From the Gypsy camp it's a straight walk up Milk Run Road to get to the castle. For most of the journey, there are fields to either side: the Rootrunner farmlands to the east and the Chalk pastures just over the river to the west. As they reach the intersection where Manor Road joins from the east, the nature of the landscape begins to change.

While the Chalk pastures continue on, the forest has reclaimed the ruins of the old Manor, mostly hiding it from view. The woods get denser as they go north, and can be seen encroaching on the pastures from the west. A roadsign has been put up, really just a post with labeled planks pointing the way. 'Stonebarrow Village' points back the way they've come, 'Mint Dam' points to the east, and 'Silverheath 1 league' points north. Also pointing north is a larger plank reading, 'WARNING! Dontgointhe Castle 1000 yards.'

Parsley has been relatively quiet for most of the walk, apparently enjoying the spring air and even swinging her basket now and then. When they get to the sign, she points out, "The hot springs are at Mint Dam, if you didn't know. I'm not sure if you'd ever been out to the dam."

Aviri looks to the east in the direction indicated by the sign. "Hhot springs," he says, managing to turn a stutter into merely an extended 'h'. "Odd flora not common to other areas common there. Bitter, though." He makes a face as if remembering the metallic taste. "Not been to damn itself, though."

"Lots of mint grows there," Parsley says, and starts moving again. "Onward to the castle!" she commands.

Aviri follows. "Mint grows by Mint Dam? Always thought 'Mint' was a person." He catches up to Parsley, eyes more wary of the open fields beyond the river than of the forest.

After more minutes of walking, they pass another sign. "TURN BACK NOW!" it declares. "Dontgointhe Castle 500 yards."

The buck pauses briefly at the sign. "Is castle named 'Dontgointhe'," he says, "or was warning so hastily written writer have no time for word-separation?"

"It's always been called that," Parsley notes, skipping along. The next sign they come across reads: "ABANDON ALL HOPE! Dontgointhe Castle, 300 feet." Tacked to the bottom of the sign is a smaller plank, inviting visitors to 'Visit our Gift Shoppe' as well.

Parsley's companion hesitates, eyes flickering across the words before catching up to her. "Gift shop?" he asks absently.

"What?" the doe asks, and looks at the sign. "Must be a joke! I'm pretty sure there isn't a gift shop."

"At least the sign-writer has a sense of humor," Aviri notes. "You said you know this person, right?"

Up ahead, the lone remaining tower of the castle rises above the trees. The curtain wall is collapsed in several places, making the castle less than ideally defensible, but Parsley bypasses those openings to enter through the gate. The castle is not very attractive, with one tower missing and lots of masonry lying around in an overgrown yard. "Yes, I know Igor very well," Parsley notes, eyeing the garden warily. There are several greenhouses set up, all of them barred and reinforced with DANGER! and WARNING! and ANGRY VEGETABLES! signs liberally spread across them.

Aviri walks very cautionsly through the gate, his form once again collapsed into itself. "I ge-et the feeling visitors arre rare," he says.

"Well, that's because Dr. Pike is crazy," Parsley points out. "Harmless though, really!" The door knocker is a cartoony looking bat with big eyes, hanging upside down. "Do you want to knock?"

Aviri peers at the door and knocker a short while. His hands being occupied holding each-other, he says, "You can do it."

"You really need to learn how to knock on a door sometime," Parsley points out, then reaches over and lifts the heavy knocker, banging it down three times. A few moments later, the big doors open a crack. "Hello Parthley," a rather wet-sounding voice says from within, before the door creaks open further. It's quite loud.

"Hello, Igor!" the doe says, sounding bubbly. "Oh my, you've been working on the door haven't you? It's much creakier now. Doesn't it bother Dr. Pike though?"

"It botherth her immenthely," the hooded and hunched over figure replies as it stands aside. "Welcome to Dontgointhe Cathtle, young marthter Aviri Chalk."

"Th-ank you, ssir," Aviri says, obviously struggling to make fluid, solid syllables. He makes a little bobbing motion with his head that might be taken for a bow of thanks.

"Hmm, nervouth, or ith that a mild thpeach impediment?" Igor asks, stepping closer to Aviri. The Lapi can see under the hood now.. and the view isn't pretty. Igor has two heads! Well, just one really, but it likes it was made from two different ones. Nothing quite matches up from side to side, including the color of his eyes and fur.

"Can you watch him for me while I go see Clover?" Parsley asks Igor, in her I'm-way-too-cute-to-be-turned-down tone.

