisurely pace. "Stay alert, eh?" he whispers to Hexen, "Somet'ing weird about dis."
"I like her," Hexen says. "She's startin' to grow on me. Plus, we get to see her naked later! Even if she is an Eeee, there gotta be something there right?"
There are some loud noises from the room the girl vanished into, as if things just got spilled off of a table.
"Ya seen me naked, so imagine me, just wit' t'ings turned inside out down below," Alptraum jokes to Hexan.
"Ewww, don't be ruining things already," Hexen says, then yelps at the noises.
Alptraum pats Hexen on the back, then goes into the room to see what the other Eeee broke!
The likely source of the noise is a pile of bones on the floor that are still settling. No doubt pushed off of the restraint table that Varraneechee is lying on, her hands wrists and ankles next to the still-closed wooden cuffs. "Save me from being tortured an' such, brave gypsie princes!" she gasps out cartoonishly.
Alptraum oooohs! He slinks over to the table and then runs a claw up along her belly! "I kin t'ink of ways t' torture you!" he says in fits and giggles!
"Oh no, I've gotten the other kind of gypsies!" Varraneechee squeals and squirms about as if she really were locked down. Hexen makes it worse by tickling her feet.
Alptraum giggles ... as he continues to claw-tickle her! Then he deftly slips up and tries to actually get her hands into the cuffs!
The cuffs are still locked from their previous occupant, but the girl's hands do fit through still - they just aren't likely to hold her by themselves. She's also laughing and squirming from the tickling still. Neither of them have ever been able to get away with tickling a girl - at least not since they were old enough for there to be a noticeable difference between boys and girls.
Alptraum continues! And then even sneaks in licks on each of her ears! Still, this just seems off somehow. Why is she here? What does she really want? "We should find de wine soon," he reminds HExen.
"Wine?" Hexen asks, apparently forgetting why they came here in the first place in the face of a girl willing to be playful with them! "Oh.. uh.. right!" he says. "Hey.. you licked her!"
Alptraum tries to look innocent! "I did?" he says, "Impossible! I am pure of heart!"
"Den why you want a Katka lap-dance?" Hexen asks, and grins. "I kin have yours then, right? After she all naked?" The fox's teasing is spoiled a bit by the strain being put on his underpants after only tickling Varraneechee for a minute. He tries to hide this by moving the torch further back.
"Not too pure hearted, are you?" the girl asks Alptraum, sitting up and turning to be nearly nose-to-nose with him.
Alptraum grins fangily ... then does something daring! He kisses Varraneechee, on the lips, even!
The girl blinks in surprise, but doesn't smack him! "So, who dis Katka girl, hmmm?" she asks after the kiss breaks off. "And what's a lap-dance?"
"That's.. more than licking!" Hexen accuses.
"Oh, a khatta dancer back in me tribe. 'bout my age and really hot," Alptraum explains and shrugs a little. "She be a dancer, an a lap dance is, well, where she dances all sexily while sittin' in yer lap!"
"You can dance while sitting down?" the girl asks, giving Alptraum a skeptical look. "How is that not.. you know.. naughty-business?"
"Well ... it can get naughty, iffin the guy takes off 'is pants and such," Alptraum admits and rubs his neck. "So, uh, this wine. You show us, right?"
"Hmmmm," the girl considers, but lets Alptraum off without further questioning, and gives Hexen a surprised kiss - on the cheek - as she slides off the table. "Just a few more cellars," she says on her way out of the room.
"Ey, feel like she's delaying us?" Alptruam whispers to Hexen once Varraneechee gets a bit ahead of them.
"She was stretched out on the table and let us touch her," Hexen points out. "I can live with that sort o' delay! Maybe we can get lap dances from her too before we head back? Did you invite her back with us because you fancy her?"
"I feel bad she alone 'ere," Alptraum admits and shrugs, he then hurries to catch back up with the other Eeee.
"I bet she running away," Hexen whispers. "No girl fly 'round naked. I'd have heard!"
Alptraum snickers at that. "So, where ya from originally?" Alptraum asks of the Eeee once he catches up.
The end of the hall reveals another set of stairs going down and doubling back. Varraneechee pauses there and turns to face the boys. "What makes you think I'm not from right here?" she asks. "I knew where the door was, and the torture room, and what happened to this town after all."
"Cuz dis town has been dead for a very long time?" Alptraum points out, "An you are not dat old."
"Maybe I'm just short," the girl counters, and starts down the stairs. "The beer cellar is next," she says.
Alptraum gives Hexen a glance. "I don' like dis. somethin is up," he whispers. Still he follows the girl.