"Nne .. wa," Aviri starts to say to first Igor then Parsley, but the words fail to evolve further. He turns to Igor, realizing that it is this odd creature he'll have to be dealing with and without the help of Parsley. "Just nnot a ... ffond much of people," he manages to say.

"Follow me, young marthter," Igor says, as Parsley disappears into the castle. "There are not many people here.." he promises.

The male lapine shakes his head in a quick motion, almost shivering. "No," he agrees, "Not mmany." He is about to say something else but stops hismelf and resigns himself to following this odd fel;pw/

Main Hall
The main hall of the castle was kept warm and dry by a fire blazing away in the huge hearth at the far end. While moderately sized, as far as castle halls go, it still seemed a bit crowded. Racks and shelves covered the walls, stacked full of books and bottles filled with strange floating things. Stuffed animals (and not a few monsters) stood, crouched, and hung mid-pounce in various areas, apparently placed at random, while live animals chittered, squealed and hissed in stacks of sturdy cages. What furniture there was was mismatched, overstuffed, and draped in acres of pink taffeta.

"Have a theat," Igor says. "Jutht puth off any junk that might be on it. Do you drink tea?"

Aviri remains standing by a chair, his quick eyes darting over the room as if to take it all in instantly only to go back over it to pick up details missed in the previous attempt, thus creating a seemingly endless loop of jittery motion. "Nnot thirsty," he replies, adding "Thanks, though" as an afterthought.

A mouse (an actual mouse, not a Skeek) watches Aviri from one of the cages. It's wearing a tiny vest. "Nothing to drink? How about cookieth?" Igor prompts. "There mutht be thomething that maketh you feel comfortable."

The lapine catches the eyes of the mouse and arrests his own motion for a time. "Being outside," Aviri says as if to the little critter in the cage, but he quickly looks up to the hunchback. "Shou ... -you- shouldnn't worry about mme. I not ... I -prroblably will- not feel comfortable here." He makes heroic efforts to not truncate his sentences.

"How unuthual," Igor comments, looking at Aviri. "Motht Lapi prefer to be indoorth, or better yet underground. Ith there a reathon you don't like being inthide?"

Aviri is silent a while, his eyes tearing from the mouse and continuing their tour of the room, albeit more slowly. "P ... There arre people inside," he says finally.

"There are people outthide ath well," Igor points out. "What ith it about people that maketh you uncomfortable?"

"Eas ... -They are- easy to avoid out side," Aviri says. "People are ... odd. Can't predict. Variable. Not like plants, not li ..." He stops, takes a deep breath (expertly hiding the effect of the smell of the room) and says, "They are not like nature."

"You believe plants and nature are predictable?" Igor asks, sounding amused. "Would you like a tomato?"

The Lapi looks to Igor again. "Yes. Fungi grown where rich in food. Not grow in desert. Grow better where more water. Know what to expect, where to expect. Rooted in place and depandable. Tree always there until fall down or burn. Not hungry, either. Thanks though."

"Oh, it'th not for eating," Igor claims. "It'th jutht thomething you probably haven't theen before."

Aviri looks dubious, a single ear twitching slightly against his back. "Not from forest, but garden?" he asks. "Expirament with minerals produce odd fruit?"

"'Natural' broad definition. Bright water from sulfur-spring to garden 'natural'," Aviri says, the hot-springs obviously still in his mind from the walk. "You have tomato here?" He steps away from cluttered chair and slightly toward Igor, obviously curious.

The omni-Skreek leads Aviri over to a cabinet, which he unlocks with a key (he has a LOT of them on his keychain). Opening it up reveals.. cages. With vegetables and fruits in them. Potatoes, eggplant, tomatoes.. just sitting in their own individual cages. He pulls a small wooden cage containing a single tomato.

Aviri regards the caged tomato with confused interest, trying to work out why a tomato would be in a cage.

It looks like a large, ripe tomato, despite being locked up in a cabinet with other vegetables. Like them, it looks fresh. But.. maybe a little malevolent, somehow. It's slowly making the fur on the back of Aviri's neck rise.

Aviri retreats from the cabinet a bit. "What you do to them?" He asks, with only a -hint- of remorse for the plants imprisoned.

"Dr. Pike wanth to turn vampireth into vegetarianth," Igor explains, and reaches a finger into the cage. The tomato bites it. Somehow.

Aviri tilts his head from this safe distance. "Would need plants grow blood? Or try turn plants -into- vampires?" His ears, both of them, flick against his back. "This why people strange. Why no like them. Couldn't predict this to have happened. Mint never try something like this."

After shaking the fruit free from his finger, Igor notes, "Well, yeth, it turnth out to be eathier to turn a plant into a vampire. They thtay freth ath long ath we keep feeding them others of their kind. But there ith no magic involved. Everything done wath done with thtuff from the ground. Or, you could thay that the ground ithn't entirely natural around here. But the point ith: if you expect thingth to alwayth act like they're thuppothed to, you will likely meet with a bad thurprithe thomeday. Better to learn how to deal with the unpredictable."

Aviri ponders a moment. "More interesting in how reproduce. Plant vampato into ground for vampato vine? Cut open fruit for seeds? Seems bad way for vampegetables to spread, being cannibles."

"You really don't want to know about how they react to being cut," Igor promises, and sets the tomato cage back into the cabinet, where the eggplant hisses at it. "The world is meththy, Aviri," Igor says. "Nothing ith ath predictable ath you think it thould be. And that'th for the betht."

"Manure, mothtly," Igor says. "And fith oil. We get lotth of that from the Akwavi. I may have dropped thome teeth into the fertilizer mix onthe."

Aviri nods slowly. "Organic matter usually help, but if -pure- manure ... startling. Still, easier to understand vampatoes than people. Odd plants make curiosities, encourage learning. Odd people make danger, possible death, possible fun, possible long-term confinement." He shakes his head.

"You have thome interethting notionth about people," Igor notes. "Have you conthidered that the only reathon you find them confuthing ith that you jutht haven't thtudied them enough?"

"Parsley," Aviri says, pausing as if about to add something but stops himself, "insists I m ... I'm missing something. I try to learn more, now. I'm here, am I not?" He gestures around to the castle. "Would rather ... -I- would rather be in forest, or field, or swamp, but instead I'm here."

"Maybe Parthley ithn't the betht teacher for you," Igor notes. "After all, thee getth along with everyone, and can make people do what thee expecth them to."

"And someone else is better?" Aviri asks. "When want ... when -one- wants to learn, they go to where knowledge is vast. I-f I want to learn people, to study them ... she knows people."

"Yeth, Parthley knowth people, but knowing ithn't the thame as learning," Igor claims. "People react differently around Parthley, you thee? The firtht thing to realize ith that you will never thee who a perthon really ith, if you only thee them interacting with the thame perthon all the time."

"She not here now," Aviri notes. "You not interacting with her, but with me. Er, you -are- not ..." he trails off, takes another breath, and continues. "She vanish--es consistantly after introducing me. It's annoying, sometimes."

"It ith inthentive for you to try harder, knowing there ith nobody to hide behind," Igor suggests, with half a grin (it takes a moment, but the other half of his face catches up eventually).

Aviri nods. "Not so much as incentive as forcing," he says with only a hint of bitterness. "But I get better. Already better. Would not have entered castle before."

"You haven't been thtuttering either," Igor points out. "But then you are dropping wordth. Doeth that mean you are more comfortable now?"

"It takes effort," Aviri says. "And ... tactful disguise of the breaks." He smiles. "Comfort is wr ... is not the right word. Maybe 'desensitized."

"Hmmm, would it help if I cackled?" Igor asks, and then taps his cheek. "Would you like thome tea now? Part of being a good hotht ith offering refrethmenth to guethtth. Thith is called Hothpitality. The treeth do not practithe it yet."

Aviri shakes his head. "Still not thirsty, but thanks. Fforests have their own kind of hhospitality. Not tea and cookies, no, but a ... peaceful air."

Aviri thinks a moment. "There can be peace without quiet, and quiet without peace. For me, forest offers best of both."

"Can you explain why though?" Igor asks, one eyebrow raised. "You talk of the predictability of it, which theemth to me to mean that it doeth not challenge you. You've learned all that you can of it."

Aviri sighs. "Nature offers freedom. I can go one place, can go another, or nowhere. Not blocked by walls. Can never learn -all- of nature. Why plants grow best in certain areas, not others. How they get big, how they stay small. Always learn, never stop. Predictable in that I know what's dangerous, what is useful. Never eat foxglove, always cook cattail. Chew this, crush that, always the same. Foxglove not kill one day, heal wounds the next. Do you see?"

"And you think people will kill or trap you?" Igor asks, sounding curious. "Why?"

Aviri shrugs, his right ear twitching. "It is possible. Foxglove can't chose to kill, it kills. You can chose to kill, or not. I can't know what you chose until you do. I can't know if you do something stupid and trap someone else in cave for three days. How can I? So I go to forest. No cave, and I know which plants kill, which animals dangerous."

"How very thtrange, that you would attribute such thoughth to otherth," Igor notes. "Have you ever wanted to kill thomeone, or confine them?"

"No," Aviri says after a long wait. "But it folly to think others think like me."