"Think she's tellin' the truth?" Hexen whispers back. The next cellar is probably as big as the one above, but instead of a hall and cells it's a single large chamber with really big wooden casks along the walls, and a distinct lack of skeletons. "Welcome to the beer cellar!" Varraneechee says, spreading her arms wide.
Alptraum shakes his head to Hexen. "She doesn't seem dangerous, tho, maybe jus' lonely." The casks also make him go 'huh'. He heads over to one and knocks on it curiously.
There's a very hollow sound that echoes through the cellar, and some of the wood actually cracks under the knocking.
"Don't let out the spirits," Varraneechee warns with a straight face.
"Dey sound empty, and de wood is rotted," Alptraum points out and ignores the bad joke.
"Must be the.. yeeeast?" Hexen suggests. "They use it to make beer. Like.. mold. It prolly eats the wood 'ventually."
"It's the beer spirits scratching on the inside, tryin' to get out that rots the wood," Varraneechee claims, crossing her arms and nodding.
Alptraum grins at Varraneechee. I coul' eat you," he says and waggles his brow.
"I eat you right back!" the girl claims. "But I eat your friend first. Never seen one like 'im before. Prolly tastes interesting."
"I taste all manly and.. spicy," Hexen claims.
"Bah, he boring. Don listen to his boasts!" Alptraum claims and crosses his arms.
"You jes say that because you want me all to yourself, admit it!" the girl teases Alptraum.
"Of course," Alptraum declares. Maybe sucking up to her will get her to say what is really going on.
"Ooooo, maybe I can have you compete then!" Varraneechee claims, and walks further along the cellar, wiggling her butt this time. "Yes, compete for a Countess Princess lap-dance!"
Alptraum rolls his eyes. Still, he follows Varraneechee and watches her butt. Stupid hormones. "Come along, pickle boy," he tells Hexen.
"Pickle?" Hexen asks. "Kyootcumber, at least," he claims, hurrying to catch up and watch the butt wiggle as well. There isn't any furniture here that the girl can tease them with though, so it's rather dull until the get to the next stairs going down. "Now we get to the wine cellar," Varraneechee promises before heading down.
"I hope so!" Alptraum whines, while grinning fangily.
The stairs go down quite a bit deeper than the others did, and it is getting cold, counter to common sense.
"Told ya, something funny is goin' on," Alptraum whispers to Hexen. "Doncha feel dat?"
"Feel some shrinkage," Hexen admits, his breath becoming visible in the torchlight. He even holds the flame closer for warmth. "Mebbe there's a river or something down here?"
"Eh, don' think so. Somethin' wrong 'ere," Alptraum says quietly, "Stay alert."
The stairs stop not at a hall, but at a heavy looking door. Varraneechee does something that's hidden by her wings, but it sounds like thinks are being turned or slid.
Alptraum's eyes narrow. He rests his hand on the battered hilt of his old dagger, just in case.
There's a loud click, and Varraneechee stands aside. "There, I've unlocked it. You guys can push it open, right? Big strong fellas that ya are!"
"Why can't you push it open?" Alptraum inquires, brow arches a bit.
"B'cause it's heavy," the girl claims.
Alptraum looks suspicious, then gestures for Hexen to join him. "Alrigh' we try," he agrees, putting his shoulder against the door and then pushes.
The door is cold! But it isn't quite as sticky as the door down into the cellars was. After it gets started, it keeps swinging on its own. There's a lot of cool mist that billows out from beyond it and chills their feet.
"I t'ink dis was a bad idea," Alptraum whispers to Hexen. "Mebbe we should sneak out."
"She behind us now though," Hexen notes. And Varraneechee is behind them, trying to look around them into the room beyond. "Don't you want the wine?" she asks.
"Wha' going on 'ere?" Alptraum finally asks Varraneechee. "Dis isn' natural. It shouldn' be dis cold down 'ere."
"Magic," Varraneechee claims. "Magic wine."
Alptraum pokes Varraneechee again. "Y'telling us everything?" he asks.
"I dunno, how much do you need to know?" the girl asks. "Didn't you just want some wine?"
"Yeah, but we been aroun' and dealt wit' some bad stuff," Alptraum notes. "Y' don't t'ink dat a naked Eee living alone in a ruins isn't suspicious at all? Who's t' say ya no lock dat door behind us if we go in dere?"
"Oh.. want me to go in first then?" the girl offers.
"I feel better about dis if you did," Alptraum admits.
Varraneechee squeezes between Alptraum and Hexen to saunter into the misty room beyond the door, and quickly vanishes into the fog. "Are you coming?" she calls back.
Alptraum looks at Hexen. "Jus be ready t' run, 'kay?" he tells the fox, then heads into the room and the mists too.
The mists clear once Hexen enters with the torch. There are racks of wine bottles, laid out like a library. The mist pours down from the bottles themselves. "There you are," Varraneechee says. "The fog messes up sonar a bit, so stick close to the torch. What sort o' wine are you looking for?"
"Dagh, that's a lot of wine," Alptraum admits, jaw agape. "I ... er, I don' know much about wine. It was to be a surprise fer Katka."
"So.. which is the bestest wine?" Hexen asks. "For getting girls to strip? That's what it's for, right?"
Alptraum rolls his eyes. "No, it no fer dat. It's fer drinkin' to feel good and to compliment food. Not dat I woul' know much about different food tastes," he says.
"Well, there's dark, and light, and red, and white," Verraneechee alliterates, and does a little spin. "Wine for wooing, wine for sleeping, wine for letting go and wine for keeping."
"Well, for Katka, wooing or letting go, I t'ink," Alptraum admits.
"Hmmm, wooing.. wooing.." Varraneechee ponders, and skips further down into the vault. "Don't fall behind!" she calls.
Alptraum looks at Hexen, then follows Varraneechee.
"Woo.. woo.. woo," the self-proclaimed Countess Princess Vampire mutters as they head to the far end of the vault. "Ahh, this should be the wooing wine section! See?" She points to some rather feminine-shaped bottles. "Now, what are this Katka's tastes?"
"She's a sultry belly dancer. So, slinky," Alptraum says as he rubs his chin a bit. "Though I don't t'ink she too picky about wine." He goes to get a better look at one of the bottles.
The mist obscures some things, but up close, with Hexen's torch behind him.. Alptraum can see the liquid in one of the bottles sort of swirling back and forth like it was dancing.
"Well, how often does she get drunk?" Varraneechee asks.
"Uh.. I don't know, I just found out she likes wine," Hexen admits. "You ever seen her in her cups, Traum?"
Alptraum picks that bottle up and tries to read any label, if it has a label. "Eh, couple times a month mebbe? We don' get much booze unless we near a town. Only seen 'er tipsy after a show," he admits. "We can make booze, but it also tends t' strip paint."
The label is faded to illegibility, but the bottle doesn't feel cold to the touch. Once removed from the rack it even stops misting. "That's.. uh.. that's the one that is.. dance related, I think," Varraneechee says, looking around Hexen's shoulder at the selected bottle. "Probably a red."
Alptraum hands it to Hexen. "Waddaya t'ink?" he asks the fox.
"The cork has a little heart on the wax seal," Hexen notes, while rubbing the bottle as if he were feeling it up.
"If you're expecting to get djinn from that, you're looking for the wrong sort of drink," Varraneechee claims.
"Well, er, can we have it?" Alptraum asks Varraneechee. "IF you all dat is left 'ere, I guess dis all belongs t' you?"
"I just like the shape of the bottle," Hexen grumbles.
"Oh, I don't drink.. vine.." Varraneechee claims and winks at Alptraum. "There's lots of this stuff down here, so go ahead and take that bottle if you want."
"Righty, t'anks," Alptraum decides, then goes to Varraneechee. He peers down at her, then cups her chin and nudges a lip up so he can get a better look at her teeth!
"Mmmf?" the girl squeaks as her lip is nudged. The exposed fang isn't quite as big as one of Alptraum's, but.. well, he hasn't really looked at a lot of Eeee teeth before.
"I don' t'ink yer a vampire," Alptraum admits and lets her chin go. "Small fangs, and yer eyes don' glow."
"Your eyes don't glow either," Varraneechee points out. "Now.. done rummaging 'round in my lower chamber?"
"No, dey don't, but my fangs are bigger," Alptraum says, then shows off his fangs. "An we need two more bottles before we go..."
"More? Well.. you're pushing my generosity a bit," the girl says. "What sort of wine do those need to be?"
Alptraum hmms. "Okay, mebbe jus' one more. Something fer wooing, mebbe a white?" he asks.
"What sort of wooing?" Varra asks, moving down the aisle to the whites.
"Seduction?" Alptraum suggests. "Fun for a night...?"
"You know, gettin' people in the right mood to, well, do t'ings," Alptraum whispers to Hexen, then leans over to get a better look at the other Eee's butt.
"Here, this might do, it's really strong," Varra claims, standing back up and holding out a regular-shaped bottle. "There might be a worm in it too.. don't swallow that. But.. uh.. well, just use glasses."
Alptraum accepts that one. "Worm? Makes me t'ink of de paint stripper," he admits. "I guess dat be it. T'anks fer helpin' us. Y'sure ya don wanna join our troupe?"
"I dunno, are you two typical of it?" the girl asks, and starts heading back towards the door to the vault.