"Why? Where ith your evidenthe?" Igor asks. "Have you theen or heard of anything like that happening in our community?"

Aviri shakes his head. "Not saying everyone not think like me. But ... if berry sometimes dangerous, sometimes not, why eat it? Best stay away, and be safe."

"People aren't berrieth," Igor points out. "Berrieth don't think, or feel or have relationthipth. You theem to lack empathy, Aviri. Otherwithe you would not think tho poorly of people."

"Not think poorly, just wary of them," Aviri says. His ear twitches again, and he wrings his hand in front of him.

"But hath anyone been wary of you?" Igor asks next, and actually taps Aviri on the chest with his finger.

Aviri recoils from the poke, looking more hurt than such an action would imply. "Mostly they point out I'm not typical Lapi," he says, completely failing to answer the question.

"Those that don't," Aviri continues, "are ... they not hurt. They n ... they are nice, and they seem to understand. I n ... I'm not wary of them; I don't have a reason to be. I try to do that with others. To understand them, so they needn't be wary of me. I not ... don't know how well I do. I'm not them."

"You have to imagine being them," Igor suggests. "You thpend time with Parthley, tho.. can you imagine what it ith like to be her?"

Aviri shakes his head. "I not know Pa--her story. What happened two, five, ten years ago. I can ask, but she not forced to tell. I can imagine what it is like to be my -idea- of Parsley, but not Parsley herself."

Igor grins. "That'th good. You only have your idea of her in your head. With all people you have to imagine firtht, then obtherve and refine your model until you can predict them better. It ithn't hard, and everyone doeth it. Nobody ith going to attack you or tie you up or anything.. well, Gunther might, but it ithn't anything perthonal."

Aviri's eyes go distant, his hands stop wringing, but his ear still flickering at his back. "Wish I could believe you," he says quietly.

"Of courthe you can believe me," Igor says. "It'th eathy! Unleth there ith thomething preventing you from believing it. Maybe you need to thee a witch."

"There ith," Aviri says. "Problem with perfect memory is you can remember perfectly."

"But you've thaid that you don't remember any inthtantheth of people being dangerouth to you," Igor notes. "You have no experiential bathith for your fearth."

"Yes," Aviri says coldly. "Foolish behavior bred a prison for me. Selfish actions left me to my own devices to survive. That is all you should know."

"Hmm, and yet.. you think thethe thingth mutht repeat themthelveth, like the theathonth do?" Igor asks.

"People are not seasons," Aviri says after he decyphers what Igor said. "But what happened made me different. Not like underground. Like open, like forest. Make my home in forest, not in burrows. Sleep in burrows, live in forests. Side effect: not social. Not used to people. Thus, I'm cautions around them, as I would a new plant."

"But do you want to be able to live in the community ath well ath in the foretht?" Igor asks.

"Few thkillth are ath utheful, true," Igor says, and then laughs.. which sounds like he's wheezing 'hen hen hen' over and over again. "Altho, do you thtill have any baby teeth?"

"It ith important for them to be collected," Igor notes. "There thould be thome of yourth in the tooth-bank from when you were younger. Remember to thave any tooth that cometh loothe when you are in the wilderneth."

Igor blinks. "Why? In cathe you damage your teeth, of courthe," he explains. "I can make repairth uthing your original teeth."

Aviri nods slowly as if dealing with an -especially- insane person. "Okay, I will," he says.

"Have you gotten any theriouth injurieth?" Igor asks next, looking the Lapi up and down. "Torn muthcleth, thprainth, broken boneth?"

"Okay then," Igor says. "I'm going to have thome tea. Are you thure you wouldn't like any?"

"I'm a dentitht," Igor notes. "And the town thurgeon. I dabble in organ tranthplantth a bit. You'd be thurprithed how often a kidney can be thared around if you take good care of it."

"I'd prefer not to know," Aviri says. "And with any luck I'll not have to find out."

"I'll get the tea," Igor notes. "Parthley thould be out thoon, thinthe Zahn ithn't here."

Aviri looks around at the room again, his quick motions back as he steps away from Igor and his Cabinet of Oddities. "Oh? You llet her look for someone that's not here?"

"No, it'th jutht that if he were here Parthley and Clover would thpend more time together with him," Igor notes, and does his hen-hen-hen laugh while locking up the cabinet and heading for a side hall, which presumably leads to the kitchen.

Aviri is left standing there awkwardly. "Do ... do I follow," he asks the room quietly.

An evil-looking black creen (with an eyepatch) watches from a perch across the room. "AWWWWW!" it screams at the Lapi. "Getitorf! Getitorf! The pain, the pain! Give us a cookie."