Alptraum looks at Hexen. "Yeah, kinda," he admits as he follows the girl towards the entrance.
"So, everyone is frustrated and chaste?" Varra asks as she waits for the boys to pass her so she can close the door.
"Wha? No, not at all," Alptraum says as he passes Varraneechee.
Through the beer cellar, she asks more about day-to-day life with the gypsies. "So, do you dance and sing and party every night?"
"Hah, more like we survive. Dance and such is only when near towns an we trying t' make some money. Most of the days are spent travellin', hunting, and makin' due wit what we kin find," Alptraum explains and shrugs.
"Well.. that doesn't sound very enticing," Varraneechee claims, leading the way up to the dungeon level. "If you aren't partying, what's the point?"
"Company. We don' haf ta be alone all de time. We have friends," Alptraum explains. "We haf others who look out fer us."
"Why, I look out for Alptraum all the time," Hexen claims, and thumps his chest with the wine bottle. "I can't count the times I've pulled his butt out of the fire..."
"Ya got that backwards dere, bud," Alptraum remarks dryly. "Still got dat scar on de back of yer head from the graveyard...?"
"Well, it's not a lie," Hexen claims. "You can't count to zero."
"You two are like brothers, aren't you?" Varraneechee asks as they climb back up into the night and the ruined manor.
"Yeah, kinda," Alptraum admits. "I be an orphan and de only one sad enough t' hang wit dis loser!"
"Hey! I'm the one that suggested this little treasure hunt you know," Hexen claims. "And now we get to see Varraneechee strip for us!"
"Oh, you remembered that?" the girl asks.
"Yeah, 'course we did, but ... ya don hafta," Alptraum admits.
"Well, a promise is a promise, and I gotta give you yer clothes back anyway," Varraneechee says, and gestures for the boys to sit on one of the big bits of fallen masonry.
Alptraum sits, looking worried. He's had a bad feeling about this place since they got here, and suspects he's about to find out why. "Y'kin keep my shirt if you want," Alptraum offers.
The girl turns around and wiggles a bit as she pulls off the shirt. "Well, I'm no wiggle-dancer, but you guys have been fun," Varra says, and drops the shirt off to her left while looking over her shoulder and winking. Then it's more wiggling as she gets out of Hexen's pants.
"I really need those back now too," Hexen whispers to Alptraum.
Alptraum watches, and does enjoy it. He doesn't know many other Eeee, and she's honestly been a lot of fun. Wishes she'd join them, but his gut is telling him she isn't real. She can't be. "Oh go in the bushes and 'deal with it'?" he suggests to the fox. "I'm not gonna help with it..."
"An miss the show?" Hexen gasps, holding the wine bottle strategically in his lap.
Varra turns around, making a 'ta-da' sort of gesture with her arms. She's got.. quite a bit actually, for an Eeee. The sight makes Hexen choke, and the girl actually approaches them.
Alptraum blinks. "Wow," he actually says, wide-eyed. He keeps trying to think of more to say and just ... fails. So, he sits there, looking dumb.
The beautiful Eeee girl sits right down in Alptraum's lap, and leans in to whisper into his ear, "You're right, I'm not a vampire." She then licks it, and whispers, "I'm a goddess. I just wanted to get a look at you is all." When she leans back, she puts a finger to her lips in a 'shush' gesture and winks.. before dissolving into mist and shadow.
"W-where'd she go?" Hexen asks once he starts breathing again.
"I ... er ... I thought she was a ghost," Alptraum admits. "No one could be still livin' 'ere, Hex. Surely you figgered dat out? She ... said she was a Goddess an jus' wanted to look at me. Dat is .... why? I a nothing, a throw off. Trash someone didn' want and dumped."
"Maybe she was a vampire after all, and.. just one that feeds on being tickled?" Hexen says, and sniffs his pants carefully before putting them back on. "But she sure was hot! I gotta pray more. But.. we got wine! We can woo Katka now!"
Alptraum rubs his forehead. "Yeah, mebbe. Dat one doesn't even know I exist," he grumbles and gets up. "But you kin try."
"Dis is vinegar! Not even good fer cooking!" Katka yowls after taking a sip of the magic wine. "I like the bottle though, so I won't scratch you up for this," she adds, tucking the bottle under her arm and sashaying back to her tent.
"Wha.. we should have tried it first," Hexen wails. "Then she couldn't have made that up just to get a bottle of wine, I bet!"
"Dat bump on yer head back when never did heal right, did it?" Alptraum asks his somewhat-idiot friend. "Still, was kinnda fun, iffin a bit weird. Disappointing, too. I kinda hoped Varra woulda joined us. It be weird, but she kinna felt like family somehow. But, bah, prolly any Eeee would feel like dat to me."